Where the Roses Bloom
by butterfly collective
Summary: Matt and C.J. parted on bad terms after a mission that went horribly wrong. But with a vengeful killer on the loose, someone's got to keep her safe. But would she kill him first? Just borrowing the characters for creative purposes.
1. Chapter 1

She loved the way the wind blew through her loose hair when riding a fast horse across an endless meadow.

While she molded her body to the sinewy perfection of her buckskin mare, she felt as if she could leave the whole world behind her.

At least for a little while…until the real world intruded once again. The one that she couldn't entirely shut out for long, the one that threatened to tighten its grip on her even as she put more miles between her and the place she'd called home.

Her life had seemed perfect not too long ago. She loved her career, the exciting new directions that the business she ran with her best friend had taken them. She treasured most the moment that she and her childhood friend had looked at each other one night and realized that what they'd been looking forward their entire lives was right in front of them.

That had been the most special time of all until…

She reined the horse in and headed back across the meadow not needing to nudge its girth with her legs to get it to take off at a full gallop.

Taking her away from the world once she wished to forget once again…

The flowers that grew wildly in that corner of the nursery were the ones that made C.J. smile.

Not something she did very often these days. But something about the way the vines pushed their way through the labyrinth of the old growth and intertwined with the wire fencing, a test in perseverance and strength.

She had been working at the garden place for a couple of months in a small town just an hour's drive from San Francisco up the winding coast to a beautiful village. She had rented a Victorian style cottage just 200 feet away from the beach and she had left the lease open ended.

After all, C.J. had no idea what she planned to do with the rest of her life. She had left Los Angeles in the dead of night, packing a small bag and getting in her truck to speed away moments before they arrived to get her.

She had ducked as she had driven past her house to the intersection to a larger thoroughfare, because the dark sedan with the two men inside, she knew had been hired to look for her.

And she most definitely didn't want to be found which was why she had just taken off from her life in the big city.

Away from those she worked with, including the one she had loved, and the other who had betrayed her. She had just returned to her home late at night after watching out for cars tailing her and decided she didn't want to die.

She certainly didn't want to be tortured first.

But it hadn't been just her enemies that she wanted to avoid; it had also been those closest to her most of all.

C.J. sighed, pushing all those thoughts out of her mind to focus on her job, arrange the potted herbs on the shelves below where the wild flowers, in a plethora of different hues arranged themselves through nature's design.

Basil, rosemary, Summer Savory and oregano, their scents intermingling in the warm and damp afternoon air in a way that made her heady. She grew her own herbs in a plot on the sides of the cottage and even or maybe because of the salt that wafted in with the breezes to the shore, they had grown heartily. She had dug up a cook book inside the storage shed behind the cottage and had picked out a couple of recipes to try out once they were ready to be harvested.

That is, if she remained here that long…because after all, she had no definite plans. She didn't know if anyone would come looking for her up here but she kept her eyes and ears tuned to any hints that someone would appear.

"Hey, you are going to the beach party later?"

C.J. looked up and saw Clover, an older woman with blonde hair and fine lines near her eyes. She dressed like C.J. in denim overalls and a cotton shirt. She spent most of her time in the rose section. But C.J. shrugged at her, not having made any decisions.

"I don't think so…I think I'll just head home today…"

"Oh come on…there's going to be barbecue and you know Dave's been dying to show off his harmonica skills again."

C.J. had to smile at that. She had seen him practicing once in the area that housed the fruit trees, and had followed the melody through the rows of oranges, lemons, peaches and figs. He had sounded pretty good actually but really, she would just go home and curl up on the veranda swing with a good book and some purplish plums to eat from the tree in front of the cottage.

"Well you're going to miss out on the bonfire later on…and the fish fry."

C.J. sighed, the woman's pitch wearing her down a bit. It might be good to get out once in a while and forget about everything just for a little while. She had grown up near enough to the coast to vacation at the beach while growing up and she had great memories of swimming in the warm ocean, lying on the sand while a breeze softly blew her dry and of dancing underneath tike lamps and of long walks down the coast looking out at the sail boats bobbing on the water.

So...she finally sighed.

"Okay…maybe I'll think about it."

A smile lit up Clover's face.

"Great…I'll pencil you in…you bringing a date?"

C.J. just looked at her, suddenly speechless. That question hadn't intended to be a loaded one but there was no way for the other woman to know.

She shook her head, an easy enough answer to the question.

"Well…there's going to be plenty of single guys and you're pretty enough to attract a crowd."

C.J. wanted to roll her eyes at that, though she had been told often enough that she had been beautiful and with her dark curly hair that framed her strongly lined face, she had turned a head or two. She kept her body toned with exercise, from running to yoga to kick boxing, but soft enough to hone the edges down into nice curves.

But she wasn't out looking for complications in her life right now and bringing a guy into what was complicated enough, no that wouldn't be an option. Besides, nothing could make up for what she missed…and what she had run away from at the same time.

She knew that the man she loved and the one who betrayed her were both looking for her. And then there had been the people she had trusted who had let her down when she had needed them most.

No, best to keep life as simple as possible and to keep herself as separate from the world around her as much as she could do…but surely going to one party would be harmless enough.

So she just shook her head bemusedly at Clover as she left and returned to her garden work. It kept her grimy most of the day, it messed up her nails something awful and her muscles ached at the end of the day but she felt content…happiness wasn't exactly in her present or future. She had been lucky enough to find herself a job that she could bury herself in, as long as she needed.

The wheelbarrow she needed to go get the next batch of plants to place on the shelves for sale awaited so she got up, brushed her pants and went to push it back to the inventory section.

The man that had been silently watching her from behind the labyrinth of wild flowers followed her, stealth enough to not attract her attention.

C.J. walked to gather some more pots of herbs to place in the wheelbarrow to take back when suddenly her body stiffened.

The breeze wafted in the usual saltiness of the ocean, intermingled with flowers of different kinds but now…she detected a man's cologne. She looked around her carefully but all she saw where the leaves on the azalea bushes stirring and saw orange butterflies lighting on flowers.

But damn for a moment there, she had been taken back in time, to where she had been lying on a blanket on the beach in some far off place, while in his arms. He had been on top of her, his mouth kissing hers while they lay there together. They had told each other they would take their new relationship slowly. But they hadn't been able to help themselves, finally surrendering to what had been building up between them for so long…every time they had looked at each other had been highly charged…like the air before a summer storm.

And when they touched…she licked her lips just thinking about how it had felt to be with him, not like anyone else.

But it hadn't been real and by the time they had gotten that last assignment everything had come crashing down.

She felt her eyes sting and when she smelled the air again, it simply felt fresh and fragrant with its usual scents to be found in a coastal village. The cologne…a fragment of an old memory popping up for some reason….because the man in these memories that she kept hidden was separated from her in greater ways than distance.

* * *

><p>He watched her as she stood still and he wondered if he had given himself away…because the look in her eyes just then had been for him back when they were lovers during a turbulent time, both the best and worst possible window in their lives to give into what they had held back from one another.<p>

Matt sighed as he watched her resume her collection of some plants to put in a wheelbarrow and knew the time for watching her had passed. He had to talk to her, to warn her even if she pushed him away. He suspected that she'd be less than happy to see him again…but her life meant too much to him not to come. He needed to know the truth.

He reproached himself silently, knowing that the reasons he gave himself for hunting her down were only partly unselfish. It had been several months since he'd seen her and during that time…he had driven himself crazy trying not to think about her. The last words they had spoken between them…had been harsh but he didn't want them to stand between them forever. If his life were taken…he didn't want her to remember that last conversation as his legacy.

No, he had traveled all this way and he intended to do what he set out to do which was to warn her about the man they thought they had just put away. And if he looked at her, and his first instinct was to press her against a wall and kiss that lovely mouth of hers again while he stroked her silky skin beneath those overalls, he would have to keep that to himself.

He knew enough and remembered enough to know she was in no mood for any of that. She might slap him just for showing up again but he had to take that chance because she meant more to him than anything.

Even his own life, he'd decided.

He watched her curl her hair back behind her ears almost absently as she began to push the wheelbarrow back to where he'd seen her earlier. He took a deep breath to prepare for the moment he was to show himself to her. There was so much to say to her but he had to focus on the words she needed to hear to save her life.

C.J. settled in to place the potted herbs in the lower shelves and the coolness of the bricks she sat on, contrasted with the afternoon heat. It was early summer in these parts and the days had been hotter than usual, with a hint of humidity…still comfortable because the oceanic breezes were reliable this time of year. She smelled some of the herbs before she put them on the shelf and made a mental note to add English Thyme and global basil to her collection.

Thyme had been potted in a ceramic shelf outside the bungalow where they'd gone during the times they had needed to get away from their hectic lives. She would snip off some bits of the plants to spice up dishes that he cooked during the quiet times they spent together within the boundaries of their life-long friendship. Before everything had begun to change, to set a new course one that excited them both until…

God, she wished she had known what would happen when the toughest decision in her life had to be made in the aftermath. But thinking about it now couldn't change the past.

She had to focus on the present and not think too much about the future either. That was what she was thinking when a man stepped out of the shadows of the wild flowers and she saw him as if he'd never been gone.

"Hi C.J.…"

She just stared at him, her heart beating quickly…wondering if it were just a daydream.

* * *

><p>When she first laid eyes on Matt, she didn't know whether she wanted to run into his arms or slap his face.<p>

But then again he had often stirred conflicting emotions in her even in all the years they had known each other.

She knew he expected her to answer his greeting but she didn't feel like giving him what he wanted. Too much had happened between them when they last shared space to just be casual about him finding her.

Because she had been so damned careful to cover her tracks and yet he had found her which mean that others might also as well. Not to mention that if he'd found her then he'd certainly been looking and she hadn't wanted him to expend that energy.

"Well aren't you going to answer me?"

She hedged, nibbling on her lip. She shifted the weight of her posture and got up on her feet, brushing her hands as much of a challenge as to clean them.

"Why…I already said everything I had to say…and so did you."

He looked around her at her surroundings.

"So when did you get into gardening"

She lifted her chin up.

'It's work and it doesn't put me on the front page of the newspaper or even on the map."

He smiled at that, even though she hadn't meant to be funny. She studied him standing there in his dark pants and his button up shirt. He had probably flown into San Francisco and then rented a car to drive up to find her.

"Why did you leave?"

She had expected that question and she had her answer.

"You know why…I told you or I tried to but you cut me off at every point. If you didn't want the answers to those questions, you shouldn't have asked."

"Rodrigo's out on bail…"

She widened her eyes at that and tried not to react.

"But he wasn't supposed to be given bail."

Matt sighed.

"He got another high priced lawyer to his ticket and the judge bent, and gave him $2 million to post which of course he did the same day."

She folded her arms.

"So is that why you came to find me to tell me that?"

He grimaced.

"He's back with his crew and he doesn't have to do or say much to get any one of them to take you out."

She took a deep breath.

"He'd have to find me first."

"I found you, didn't I?"

Oh he had her there most definitely. Because he was right, if he could find her, so could Rodrigo.

"Why do you care Matt…why don't you talk to your buddy Brock on why he's out of jail."

She saw him wince at those words probably without realizing it but he'd been the one to throw that in her face before she left…before she could tell him. Now he could go straight to hell as far as she cared.

"Brock's not why I'm here C.J."

She glared at him feeling so many emotions fill her at once, she didn't know how to separate them.

"Get out….go back to L.A"

He didn't budge.

"I can't…not unless you come with me."

She just looked at him as if he'd gone out of his mind.

"Go to hell Houston," she said, turning around to leave.

He moved to grab her arm and she flinched.

"Get your hands off of me."

He backed away and she just stood there, her body rigid before him.

"They're off C.J.…"

She just stared at him because there had been a time when she loved having his callused hands running over her body, cupping her breasts as he kissed the back of her neck, sliding in between her thighs, wanting him to caress her where it would make her want to scream…just the memory of how it felt to be touched by him made her body tingle in the places most ready for him. But she bit her lip to push those sensations, those stirrings of want away from her.

All they had brought her in the end was heartache and another part of her remembered that part of it. A pang hit her deep inside her chest and settled in the pit of her stomach at how his words thrown out in anger had torn up inside of her.

It had robbed her of the words she had wanted to tell him and so she had left him instead.

"Okay…you said your piece…I get it…I'll have to keep looking over my shoulder for longer. I've been doing that anyway."

Matt shook his head.

"No that's not enough…If you don't come with me, I'm staying here with you…until they find some way to revoke his bail and lock him up until the trial."

God, she had tried to forget about when Rodrigo and his band of thugs would get their day in court. The defense attorney no doubt would be searching for ways to get his clients acquitted…and might in fact be using her to help him. If he could prove that she in her capacity as a freelancing agent for the federal government had entrapped him by luring him into bed.

Brock had warned her about that before she'd taken off…in that way of his that she hadn't trusted because he knew the truth…and she knew that but he hadn't shared it with anyone else. Certainly not the man standing in front of her now who had idolized him. Because then it would put his ass in a sling with his bosses, and he had been looking at a promotion into the management ranks with this assignment.

"When will that be?"

She knew that they would be talking about weeks or months rather than days because nothing proceeded quickly in the federal justice system, certainly not justice.

He shook his head.

"Could be a while…he's got contacts everywhere and they'll be giving him a place to disappear under the radar and still look for you."

She shrugged.

"Maybe he wants to bust your ass Houston."

He narrowed his eyes.

"That'd be easier than him being after yours but then after what Brock told me."

She flashed him a dangerous look.

"What did Brock tell you?"

Matt paused rubbing the back of his neck.

"About you and Rodrigo…"

She almost flinched at his terminology describing her and Rodrigo but she wasn't about to let him see that he had gotten underneath her skin. They had worked together for years in investigations and had been pretty close friends…until he had decided to deliver on Brock's request for a favor to borrow their skills because Rodrigo and his men had breached a database and had gotten access to the files of their undercover operatives in narcotics and trafficking.

They had proven that by slicing the throat of a female operative that had been in deep cover with Rodrigo's inner circle and her body turned up in the truck of a burned out car with that of another agent who had been driving the car after a clandestine meeting with her that had been anything but that.

So Brock had gone outside his agency to look for some people foolish enough to participate in an undercover surveillance job involving a party thrown by a millionaire. He's gotten intelligence that Rodrigo and his gang had planned for some type of double cross involving that millionaire and that his A-list party might have him showing up with his crew.

For once, the intelligence had paid off but after that, it'd all gone to hell.

"I don't need your help," she said, "You need to get your ass back to L.A. because you've got a cousin there who's trying to get out of a damn wheel chair. ."

He planted his feet firmly and had no intention of doing that.

"You'd be signing off your life if you did that," Matt said, "I can't let you do that. We've been friends for so long."

She had to choke back the laughter that comment had drawn, which wasn't based on finding it humorous.

"Matt…It wasn't enough in the end was it?"

No, because she had submitted her resignation papers from his firm and she had meant every word and hadn't hesitated when she had signed them. He'd heard about that from Chris because he hadn't been in town when she submitted them.

Then she walked right out of the building for the last time just before she packed up and left later that night to get the hell as far away as she could from her old life.

"I still care about you and I'm not leaving you up here to get picked off by Rodrigo or his men…so I'm staying if you won't come back with me."

She just sighed, remembering how stubborn he was and how he didn't like to back down from anything and neither did she so this standoff, well it could last except she really had to go back to work.

"I'm not going with you and you're not staying…in fact I've got work to do."

He smiled.

"I talked with Adela, really nice lady, wears that interesting hat…well she's the manager of this place right?"

She looked at him warily.

"Yeah…she is…so what?"

He looked directly at her, and she almost got drawn into his brown eyes but no, she was smarter than he took her for obviously.

"I applied for a job and she's agreed."

C.J.'s mouth fell open.

"You didn't just…"

He smiled.

"Oh yes I did…I'm going to be hoisting some bags of manure mix over in the side yard."

She just stood there trying to process that news.

"Fitting really that you should be working with manure," she said.

Matt' lips quirked slightly.

"You would know darling…"

He just stood there and damn if he didn't look a bit smug. Yeah he was there to watch her back until they roped up Rodrigo on some technicality and put him behind bars until they could do the job permanently but she knew he had ulterior motives…not that she cared.

He watched her, thinking that she looked upset right now but she'd get over it. She had no choice because he wasn't about to let anything happened to her, and he knew she was too stubborn to go back to L.A. with him.

In fact he was counting on it.

He thought it had been all about protecting her but when he had first seen her, an image had flashed in front of him of one lazy night when they'd been staying at a cozy place on the coast, they had returned from a walk out in the moonless night, crossing the grassy expanse of the hill above down the narrow winding staircases to where the bungalow sat.

As soon as he'd opened the door, it was she who had nearly jumped him, wrapping her arms around him and grinding her body against his burgeoning erection sealed by a couple layers of fabric between them. He had taken her right in the living area, after they had ripped off their clothes while locked in a kiss, before sinking onto the rug where she had positioned herself over him and sheathed herself with him, sliding slowly and deliciously down until he had sunken as deep inside her as he could and then she had ridden him. Her breasts, pale and soft, swaying in front of him, their rosy tips tantalizing his mouth…as he settled his hands on her hips to adjust the tempo…where they rode each other.

It had been so hot…so incredibly sensual the way her face looked, as she built to her climax and he approached his own…she grabbed him hungrily and kissed him to seal off herself from screaming as he held her waist when she finally arched her head back, as he branded her with his own heat.

He had held her afterward as she panted against him, their bodies drenched with moisture and remained connected by flesh, for a moment that seemed timeless. Neither wanting to be the first to move away from the other…had it always been like that between them in many different ways?

It had been reckless, he remembered now thinking back because they weren't supposed to cross the lines carefully etched through time and temptations involving their life-long relationship. But what had long simmered between them, hidden by their carefully woven friendship had just exploded and once it did, it seemed as if there was no going back.

Matt remembered those lazy days and passionate nights when they had embarked on what he'd hoped to be the next phase of their relationship…nothing else would ever fill his life as she had done. But after the assignment, the one that had gone so horribly wrong in a hail of gunfire and then a tense siege had erased what they shared between them as if it hadn't ever existed. It had inflicted damage in other ways as well.

Brock had told him in confidence that she might have been the one who jeopardized the assignment before and during that siege. But Matt just couldn't believe that though it's not like C.J. had been open to talking about what did happen inside the estate during the hours they'd all been held captive, their lives in the balance.

But now she needed his protection, whether she wanted it or not and one way or other she would get it whether he had to drag her kicking and screaming.

Somehow he didn't think it would come to that.


	2. Chapter 2

C.J. had just stared at him after he had told her so matter of fact that he would be working at the nursery, and that meant that they'd be in the same vicinity. Not what she wanted at all but he stood there, stubborn as always and just told her how it was going to be.

Damn him, she thought as he smiled at her, knowing that she would have to yield to him on this issue. At least for now while she thought of different ways to get him out of here and back in his car or Lear jet or whatever to L.A. where he belonged.

"Well I'd like to talk to you but I've got to start loading…"

She raised her brows at him.

"Manure…that's right, your area of expertise," she said.

He just smiled and the way he looked at her, he looked right through her. She felt her body warming up against her will. She felt her breasts harden…at least her clothes would hide him. Why couldn't she control the way her body reacted around him?

Because there had been times before their falling out when he had made her feel so damn good…had held onto her tightly as he nursed her straight into some place pleasurable with his mouth or his fingers or…she clamped her mouth shut and then looking straight at him, daring him to keep looking at her like that.

"No that's only one of my areas…you know some of the others…"

He winked at her and then walked off, heading to the office to no doubt finalize his hiring by Adela. She just sighed as she watched him go, and how his pants molded so nicely to his ass, the same one she'd squeezed with her hands many a time…as their bodies collided before meshing together in harmony not so sweet. But no, she had to be strong here because she no longer cared about him…did she? After what he had done, the words he had said…she felt them anew, like a splash of icy water in her face when she remembered them.

She returned to the ground where she crouched as she stacked the potted herbs on the shelf, where she knew they'd sell rapidly enough because it was the perfect time of year for them. Working kept her mind off of him, didn't it…but then she remembered what he had said about Rodrigo making bail and that sent a chill through her because she knew he was right in that he might coming looking for her. If not him, he might send some hired men to do the job. No, she thought knowing Rodrigo he would want to deliver his message to her personally. He had promised her as much the last time she'd seen him.

And probably very painfully before finishing her off….she felt fear fill her at the thought that he might want her to suffer so much she would beg him to kill her. No, she definitely had to be a realist in that she needed to find some way to protect herself from that king of the thugs if he came for her. Because despite what Matt might believe, she had nothing left to feel about anybody but hate…Matt had his way of getting through that last assignment they had done together and she had hers.

His had involved taking off one day armed of course to go hunt down the members of Rodrigo's posse who had slipped through the Feds' net. He had gotten some of them and a couple of them didn't live long after meeting up with him.

Her way of dealing with the botched assignment hadn't involved murder.

She sighed, rubbing her face smudging more dirt on it but that was the story of her new life, was to not work inside an office building, tied to a desk except when she and Matt had been out doing investigations on contract. He had added that wrinkle to their firm's business, to lease out their services to the federal government primarily because of his personal ties with Brock. But he didn't know everything about the man he'd played football with at the university or had backpacked with in Europe after getting his degree before heading off to basic training in the army with Will.

But she liked her job because she had grown up living off the land with her family when she had been younger before her parents had died and she had been made a ward of the state.

"They look nice…"

C.J. looked behind her and saw Adela standing there.

"I hear you hired a new guy," C.J. asked, "Sure you made the right decision?"

Adela smiled at her.

"He told me he had a history with you but no specifics and I didn't pry," she said, "as long as he can hoist those heavy bags of potting soil and manure, he stays."

C.J. rolled her eyes.

"Okay I hope you know what you're getting yourself into with him."

Adela's eyes danced, her mouth pursed.

"I'll let you also know I invited him to the beach party tonight," she said, "to welcome to our nice village."

C.J. shrugged after she got on her feet.

"Whatever… I don't know if I can go…"

Adela's eyes grew sterner.

"I think you should reconsider…it's one of those corporate events and everyone who works here's got to go."

C.J. almost protested but then she saw what Adela was up to…the woman had a razor sharp mind for plotting escapades, which was fine but count her out.

"He's really gorgeous isn't he," Adela said, "I almost wanted to squeeze his ass while he walked by but that's harassment isn't it?"

C.J. didn't really respond to that because not only had she been tempted, she had actually known how it felt just like how a few other things felt about him. Like when the hardness of his muscular chest pressed against her breasts and what it felt like to have his tongue inside her mouth and his fingers massaging her sweeter spots, as he called them. Oh if she had ever needed anyone to help her find it…she knew who the expert in that department was.

"He might enjoy it. He enjoys women a lot."

Adela arched her brow.

"I wouldn't think of it, not while I'm going out with Randy but he's sure nice to look at isn't he?"

"I don't think about that," C.J. said, "I'm really too focused on my work here."

Adela just shot her a look like she definitely didn't believe one word she said, but then she hadn't sounded convincing. Yeah, she looked at him and part of her wanted him but all she had to do then was remember what happened.

How he had treated her and said about her. He hadn't actually called her the names but he implied that's how he viewed her when he found about what happened on the assignment and who had botched it. .

Or what he thought had happened.

The truth hadn't interested him, he had proven that and she had walked away from him and her career in the firm they had built together. The truth would remain with her with the rest of the memories.

"So I'll see you there later then," Adela said as she breezed away not waiting for an answer.

Not that C.J. would give her one because she hadn't made her mind up yet. She'd think about it…not him as she continued working.

* * *

><p>Miles away, many miles away, Rodrigo sat in his lawyer's office right next to one of the tallest buildings in L.A. a free man.<p>

Technically not free because he had only posted a hell of a lot of bail money to get out of jail until his trial and his lawyers had warned him that the really difficult work lay ahead. He had been charged with multiple felonies including orchestrating assassinations of his competition or those who betrayed him including a couple of federal agents including the one who had once worked closely as his administrative assistant.

Slitting her throat after his squad of guards were finished with her where she had been tied up on a bed inside one of the cottages on his estate had been pleasurable. He had waited until the last one had gotten off of her and zipped his pants before pulling out the stiletto, which he simply cleaned off with a handkerchief after pulling it out of her.

It had been easy enough to set up her fed contact to pick her up and taken him down much more quickly, a shot to the head before placing them both in the trunk of the car and setting it on fire.

He had left that part of the task up to the experts and then he set out to get ready for one of his millionaire partner's party out on an estate overlooking an impressively sculptured coastline.

There had been a beautiful young woman who hadn't turned out to be what she appeared, yet another operative who had tried to mess with his plans. But not a fed, simply part of a team of investigators they had hired freelance to more easily slip past Rodrigo's own team of operatives who had hacked successfully into the federal files of the operatives.

Her name had turned out to be C.J. Parsons and she had left L.A. at some point after…after having some sort of confrontation with the head of the assignment, Brock. Rodrigo's own team of attorneys was busy working on how he and his men had been entrapped by the millionaire through the Feds and their hirelings. After leaving jail, he had gone to stay in a hotel bungalow near Malibu and had gone on a 10 mile run, to get all that pent up energy out of him before dawn and later after a nice hot shower, he had dined on brunch at one of the five star restaurants off the beach. He made up for lost time enjoying the finer things that he had missed during his six weeks in a federal detention facility while keeping his body physically hardened by all kinds of exercise including martial arts.

Then he started planning his next moves. He had to appear up and up while out on bail to please his expensive attorneys but he had already started sending some of the best men he had on a hidden payroll to search for her. And he promised a lucrative bonus to anyone who could pinpoint her location and bring it back to him. His top guy, Milan had already started working on locating his elusive prey.

So far there hadn't been much luck but he knew that if she had left L.A. it hadn't been to get away from him…so she wasn't in deep hiding and she wasn't in federal protection. That would make it easy enough to locate her quickly and then when he got the call that she'd been found, he would travel to where she was and move on her himself.

He had missed her in his own way…the feel of her silky smooth skin under his touch…the way her body felt when taking him inside of it…the exquisite feeling of lying in between her thighs, pressing her against the sheets of the bed. It made him go hard just thinking about it…so she hadn't meant it…that didn't mean anything now.

As soon as he had her alone and away from the rest of her world, everything would change.

* * *

><p>C.J. had left the nursery and headed back to the cottage in her truck. She pulled in the driveway and walked through the path through the flower beds on either side of it to the front porch. The swing where she loved to sit on warm nights waited but she just sighed and after opening the door, walked inside to the cozy living room where she put her purse down.<p>

She had locked the door behind her and had checked the windows, drawing the curtains so that no one could see inside. And then when she realized what she had done, she cursed.

No, she wouldn't let what Matt told her affect her in any way. She had her life to live and wanted to keep it from getting too complicated. She walked into her kitchen to pour herself some juice and then settled in the kitchen nook.

She wondered where Matt would be spending his nights… probably renting a place just like hers. Hopefully way across the village from hers…because if he lived too close to her, she didn't know if she could stay away from him…

C.J. wanted to be strong but as much as he had hurt her, she had missed him. Walking away from him had been both easier and harder than she could have guessed, but seeing him again…no she couldn't let that change anything.

What did you do when half of you wanted to run away from a man and the rest of you wanted to reach for him and pull him close to you, skin to skin and allow him inside not just your body but your heart?

No, she couldn't think that way…there was no way for them to go back to where they'd been before they broke…and he hadn't tried. Coming all the way here to find her had been about protecting her out of some sense of remaining obligation.

Clover had left a message on her phone to join her at the party because there were some guys that would be interested in her. She texted back and said she might think about going but only stag. She had no interested in hooking up with anyone.

Even Matt, Clover had asked, and she didn't know if the other woman knew their contentious history.

But the answer she shot back was both terse and final, no. And she meant that, she told herself as she went to shower and change for the beach party.

C.J. dressed simply for the beach party, picking out a pair of denim cutoffs and a tank top along with a light wrap for after sunset, when it grew cooler. She let her hair air dry, its curls slightly tighter than normal and wore some light makeup. No reason to pile it on because she wasn't looking to impress anyone.

Certainly not Matt who had said he'd be there. Okay, then she would just pretend that he didn't exist and maybe she would hang out with the guys that Clover had said would be there. Not that she planned anything by it, because she wasn't looking to hook up with anyone, Life was already complicated enough.

She locked up her cottage and got in her car to head down the highway out of the village a couple miles down to the beach. Farmland dominated the landscaping on the drive and she finally turned into a clearing that served as a parking lot. Others had arrived and parked already and she saw the activity out on the sand. Barbecues were cooking burgers and hot links and she saw some ice chests filled with beer and sodas. A group of guys had brought guitars and some hand held drums to play music. Couples walked together down the beach or sat on blankets on the firmly packed sand.

C.J. looked around and saw Clover who smiled and walked up to greet her. They walked by an ice chest and Clover called for a guy to toss them some cold beers and he did. C.J. caught hers and popped the tab before taking a drink.

"Hits the spot doesn't it," Clover asked.

C.J. nodded.

"You checked out the guys yet?"

It seemed that Clover had men on the brain. C.J. just sipped her beer thoughtfully, looking out across the beach towards the ocean.

"I'm just here because Adela forced me to come."

Clover made a face.

"Yeah well, she thinks because she's found a guy to make her happy that she'll do whatever it takes to help the rest of us out but I don't need her help."

"I don't want it."

Clover looked her over.

"Do you even like guys?"

C.J. just threw her a look.

"Of course I do, just not right now," she said, "I'm living to make myself happy not someone else."

Clover looked puzzled.

"Why can't you do both, I mean doing a guy can make you really happy."

C.J. knew that well enough but that kind of happiness she could do without because it caused a lot of pain as well.

"I haven't given up on men; I'm just taking a break from them."

Clover didn't really look like she understood that any better but she nodded.

"Okay then that leaves more for me."

C.J. shrugged.

"Go knock yourself out…I'll just take get something to eat and then maybe take a walk down the beach."

Clover's brows rose.

"Alone?"

C.J. sipped her beer again.

"Well yeah. That's how I like it."

Clover just shrugged and sauntered off with her beer. More people arrived at the party as the sun sunk lower in the sky, coloring it with a blend of soft orange and red hues. She hadn't seen Matt and didn't think he'd show as she went to grab herself a hamburger off the grill before sitting down to eat it. Adela and Rick were talking to another couple by the makeshift band which wafted the air with rhythm and blues, intermixed with classic rock.

The food was delicious and as she finished her burger, she looked up and saw Matt dressed in faded jeans and a jersey shirt talking with Clover. A shard of pain sliced through her but she looked away from them and out into the ocean. A couple guys approached her and she talked with them a little bit.

But after she finished eating, she grabbed another beer and after wrapping her jacket around her waist, she took off walking down the beach, before it got dark and the bonfire started.

The tide had started to come in a bit and the water wrapped itself around her bare feet delighting them with some chill before receding back out. The sound of waves breaking on a beach had always been one of her favorites so she focused on that as she walked past the sand dunes.

It reminded her of the beach many miles away near Rodrigo's compound on the island She had walked along the strands of sand in the evenings eager to get out of his mansion and decompress after another tense day playing her dual role. Eager to put this case behind her and anxious that she would somehow tip him off that she was an operative. Even on the nights that Matt had been away on an errand, she had walked by his empty bungalow, missing him but secure in the knowledge that he'd return soon.

Now months later, she walked on another beach but not far away from him, at least not in distance.

But she couldn't stop thinking about him even though she tried to put him out of her mind…they had been friends for so long but that's what made what he did all the more painful…if he couldn't forgive her for what he thought she did, how could she forgive him?

The waves curled into shore and she enjoyed how the water rushed over her feet, massaging them with grains of sand and then pulling the tide back out again. She flashed back to a time when she had been with Matt on beach someplace and he had been chasing her into the surf, the water a brighter shade of blue, with the sunlight causing the tips of the waves to sparkle like diamonds. It had felt pleasantly warm but when the hot breezes brushed against her body, she had felt the coolness. And when he had caught up with her and pulled her to his bare chest and kissed her on the mouth as the water surrounded them, giving them a gentle tug until he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the shore.

Oh, how it had felt back then, so carefree and the rush of desire tearing through her faster than they could give into their passion…but now it just caused her sadness and she pushed it away as she continued walking toward the rocky jetty extending out into the ocean.

"Hey wait up…"

She turned around to see him heading towards her, his feet bared just like hers and the bottom of his jeans a brighter blue from having waded in the incoming tide. She just folded her arms and stood there staring at him.

"Why did you follow me?"

He sighed.

"You know why C.J.."

She tilted her head.

"No I don't Houston, why don't you enlighten me?"

He just looked at her standing there, a stubborn line above her beautiful green eyes, and her full mouth turned up slightly at the corners. A part of him wanted to rub her lips gently with a finger before stroking them with his mouth. She kissed better than any woman that he had ever been with and she sure knew what to do with her hands, with those slender but surprisingly strong fingers.

He wouldn't be surprised if she started pointing a couple of them at him right now.

"You really shouldn't be going off by yourself, not with Rodrigo out on bail."

She pursed her lips.

"Oh why are worried, I still think it's your ass he wants to kick…"

He frowned.

"This isn't funny C.J., the guy's out there somewhere and probably gunning for you."

She sobered, rubbing her forehead.

"Look I know…but running scared just plays into his hands by making it clear he's got the power and he's really into control."

His brow arched.

"You saying you know from experience?"

She just sighed in exasperation.

"I don't want to talk about it with you so just drop it."

He shook his head.

"I can't…not if he's aiming for you because if anything happened to you…"

She put up her hand.

"Don't tell me that you'd feel responsible because I told you that you don't have to worry about that. I'm a grown woman."

He sighed.

"Hard not to see that C.J.…but that's not what I'm talking about."

She felt her face prickle. Damn him for trying to tip the balance between them that had become precarious enough.

"I know...but really I didn't leave L.A. to run away from Rodrigo…I did it to get away from you."

She could tell he didn't like that statement but tough for him because he had earned it and if he proceeded like this, she wasn't pulling any punches. No way, would she ever give him that satisfaction.

Now if he'd stop looking at her like that, because she could imagine what it'd be like to slip her hands underneath his jersey and feel his muscles twitch beneath her more than capable touch. She loved his tight abs, which tapered up into a chest with enough dark hair to make things interesting for him when she tugged gently on it, with her fingers, while she kissed his mouth.

Damn she really had to stop thinking like this, she had to be strong and remember what he had done to her, all those things he had said.

Why was it so damn difficult right now?

He approached her and she just stood there and let him. And when he got near enough so she could almost feel him, he reached out to stroke her face. She thought about flinching for a millisecond but her body said no.

And then his lips met her own mouth and her body nearly jumped at first but then she recovered soon enough as he brushed them against her. Barely touching her at first but then a second later, he kissed her leaving her no doubt what he was doing. She responded by opening her lips a bit to deepen it. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her closer to him and damn it, she let him. She felt his tongue probe her lips, around the edges…in a way that sent shivers through her. She sighed and then her arms went around his waist and soon their bodies touched.

She felt him hard against her and she broke the kiss and just looked at him suddenly.

"Matt…what the hell are you doing?"

He brushed her hair off of her face, looking at her.

"You know what I'm doing…and you want me to do it."

She shifted her balance feeling totally off balance.

"I don't want anything with you…"

He still held onto her, not feeling like letting her go.

"What if I don't want to stop?"

She just looked at him, shaking her head.

"Please don't…"

His lips descended on her mouth again, and sent those delicious sensations racing through her. His hands slipped underneath her shirt, stroking the silky smooth skin of her back. She flinched when she felt his hands there. He looked at her while he did it.

"What's the matter?"

She pulled away from him then and just glared at him, and he watched her not knowing which emotion that he saw predominated the rest. But he saw anger and hurt, mixed with indignation and…desire.

But then she'd always been a complicated woman in and out of bed.

"What is it that you're not telling me?"

"Nothing Houston…not everything's about you."

He got that persistent look in his eye, the one that reminded her of his background, of what they had shared together for years.

"Then why did you pull away?"

She shook her head then sharply, could the man in front of her be any more clueless? Did he really think the way back into her good graces was to slide between the sheets? But she tried to reign in the anger that threatened to be released from deep inside her.

"No…It's because I don't want anyone…I don't want to be hurt by you …"

She started to walk further down the beach and he knew then if he grabbed her arm, she might slug him. But she had known that he wanted her…she had felt that proof against that part of her that wanted him too. Only a few layers of clothing separated them and he knew that she knew that too.

"I'm less lethal than he is, I hope you know that much."

She didn't flinch looking back at him.

"Yes I do but that doesn't make you less dangerous in other ways."

She turned around and started to walk back to the party. He stood there watching her go wondering how he was going to keep her safe if she withdrew from him like she did now. Sure he wanted her, a part of him wanted nothing less than to show her that now but he didn't think she'd be receptive.

And although he tried damn hard he kept thinking of her with Rodrigo, the night of that party before it all went down when he had been by the wet bar, keeping an eye on a couple of Rodrigo's guys, he had noticed that both Rodrigo and C.J. were no longer in the room.

And when she had returned not long later…he read her face and hadn't liked what he'd seen there.

He just shook his head, watching her grow smaller in the distance, her curly hair blowing softly against her back before heading back to the party.

Wondering what the hell he was going to do next.


	3. Chapter 3

Damn him, C.J. thought after she had returned to the party which had gravitated to the bonfire now that the sun had almost finished setting. Her lips still tingled from where Matt had kissed them a few moments ago before she'd sent him packing.

But she hadn't wanted to do that at all, she'd wanted him to strip her right on the beach and for them to pick up where they had left off before their lives had gotten so damn complicated. She hated herself for wanting him like that, but the way she felt about him couldn't be disconnected so easily.

Not like it had been for him. But she couldn't give herself to him again as long as he saw her as why his cousin wound up in a wheel chair. Why did he assume so quickly that he knew how it had gone down when he knew nothing about what had really happened.

Of course he thought he knew everything and didn't even think that he could be wrong. That's why he'd come onto her like that. Well, he could go to Hell as far as she was concerned or as close to it as possible which was probably L.A. She had driven as far as she could go to get away with him and not totally lose connection with herself and her life. She had found something here that had led her to feel content and almost safe.

That had been shattered by his arrival, not to mention news that Rodrigo was out there somewhere wandering around after getting bail. She knew that he didn't have to move an inch, all he had to do was reconnect with his extensive network of hired hit men to hunt her down and finish her off. But she also remembered that Rodrigo had been the type of man to save the worst punishment for those who betrayed him and that he'd personally be issuing it out.

There could be operatives of his in town right now putting her under surveillance while he awaited the best opportunity to make his move against her.

His final move if she didn't get a plan going.

She didn't want Matt back in her life and she didn't need his damn help not the way he had left things between them back in L.A.

Not as long as he thought the worst of her even as he'd just kissed her on the beach.

C.J. didn't know where Matt had gone when she had walked away from him, hopefully back in his car to head back to L.A. but she knew that wasn't likely. Oh yeah, he had just gotten that job with Adela to work in the nursery right alongside her. Her body tensed just at the thought.

"Hey, where'd you head off to C.J.?"

She looked and saw Clover heading towards her with a beer in her hand.

"Did I miss anything?"

Clover shook her head.

"They're just about to light the bonfire and play us some music…you want to dance with anyone here?"

"Nah…I think I'll just sit and watch."

Clover looked around her.

"Not even that hunk of man who was here earlier," she said, "You know Matt, the man that Adela just hired."

"Oh him…no thanks…"

Clover sighed while rolling her eyes.

"I know Adela's supposed to be like with someone but don't be surprised if she makes the moves on her latest handyman."

C.J. unwrapped her light jacket and put it around her because it was starting to cool down.

"Really," she said, "You think she's interested?"

"Well, she's known for shacking up with the hired help so you'd better watch out if you're interested in him."

C.J. waved a hand.

"Couldn't be less interested actually…I just left a bad relationship and I'm not interested in picking up another guy right now."

Clover's smile dimmed.

"Oh…I didn't know you had your heart broken…"

C.J. shrugged.

"Oh that healed…I'm just rethinking what kind of guy I'm attracted to before I take another dip in the current pool."

Clover nodded.

"Oh I get it…totally…take as long as you need…less competition."

"Sure…I think I'm going to check out what's up with the bonfire."

Clover nodded.

"Let's go find a good place to sit."

* * *

><p>Matt had walked back to the party where he met up with Randy who tossed him a beer. They talked for a few moments and he glanced occasionally over at the bonfire where he'd caught C.J. talking with the other employee, Clover. His body still hummed from having kissed her but the desire that she had evoked in him still remained coiled up inside of him.<p>

The magnetism of her which had drawn him into that kisses…a remnant of what they had shared in the past. When his skin had slipped beneath her top and caressed that silky smooth skin of her back…that had made him go hard because at first, she hadn't pulled away from him.

She only did that because he had made that comment in order to encourage her to keep kissing him. He had thought when she did that, and then they could dispense with the clothing and sink onto the sand, caught in an embrace while she opened up for him, like old times.

It hadn't worked out that way. And he knew that Rodrigo had been the reason because as hard as he tried, he couldn't ever forget that there'd been hours during that siege when he hadn't even thought about where she'd been. He'd been so focused on telling his cousin who lay with a gunshot wound in his back not to die on him, not to leave him after they had just reunited with each other after years apart. Roy, dressed in a blood stained tuxedo had been administering first aid on the son he had thought he'd lost forever until about a year ago.

His thoughts, his focus had been on not losing one of the few family members he had left in his life. But he found out later that when C.J. had left him there, she'd been taken in the back of the house with the other female guests.

"We've got surveillance film of some areas of the house but we still hadn't watched them all," Brock had told him, "But when we asked her what she'd been doing that time, she didn't tell us."

So much of the siege that took place around him remained unknown because C.J. hadn't been the only one not talking and all she said to him when he turned on her when he learned his cousin might never walk again, had been said in anger.

He had been just as overtaken with anger bordering on fury and had to keep his voice from rising while he methodically tried to extricate the details from her but then she hadn't run from him but had waited until he'd left town to hunt the men responsible for what happened to his cousin down.

He's been far away from her until now but somehow, he didn't feel any closer to her than he had been when miles had separated them.

Even though she had kissed him by the sand dunes, he knew she hadn't gotten any closer to him or him to her.

So he left the party and headed back to his car to return to the place he'd rented while he tried to persuade her to return to L.A. if for her own safety.

* * *

><p>C.J. tried to enjoy the bonfire but remained deep in her thoughts. Life had gotten so damn complicated when she had boldly crossed the threshold, the barrier between them and had wrapped her arms around him, drawing him against her.<p>

When he had kissed her just then, a wave of heat had moved from her lips, causing her nipples to harden against her bra and a jolt had reached between her legs. She had remembered how it had been like with him, all those warm humid nights and lazy tropical afternoons. Back before she thought she hated him.

She sighed, running her hand through the sand which held some of the day's heat and watching the flames crackle up following a trail of thick smoke up into the night sky. It didn't drown out the cacophony of waves crashing on the rocky shoreline.

God what she'd give to go back to those times when they'd spent that one night on the beach, together. There hadn't been any fire because they didn't want to attract attention but they had found a secluded area where they had lain out a blanket and he had pulled her gently down into the center and slowly peeled every item of clothing off of her while his mouth trailed kisses where the skin became exposed to the night. They hadn't left that spot until the sun rose, and she'd watched him wake up beside her wrapped up in the blanket, his body still warming her own.

Then when they had walked back to the bungalow, they'd gotten the phone call on details of a mission they had accepted from Matt's old college buddy, Brock. Since then, the whole world had turned upside down in ways she couldn't ever explain or the collateral damage would never end.

She hid a truth so carefully, the kind that could get a man killed, thus leaving the woman who loved him to face another kind of death.

C.J. had gone back to her cottage after the bonfire. She had looked for Matt before she left but he had disappeared. Maybe he had gone back to wherever he had been staying. She knew she had pissed him with how she had kissed him and then taken off but she really didn't care how he felt at this point.

If she hurt him maybe the better because then he'd hopefully stay away from her and get it in his head that she didn't need or want him but she had to look out for herself now.

She couldn't ever let down her guard now that she had two things to look out for, the menacing presence of Rodrigo out there somewhere, and also the arrival of Matt.

She didn't know which one was more dangerous.

Rodrigo would torture her and kill her for sure. He might hire the best men to find her but he would handle her himself. She feared him but she didn't know if she were the highest on his list of priorities right now. He might have other people to go after first before getting to her but she had to keep her eyes open looking out for him.

Matt was dangerous in an entirely different way…he had held a piece of her heart even before they had broke their carefully established protocol and made love. They should have stopped after that first time but no, they had been unable to keep their hands off each other. She had still felt that itch even as angry as she was with him right now, that tug to just grab hold of him and allow him to fill her.

She had turned on some fans but the cottage still felt quite warm, some iced tea would taste good right now so she went to the frig to get some to drink…then a shower would feel even nicer.

* * *

><p>Matt stayed in the bushes outside the cottage by the window in her bedroom. He had tried the area next to the kitchen but she had only been in there a moment to get something out of the refrigerator before heading out of the room. So he had gone to the area outside a bedroom window and made sure he wasn't visible, aided by the darkness, not to mention the shadows cast by some trees.<p>

Then his eyes widened as she returned to the bedroom, and removed her shirt, without a care. Her curls fell back around her head as she cast the shirt aside, her brow furrowed as if in thought…and then he peered closer and saw her breasts, creamy and full as she turned slightly. He couldn't keep his eyes off of them, as the memories of how they had felt beneath his hands, overflowing and how those rosy tipped nipples had tasted….one time he had brought over some honey and had streamed some over them and then had licked every bit of it off of them…by the time he had finished, she had gripped the sheets and begged him to stop in one breath and then changed her direction the next.

They beckoned to him even as she didn't see him and he ached to mouth her nipples again, as they hardened. Then she walked out into what must be the bathroom. He realized what he'd been doing and silently slipped away from the bungalow to head back to his own place, knowing she at least made it home in one piece.

As pissed off as he might be at her, he wanted her to remain safe.

* * *

><p>C.J. disrobed and went into the bathroom, testing the water in the shower before getting inside of it. She soaped up quickly enough, covering her body before standing under the spray. Memories flashed before she could stop them of being pressed against a wall while a man held her hair, whispering harsh words in her ears. She had been too frightened to respond, her body just shivered as he told her what would happen.<p>

Blinking her eyes, she concentrated on the heat of the water rinsing her body, the steam circulating around her in the enclosed space. She'd dry herself, get dressed and then head to bed to hopefully sleep and not dream.

If only the memories could be so easily cleansed…there were things that Matt could never understand and she couldn't explain them to him. Miranda understood why and she needed to speak to her at her next appointment.

She toweled herself off and then ran another one through her hair, before allowing it to dry on its own. After she returned to her bedroom, she looked into her drawers and pulled out a pair of light sweats and a tee-shirt along with panties.

She slipped her panties on and then her other clothing before walking up to her mirror to comb her hair thinking about the barbecue and how nice it had been to hang out with some of the folks she had met and finally feel less than isolated. She could definitely see staying here for a while. Except…

Damn Matt, for returning and damn him further for kissing her like that, in a way she wouldn't easily forget. She drew the comb carefully through her curls and wondered if she would be able to coexist with him if he decided not to head back to L.A. Getting him to walk away from her wouldn't come easily as he had put his foot down about keeping her safe not that she needed his help.

She could take care of herself and she definitely didn't need a guy around who viewed her as someone who couldn't handle herself in the field. No, she wouldn't do what he wanted, he could try and give it his best shot but in the end she wouldn't bend. After a while, he'd head back to L.A. his purpose unfulfilled. She thought to herself that sounded like a simple enough plan but damn her body trembled at the thought of his hands holding onto it while he laid one of those damn fine kisses on her. She felt herself start to weaken…and it hadn't taken long to do that.

Which meant she had to be careful, real careful not to fall back into his arms because all he could do the was hurt her as he had already done…because Matt after all hadn't been the only one left feeling betrayed. She finished with her hair and then lay on her bed, without disturbing the sheets and picked up a novel to do some reading to help her sleep.

If C.J. had known what Rodrigo had planned for her when he found her, she might have packed up and ran. No, she probably would have just run. But she lay in bed that night thinking of another man, the one who had followed her all the way up the coast and even got hired at the same nursery to keep an eye on her.

His rock hard body filled her mind right now, his muscular arms that had held her so tightly when they had gone at it hard and heavy from that first time…the danger had been there with them but for once, they had ignored it and gone with their feelings. But how long would it take for that to catch up with them, and when it did, she had a hard choice to make.

One of the hardest she ever had to make because it really hadn't been a choice. But damn if Matt. could ever stand still enough to listen to her explain what she had to do and why… It made no sense and next time she crossed paths with Matt., she would tell him that, the next time he had cross words with her, she would put him in his place. But part of her just wanted to wrap her arms around him and slide back into bed. That part of her she needed to work on, learning whether or not to trust the man who had walked away from her with her heart when she couldn't even trust him with her life.

She got up and boiled herself more water to steep yet another mug of chamomile tea which she brought back to her bed. After sipping it, she felt herself relax a bit but still that edge that had been stoked by Matt.' arrival kept her from lowering her guard enough to drift back to sleep.

At the beach party, well down the shore from it, when they had kissed, oh she had burned for his hands to slip beneath her shirt and fondle her while she ground herself against him, like a cat in heat. Her body had almost carried through with that fleeting thought but she had reined in herself…just in time but damn, if she couldn't keep doing that, let it slip that he got under her skin, then she'd be lost in his arms again.

And probably regret it too.

No, she had done the right thing which was to keep her distance and her heart frosty to him…he'd figure out that he couldn't just drag her back to L.A. and then he'd leave her alone.

Alone to live her new life, up here staying in the cottage for at least a while, working in the nursery, a place no thug like Rodrigo would bother looking.

"_He'll find you C.J.…."_

Matt.' admonition reached her mind again, reminding her that if Rodrigo decided to come looking for her, he definitely wouldn't stop until he found her. But if that meant that Matt. was sticking around, maybe she should be the one who left town so neither man could find her.

* * *

><p>Matt. lay back in his own bed in the cottage he had rented not that far from her own, he had left not long after he had gotten an eyeful of her undressed inside of her cottage. He had managed to keep watch over her without her knowledge, he knew that Rodrigo and his hired men were as likely to do the same…counting down the moments until they grabbed her without her being aware of her fate…until it would be too late.<p>

No, he couldn't, he wouldn't allow that to happen. He'd stop Rodrigo and whatever or however many men he'd send to find her. He lay there as the fan circulated fresh salty air that had wafted through the open window, dressed only in his briefs.

An image had flashed in front of him of her dressed in her beautiful party dress, black and spaghetti strapped showing off her tanned shoulders. They had been at the party about an hour and she'd gone into the atrium to look at the tropical flower displays that made the enclosure appear almost as if it were a slice of wilderness. He had followed her in there and they had fallen into each other's arms. Kissing as their arms slid around each other's waist. They knew they should have never slipped away from the other guests but they couldn't help themselves.

Their interlude had been short, intense and left them breathing heavily against each other by its end as they adjusted their clothes. She kissed him then slipped away to freshen up before returning to the party.

That had been not long before Rodrigo and his men had made their move. The last moment that he had spent with C.J. before everything had changed, and its memory haunted him now months later. The taste of her mouth against his, her soft hair, the way it had felt to slide his hands over her dress as she unfastened his pants. But what they had done had broken mission protocol, even though they had slipped back into their roles easily enough afterward.

But not seamlessly enough as it had turned out.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo sat at his desk, for on nights like this he didn't sleep. His lawyer had warned him once again not to leave town but he had his own plans. His men had been spreading out their search for that bitch, and when they found her, they would give him a call.<p>

He had promised a special bonus and a piece of her to the man who tracked her down. He'd take his own piece of her and then he'd tell her what he had planned for her. He had just gotten off the phone with Carlos in Brazil.

"You got any girls to send me," Carlos drawled, "I need some fresh meat for my clients."

Rodrigo smiled, knowing that the man managed one of his specialty houses, for the most elite clientele who'd pay the highest prices for the women that they used for the night.

"Yeah…I'm expecting a shipment of one of my best whores," he said, "The kind that doesn't know she's going to be one."

Carlos laughed.

"Ah, one of those, well I'll have a special place for her down here."

Rodrigo sighed, imagining the look on C.J.'s face when she woke up from a drug induced sleep and found herself inside a special room they'd have prepared for her, wearing a whore's dress, with her legs spread wide open as the men lined up for her. Her eyes would widen, her mouth might scream, in a place where no one could hear her.

And where there was no escape.

He smiled just thinking about it. A fitting end for someone whose testimony could put him away.

He left his seat as he imagined what it had been like that night of the party. She had been beautiful, even if she hadn't wanted him. Well she would find out soon enough what would happen to those who messed with him.

He buzzed his phone and asked for the new arrival to be sent in to his suite and slipped out of his clothes, admiring his muscular build in front of the gold plated mirror. Not an ounce of fat on him, his life had left him with a razor sharp body. He never knew when he'd need to fight to keep his position now that he had ruled the narcotics trade for five years.

Soon the door opened and the woman with reddish hair and a body that filled out her negligee walked inside, just looking at him.

"What's your name," he asked.

"Violet…I just got here…I swear this isn't where I am supposed to be…they told me I'd get a modeling gig."

"You like to model Violet?"

She nodded shyly, her eyes still wide.

"Come here Violet, I've got something for you…"

She did after hesitating and he slid off his robe and stood before her, naked and she looked taken aback.

"What…"

"Oh come now, you know that to be a successful model, you have to do certain things first…"

"I guess so…"

"So your first assignment will be to come right here and do as I tell you…"

She started breathing like she might hyperventilate, as she looked around the room for a way out but there was none except the French doors to the balcony which led to a long way down to the rocky shore below.

"I can't…I'm engaged."

"Were engaged…that won't work in this line of business Violet…now come here and get started…"

So she walked towards him, one step at a time and knelt before him as if she were at an altar to pray.

Smiling, he grabbed hold of her and she knew what came next.

She wasn't that bitch, but she'd do for now…and yes, it was a long way down from here.


	4. Chapter 4

In her dreams, she held onto him so tightly but when she woke up in the morning, she didn't remember much beyond that. Damn, C.J. told herself, she had to stop remembering the way it had been between her and Matt before things had gone bad.

She got up early enough to shower before cooking up some breakfast of eggs and wheat toast before heading to the nursery. If Matt hadn't shown up in her face, she might still be dreaming about him After all, she hadn't been so sure she had erased him from her memories or at least exorcised him.

How wrong she had been but there was still hope that she could put him in his proper place which was nowhere in her life.

She put on some worn jeans and a faded tee-shirt before combing out her hair and putting it in a thick ponytail and a hat on top of it. The day promised to be quite hot and a new shipment of fruit trees was arriving which meant that she and Clover had to load them in the wagon and relocate them in the empty spread in the back of the shop. Peaches, plums and walnuts all of which would find new homes fairly quickly enough. She didn't know what Matt would be doing and she didn't much care as long as it involved something like shoveling manure and he stayed out of her hair.

Arriving at the nursery, Adela standing behind the cash register waiting on a couple purchasing border flowers, she quickly told C.J. to head back and move the fruit trees.

But as she wove herself through the maze of the nursery, she looked up and by the rows of trees, she saw Matt standing there waiting. He was dressed like her in old clothes which he must have bought at a thrift shop.

"What are you doing here?"

He smiled.

"I'm helping you with these trees," he said, "I heard we have to move them to the other side to prepare for sale."

She frowned.

"Where's Clover?"

Matt rubbed his forehead.

"Oh she's handling the rest of the butterfly bushes that are on display in front today," he said, "I guess Adela's trying to clear them out for something else."

She just didn't say anything else to him but headed to get the trolley to load the trees up on the flatbed cart. Matt joined in and did most of the heavier lifting while she kept the cart steady.

"I thought for sure you'd head back to L.A. by now."

He pursed his lips.

"Not without you," he said, "I meant what I said, I'm not going back unless you go with me."

She stopped working and put a hand on a hip just looking at him.

"Why not…look I can handle myself and I'll be fine," she said, "Rodrigo's got bigger fish to fry than me…like you."

"I'm not the one who he's been thinking about."

She sighed.

"Look I'm not going to get into that with you," she said, "I'm not explaining my actions to you or anyone else. I'm done with that. If you can't deal, it's your problem."

He nodded.

"No…it's not just your problem…your actions…ours had consequences for others."

She just sighed and refused to say anything more as he hauled a couple more young trees onto the cart and they both pushed it towards the far side of the nursery. She looked at him sideways but he kept his eyes focused ahead. She looked at his hands which gripped the cart handle, causing the muscles on his forearm to tense up. He took damn good care of his body; she had to give him that. She had felt the benefits of its fitness herself when she'd been in his arms, and she had wound her legs around his muscular build.

Her mouth went dry and she shifted her thoughts away from him. She couldn't afford that luxury because if she thought about what the two of them had shared too much, she'd slip so easily back in his bed. Her body had craved his touch, the movement of his own against her, inside of her.

"You ready to unload these," he asked when they reached the location.

She blew a tendril of hair out of her face.

"Ready when you are…let's get moving."

They hauled the trees one by one off of the cart and while they did that, Matt looked at the woman next to him who was lithe and strong but soft and ripe at the same time. She had filled out a little since he'd seen her last, softened her edges, and he wondered if it would change the way she felt in his embrace. Her hair was the perfect shade of brown, a dark mahogany but it didn't belong wrapped up in a ponytail but loose in soft curls around her face.

He thought about touching her just then. Softly at first, just to remember what her skin felt like beneath his finger tips. Would it feel as good as her lips being explored by his own mouth? They had spent a long time wrapped up in each other, just kissing after they had used up some of that pent up energy of course. When they had first made love, it had happened like an explosion, not a whisper. A collision of their bodies fed by lust and need, which wrapped around them so quickly, he could barely breathe. When they were together, he felt better than he ever had with any woman.

Damn shame with how it had all turned out.

Sickness weighed on him when images flooded his mind of that night, of when violence had disrupted what had been a festive party. His cousin lying shot on the Persian rug, his blood staining a pattern across it. Guns pointed at his own head and C.J. being shoved into another room away from him.

He looked up at her as she appeared lost in her own thoughts making sure the trees had enough space between them and then taking hold of the cart and heading back to get the next load leaving him to abandon his own thinking to catch up.

The second load went more quickly than the first and then the two of them went to the classic soda vending machine and bought themselves some chilly colas. C.J. sighed as she sipped hers because the work had left her mouth parched, the day had really heated up.

Adela had gone out to inspect the fruit trees and had told them that they looked good enough to go on sale the next day after some watering. Then she assigned the both of them to handle a dozen small avocado trees and Matt groaned and then drank the rest of his cola. C.J. shot him a look.

"You know if this is too much for you, you can always quit."

He shot her a direct look that heated up her blood though she didn't show it.

"I can do whatever you can do…I'm just getting warmed up."

She chuckled, chucking her bottle in the bin.

"Yeah right…let's get moving…"

But he did handle the trees well, even though she could tell his muscles cramped by the time they got halfway through. She remembered the time that she'd given him that massage back on the island…but no point in traveling down that road the way his muscles had twitched beneath her kneading fingers…and how he had whispered in the middle that she really needed to stop or…she smiled at that part. Despite him acting like a jerk, she still missed him.

Clover wandered in the middle of their working and smiled at Matt.

"Hey, you ready to take a break?"

He wiped his brow and looked at her.

"Depends on what you have in mind."

She smiled back at him.

"I'd like to invite you out to dinner…at a restaurant in town that's got great fish."

He thought about it and C.J. tried not to notice. What Matt did was his own business after all, not hers. He nodded.

"Okay…I'm willing, what time should I pick you up?"

Clover shrugged with a wider smile.

"About six, I'll see you then."

"Later…"

He watched her go and then looked over at C.J..

"Does it bother you?"

She shook her head.

"No…I think it's great that you've been here a couple of days and already have a date."

Matt went back to lifting the avocado tree.

"We'd better finish this up…I don't want to be late."

She just sighed at him as they returned to finishing their work.

Rodrigo got out of the shower, and slipped into his silken robe. He went to his bedroom where Violet waited for him, her wrists tied with silky sashes to the bedposts, her body naked.

She looked at him, apprehensively.

"I thought we were finished…"

He picked up the surprise he had for her and walked over to stroke her hair gently, before grabbing it in his fist.

"Oh no, we've just begun…"

The guards walked away from the doors, ignoring the screams that turned to pitying cries from inside Rodrigo's suite.

**Earlier...**

Matt had left the Lear jet where he'd park it and headed to the parking lot where he'd pick up the jeep and take it back to his bungalow. Mac greeted him at the hanger, and both of them knew well enough to whisper.

"Did you get the plans," Mac asked.

Matt nodded.

"I put them in the wheel axel," he said, "So when you do your post flight check, you'll find them there."

Mac smiled, and then gave him some forms to fill out to file with the tower. Matt got into his car and drove down the winding road, with only himself for company as usual. The ocean breeze hit his face, the day's heat still clinging to it. Stars filled the sky and the sliver of a pale moon. He reached his bungalow which was 200 feet away from the edge of the most crystal blue ocean he had ever seen in his life.

Rodrigo's partner had picked himself quite a paradise for this latest hideaway.

After parking the jeep, he walked to his bungalow and turned on the ceiling fan before even stepping inside. He flipped on the light and there she stood in front of him.

"C.J.?"

She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her. He lowered his mouth on hers and kissed her hard, while she threaded her fingers through his hair. Her hair smelled like lilac, intermingling with his aftershave.

Her hands moved close enough to the front of his pants and unsnapped them, trying to pull them down. He finished that for her and his briefs too while still kissing her, then his hands moved towards her dress, riding it up her thighs, gripping her hips covered with the bunched up fabric. No romance, no foreplay, just with one goal in mind.

She backed up eagerly against a wall and he tugged her panties down her legs before she jumped up on him, wrapping her legs tightly around him. She held him closely to her while he kissed her.

* * *

><p>Matt woke up in a deep sweat, not aware of where he lay now. But the dream…it had seemed so damn real. He had felt the softness of her skin as he held her. But no it couldn't be because they weren't the people they'd been back then and everything had changed since they had closed out that case.<p>

Sure they had been best friends and business partners but what had happened between them during that assignment had been unreal. It could never survive the harsh light of the world they returned to after their job had been done. The operation hadn't ended the way it had been planned but it had ended.

He sighed as he shifted in his bed, naked except for a sheet wrapped around him. His date with Clover had been fun but nothing serious. She seemed like a nice woman with no small degree of sex appeal but he had his work cut out for him keeping C.J. from Rodrigo's crosshairs. He had to focus on that.

After getting some sleep, and that meant not dreaming about a past that would never be revisited.

She lay back on the bed, her slip of a dress hiked up to her waist. Her heart beat quickly and she felt exposed, in an unfamiliar bed. He stood above her casually undoing his cuffs, before slipping his shirt off of his massive shoulders. All those years fighting underground where men had died and been buried at sea, had honed out a killer who wore Armani like a pampered millionaire.

"You're so beautiful," he said, reaching for the snap on his pants and lowering them and his briefs before moving onto the bed.

Inside her head, she thought of someone else.

* * *

><p>C.J. woke up and saw that the sun would be rising in an hour so she got out of bed, reached for her robe and walked to the kitchen to make breakfast. She had been dreaming before she had awakened, about Rodrigo.<p>

On nights she dreamed about Matt, she woke up elated a moment before she remembered she was supposed to hate him. But with Rodrigo, there was no such moment.

When she woke up from her dreams about him, she felt dirty. She felt as if she had been stained so deeply inside her, nothing could remove it. She had tried so hard in the months since but it always remained like a brand. .

No, she had put that episode behind her and she had moved on, which was one reason why she had driven all the way up here, leaving L.A. behind her. She had slid into her new role here easily enough, leaving the past behind her and focusing only on each day at a time.

Until Matt had decided to come up here looking for her.

She knew that he wouldn't leave to go back to L.A. unless she came with him which was never going to happen. But although she didn't admit it, the thought of Rodrigo out there trying to find her scared her. If he did find her…that made it hard to sleep at night. So maybe having him around not too close but close enough to act if Rodrigo did appear wasn't such a bad thing.

But he'd have to keep his distance from her if he were going to stay. Living with it had been hard enough but she had pushed everything in her past away.

She would keep doing that and she would make that clear to Matt.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo called in one of his guards to deal with some merchandise lying in the floor of his suite. Violet lay there, her face bruised, on her side, unconscious.<p>

It had been quite a busy night for her but he was finished. The guard walked in, taking a look at her and then looking at him.

"What do you want me to do with her?"

Rodrigo stroked his jaw.

"Put her on the next plane down to Brazil," he said, "She'll do nicely there in one of the brothels."

"She looks out of it."

Rodrigo shrugged.

"Does it really matter," he said, "All she's got to do is lie on her back and she'll be open for business."

The guard called a second guard in and they bent over her, but when they saw the bruises around her wrists and the track marks they looked up at Rodrigo.

When they saw the expression on his face, they kept their thoughts to themselves.

"She'll be out of here by the end of the day."

Rodrigo nodded.

"Good…any reports coming in on that tramp."

"Nothing…though we're expecting a call from one of the men."

"The one near San Francisco right," Rodrigo asked.

The guard nodded.

"Yeah…he might have a trail," he said, "A guy at a motel said he saw a woman looked like her several months ago."

Rodrigo had gotten a lot of tips but not much so far in terms of panning out. It just irritated him.

"Contact me the moment he reports," he said, "I want to talk with him directly."

"We'll do that," the guard said, "We'll take care of her now."

Rodrigo stared down dispassionately while they picked up Violet and carried her away, before he walked through his open French doors out onto his balcony.

Where he'd sit with a magnificent view of the ocean in front of him thinking of his plans for the woman when he finally caught up with her.

* * *

><p>C.J. looked over at Matt before she headed back to unload some of the newly delivered ceramic pots off of the truck. They had arrived that morning to replace a stock which had quickly sold out from a just completed sale.<p>

Not that reducing the prices had been necessary because the items sold as soon as they were placed on the shelves outside the main shop. She focused on the smaller and medium sized pots deciding to leave the heavy stuff to Matt to deal with after she had done her own chores. He had been working on stacking some of the packaged potting soil and fertilizer that had also arrived. His faded jeans hugged his muscular thighs and that incredible ass of his per usual. His tee-shirt had already been smudged by dirt, and drenched with sweat from the heat that had permeated the shoreline. The usual sea breeze had stopped in its tracks for some reason and so a thick layer of humidity blanketed the town. It almost seemed tropical in that sense and brought back memories of that time she had spent with Matt.

No good to think about that, so she concentrated on her work, while Clover breezed on through raving about her dinner date with the man currently sorting the fertilizer from the dirt.

"Man I had such a great time last night with him," Clover said, helping her with the pots, "Dinner and music at a club. I never would have taken him for a Jazz man."

Neither would C.J. because he'd favored classic rock when they had been together even before the assignment as close friends hanging out together after the business day ended. But maybe his tastes had changed.

"I'm glad you had fun," C.J. said, "He seems a bit more relaxed today."

Clover smiled in response.

"Well, we did take a walk through what passes for a strip here after we left the club," she said, "and he did kiss me goodnight…like a friend."

C.J. felt a clenching in her chest but then told herself that was foolish on her part. How could she not expect Matt to have moved on since they'd been together? Just because he was up here keeping tabs on her didn't mean he wanted her back.

She wasn't sure she'd take him back anyway. After the way he'd treated her and the words he'd said without bothering to hear what she had wanted to tell him then. No, she was better off if he just moved on with his life like she'd done with hers.

But then hadn't one of her reasons for moving up north been to get away from him?

That hadn't worked out well at all. Okay, maybe they were now living in the same small town but that didn't mean they had to stick together like glue. If he'd felt it was the right time to start up again with another woman, perhaps it was time to find herself a guy.

Not to be serious with because she didn't think she was ready for that but just to hang out and have fun with and yeah, to rustle between the sheets with too. The last time…no she didn't want to think about that.

It hadn't been with Matt and he'd never stop reminding her of that.

"You okay with it?"

She looked up suddenly from her work at Clover.

"Okay with what?"

Clover hesitated.

"Me going out with Matt," she said, "I mean didn't you used to have a history with him?"

Something sharp pierced inside of her but she shook her head.

"Yeah but that was in the past," C.J. said, "I'm not sure we're really even much of friends anymore."

Clover's dismay tempered her relief somewhat.

"No really Clover, it's over and done. Feel free to go out with him and have fun."

Those words hadn't come as easily as they sounded but they were the right ones. Any pang she had about cutting loose from him had been washed away by what he'd done.

Clover finally nodded and brushed her hands together.

"Okay cool then," she said, "since you've given me the green light."

C.J. sighed, putting a ceramic pot on the shelf and then reaching for her bottle of water. The day had warmed up quite a bit in the past hour, dampening the air in the process.

"Sure, in fact I'm probably going to go out and meet some guys," she said, "Have some fun myself. It's been a while and I need to get back into the swing of things."

Clover brightened up and C.J. looked at her uneasily wondering if she'd just unleashed a pent up force.

"Oh cool…listen I've got tons of guys that you can meet up," Clover started, "You interested in just a casual fling or a more serious relationship?"

C.J. just stared at her.

"I think I just want to start with talking up some guys rather than jump into anything with them."

Clover digested that and it didn't deter her enthusiasm.

"Okay sure, why don't we go clubbing tonight?"

C.J. arched one brow and Clover sighed.

"Okay maybe not exactly clubbing like but as close as we can do it here," she said, "The Pelican Wing has got some classic rock tonight."

That sounded interesting, C.J. thought, thinking maybe it was time for her to get out and mingle a bit.

"That sounds fun. Maybe it'll be good to get out for a change."

"Sure it will, and I'm sure Matt won't mind if you come with us."

Now that didn't sound nearly as much fun, C.J. thought, but she didn't want to offend Clover's good intentions. She just didn't want to be in the same vicinity as Matt in a social setting. It hadn't worked out that well between them at the recent beach party.

Though the kiss had sizzled between them, the aftermath hadn't felt nearly as good.

"Clover, I don't know…"

The other woman's eyes sparkled.

"Oh come on," she said, "We'll meet for some fish and chips at the diner before we hit the club."

"But there'll only be the three of us…"

Clover shook her head.

"Not for long," she said, "You'll hook up with some guy pretty quick and have a good old time."

Matt walked by just then and Clover smiled at him.

"Hey, you're cool with C.J. coming with us to the club aren't you?"

He glanced over at C.J., his brows raised and she just shot him a terse look. His mouth curved slowly into a smile.

"Sure, it's fine with me if she can handle it."

C.J. looked directly at him, while flipping her ponytail back.

"Damn straight I can," she said, "but what about you?"

She saw the shift of emotions in his eyes and knew that he had flashed back to a different time. But then as much as he pissed her off these days, it wasn't like her insides didn't simmer when she caught an eyeful of him working in the nursery. She knew how the muscles of his chest moved underneath her frenzied touch. How his shadow tickled her when he had kissed the hollow between her breasts and how it felt when he moved inside of her while pinning her against the bed.

Her blood rushed at what she remembered inside one second, isolated from the world around them. Sometimes she felt herself weaken and knew she had to take a deep breath then and not do something crazy.

Throwing her arms around his neck and begging him to fuck her would fall into that category. She pushed that urge down inside her quickly enough.

"I think I can handle anything you throw at me C.J.."

He said that with a smile but hidden underneath it, she heard him well. Clover looked at the both of them, with an uneasy look.

"I'm not going to have to separate the two of you," she said, "I mean from fighting each other."

C.J. pursed her lips.

"No I can handle this, but I don't know about him."

Matt nodded.

"Yeah well now that we've got that settled," he said, "I'll see you both later. I've got work to do here."

Clover shook her head as he walked away.

"What'd you get him all riled up for anyway?"

C.J. folded her arms, and gave her a cool look.

"I didn't do any such thing," she said, "I think he gets his own self worked up."

Clover narrowed her eyes.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on between you?"

C.J. blew a tendril of hair out of her face.

"I said that what we had was in the past," she said, "We've both moved forward from it."

Clover looked confused stroking her chin.

"I wonder what brought him up here anyway," she said, "You sure that had nothing to do with you?"

C.J. felt exasperation fill her suddenly.

"Of course, how can anyone explain why Matt does anything?"

"He didn't come up here to like win you back or anything?"

C.J. just moved back to stacking the ceramic pots in one nice orderly line.

"Of course not, at least he hasn't said anything to me about it," she said carefully.

She had just stepped onto a mine here, because she didn't want Clover to think that anything still stood between her and Matt but she couldn't tell her the truth either. That he'd rushed up here to try to strong arm her into going back home because some vengeful trafficker had tried to find her.

No, some things had to stay a secret after all.

"I hope you don't think I'm not being honest about Matt, but seriously it's over, it's been over and you don't have to worry about that."

Clover bristled just a little bit.

"Oh I'm not worried," she said, "I just wanted to be sure that's all because I'm seriously going to make the moves on him. He's just too much of a hunk to resist."

Ah, C.J. knew that to be true because hadn't she succumbed to the same temptation? She should have just left well enough alone and not gotten together with him.

But her libido had gotten in her way, outrunning her good sense.

Still a part of her felt a bit riled up that Clover had plans to seduce the man that had hadn't had to work so hard to seduce her.

So C.J. had her own plans for the evening and they wouldn't be the only ones getting some action.


	5. Chapter 5

C.J. stood in front of the mirror inside her bedroom to bush the tangles out of her hair. She winced as the brush caught on some strands. The humidity of the ocean intermingling with the summer heat often wrecked havoc with her hair. Not that she cared much because she wasn't dressing to impress.

She just wanted to go out and have a good time. After arriving with Matt and Clover, she'd leave them and mingle in the crowd. Hopefully she'd find some guys to talk with so she could forget who she arrived with for the rest of the evening. After all, she'd be driving her own car.

It'd keep her honest and on track because even if she found someone there she wanted to hit the sheets with, she'd still rely on her own transportation. She didn't feel in the mood for casual sex tonight but that could change in a flash if she met up with the right guy. After all, she hadn't been with anyone since…she bit her lip to drop that memory quickly.

Maybe she'd make up for it tonight.

She didn't know if that would erase the past but she couldn't spend her whole life in a past that couldn't be changed haunted by memories that would just have to fade. So she grabbed her purse and headed to her car to the club where she'd stick with her plan and forget who she came with.

The sunlight began to fade as she headed down the main strip towards a parking lot that no doubt would be overflowing tonight. Not much nightlife in this village so people tended to congregate in the couple of night clubs.

Sure enough she saw that a crowd of people were still waiting to get inside the squat building as she drove into the lot. She found a spot and got out to get in line to get inside. Most of the people who waited appeared to be couples but she saw plenty of single men.

The room was packed and she had to squeeze through walls of people to find her way towards the back area. She picked out Matt and Clover standing near the bathrooms talking. They looked up when she walked on up.

"Hey you're lucky you found us," Clover said, "This place is packed."

"Yeah, I had no idea there were even this many people in this town."

"Some of them are from other nearby towns," Clover said, "We swap musical acts sometimes."

C.J. looked over at Matt.

"Okay I did my entrance but I'll leave you now," she said, "See you later."

"C.J.…where you going…?"

She smiled at him.

"Out to mingle, to meet some new people. Have a good time."

"Be careful."

She raised her brows.

"Be careful…of what? I'm just going to go meet some people and when it comes to men, I've always taken care of myself."

Her heart pounded when she said that and she saw the reproachful look on his face. That irked her, what right did he have to tell her who she could and couldn't talk to, or certainly who to go somewhere and fuck for that matter?

So with that thought in her head, she left him with Clover to go scope out some action at the club. Guys looked at her as she passed them on her way to the bar, where she ordered some tequila.

She took her glass back to where she'd pick out her vantage spot for the performance. A tall man with a shock of dark hair and a nice build glanced over at her.

"You here for the music," he asked.

She looked back over at him.

"Mostly but also to meet people, I'm kind of new in town."

He smiled, nodding.

"I just moved up here to start a construction company several years ago," he said, "So I know what it's like to be new."

She sipped her glass.

"It's not too bad," she said, "unless your ex follows you or something insane like that."

He chuckled, assuming her to be joking. She didn't feel like setting him straight, but sizing him up, she had a few other ideas in mind. Just then the musicians started to warm up and she focused on the music. Out of the corner of her eye, she could make out Matt standing close and talking to Clover which suited her just fine.

The music which soon filled the club turned out not to be half bad and she found herself listening to it. Even tapping her foot to the beat a few times and the guy next to her seemed to enjoy it too.

"Nice, I caught this act in Shawsville…"

Ah, next town over and she turned over and smiled at him.

"I used to go to the clubs back in the big city."

He leaned closer to her to be heard above the noise.

"Which city…?"

She hedged because she didn't know him very well.

"Does it matter," she said, "They're all the same."

He shrugged sipping his own drink. She studied him carefully, liking his strong jaw line and his how his blue eyes contrasted with his black hair. His body looked like he worked outdoors in construction.

"So is the music after a while," she said, "Do you want to leave and go somewhere."

That perked him up.

"I don't even know your name."

She arched a brow.

"Does it even matter," she said, "Come on, there's a storage room in the back."

"Now…?"

She nodded, downing the rest of her tequila. He finished his drink and putting his arm around her, they moved through the crowd towards the hallway.

Right past Matt who saw them.

Not that she cared what he thought, as she and the construction man moved towards the storage room. He opened the door and it looked pretty clean, with boxes neatly stacked, a hint of pine cleaner filling it.

She grabbed him by the waist and pulled her closer to her.

"Come on, let's get this party started."

He didn't need much persuasion as he swept his mouth over her own, teasingly at first and then it lingered. He pulled away long enough to pluck a condom out of his wallet.

She pulled him even closer feeing his hardness against her. She felt his muscles twitch, as she ran her hands over his back, before maneuvering them beneath his shirt so she could feel his skin beneath her hands.

Oh damn, he felt good, the warmth of his bare skin and his rock hard body sheathed by his clothes rubbing against her. He moved away from her, unbuckling his pants, and pulling them down while she worked on her own, aching to feel his arms around her again. He shucked his jeans down to his ankles baring his muscular legs sprinkled with hair.

She started to unbutton her pants, her hands trembling as she started to pull the zipper down while he began to work on getting his shirt off. But then her hands stopped and she just looked at him breathing hard and knew she couldn't do it. Something inside of her froze then, her body went rigid and when he looked at her expectantly, about to pull down his briefs she shook her head.

"I'm sorry…I…can't do this."

"Why baby…you were so hot a minute ago…"

Yeah well that was then and right now, all she wanted to do was slip her clothes back on her body and get back to the crowded room.

"I just…I just changed my mind that's all."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and just stared at her.

"Okay…I thought you wanted it and now you don't…do you always go cold after coming on to a guy?"

Her lips became a firm line as she straightened her clothes.

"I said no…and you need to just back off."

He threw up his hands as if to ward her off and she just looked at him because she had been all over him a moment ago until her body remembered what her mind had tucked away. Now she just wanted to be far away from him.

So after him getting dressed, that's what they did, and as they walked past Matt and Clover, she glanced at him sideways while he stood there drinking out of a beer bottle.

The construction man went to go fetch her some more tequila as she listened to the music. She didn't hear Matt come up behind her.

"You left for a while…you okay?"

She turned towards him.

"Why wouldn't I be," she said, "The music's great, so is the company and I'm having a wonderful time."

"I can see that."

She thought maybe he did but didn't seem to like it.

"Matt, I'm out to have some fun," she said, "Isn't that why you're out with Clover?"

He didn't respond and at that point, construction dude had returned with their drinks. He shot Matt a look.

"You two know each other?"

Matt sighed.

"You might say that…see you at work tomorrow C.J..."

She nodded and then after Matt left, she took her drink from the man and sipped from it. The room had been hot, stifling from all the body heat generated and she'd just worked up a sweat in the storage room.

If she had been able to go through with it...maybe the emptiness would go away. All she had wanted to do while the man had thrust inside her was to forget the last man who had done that. The man who had come between her and Matt…

The one who had torn their world apart.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo stood over the bed while her back remained pressed against the mattress. She just watched him standing there watching her, his body as hard as the man inside of it. Some might consider him handsome but she wouldn't fall into that category but she wouldn't deny his virility over powered everything around it.<p>

"Come on, don't just lie there," he cajoled her in her ear, "Show me some spirit…"

C.J. woke up suddenly sitting upright pulling her damp sheet around her before she realized she wasn't in that bedroom anymore. The room around her looked familiar and not dangerous. She eyed the lit up display on the clock on the nearby table which told her she'd barely slept.

. She collapsed back on the bed, noticing that the sunlight had hours to wait to pierce the blinds and show that morning had arrived. She curled up, trying to get back to sleep.

Maybe if she'd brought that construction guy home to hold her as they made love only it wouldn't be that. But it would make her feel alive again to be wrapped up in a man's scent as he held her close to him. Maybe she'd go back to the club tomorrow night and look for him, not say no to his invite this time.

She still didn't know his name and preferred to keep it that way. After she left his bed, she wouldn't be seeing him again.

She drifted off again wondering if Matt lay in a bed somewhere intertwined with Clover, trying to forget what had past. Had he been better at closing the doors on what had been than she?

* * *

><p>Matt flung his arm over his face wondering if he'd really been smart to send Clover home without inviting her inside. He wasn't the kind of guy who could give her what she wanted and he knew despite her nonchalant attitude, she wanted a guy who'd date her.<p>

Not jump into bed with her a time or two and then move on to the next.

She's appeared to take it well when he'd turned her invite into her house for a drink down and headed back to his car instead. She'd just thanked him for the night out and then headed inside.

Leaving him alone.

He had driven back to his place and after a nightcap, he hit the sack. But found sleep a long time in coming because he couldn't stop thinking about her. Not about Clover but about C.J.

She had gone home by herself. He had seen her say goodbye with the guy she had met, the one she had disappeared with for a while earlier. His arm had been draped casually around her waist as their lips met in a casual kiss.

He found himself feeling relief. H didn't want to envision another man's arms wrapped around the woman he had held onto so tightly in another lifetime.

After tossing some more he got up and went to the kitchen to heat up some coffee. He filled a mug and took it along with his cell phone to the front porch to watch the sun come up. The sky had turned the palest shade of blue with glimmers of yellow and faint orange lighting up the horizon.

The birds warbled where they nested in the nearby trees and he sipped his coffee watching the town come to life around him. A lot different than L.A and the lifestyle he had grown used to while living and working there.

He wondered where Rodrigo was right now and what he was doing. It was a good bet that he was out looking for C.J. and that it'd only be a matter of time until he or his best men located her up here. He couldn't let that happen, he knew the consequences of that even if C.J. appeared not to understand that.

Checking his phone, he saw that he had some emails and a phone call from one of the agents Enrique. He decided to return that call.

"I got your phone call, what's up?"

He heard a chuckle on the other end.

"You need a better greeting," Enrique said, "after all, you're relaxing up in paradise."

"Hardly,..I was shoveling manure yesterday and C.J. was rubbing it in every chance she got."

"I'd like to have seen that. You've been such an ass to her, can't blame her."

Matt sighed.

"I don't think your call was about my manners so why don't you tell me what's up?"

Enrique paused.

"We have no idea where Rodrigo's hanging his hat."

"So what else is new?"

"No, we really don't have any idea Matt," Enrique said, "He could be living next door to you for all you know."

Matt looked in that direction at a cozy Victorian style two story.

"Nah, I live next door to an old couple," he said, "she brought me some apple pie and cider when I first moved in."

"Then you know she's dangerous," Enrique said, "You can never trust those little old ladies."

Matt didn't feel like joking.

"Come on, get serious how could you have lost him?"

"It happens…the guy's slippery."

Matt sighed. Even though they didn't have a sure fix on Rodrigo's whereabouts, there had been a general idea of where he might be. But they had clearly underestimated the trafficker.

"It shouldn't have just happened," Matt said, "You mustn't have been watching."

"Look we've got much more manpower trying to track this guy," Enrique said, "We'll pick up his trail again soon."

"I hope so," Matt said, "before he finds her."

"Well you're up there protecting her aren't you?"

Matt sipped his coffee.

"About as much as she's willing to be protected," he said, "Remember she and I didn't part on such great terms,"

"Oh yeah, who could forget," Enrique said, "You are one jackass."

Matt bristled but didn't want to get into it with the agent on the phone.

"Yeah sure listen, got to go," he said, "I have to be at work in a couple hours."

"Okay then, be careful and tell her to be careful too."

Matt stared at the phone after clicking it off. So the feds had lost track of Rodrigo again, not exactly news. But that'd make it more difficult for him to keep C.J. safe especially considering how hostile she acted towards him now.

He would just have to tell her how it was going to be from now on. They might not be lovers anymore but he'd be damned if she'd die on his watch.

* * *

><p>C.J. got into her car and drove it to the nursery. She had left the construction worker's house and headed on home to shower and get some light breakfast before heading to work. Relief had filled her once she had slipped out of that man's bed and just as quietly out of his house. She didn't want to get into any discussion over coffee or breakfast at his place over what came next for the both of them. They'd enjoyed one night together, and that to be enough.<p>

She parked in the lot near the store and got out to ask Adela what she needed help with today. The older woman had been running receipts from the previous day in the register when she walked in.

"Oh good morning," Adela said, "Are you ready for something very special to do?"

C.J. looked at her a bit warily.

"Like what?"

Adela smiled.

"Dredge the ponds out back," she said, "Where we grow the water plants and lily pads."

C.J. folded her arms.

"That involves getting wet doesn't it?"

"Yes it does…a little bit. That's not going to be a problem is it?"

C.J. shook her head.

"Oh no, I just don't know if I'm dressed for it."

Adela shrugged.

"I got some old clothes and those rubber boots in the storage area," she said, "That should work. I've got Clover and Matt helping you."

C.J. wondered how the two of them would feel about doing the messy job after the night they'd spent together. But maybe it'd work out and they could get together afterward. She just couldn't believe that they'd hit it off so well. Not that she cared either way well not all that much.

She went into the storage area to change into what turned out to be an old faded tee-shirt and a pair of denim overalls. The boots slid easily enough onto her feet and she walked to the ponds in the back of the nursery.

Waiting for her there were both Clover and Matt who stood there talking and laughing over something. They looked up when she arrived.

"Hi C.J. you ready to get down and dirty," Clover said.

C.J. blew a wisp of hair out of her face.

"Sure am…doesn't look that bad."

Clover grinned.

"That's because you're standing upwind from it."

C.J. thought it looked a bit swampy, and green algae floated with the lily pads. Orange shapes moved around quickly under the surface,

"Do you think the fish will mind," she asked.

Clover shook her head.

"Oh they'll be fine," she said, "So will the tadpoles and crawfish."

Matt looked over at her, amusement in his eyes.

"Oh come on C.J., you can do this," he said, "Remember back years ago…"

She bit her lip. No he wasn't going to bring up that.

"Matt…shut up," she said, "Why don't we do less talking and more working?"

Matt and Clover looked at each other and the three of them slowly waded into the pond. C.J. one step behind them resisting the urge to push one of them in the water.

She didn't know how long that would last.

C.J. looked at Matt as they waded out into the mucky pond and she didn't trust him. But then she didn't trust herself either. Clover smiled at Matt and the two of them moved towards the lily pads.

She felt the fish moving against her legs beneath the water, damn some of them were good-sized, probably koi.

"We'll go look at the reeds too," Clover said, "Why don't you look at the water lilies?"

C.J. looked over where they were located and wondered how deep the water would be there. It's not like they could tell from where they stood. She asked herself again why she had taken this job.

Ah, because she had needed a place to hide out from just about everyone in the world that she knew including the man in front of her.

She sighed, and opened her eyes again to head, step by step to the lily pads. Mindful not to take the wrong step, to slip and sink beneath the surface in front of him.

Not that she still didn't want to dunk him…especially when her mind allowed her to wonder if he had slept with Clover last night in his bed or hers…or maybe someplace hidden on neutral territory like her and her guy had almost done. She had needed last night, if only to know that she still controlled her own feelings and her body not anyone else. But she hadn't been able to go through with it.

"Hey, look these aren't that bad," Clover said, "Adele might want to use these for a display."

"They might need another week or two to realize their full growth," Matt said, "We had them where I grew up."

This had been some place where bodies of water broke up parched acreage of land that grew very little most of the time, one reason why Matt had gravitated so quickly to an assignment in a tropical area. One surrounded by ocean even if the lush paradise had been ruled by a man with an iron fist.

"Hey C.J., you going to be standing there all day or you going to help out here?"

She blinked her eyes at Matt and rolled her eyes at him before heading to the lily pads. One step at a time, very carefully, she had to remember that. Each footstep sunk into the thick mud which layered the bottom of the pond and she had to pull it out. She tensed a bit anticipating the bottom to drop deeper but it remained pretty level until she reached the plants, green stems sticking out of the water attached to pads and bright yellow flowers beginning to blossom in the heat.

C.J. reached her hand to touch the blossoms, delicate as they looked and her mind flashed to when Matt had picked a blossom, a rosy pink flower with soft rounded petals and stuck it gently in her hair, behind her ear. Her hair had been flowing gently in curls over her shoulders after she had released it from its constrictive bun.

But when he kissed her then, behind the thick tree which stretched its branches over the back of his bungalow, she felt herself melt into his arms. His fingers had stroked her mouth so gently first before his mouth possessed it. Each kiss he had given her had been more magical than the last, had left her more wanting for the next one. His hands had roamed over her back easing their way beneath her business-like where her breasts pressed against her lacy camisole.

When they had come together the first time, it had been as sensual and as wild as the summer squalls which coated the coast with warm blankets of rain. The type that carried the scent of wild flowers, sweet and succulent, cooling their skin. It had been raining then even as the blue sky shone clearly now, and his handling of her, more gentle and leisurely

He had deftly unsnapped her bra beneath her blouse and she had sighed against him as he fondled her breasts, teasing them, at the mercy of his hands.

She shook that reverie away hoping he didn't see her remember what it had been like the night of the party. Her skin felt clammy because that reminded her that Matt hadn't been the last man to touch her breasts, and claim her mouth that way.

Handling the lilies gently brought her focus back to the present and away from the memories that just left her wistful and her body tingling for what it couldn't have anymore. Matt would never handle what happened she knew, and what little she told Brock would never reach him, shielded as it was in the veil of confidentiality. And even that hadn't been the whole truth, no some things she had to keep to herself.

She heard them laughing by the edge of the pond where they clearly saw something that amused them. Clover splashed at Matt and he reacted, as C.J. watched. A chord tugging at her own heart because she remembered the impromptu water fight they had engaged in during one midnight swim when the moon had reflected off the waters as they stood on the darkened beach.

One kiss, one touch away from him taking her into the privacy of the bungalow to finish what one of them had started. She swallowed hard just then, pushing back yet another intrusive memory that did her little good here in her new life.

The one that Matt had tried to drag her away from and when that didn't work, he had invaded it. If only to salve his own conscience that he didn't want to lose his lifelong friend even if their relationship had been badly damaged by events.

She didn't hear the footsteps behind her but she felt the rippling of the water lap up against her chest.

"C.J., need any help?"

She didn't turn around focusing on the lilies.

"Actually I'm doing just fine Matt," she said, "Don't need your help."

He stood next to her, his rugged masculinity just in her peripheral view.

"Looks like there are a lot of them here," he said, "Clover's got the reeds under control."

She sighed.

"I'll bet…look you two handle your area and I'll handle mine."

"Hey no need to get all worked up…"

She eyed him directly then.

"I'm not all worked up," she said, "I'm busy and it has nothing to do with you."

Not entirely true, she thought as she said it. She didn't want him near her right now because she had been pushing hard against the memories which threatened to invade her mind. Even now, she flashed onto the beach where he had drawn her into his arms, kissing her neck while cupping her bikini sheathed breasts in his hand. Damn, if that had made her feel warm, she'd never know it in here.

"Okay…just thought I'd ask."

She narrowed her brows.

"I'd never known you to do just that," she said, "rather than assume or order."

The look in his dark eyes showed her that her words had penetrated him more deeply than she had intended. He worked his mouth and then nodded.

"I suppose I deserve that," he said, "but we had a job to do and…"

She put her hand up.

"I did my part of it no matter what you believe Matt," she said, "Now just let it go."

"Can you?"

She looked around and saw Clover parting a row of reeds with her hands, not paying them any mind. After all, the world she occupied was much different than that known by her or Matt…and probably less complicated.

She paused and then nodded, biting back the bitterness slipping up her throat.

"I have to…life moves on Matt and I'm not staying in the past."

With that, she moved away from her which proved to be damn slow in the pond, with the water pulling and pushing at her. Then she felt him grab her arm.

"And I'm living in the past?"

She just shook her head at him.

"Just let me go, okay," she asked, "and I mean that in more ways than one."

He released her arm then and she moved away, not to retreat she told herself or to escape but to continue working in peace.

But her heart still warred inside of her, her arm still felt the burn of the fingers that had in the past elicited so many delicious sensations from her. The man had proven to be an expert with his hands. She remembered that about him but right now, she had to live her life without him.

Because of those words of accusation that still rang in her ears and tore at her heart. Yes, all the more reason to put more distance between them while pushing down the part of herself that wanted to get closer.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo got off the phone with some of his best trained men, hired to do just what he ordered, which was to find a needle in a haystack.<p>

Two needles in fact, though the man would die much more quickly than the woman. After a couple rounds of torture, one gunshot or push outside of a window would take care of the man who had thought he could defeat him and his empire.

But for the woman, Rodrigo had something very special planned.

He could feel himself getting closer to both of them even though the reports hadn't been very promising in terms of information. But if he upped the reward for finding them, that might garner him much quicker results.

Rodrigo had no intention of going down as an example to the other drug traffickers who even right now were trying to exploit the opportunity to spread their own operations. No, she had plans to stay in business for a long time, spreading its tendrils throughout the globe. He picked up his Scotch and sipped it slowly, savoring what was to come when he could get his revenge.

Showing the world that he was no one to mess with and get away with it.


	6. Chapter 6

Rodrigo got on the phone, flashing his assistant a look that sent him to another room. Since Rita's betrayal, he no longer hired women to look after the administrative side of his business affairs.

At least not his real business…

Not that Rita had been her real name. He had learned later that it was a code name and that she had been a federal operative that had been assigned to spy on him. She paid for her deception with more than her life.

He waited for the man to return with a bid. Hopefully quite a bit higher than that of the last caller…because the merchandise up for auction was of the highest quality…he had test driven it himself.

"I am authorized to offer up a bid of $50, 000," the man said, "not a penny more."

Rodrigo leaned back in his chair.

"She's prime stock," he said, "Nicely built on top and she's got a body that will please any man."

The man coughed.

"I'm sorry but my boss deals largely in virgins."

Rodrigo looked down at her photo taken from a dossier he had collected on her. No, she couldn't be passed off as intact and he wouldn't even try, but she had many other attributes including those which came with experience. Whoever took ownership for her wouldn't regret their purchase.

"He might want to make an exception with this one," Rodrigo said, "She's still got several years usage in her and can handle all kinds of leanings and tastes."

"Sorry, $50,000's as high as my boss has authorized," the man said.

"I don't think that's going to be enough to buy her," Rodrigo said, "I have other clients."

The other man chuckled.

"Yes, she's beautiful and probably a great addition to my stable but she's not in your possession yet is she?"

"No…but soon she will be."

"Well be that as it may, that bid is the final offer," the man said, "but if you do come across one that's purer, be sure to give us a call."

Rodrigo clicked off his phone. Imbecile, he thought, his boss would be lucky to get his hands on a woman like the one he offered. Still, there were other parties out there who still had to put in their bids. He had thought about having a live auction or one done through web cam but the logistics might prove too complicated, especially since she still eluded him.

He had thought about keeping her for himself but he had to lie low while under federal indictment and she'd attract too much attention to him if she suddenly disappeared. He would have to make it look accidental, that some unforeseen tragedy had taken her life. That way, no one would ever look for her.

He'd take care of it when he killed her boyfriend.

Though really, it had been just to postpone the inevitable. Because he would take care of the both of them….just like he had just issued orders to deal with traitors unlucky enough to be caught. In ways that didn't look so accidental but couldn't be proven to be linked to him except by his rivals in the narcotic trafficking world…if he didn't do that, they'd move in on his turf.

He'd be damned if he'd let that happen anymore than he intended to spend the rest of his life in prison.

Another phone call came in.

"Yes…and what is your bid on her?"

"$65,000…"

That was better, Rodrigo thought but he wouldn't let her go for anything less than $100,000. He knew the serious hitters were still waiting to make their own bids. They knew the risks but also the rewards, if Rodrigo said that this woman would make them even more money, they believed him.

"Does she do more than one guy at a time?"

"She'll do whatever you want," Rodrigo said, "She's going to need some training but by the time you get the shipment, she'll be ready to put to work."

"Is she beautiful," the man said, "We do porn too."

"Very much so," Rodrigo said, and he wasn't lying.

She was a bitch, but she was a beautiful traitorous bitch. He knew her looks wouldn't last long if the caller bought her. His boss, Ivan was tough on his whores, leasing them out to men at parties. Some lasting days and nights, but she'd last longer than most.

After finishing that call, he entered that bid in the auction and then leaned back in his chair, smiling in great satisfaction that once his men caught up with the bitch, she would come back to him to get what she deserved before she became someone else's product.

* * *

><p>C.J. woke up, pulling her sheets around her and looked around the empty room. It looked quiet with sunlight streaming through the window. She had been exhausted, too much so to do more than come home and eat leftovers after dredging the pond with Matt and Clover yesterday.<p>

They had left to go home after making plans to go out for dinner and probably more, not that she kept track of Matt' social calendar. But even as sleep took her quickly as soon as she showered and hit the bed in her bathrobe, she dreamed of him.

She had been standing in front of his bed inside the bungalow, slowly taking off a robe and he couldn't wait, rushing up to help slip it off of her shoulders, displaying her naked body. Tanned and firm, with rounded breasts showing off rosy tips, a trim waist and then dark curls in the apex of her thighs which hid her sex. He had kissed her on the mouth then, sliding his arms possessively around her. His own body hardened and sheathed only with a pair of sweats that the first chance she got, she pulled down over his hips and down his muscular thighs.

He'd been intoxicating like a drug and she knew she affected him too. Even now with everything that happened between them, she still wanted him. But she wouldn't succumb to that because she knew that at least for her, it went far deeper than that. She didn't want to remind herself how deep.

Getting out of bed did shake up her thinking enough to get her mind on getting some breakfast and heading to the nursery. She went to the kitchen to scramble some eggs and find some bacon to add to juice and slices of the bread she had picked up a couple days ago at an open market.

She'd need as much energy to dig up a plot for the extension of the community plot along with Matt and Clover. That would take all day just to get it finished before the preparation for sowing would even begin. She sighed, going to the refrigerator to get some juice.

That's when she heard the door knock and she felt some apprehension fill her but she walked carefully to the front door.

"Who is it?"

A familiar voice answered back.

"It's me…Houston," he said, "I need to talk to you."

She remained wary.

"What about…?"

"It's complicated…just let me in okay?"

She unlocked the door and opened it, then looked at him standing there staring at her in so many different ways at once. She just watched him as he walked inside.

She sighed as Matt walked in the house. She wondered if he'd been sneaking around the outside of her house or if he'd watched her during the night. Sometimes she had the feeling that he'd been doing that. He'd call it keeping her safe from Rodrigo or his men but she wondered if that truly explained his motivation.

Had he watched her when she emerged from her shower with just a towel tightly wrapped around her or when she'd slipped into clothes while in the bedroom? Her cheeks tinged pink at the thought.

But not right now because he had landed on her doorstep and she didn't know why. If it had to do with his dates with Clover, she really didn't want to hear about them. Well, she'd listen to him and then send him on his way. She wasn't anyone to him anyway, just someone to protect from some vengeful trafficker.

She folded his arms looking at him.

"So what is if that you have to say to me?"

"C.J.…"

"You came all the way to my house," she said, "and I'm right here listening."

He took a deep breath.

"I heard back from the feds…"

Oh, so it had something to do with what they'd done in the past after all. She sobered up quickly.

"Is it Rodrigo?"

He nodded but didn't say anything more.

"Maybe you'd better come inside" she said, reluctantly.

He just looked at her a moment, standing there in her jeans and a tee-shirt and walked inside. She closed the door behind them and then went to the living room where she sat on the couch. He sat in a nearby chair.

"Okay tell me…"

He sighed and she wondered whether it was really bad news.

"Intelligence picked up some information on Rodrigo," he said, "He's been holding an auction."

She knit her brows.

"You mean involving his drug trafficking operation?"

She knew that he had bought and sold designer drugs and their formulas through clandestine auctions that were held in secret locations through highly restricted closed circuited video and you had to jump through many hoops and security clearances to even be able to bid. Not to mention plunking down quite a bit of cash before the actual bidding even started.

Not what she wanted to think about some months and many more miles away out of the harrowing assignment, but Rodrigo's disappearance had unnerved her and everyone else connected with the case. Though his fixation on her had kept her from really settling down into her new life here…not to mention what Matt' arrival had done.

"Yes…the bid's standing below $100,000 but it's early in the auction according to someone in deep cover with one of his lieutenant's Milan."

Oh she remembered that guy, second in command over Rodrigo's operation who'd been at the party, he'd been a brute in more ways than one but with Rodrigo's prosecution, someone had to take over and the former mercenary turned trafficking leader had eluded the commandos who stormed the island.

"Oh god…is this some kind of new drug?"

His face sobered up even more and his eyes…they penetrated her own gaze.

"What is it Houston?"

He sighed.

"Rodrigo's not auctioning a drug formula, it's a woman to whoever will pay for her."

He studied her carefully.

"She's also about 5'8, got long curly black hair, penetrating green eyes and a tattoo of a butterfly just below her bikini line."

C.J. froze at that description as her blood chilled, even though the day had already turned quite warm. She almost couldn't speak.

"That sounds like…"

"You…?"

She nodded slightly.

"Good I got your attention C.J.," he said, leaning forward in his chair, "because it is you. Your photo's already been intercepted in a transmission and given that Rodrigo's seen every inch of you, now all his bidders have as well."

Oh god, she thought as her skin tingled in what she knew was fear and shame. Of course Rodrigo knew what her body looked like down to the butterfly she'd gotten when she'd been younger.

She knew that Milan knew about her as well though she didn't tell Matt that, she just looked at him as he got up and started pacing.

"You'd better get packed…"

That's when her fear and shame got pushed aside by something else, anger. She stood up too and just folded her arms.

"Hell no I'm turning tail and running," she said, "and before you even ask, I'm not going with you back to L.A."

He set his jaw.

"I'm not asking, I'm telling," he said, "If they find you, you're going to wind up someone's sex slave."

She sighed, still watching him move about, thinking had she always known that Matt had a hard time keeping still? If she didn't know that before, she knew it now. But she had settled down here and she planned to stay a while until she figured out what she really wanted to do. And no one certainly not the man in front of her barking out orders was going to tell her to run and hide. She had no intention with spending the rest of her life under armed guard or inside some safe house, like a moth underneath a glass.

"C.J. did you just hear me?"

She nodded.

"My hearing's fine…and I'm not going anywhere."

He just stared at her like she was crazy. But then she didn't think he ever trusted her to do anything right. It had driven her crazy whether they'd been on assignment or not but she'd reached her endpoint at putting up with it and him.

"So much for using your own judgment…"

"My poor judgment as you call it kept you alive…"

He frowned then clearly unsure of how to respond. His eyes held many questions and he appeared to be reining them in. But impatience ruled him instead.

"C.J. do you have any idea what it means if his men find you," he said.

She nodded, looking at him directly.

"I think I do…much better than you do."

"He'll sell you to the highest bidder that guy will come collect you and no one will ever see you again."

She knew he spoke the truth about that because that had happened to so many women. Far more of them had been kidnapped off the street or inside their hotel rooms or outside a nightclub or shopping mall than even the feds would be willing to believe. They chose to believe that many of them had been naïve young women and girls duped by some guy's smooth talking and yeah that happened too but some traffickers favored abduction. But Rodrigo had never been involved in th flesh trade.

The market had increased in its craving for women who wouldn't be whores unless they were forced into it. Their freshness, especially those who hadn't been jaded by harsh living drew out the heaviest customer traffic. And if they were virgins, they had very special auctions for them because more often than not, they commanded the highest prices.

But if what he said were true, she felt fear threaten to permeate her strong sense of self control.

"C.J. are you listening to me?"

She looked up at him and shifted her weight in reproach.

"I heard you Matt but like I said, I'm not running…"

That didn't make him very happy, she could tell but then he never liked it when she didn't take his orders. Had he been this dominating like this before, maybe at times but he'd also let her take the lead sometimes. Now, that he slid into his work mode, he had turned all dominating as if his sharp words for him to pack her bags and turn tail back to L.A. would have any bearing on her.

"Then I'm going to come looking for you one day here and you'll be gone," he said, "and probably half way on your way to some brothel somewhere or in some wealthy lowlife's special collection."

"Houston…"

He put up his hand.

"No…I'm just telling you what your future's going to hold and by the time I can track you down, you'll probably be dead."

That chilled her inside deep because while researching a case involving sex trafficking she had heard of many a whore who had died of exhaustion or disease and had to be disposed of, either by being dumped in the closest body of water or buried in some shallow grave out where no one would find it.

"I'm not going to end up that way."

"How can you know," Matt said, "Rodrigo could be closing on you right now and you'd never know until you woke up one night to find his men standing by your bed."

No, she'd locked the lock on her door but who would it keep out? She'd sleep with a knife by her bed and with one eye open. But Matt' warning had penetrated because she knew that Rodrigo was ruthless but also patient at hunting his quarry and it's the moment she least expected him when he would strike.

She broke out in a sweat remembering the past and then looked up at Matt trying to swallow her fear so she could appear nonchalant at his warning, before sending him out the door. But the guy was sharp, read body language as readily as people put it out and those qualities made him a top investigator.

And one hell of a lover, before everything had fallen apart between them.

But no point in remembering those times either. All that had been left to her was the present in a small town in Northern California where she had gone to find herself a new life, only to have one of the complications in her old one follow her up there.

"Yeah C.J. how long are you going to last if your sleep's interrupted by them abducting you or even worse, if they decide to sample you first."

She'd fight anyone who tried to do that to her and she was no weakling. Any man who laid a hand on her in this house would be dead and without any hesitation. Maybe that would send a message to Rodrigo to leave her alone but then again…he'd probably become more determined to get her back. Maybe her spilling the blood of his hired thugs would serve as foreplay.

No, she wouldn't ever let him touch her again either. Nor anyone else.

"Get out…"

Matt didn't listen to her the first time so she repeated it.

"I can't do it C.J.," he said, "If anything happened to you…"

"You'd feel damn responsible like you failed Houston but don't worry, whatever happens, I won't blame you so take that as absolution."

He didn't like the sound of that but right now she felt like kicking his ass mostly so he wouldn't see how much his words had unnerved her.

The thought of Rodrigo's hands on her again made her want to vomit everything she had inside her and she didn't want the man in front of her to see that. When he saw her eyes just then, he nodded and threw up his hands.

"Fine C.J.…but if you don't show up for work one morning, I won't even know where to start looking for you so think about that okay?"

She trembled but she just stood there and finally he walked away leaving her alone. After she closed the door behind her, she went into the bedroom and curled herself up tightly in a ball as the images threatened to inundate her again.


	7. Chapter 7

The ocean spanned in front of them as the three of them took a spin out in a boat that they'd rented near the beach where they had been staying. They'd been holed up for hours with a couple of federal agents to plan the surveillance operation and they decided to take the afternoon off.

So it had been Will's idea to go out in the ocean way past the breakers and do some fishing. C.J. and Will's girlfriend Deanna had picked up some barbecue and beers at a local restaurant that did takeout and Matt and Will took care of the fishing gear. After getting aboard, Matt steered the pocket yacht out to sea.

They found the perfect spot where the sunlight splashed on the gently moving water and put down anchor. Will helped set up the fishing line and Deanna brought out some beers for them to start drinking while they showed off their fishing skills.

C.J. laughed, not all that sure they'd catch anything at all but as she leaned against the rail and looked out into the wide span of ocean all the way to the horizon, she was so glad to be outdoors and away from anything to do with the upcoming assignment. The ocean breeze felt hot and humid and the sounds of birds flying overhead like music. She had worn her bikini and cutoffs and some dock siders.

The assignment hadn't been her idea after all. It had been Matt's after his life-long buddy and some kind of g-man Brock had called on him to retain their services for a government operation. His agency wanted to hire freelancers to supplement the shortage of agents they had available since budget cuts in D.C. had strapped available resources. Matt had only been too happy to jump on board but C.J. hadn't really liked it at all. They'd done dangerous assignments in their time and maybe, this wasn't on the top of the list but she just felt like Brock was keeping some of the details to himself.

Not just the classified ones…

Matt walked over to where she stood and slipped his arm around her waist, leaning in for the kiss. She smiled and turned to rest her hands on his hips while their lips brushed tentatively at first and then they intensified their contact. Brief but filled with promise… When they pulled apart, they looked at each other.

"Beautiful day isn't it?"

She nodded, brushing her hair back to smile. They'd woken up to the sunlight spilling in their window of the bedroom where they'd slept after spending most of the night in each other's arms exploring this new relationship thing they had going. It had been intensely sweet…but well, she hadn't been able to get enough of him before sleep took them both, as they lay together their hearts beating nearly in perfect rhythm.

"Will's in good spirits…I think Deanna's good for him."

"Yeah, she seems like a nice girl and she seems to get him," he said, "and that's not easy."

C.J. reached over to get herself a beer from the ice chest and flipped the top off the bottle.

"Well he's been through so much Houston…and well, she's done time as a counselor for war veterans so she understands PTSD and how it affects him."

Matt sighed.

After Will had tried to jump off a high rise back in L.A. he'd been 51/50ed for a psych evaluation which he had fought at first, but after a sleepless night despite being given meds he agreed to enter into a specially tailored residential program for war veterans that had been diagnosed with PTSD and other psychiatric conditions. After his own diagnosis, he'd been put on a med protocol and given intensive counseling individually and in group with other vets. His family and friends hadn't been able to visit him for the first 30 days but when that restriction was finally lifted; they were amazed to see the difference in Will's attitude and outlook on life.

Now he was in school working on finishing his BA requirements so he could then go to graduate school to get his MSW.

"Yeah I know how much it helped me to talk to someone who could help me get perspective on what it was like to come out of combat without my cousin…"

Matt had been counseled when he'd started back at university to get his MBA and then more recently, after his experience being kidnapped and brainwashed for a month as part of an intricate scheme to frame him for murder. He'd learned that seeing a psychologist didn't equate being weak especially when he saw the alternative where other people who faced traumatic experiences in and out of war zones who refused to seek help, either being in denial or too proud.

More than a few of the ones Matt and Will had known had wound up killing themselves.

She saw that sadness flash in his eyes for the briefest of seconds and slipped her hand in his to squeeze it. He smiled at her in response as they both returned to looking out at the ocean, while listening to sounds of laughter from where Will and Deanna fished.

The perfect of all days for the four of them to be together…a gift considering that Matt had gone nearly a decade without even knowing Will was still alive. Not to mention that after having been friends with the man next to her for most of their lives, they had finally gotten together.

For an idyllic week on the Mexican coast anyway. She didn't know what their future held and they didn't discuss it much, mostly just lived for the moment. But when they held onto each other tightly anything seemed possible.

Will wondered on over with a bottle of beer in hand and a mischievous glimmer in his eye.

"So Cuz, you too engaged yet?"

C.J. just rolled her eyes and went off to join Deanna who had started putting out the spread for lunch on a table on deck.

"Don't be telling him anything Houston…"

He watched her head off and then turned to his cousin, taking a sip from his own beer.

"No…why do you ask that?"

Will folded his arms giving him a knowing look.

"Because I know you too got together, don't know how it happened and don't care just glad it finally did…because it makes sense."

"How so…?"

Will sighed, putting his beer bottle down.

"Because I always knew you belonged together…now I'm no romantic but there's something about the two of you since you were kids. Even after all these years that passed when you came and got me and I saw the two of you together, it was still there…and I'm not just talking about being childhood pals."

Matt pursed his lips.

"Well we'd always cared about each other, we just always hooked up with other people."

Will smiled.

"As long as you two finally get it right," he said, "get together, get married and have kids…fill a house with them."

Matt ran a hand through his hair.

"We're a long way from there," he said, "We're taking it one day at a time."

Will chuckled.

"What's to know? I know she's always took more than a shine to her best friend and you…you didn't hide it as well as you think."

Matt smiled, willing to take his cousin's jesting. Mostly because the week he'd just spent with C.J. had been incredible. He didn't want it to end when they went back to the States and the agency…why should it if they were both happy? And when they finished the assignment for Brock, they'd all return home and he and C.J. would figure out how to make it work. He knew she felt hesitant sometimes because of their life-long friendship; she didn't want to blow it on a fling she told him when he'd scooped her up and carried her to his bed the first time. In between kisses and smoldering looks, he assured her that it would ever happen. They'd always be friends but it'd be more than that.

"So what she like?"

Matt knew what his cousin meant and he wasn't talking. He just smiled and took another long sip of his beer.

"That good…"

"That's between her and me…the details anyway. Now let's go get some lunch and you can tell me about you and Deanna."

Will's smile broadened and Matt knew that she'd hit a chord deep inside of him and that made him feel good. His cousin had been through so much, through Hell and back some might say and he deserved to be happy. If he couldn't get back what he'd lost, he could still experience the best of what life had to offer him. The love of a good woman, the right woman could go a long way to making a guy happy…Matt knew that already.

She looked up at him almost as if she sensed what he'd been thinking as he approached.

"You want some ribs?"

He nodded and she handed him a plate to go scoop some up and with the baked beans and potato salad it made quite a meal.

* * *

><p>The assignment remained out of their minds as the sunlight grew hotter over the boat and Deanna still hadn't caught her fish. She and Will had fun trying while C.J. and Matt decided to go swim by the boat. The water would be warm enough, for their suits and it would be refreshing to take a dip.<p>

In the water, they swam together, keeping their heads above the surface watching each other as they circled. The sun shimmered on the water like diamonds and she thought she saw a pod of dolphins swimming nearby.

While growing up on ranches just outside of Houston, she and Matt had often gone swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, heading down to the beach to spend a week with his father and uncle and cousin in the summer months. Her guardians didn't care that she'd be gone and sometimes they spent a whole month there.

"It's so great out here Houston," she said, while treading water, "I don't think I ever want to leave."

"Me neither," he said, "Maybe we can just quit the business and buy some property near the beach and start a deep fishing tour business."

She gave him a strange look.

"Houston…you think you could handle being on a boat all day?"

"I don't get seasick anymore you notice."

The water felt so damn good, her hair slick against her neck and shoulders as she watched him.

"No you don't…not at all…but sometimes I do wish we could just get away for a while. I love what we do…don't get me wrong but it gets so intense sometimes."

Yeah, when their lives were on the line or one of them was sitting in the waiting room awaiting news on the other being operated on in another room. They'd both been in that place and they'd both been scared to their marrow that this time, the other would leave them and they'd be alone. That they'd finally taken the one client whose case could get them killed.

"Do you want to give it up?"

She thought about it, as much as she could while trying to keep her head above the shallow waves out near the boat.

"No…but I want more in my life…you know the usual things…family mostly. I never really felt like I had one."

Matt swam closer to her then keeping his eyes on her. She knew soon she'd feel his arms around her holding her close as the ocean would allow. Her body anticipated the feel of his own against her and she kissed him for a moment before releasing him.

"I think most people want those things...I know I do."

She smiled at him as they headed back to the boat. He got up first and helped her up and they headed to go towel off. Will and Deanna had obviously headed to one of the cabins and he and C.J. went into the other.

Neither of them spoke as they slipped their hands on each other while their lips met. The water dripped from their hair as their mouths explored one another; she traced the outline of his mouth with her tongue before slipping it between his lips. Their hands frantically tugged at each other's suits until they were lying on the floor forgotten while he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him tightly while they moved onto the bed.

Fell onto it really as she lay on her back, feeling the softness of the mattress beneath her body and the coolness of the shadows against the cabin's walls. He lay on top of her, as she opened her thighs to bring him closer to her, while he propped himself up on his arms.

"Kiss me…"

He smiled before he did just that, his mustache tickling her skin as his mouth tasted hers, hungrily, the salt on her skin tantalizing him along with her musk. She pulled him closer, pressing her fingers into the skin of his back, the muscles flexing beneath them as his lips moved to her jaw line…tracing a path of sensation to her neck. She gripped his body with her knees as she felt him grow hard against her.

"God…I want you so much…"

So did he, as he felt her body yield to his and her knees tighten their hold on his slick body.

"I'm right here…"

Her eyes widened as she felt him join them together, the enormousness of their union leaving her speechless, left to communicate her feelings in other ways.

Afterward, he held her closely to him as she reached for the plush comforter to pull over them while the setting sun cast taller shadows through the slats of the window. She sighed, her face against his bare chest, his heart beating beneath her ear. Quickly at first, now it started to slow down like her own.

Tears stung her eyes and she didn't understand why. The pleasure of their bodies coming together like they had, had shaken her as it had since they first made love. She hadn't expected what had happened when more than their bodies had come together. It had both exhilarated and frightened her.

"How you feeling?"

She smiled at his question and snuggled against him. That she could do even though she found it hard to find the words to tell him. Fancy that, a Harvard trained lawyer being at a loss for words but that's what he did to her when he made some of his…amorous advances.

"I'm good…more than that," she said, "You think Will and Deanna miss us?"

"Nah…I think they're pretty busy themselves…as long as he's happy…"

She moved her face to look at him, her hair framing her face.

"I'm sure they are Houston," she said, "He's got to find his own way back but maybe it's a little less hard when you're not alone."

"What about you C.J…you feeling less alone?"

She tilted her face.

"That's quite a question," she said, "We're together aren't we?"

He sighed, stroking her skin, his fingers feeling so damn good.

"Yeah…does that scare you?"

His question surprised her but she knew it mattered to him. Mattered as much as anything they shared. After all she had been resistant at first to the idea of them becoming lovers. He had to convince her through actions it wasn't a bad idea…and he had succeeded.

"A little Houston…it's so new being with you like this…together. But I like it a lot."

She bit her lip and he smiled at her just before she kissed him, just before she moved over to straddle him.

"You like that cowboy?"

He did what he could to show her just how much he did.

* * *

><p>The four of them ate leftovers for dinner before they headed to shore, the idyllic break from their complicated lives nearing its end. Matt knew that Brock expected him and C.J. to be up bright and early the next morning to make their first move towards launching their operation.<p>

Will had heard from Roy that he'd be flying in and Matt felt resistance again in involving the cousin he had just found again. But Will had been stubborn in his insistence that with his own military training and obvious survival skills, he could be a real asset and finally with Brock's prodding Matt had agreed.

"You ready for tomorrow Cuz?"

Matt looked up from where he had been sitting watching the sunset on the deck, sipping the last beer in the ice chest. C.J. sat next to him, wearing a cotton shirt and cutoffs. She and Matt had showered together and changed before coming back on deck.

"As ready as I'll ever be…"

C.J. glanced at the both of them having her own concerns about the mission ahead. But she had voiced them already and both Matt and Brock had assured her that there was nothing to worry about, that the surveillance operation had been planned and planned again to the final detail.

Nothing would go wrong, they would see to that and they'd have plenty of federal operatives standing by if necessary. Somehow that didn't make the tension leave her body whenever she thought about what they had to do.

"So you picked out your threads for this classy party?"

Matt looked over at C.J. and nodded.

"We're posing as investors," he said, "Business partners, those roles should come easily enough."

Yes indeed, C.J. thought and she knew Will would be the third member of their team. Roy would be a freelancing businessman. They would follow their game plan, keep it flexible so they could change it if necessary and everything would go right on schedule.

But as the future would show, they couldn't be more wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

Matt toted another bag of fertilizer over his shoulder to stack on top of the rest of the new shipment. The delivery truck had arrived and all of them were unloading the large order to fill out the inventory for a weekend sale.

It would run in conjunction with a festival that would be held on the beach, with fireworks later at night. It seemed like this village always came up with excuses to hold parties complete with pyrotechnics but he planned to attend.

Clover asked him twice if he'd go with her and he agreed, thinking a night relaxing at a beach picnic might be what he needed. He'd had a headache after trying to warn C.J. at her house that she was currently being auctioned off by Rodrigo even though he hadn't caught up to her.

Not yet anyway.

But if he went to the party, she would have to as well if only so he could keep an eye on her. She had arrived late to work this morning more subdued but looking good as ever in faded jeans that molded to every inch of her legs and hips and a soft peach shirt with the emblem of the nursery on it. She and Clover had been lining up the seed packets in their rows inside the shop. Starter kits would be next including the ever popular window shelf herbs that would sell like hotcakes at the nursery sale that would run just before everyone headed to the beach.

She caught his eye when she came back out to the truck several times but she moved her eyes quickly away from him. He wondered if his warning this morning sunk in because she really needed to take it seriously. After all, with a body which curved in all the right places, and with long legs and a beautiful face, the bidding to own her would turn fast and furious soon enough.

And then Rodrigo and his men would hunt her down in earnest.

She crossed his path again and kept her eyes down as she stacked a couple of boxes containing starter kits before heading back in the shop. Clover followed on her heels and looked up at Matt.

"God she's been like this all morning," she said, "Must have woken up on the wrong side of bed…or maybe the wrong bed."

Matt bristled at Clover's offhanded suggestion that C.J. had been out with the construction guy or someone else.

He did know that he needed to keep his eyes focused on the scenery around them to look for anything or anyone who didn't belong there.

But the nursery looked like it always did filling up with a busy day of customers.

* * *

><p>C.J. rubbed her shoulders this morning after Matt left. What he told her left her so tense, she'd gone out on a seven mile run to get away from it. She hadn't been running away from him of course but the fear that consumed her at the images he had painted for her about what Rodrigo would do to her if he found her.<p>

As if she hadn't been thinking about that a lot lately…but she couldn't live looking over her shoulders for him. She had given enough energy to him already, and thinking about it just made her close her eyes because she didn't want the images to return again.

Of course she'd never tell him. She'd never tell anyone. Well except for Miranda who she had been seeing twice a week after work. Will had recommended her before she left San Francisco where he'd been transferred to do rehab to get his legs back.

She stacked the starter kits and Clover walked on over to help her.

"So you are going to the beach party?"

C.J. looked up at her.

"There's one every weekend it seems," she said, "but then this is a tourist spot isn't it?"

Clover shrugged.

"I'm going with Matt," she said, "You should come with us. It should be a lot of fun."

C.J. shook her head.

"No really…or you can go with Duke," Clover said, "You know him…he works for the saddle shop and just broke up with his wife."

No, she didn't want a guy on the rebound either…unless.

"I'll think about it," she said, "Do you have his number?"

Because C.J. had seen the guy once, and what she had seen had impressed her. He had been tall, broad shouldered like Matt but carried a heavier muscled frame. He seemed to be attracted to her, asking her out for drinks but she'd demurred that time.

Clover wrote it down and handed it to C.J.

"Give him a call," she said, "He's probably horny as hell right now too so during the fireworks, you can sneak off…"

C.J. thought, not likely but it might be nice to hang out with someone at the party, to keep her mind off of her own problems, to get away from the intrusion of her old life.

Matt had looked over at her while she'd been talking to Clover, wondering what was going on between the two women. He hadn't gone for it with Clover because even though he liked her, his mind was focused on making sure that C.J. didn't wind up back with Rodrigo.

He stacked up more fertilizer and wondered if she'd be going to the festival alone or would she be going with one of the local men. That was going to make it trickier to keep an eye on her to make sure nothing happened…meaning that no one would jump out of the woodwork to kidnap her.

His phone vibrated and putting the bag down, he answered it.

"Hi Stu, what's up?"

"We're doing what we told you," he said, "We're trying to track that covert auction involving C.J.."

"Any developments…?"

"Bidding's at half a million dollars and rising…some people out there have plans for her."

Matt didn't want to think about that, he just wanted to make sure it didn't come to that.

"Rodrigo surfaced yet?"

"Negative…but there was a sighting of his second in command, Milan at a meeting in Miami."

"That must be where his team is holing up," Matt said, "Doing any surveillance there?"

"Well yeah Matt," Stu said, "We do have it covered."

Matt sighed.

"You'd better because one wrong move and it'll be your ass if he gets her."

"That's not going to happen if you bring her back to L.A. to the safe house," Stu reminded him, "how close are you to doing that?"

Matt rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not much, she's not willing to budge," he said, "So I'm trying to keep an eye on her here."

"You can't do it by yourself," Stu said, "You need reinforcements and we just can't spare them."

"I'll do without them," Matt said, "and keep an eye on everything. It's a small town so anytime a stranger shows up in the mix, it's noticed."

"Well you've got your work cut out for you," Stu said, "Keep in touch."

"You too…"

Matt cursed as he closed his phone. What he needed was more reinforcements to protect her especially if anything did go down quickly but he wasn't getting him which meant only he could keep her safe.

A difficult thing to do when she didn't seem to want any man let alone him trying to protect her.

* * *

><p>C.J. sat down and sipped the iced cola carefully, the day had heated up, with more than a hint of humidity and the bugs had begun flying around her. She'd finished the loading and had eaten her lunch so she just sat back and tried to relax. But her nerves danced inside of her and her eyes looked for shadows among the rows of fruit trees.<p>

If Rodrigo caught up to her, she'd run but if he caught her, she knew her window of escape would be very narrow. He'd proven to be very formidable in every area of his business including the nasty parts of it where he didn't pause to point a gun at a traitor and pull the trigger. Not that he wasn't strong enough to snap a man's neck but he left that for special occasions.

But he had his more genteel, suave side that showed his cultural upbringing had offered him some of the finest things in life. The finest parties, restaurants and a degree from one of the top universities in the world…and when he required it, the finest women on his arm and his bed.

But as it turned out she had impressed him too much, with her beauty. He had flirted with her in ways that were flattering at first at the party or would have been if she'd not know how dangerous he was. But she had a role to play as a guest at the party.

So she thought, good, she'd use his attraction to her body to get what she needed from him which was more information and she'd done that quite well. After all, it's not like a woman ever forgot how to flirt.

Matt hadn't been as happy as she thought he'd be when she slipped him the information, documents that she had pilfered and copied and a flash drive that had been encrypted but might provide useful information. She played the role that she had been assigned to play with him at the gala.

But as it turned out, she hadn't been the only one changing it. Rodrigo had his own plans for her as well. He had his own plans for all of them.

She closed her eyes as she remembered, forcing the images back where they belonged, where they'd be as lost to her as she hoped to remain to Rodrigo.

The plant sale at the nursery had been an enormous success and got the celebratory weekend off to a great start. Adela had held the fort and had been very pleased with the revenues they collected while selling off most of the old inventory and a lot of what they had just gotten.

* * *

><p>Matt and C.J. along with Clover had manned the nursery stationed at different venues as hundreds of people including many tourists stopped to check out the plants, trees and everything else including a collection of ceramic pots that had been handmade by a local artist in town.<p>

The sale broke at noon on Saturday so that people could head on down to the beach where the festival and barbecue had just been set up. Matt and Clover had taken off to the beach and C.J. waited for Duke to pick her up. Clover had spent all her time with Matt even during the sales and by the time they left, C.J. had gotten tired of watching her flirt with him endlessly. For all the concern that Matt had expressed about his need to keep an eye on her, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

That was fine with C.J. really because she had planned to put the moves on Duke at some point during the holiday because she needed a man's hands on her under her own terms. Duke was one sexy looking guy, physically imposing enough to look like he could defend himself and yet he'd been very attentive to her since they started meeting up.

He picked her up and handed her a ginger ale that she sipped gratefully during the drive to the beach. She felt grubby all over and her throat parched but between the drink he'd given her and the swim she planned to take in the ocean, she'd be feeling a lot better soon.

Looking at him sideways, she decided a whole lot better.

When they arrived, she didn't see any signs of Matt and Clover there but saw the last trays of all kinds of picnic food being put on the tables, with plenty of barbecue pits being manned by cooks.

She grabbed his hand as they headed towards the sand.

"I want to take a walk."

"Okay, I know a place by the sand dunes…"

She grinned, thinking Duke to be one astute guy when it came to figuring out what she wanted.

"You're safe right?"

She looked over at him.

"Oh yeah…sure…"

He smiled back at her and slipped his arm around her. Right past Matt and Clover who had pulled into the lot just after they did and had also headed to the beach.

"They make an interesting couple," Clover noted.

Matt just frowned, not liking this at all. If she left the beach, how could he ever keep an eye on her?

And how well did she know the guy who had his arm around her now? C.J. had to learn to be careful or she'd be snatched up by one of Rodrigo's men soon enough. He had heard that the trafficker had discretely hired two more experts in tracking to look for her.

"Want to go for a walk?"

Clover looked over at him and shrugged.

"Sure why not…it's a beautiful day don't you think?"

"Yeah sure…"

They started walking not too far behind C.J. and Duke. He didn't want to lose sight of them even as they wove among the dozens of people walking down the beach but after about 200 yards, the crowds began to thin out and by the time he saw the sand dunes in the distance, they were pretty much alone.

Suddenly Clover grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him close to her. She kissed him softly at first and then deepened it, catching him completely by surprise. His hormones heightened his enthusiasm but his professionalism pulled him away.

She frowned at him.

"What's wrong Matt?"

He shook his head.

"Clover I don't think…"

But as he looked around, he could no longer see C.J. or Duke anywhere. Somehow while Clover had grabbed his attention with that kiss, they had slipped out of sight.

Matt continued down the beach with Clover who kept pointing out different sights including sail boats and jetties where men fished. Her chatter didn't bother him but he tried to keep his focus on locating C.J.. Where could she have gone with this Duke character?

What if he wasn't what he appeared to be? What if she'd already been lured into a trap and was on her way back to Rodrigo to complete the auction? It never failed to unnerve him that there were powerful men in the world who bought and sold human flesh including sex slaves.

But it chilled him to the bone that they were auctioning off C.J., with the winner getting to use her however he saw fit, to make large sums of money for his operation or by keeping her for his personal use.

She had just disappeared on the beach because he hadn't been watching her every second. But then he saw her up ahead near a sand dune standing next to Duke who clearly looked attracted to her. Irritation and much more basal emotions filled him at the realization that while he'd been searching for her, she'd slipped away for an interlude with Duke.

Clover looked over at where Duke and C.J. stood by the dune, and then holding hands headed back towards them.

"Wow, I guess they couldn't wait until after the party to get together…"

Matt sighed.

C.J. and Duke approached them and by then, C.J. had her arm slung around Duke's waist.

"We just went on a walk," Duke said, "We're heading back to get some lunch."

Clover smiled.

"So are we…we'll walk back with you."

"C.J., I'll need to talk to you later okay?"

She just looked at him .

"There's nothing to talk about Matt," she said, "I know the score already and I make my own decisions."

He gritted his teeth.

"Still there are a few things we need to discuss."

She just didn't respond to that except to nod her head. There was no putting him off sometimes and he wanted to ram rod this need to watch her closely and keep her safe through her head.

But when she'd needed someone to keep her safe, no one had been there. He hadn't been there and she learned that no one could do that for her.

It was all up to her to do the very best she could to protect herself. But she didn't tell him that because if she did, he wouldn't listen anyway just as he hadn't back then. They reached the party and went their separate ways to get some food but Matt' eyes remained on C.J. and Duke the rest of the day.

Even as he got a text that he needed to call the team because the auction bid for C.J. had just reached $1 million and came from somewhere in Eastern Europe. Probably a private collector but that would mean that Rodrigo would increase his efforts to find her.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo got off the phone, smiling at the fact that the bids for C.J. had crossed the seven figure mark with the most serious offers yet to come. The guy who bid the cool million had a list of underground brothels and party houses throughout Europe.<p>

As long as you use drugs to control her, Rodrigo counseled him that will work well. After all, he knew that'd be a perfect niche for a woman like her.

But other bids would be coming soon including from a French politician who wanted a sub to keep in his basement dungeon and a pair of famous athletes who wanted a woman to share on road trips.

C.J. would go to the highest bidder and as soon as he located her, she'd be heading off to her new life. A fitting end to her, he thought as he poured himself another Vodka and tonic.

* * *

><p>When Clover invited Matt into her house for a nightcap after the celebration, he nodded his head and went inside with her.<p>

"That party was awesome," she said, as she walked to her kitchen to pour them both some Scotch. He glanced at the art deco paintings on the wall and the posh furniture. Clover had an expensive eye for decorating her home.

"Sit on the couch and make yourself comfortable."

He did that and she walked back into the living room with drinks, handing him his glass. He sipped it down while she did the same, sitting next to him on the sofa. Sitting very close to him and leaning slightly against his body while she drank from her glass.

"So what's a guy like you want from a woman anyway?"

She looked at him in the face when she asked that question and he tugged at his shirt. He knew what he wanted and he'd received many such invitations from women he'd just met but as she smiled flirtatiously at him, he prepared his response.

"Clover…you're very pretty and you're a nice woman…"

She put her glass down, obviously reading what came next.

"But…and I hear that but, you're not in to me right?"

He paused, watching the disappointment flash on her face right before she hid it with a wide smile.

"Well that's okay…we don't have to be boyfriend, girlfriend or anything serious but it doesn't mean we can't have some fun."

He just looked at her and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Clover but I've just gotten out of a relationship with someone else."

She looked at him for a long moment.

"With her right," he said, "the woman who went out and probably went home with some other guy tonight."

"That might be but what I've figured out about myself is that I'm not interested in anything casual."

She digested that and then she nodded.

"Well that's noble of you," he said, "Now I like C.J. just fine but she seems to want to be on the opposite end of the state from you."

He picked up his Scotch and sipped it again.

"It's complicated."

"I can see that…but why bother with complications?"

Matt couldn't answer that but continued to sip his Scotch, the only one he'd be drinking on her sofa before heading back home to try to figure out an answer to her question.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo checked the figures on the auction, happy that another bidder had entered into the fray bumping up the price on C.J. to over $1million. He knew already she was worth every penny.<p>

The man had been from Brazil, running a string of brothels near Rio and the capitol, Brasilia.

"I need some fresh whores," he explained, "for some of my special clients."

Rodrigo knew that was code for those who had a more sadistic bent towards women. Those who thrived on dominance and pain, two elements C.J. definitely needed in her future.

"Oh this one loves it when a strong man controls her," he said, "It makes her beg for it."

"Good then…I have a couple of customers who'd like to try her out," he said, "How fast can you ship the merchandise after the auction?"

"A couple of days," Rodrigo said, "I have to prepare her for the transition to departure."

"Ah yes of course, as long as you don't mark her," the man said, "and she's everything you promised."

Rodrigo smiled.

"Oh she's all that and more. But the bidding's just getting started so if you want her in your stable, you'd better be prepared to bid much more."

He clicked off the phone and thought that the auction had been going very well so far, the bids rolling in and so would the money be when he approved the final sale.

He knew what would make it even more perfect is if he could find her boyfriend and put him in chains to if only so he could witness his plans for C.J…

Then after C.J. was dragged away to be shipped to her new home, Rodrigo could end Matt' life with one bullet to the head and his problems would be solved.

* * *

><p>C.J. felt her muscles aching in the morning while she went to the grocery store to get some food to stock in her cabinets and refrigerator. She didn't have to work today so she thought she might get some shopping done and then head to do some hiking in the nearby foothills.<p>

There were some pretty challenging dirt trails that wound through the terrain chock full of redwood trees and plenty of other lush plants including ferns and horsetails. It would do her good to get some vigorous exercise and be surrounded by nature so she could do some serious thinking.

She had the store for some food shopping first.

She arrived in the produce section and added to her cart there. She saw Clover by herself looking at peaches dressed in overalls and a tee-shirt underneath which surprised her because she thought she'd still be in the sack with Matt who after all loved to extend lovemaking sessions in the late morning hours. She should at least be crawling right now.

But here she was shopping, unless she'd ducked out to head to the store while he slept off their last round.

"Hey I didn't see you," Clover said looking up suddenly.

C.J. headed towards her.

"I'm just hitting the store before I do some hiking."

Clover flipped her hair back.

"Yeah I thought about doing that but I'm too tired from the festivities and well, Matt had to leave early to do something so I thought it'd be a good time to stock up."

C.J. tried not to react to that news. So Matt hadn't stayed with Clover but had gone off to do other things? Probably to get more information on where Rodrigo was hiding out as he plotted against them or maybe they'd run into some of his hired men. Hopefully not anywhere near here.

"That was some party last night," Clover said, "I see you hit it off with Duke."

C.J. shrugged.

"We hung out together for a while," she said, "He's an interesting guy."

Clover put some peaches in a bag.

"Yeah, he's made his way through the female population since he's been back but he's got a more serious side."

"He's pretty lively but I kept it simple for the first date."

Clover nodded.

"He's a pretty patient guy up to a point."

C.J. shrugged and reached for some plums.

"Maybe we could double up, "Clover suggested, "You and Duke and me and Matt…go do dinner or drinks."

C.J. didn't think so. It would prove much too volatile and she didn't want to rehash her history in front of Clover to explain why. So she just looked noncommittal.

"I don't know how he'd feel about that," she said, "We get along now but we didn't exactly part on the best of terms."

"Well you get along enough for dinner and drinks," Clover said, "I mean you work together every day."

Yeah, and they wind up wanting to kill each other more often than not ,but Clover was probably right in that they could probably survive spending some casual time together especially if they weren't alone.

"Okay I'll think about it but I don't know if I'll be seeing Duke anymore."

Clover waved a hand.

"Then you can bring someone else," she said, "See you later."

C.J. thought about the invite and realized not for the first time that most of the people in the village didn't know how complicated her life had been, didn't know that she'd been out to bust a major drug trafficker or that she'd nearly paid the highest price.

They didn't know that she was in that man's crosshairs right now. Better for no one but she and Matt to know and another secret they would share and keep from those around them. She hated being bound to him in that way since they'd split up in a way that would never be mended.

She left the store after paying for her groceries and went home to unpack them before making herself an easy lunch of a sandwich, apple and some water to take with her on her hike.

She got into her car and drove up to the parking lot before getting out and doing some stretches before hiking. Her wardrobe had remained simple, with cutoff denim shorts, a tee-shirt and a light jacket wrapped around her waist. She had her lunch and some basic first aid in a knapsack and after looking around her into the empty lot, she took off towards the nearest trail.

As she came up the first hill and saw the scenery out to the ocean spread out before her, she knew she'd come to the right place.

* * *

><p>Matt woke up after he crashed in his own bed after leaving Clover's, unable to spend the night there. He'd made some calls, checked out information on his computer but nothing had emerged about Rodrigo and his plan of attack except that he'd put C.J. up for auction which was old news. What the lowlife didn't know was that he'd never let him get away with his plans.<p>

No, Rodrigo was not getting his hands on her, he'd make sure of that and do whatever he needed to do to keep her safe. Not that she appreciated his efforts but tough, he had a job to do even if she weren't his lover anymore.

He sighed when he thought of last night with Clover when he'd rejected her invitation, but thoughts of C.J. and her luscious body spilled into his actions. It had been her full lips that he'd kissed and her smooth skin that smelled of vanilla and strawberries that he'd stroked.

He couldn't think about what was past but right now he needed some fresh air so he changed into some casual clothes and decided to take off and do some serious running up and down the mountain trails, hoping he'd be so exhausted that every other thought including about C.J. wouldn't linger on his mind.

She loved looking at the ocean no matter where she stood. Whether it had been atop a rocky cliff that oversaw a tropical lagoon or up on top of a wooded mountain that allowed her to look out into the water breaking on a sandy beach. She had climbed quickly up the last few winding switchbacks so that when she reached the top, she had to catch her breath.

Not too long ago she had climbed up a steep flight of stairs to meet the man she had thought she had loved at the top so they could tuck themselves behind a sheet of rock while looking out across the expansive sea to catch the sunset. They had held each other close, their lips brushing at first before she really started to taste him. She'd been wearing a swim suit covered by a thin robe that tie loosely in front and a scarf in her hair while he'd been wearing shorts and a tee-shirt.

One that she had pulled off of him at some point while exploring his mouth with her tongue…thinking god, how much she'd wanted him after they had spent another day with Brock and Enrique planning the surveillance operation.

After she'd traced every inch of his mouth with her tongue, he'd pressed her against the wall and they'd fumbled with each other's clothing until he lifted her slightly off the ground and started kissing her more passionately She had kissed him back when she felt like crying out overwhelmed by the feelings that rushed through her.

She bent over to catch her breath when she caught a stitch and then sipped from her water bottle. Her guard hadn't lowered but she felt like she'd traveled the mountain trails alone. Her thoughts had wandered back to last night at the beach with Duke. It'd been a nice reprieve from her life but she didn't think she'd be seeing him again soon.

There'd be other men of course, but none long enough for her to get close to them, to weaken in her resolve to never open her heart up to anyone again. When she checked out the clear sky resting onto of the restless ocean, she thought it beautiful and in a way it brought some peace. She'd loved the village when she had arrived and had warmed to it in ways since that she hadn't anticipated. It had seemed the perfect place to fit in and to hide from anyone who might come looking for her.

Only Matt had found her anyway and had disrupted that peace. He had wanted her to return with him to L.A. but when she refused, he'd become a fixture here. Even working alongside her at the nursery, which drove her nuts, though not enough to bolt.

It'd been like when they worked together before only without the high stakes. He'd found himself a woman to share his bed in Clover who would keep him happy for a while.

C.J. didn't understand why that knowledge irritated her. It shouldn't because whatever she had once felt for him had died.

It had been taken from her.

* * *

><p>Matt hiked up the trail pausing to sip his water a couple of times. The day had turned hot with just enough humidity in the air carried by the breeze from the ocean. His muscles burned from the steep hike but he'd enjoyed the workout.<p>

Clover had called him to ask him to come over for dinner and he considered it. But he didn't want her to have any misunderstandings that they would have any kind of meaningful relationship outside of friendship. He wasn't looking for anything else.

He pushed the pace even harder up the mountain as the trail wound around where it had been carved by time.

Nearing the top, he whipped his shirt off to wipe his face with it and then sipping his water again. The birds sang in the trees and he heard animals scurrying around in the brush.

Damn, it was so peaceful here, a guy could almost relax and he couldn't afford that. If he did it at the wrong moment, then he could lose C.J. to Rodrigo's men who were out looking for her.

He walked up the bend and there he saw her looking out into the horizon her back to him.

"C.J.…."

She turned around to look at him.

"Houston?"

Then she put her hands on her hips as if she might believe he'd followed her.

"Are you keeping tabs on me?"

He shook his head.

"No, not now," he said, "I came here to get a workout."

She relaxed and smiled at him.

"Me too, and to check out the gorgeous scenery," she said, "It's so beautiful here."

"Yes it is…but you can't leave yourself exposed like this…"

"I can handle myself."

He knew the edge in her voice had been because of him. She hadn't said that but she didn't need to do that. Well tough, there was no way in hell he'd be walking away from her and exposing her to what Rodrigo had planned. She could hate him all she wanted but he'd never do that.

"C.J., don't even ask."

She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself while looking at him.

"I wouldn't…I know why you came here. It's just not easy you know?"

So she had decided not to rip off his head today, he noticed but he knew she hadn't forgiven him.

"It's not for me either."

She leaned against a tree and folded her arms.

"I can't go back and you know why."

He stepped closer to her.

"I know but if Rodrigo finds you, you'll know what he'll do."

She nodded. She knew about the auction that took place and that if Rodrigo found her, he'd hand her off to whoever bid the highest for her body. Then she'd be dragged away to work as someone's whore with no escape. The nausea that welled up when she imagined that threatened to overwhelm her.

"I'm never going to let that happen C.J.."

She heard the firm resolve in his voice and she trusted it, even though she didn't trust him in other ways. He'd always been good at protecting her physically even if she needed protection from him for her heart.

"I believe you but I've got my life to live and you're not a part of it."

His jaw clenched.

"You mean like Duke."

"I mean at all," she said, "I can't forget that you thought I was responsible for what happened to Will and what you said to me."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I just want you to be safe," he said, "even if that includes from me."

She heard what sounded like resignation in his voice and she dropped what she planned to say. She just bowed her head looking at her hands.

"Matt, there's just so much you don't know about me at all," she said, "or what happened."

She thought he might protest and not believe any differently about her than how he'd already chosen. But his eyes sought out hers.

"Then why don't you tell me?"

His voice had softened but her heart had hardened again. There would be no way she'd ever share that with him. In many ways, it was just safer for him to be left in the dark than to know what had really happened to her.

"I can't…maybe I should just go."

She started to walk past him but he reached out and grabbed her arm, holding her fast.


	9. Chapter 9

She turned to look at Matt.

"Let me go…"

But he held fast to her arm just looking at her in that penetrating way he had, the way that she both loved and hated.

Right now she didn't know what to feel, she just wanted him to release her arm.

"I'm not kidding Houston," she said, "You don't release my arm and I'll…"

"Do what C.J.," he said, "You know if I really wanted to, I could grab hold of you, incapacitate you and take you wherever I wanted."

She just stared at him, not believing his attitude.

"How do you know I wouldn't have a car waiting," he said, "to take you away from here and to a plane waiting at the nearest airstrip?"

"Houston…let me go…"

That made his grip tighten, and his tone become more charged.

"C.J., why are you so careless," he said, "This is your life you're playing with…they get you on that plane and how long do you think you'll last after that?"

She didn't speak; she just hoped he'd relax his hold so she could get away from him. He had the greater physical strength over here and the speed and knew how to use both against anyone, including her.

"These guys are rough customers C.J.," he said, "What are you going to do when they show up here?"

She swallowed, her throat feeling dry. Then she started to struggle but he deflected her attempts to break free and then pushed her up against the rock slab. Its rough edges dug into her back, while his body in front of her kept her trapped. Close enough for him to pick up that her heart beat had quickened and her muscles had tensed.

"C.J.…you need to start acting smart," he said, "or I won't be able to protect you from him."

"I didn't ask for that Houston. I didn't ask you to come up and find me here."

He sighed looking into her defiant eyes.

"What if I were Rodrigo," he said, "Do you really think he's going to wait until you ask to come looking for you?"

She bit her tongue knowing that arguing against him would only prolong him standing in her face.

"You think you're going to be able to save yourself from him alone?"

She flinched at his choice of words. If only he knew the truth, but he hadn't even tried to listen so he'd assumed the worst. How quickly he had jumped to the conclusion that she had been happily seduced by the trafficker on his island. She wouldn't bother him with the facts now; he probably wouldn't believe her at this point anyway.

"Just let me go Houston."

He leaned even closer to her, taking in the scent of her honeysuckle shampoo that she'd favored.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you."

She softened but she didn't show him that.

"Nothing's going to happen," she said, "I'm going to be fine."

That didn't please him at all.

"What's it going to take before you realize that he's serious about making you pay for what you did," Matt said, "What we all did when we brought his operation down."

She fought against him again. God, he acted like this was all so black and white. As if there were any good guys in this whole mess. No, the so-called good guys had sold her out so quickly, and Matt had very little to say about that.

He really needed to just go to hell and leave her alone. He could just jump off the ridge as far as she was concerned.

"I didn't do anything wrong and I'm not responsible for what happened," she said, "but I'm done explaining that to you or anyone else. Now if you don't let me go, I'm going to hit you where it really hurts."

"C.J. you wouldn't…"

She just stared at him.

"Oh try me…"

And just when she thought he might, he did the unexpected. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close to him, and his mouth swept over hers in powerful possession. Oh, damn she hadn't seen that coming as his lips caressed hers, as they overpowered her. He pressed her against the rocky face and she felt his body against, his hardness against her softness.

"Houston…"

He placed his hands on her body as if he owned it while kissing her mouth, the corners of her lips before he thrust his tongue inside her mouth, sending shivers through her body. Her hands gripped him back, his shoulders flexing beneath them.

He wasn't gentle, he wasn't tender, and he was relentless in his touch. The rock dug into her back, causing it to sting but she didn't care as he held her tightly, his lips exploring her mouth.

The force of his want shook her to her core and she felt so many emotions swirling inside of her as the sensations rocked her body. She wanted to tear his clothing off, to run her hands over the hotness of his bare skin and she wanted him then as much as he wanted her. But their clothes stood between them because neither could take their hands off of each other enough to disrobe.

"Oh god…you feel so sweet…"

"I...don't stop…if you do…"

"I'm not stopping…"

She sighed as his lips tore their way from her mouth down her neck, and his teeth tugged at the shirt that covered her breasts until he sucked a nipple and the way her shirt separated it from his mouth tormented her. She felt him spread her thighs apart and push even closer to her.

Damn if he didn't take her…she'd go crazy.

"C.J.…"

He'd been kissing her fervently when he said it but suddenly she went cold in his embrace. Her body stiffened and her hands no longer encouraged his attentions, they began pushing against his chest. Because what flashed suddenly inside of her head, she couldn't control or stop…the images which grabbed hold of her and took her someplace else were relentless.

"Get the fuck off of me Houston…"

He just stared at her.

"What…C.J. what's going on with you?"

She kept pushing against the hardness of his chest and finally he released his hands off of her. She felt the absence of his touch keenly but now she'd gotten too damn pissed off to care…anger she could deal with, the rest of what swam inside of her she couldn't.

He remained agitated, running his hand through his hair and remaining close to her, close without touching.

"What's the matter with you?"

She struggled to return her breathing back to normal.

"You didn't use to be like this."

Oh she wanted to slap him then. Her fingers itched but she just glared at him.

"I've never been a tease," she said, "certainly not with you."

"Hey I didn't call you one," he said, "I just don't get why you stopped."

She looked down at her feet, anything to avoid the way his eyes penetrated her face with an intensity born of so many things. She still felt him looking at her, his face lined with questions.

"Then what just happened right now and why did you stop?"

She felt sadness inside her then even through her anger and she looked away at him so he wouldn't see that part of her. She'd never survive if he did because he'd put part of it there.

"I can't tell you why…I don't know."

Matt' eyes turned hard, in a way she had grown used to after that last investigation.

"What are you not telling me…why did you run away?"

She closed her eyes a moment and then tried to draw some more deep breaths.

"I'm not running away," she said, "I just needed some time to figure things out."

That made his body tense up even more but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything except getting away. Then her voice got really quiet.

"Just let me do that…Let it be."

His expression changed and she felt herself break just a little bit.

"Now just leave me alone Houston," she said, "Let me go because I can't do this anymore."

She started to push him away and he relented. She looked so beautiful even when she was pissed off at him. Then she turned around to face him again.

"You don't know anything about what happened that night," she said, "and I don't know if it would change anything if you did. So why don't we just agree to go on with our lives the best we can."

He sighed.

"C.J., you made your choices just like I did and we're going to have to live with them."

She nodded at that.

"Oh I do believe me; I live with them every day."

* * *

><p>She walked away from him and started heading down the trail alone while he watched before going back to the edge of the cliff to look out into the expanse of the ocean. He knew better than to follow her. He'd wait a while longer until she'd gotten as far away as she needed from him to breathe again.<p>

But he'd been troubled by what just happened, and the way she'd reacted. He'd been so sure he'd known what had gone on with her but could he have been wrong? No, he hadn't been and if he softened on what she had done, he be drawn back into the heartbreak she wove into what had been their relationship.

And he just couldn't afford to do that no matter how much he felt her pull away from him.

C.J. hadn't known what to do after her run in with Matt up on the ridge. It hadn't taken them long to wind up wrapped up in each other's arms, and if she hadn't suddenly felt numb…as if the feelings she experienced had evaporated. No she didn't really want to talk about that.

She ran her hands through her hair to fix it and she straightened out her clothes, to remove any trace to remind her what had happened. That she had wanted him so badly that she'd forgotten to be afraid of him.

At the bottom, she focused on getting on home, not wanting to see him again, not while her body still recovered from being so close to him.

When she reached her bungalow, she poured herself some iced tea and headed to sit on her porch while the cool ocean breeze caressed her skin. The sun had tempered its heat today and it had been quite pleasant. But her body still shivered from what had happened.

She doubted it had as much effect on him. For her, it'd be so easy to engage in a passionate interlude living only for the moment and forgetting everything else including their complicated history. But then the memories had hit her as soon as she had felt herself relax with him, surrendering to what her body wanted. Once that happened, everything inside of her had just stopped and she felt the chill permeate where the warmth had been.

Then she couldn't get away from him fast enough.

She sipped her tea as she thought that she needed to move on from what she had felt for him. It'd be easier to do that and build a new life for herself if he hadn't followed her up here.

If he'd just left her alone…

Her phone which she brought out with her rang and she picked it up. She heard Clover's voice quickly enough.

"C.J., you there…?"

"Of course I am," she said, "I answered the phone."

"Great…I hate to ask you this but I'm supposed to be manning the sales booth for the nursery at the open market but something came up suddenly…can you sub for me?"

C.J. thought about it. She'd planned to kick back the rest of the day in her porch swing with some iced tea and maybe some pizza later on.

"I wouldn't ask but it's very important," Clover said, "I'll make it up to you."

C.J. sighed, and decided it'd only be a few hours and she could have the pizza delivered there.

"Okay…I'll be down there in an hour okay?"

"Thanks…any time you need anything, just ask."

"I'll remember that…have fun."

She clicked off her phone and got up from the swing to head back inside to get ready to go to work. At least she'd be getting paid overtime and the park where they held the open market was very scenic. And oh wait, Duke might be there showing off some of his ironware designs.

This might work especially if he was up to drinks afterward. She remembered what she said to herself about not wanting to go out with the same guy twice but after this morning, she needed some relaxation, the kind that only a hunk of a man could offer.

Now there was a plan, she thought as she went to find her work clothes.

* * *

><p>Clover looked at Matt and smiled.<p>

"She's subbing in for me so we have all afternoon together."

They were already sitting at the table in the diner eating lunch, before heading out to make a special delivery for the nursery.

The waitress brought back bottles of beer for both of them with a smile and Clover had flipped the tab off on her own to drink it.

"I felt bad asking her to do that."

"You mean sub for you," Matt asked, "If she didn't want to do it, she would have told you so."

Clover wrinkled her forehead.

"You seem to know her pretty well," she said, "I know you went together but that's all over with isn't it?"

He took a long sip of beer before answering her.

"It's over. We have different beliefs about certain things and they got in the way of our relationship."

That seemed the easiest way to put up what had split them up. No one needed to know what really happened except for those investigating their covert operation, and what followed.

"That's cool…oh I don't mean I'm happy about it but some relationships aren't meant to work out."

"So you want to go to the concert at the park later…I mean as a friend asking a friend to join her?"

He looked up at her.

"Who's playing?"

"Just some local talent," she said, "Buzz and his guys, but they're pretty good at rhythm and blues."

Matt wondered if he'd see C.J. there but figured she wouldn't want to see him.

"All right," he said, "We can finish our errand and then head on over there."

She smiled at him, obviously in agreement.

"That leaves us plenty of time to finish up here…"

She smiled at them as the waitress brought them their orders.

* * *

><p>C.J. had arrived at the booth and had relieved Clooney who had to head off to meet some cousins at a mall in the next town. She settled in her chair surrounded by some of their potted plants and small trees. Business had been quick all day, Clooney informed her before leaving and sure enough, a small group of people soon milled around some of the dwarf fruit trees on display.<p>

But after the first hour, the traffic had slowed down and she sat there with a bottle of cola that someone had given her just watching the market. She had hoped to be busy enough so that she wouldn't be ruminating over this morning but her mind kept wandering back to what it'd been like to feel his hands on her again. If they had just stuck to getting what they both wanted and not talking then maybe…but no, it never would have worked because he hadn't forgiven her.

And she hadn't either.

She had come so close to telling him the truth of what had really happened but she had stopped herself. When she'd tried before, he'd cut her off angrily and she had just given up. If only he could put aside his anger and listen to what she had to say.

"Excuse me, do you have any plum trees?"

She looked up and saw Miranda looking at her, dressed in a denim dress and a necklace of tiny shells around her neck.

"Sure…they're next to the bougainvillea starter kits."

She watched as Miranda examined the trees more closely and she remembered the woman telling her she had just gotten her MSW from a university in L.A. She'd moved back to town after renovating her family's old Victorian house and had moved in with a couple of large dogs and horses in the barn out back.

"They're really great looking," Miranda noted, "I tried to save the couple that are in the orchard but they didn't make it."

"They're on sale if you're interested," C.J. said, "and they come from good stock."

Miranda nodded.

"I've been trying this gardening thing," she said, "but I like making jams and jellies with my own fruit. It's good for stress reduction."

C.J. tilted her head.

"I suppose so," she said, "You're the expert."

Miranda smiled.

"So how are things going with you today?"

It'd been a couple days since their last appointment when they'd been working through some issues. Miranda knew more about what had been going on with her than anyone else but it seemed less complicated to talk about things with a stranger than someone she loved.

"Pretty good…you know it's just been harder since Houston showed up."

"Ah yes…he's obviously a trigger for you but he seems to be concerned about you," Miranda said, "C.J. you've got a lot to work through…you know that goes part and parcel with what you're working through."

C.J. digested all that and a thought came to her suddenly and she wanted to say something before she stifled it.

"I know but when I see him…all these emotions just take control and I can't make sense of any of them let alone stop them."

"Well maybe they're not there to be stopped. Emotions are not good or bad like we've discussed, it's all in how we deal with them."

C.J. nodded again and Miranda made her purchase and arranged for a pickup the following day. After she left, C.J. thought what she said made a lot of sense…she picked up her cola and took a long sip.

She hoped that she'd taken a big step in the right direction towards her future even as her past threatened to catch up with her.

If Rodrigo really had come looking for her.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo sat in the office suite waiting for his hired men to report on their progress on hunting for that traitorous bitch C.J.. She'd managed somehow to elude his dragnet out looking for her.<p>

Even his moles within a couple federal agencies reported back to him that no one could find her after her disappearance. Damn, that frustrated him because they should have caught her by now and brought her back to him in time to dress her up and put her on display for those bidding on her auction. He had photos of her that had been taken while she'd been at the party but nothing substituted for the real thing when it came to the buying and selling of whores.

Some of the customers had asked about when she'd be able to be available for examination to help them determine their high bids but he'd just tell them to be patient that the merchandise was currently in transit. That salesmanship lie would soon become true and whoever paid the highest for her would be most satisfied with his purchase.

But he wondered if he needed to hire more men to widen the search because there had been no sign of her anywhere. If only she'd known how close she'd come to being captured him just before she had taken off. Two men he had hired were being briefed by one of his moles in the FBI on how to best grab her when she'd just vanished one night.

Soon enough her lover Matt had left town probably to search for her but he'd lost the men tailing him pretty quickly. He hadn't surfaced either but Rodrigo bet that he'd caught up to C.J. not long after he disappeared and that they were together. But not for long…

The phone rang and he picked it up. The cell phone set up for him by one of his electronic experts worked like a charm.

"So did you find them?"

"Negative…the trail's been cold but we'll pick it up," the man said, "They can't stay hidden forever."

Rodrigo sighed.

"Don't underestimate Matt, after how quickly he dropped you."

"We thought we'd have him."

"You were wrong and with him protecting the woman, it'll be much harder getting her."

The guy he hired gave him assurances that neither he nor his team would fail. Rodrigo didn't trust them and decided to hire another team of hit men to serve as back up. He hadn't been convinced that Matt and C.J. had even left California. Maybe the newly hired team could focus there, traveling and searching the length of the state. Leaving no stone unturned, no road untraveled before they'd be found.

"I'm increasing the bonus," he said, "to $300,000 to the team who brings them to me alive first."

That piqued the interest of the man on the phone.

"That's generous of you."

"It's not altruism, it getting results as quickly as possible," Rodrigo said, "The woman is a million dollar whore and I need her back in my custody before the auction ends."

The man agreed to have his team even harder before Rodrigo clicked off his phone. He'd have to get on the phone with Milan to get an update on the auction.

C.J. spread out a blanket she had brought to the park to sit on while listening to the concert. She'd bought a supper box before she followed the crowd milling into the venue where the summer concerts were being held. Working the booth had kept her quite busy and she'd been relieved when the sun began to set and the air to cool a little bit as vendors began dismantling their booths.

She had thought about the appointment she had made with Miranda and while it had taken her a moment to find the words, she felt that a load had been lifted off her when she had said them. Miranda had seemed very nice and like she'd be a good listener, but she still wondered if she were ready to talk about what happened.

"Hey you sitting alone?"

She looked up and saw Duke standing there carrying his own box. She smiled at him.

"Not anymore…come sit with me."

He did that and she made some room for him on the blanket.

"Great evening for a concert…"

"Yeah, I heard the band is great."

Duke took out a bottle of iced tea and popped off the lid.

"I used to work with the drummer," he said, "when we were fixing up old sailboats."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Really you used to sail?"

"Still do, got myself a boat," he said, "she's old but I fixed her up myself."

She pulled out her own iced tea.

"Sounds nice," she said, "I used to go sailing with my business…this guy I used to work with and we used to go out to Catalina."

He furrowed his brow.

"Oh so you're from L.A. then."

"Originally but it just got to be too big of a city for me," she said, "and I needed something slower paced."

He chuckled.

"You'll definitely find that up here," he said, "It's a whole different lifestyle."

She couldn't argue with that and she didn't mind that he'd come and sat with her for the concert.

"I don't know how long I'll be here," she said, "Might just be for the summer."

"Why…you a nomad?"

She thought about that and it seemed apt after all that had happened but she became more restless when she felt like running away. Like when Matt had first arrived and then told her he had gotten a job in the nursery. She had almost bolted then.

But she'd stayed and they had somehow managed not to drive each other crazy at least not until he kissed her on the ridge…damn her lips still felt where he'd probed them with his own mouth.

"Nah, I just am in a traveling mood sometimes," she said, "and I'm having a good time with it."

He nodded.

"Then that's what counts," he said, "but some day you'll find a place where you'll want to settle down and there'll be a guy."

She felt a pang inside of her and then she shook her head.

"I don't think so Duke," she said, "I think that part of my life is over."

His eyebrows rose and he looked taken aback.

"You don't mean that," he said, "You've got a lot inside of you C.J.…damn you were almost so sweet the other night."

She felt her skin flush, not really wanting to get into that almost interlude.

"Duke… I don't think… I know what you want," she said, "but I don't know if I can go down that road again."

He looked at her.

"What road…we're just two adults neither with anyone else who were having a good time together…damn good time."

She had to smile at that because she'd enjoyed spending time with him but her body remained marked by so much she couldn't tell him.

Duke moved closer to her suddenly just as the concert was set to begin, and she knew he wanted to kiss her.

She wished she'd wanted that too.

* * *

><p>Clover had been trying to cuddle with Matt on her blanket but he'd kept her at arm's length.<p>

The music had started and Matt had to admit that the band had a lot of talent. He'd begun to enjoy it and the summer evening.

He'd tried to put aside what had happened with C.J. this morning. He'd ached after she'd pulled away from him. She'd sighed when he pinned her against the rocky face and he felt her wanting to open her legs for him, the need had been etched on her face.

"This is so awesome," Clover said, "but I think I'm going to try those smoothies at the stand over there."

Matt looked over and saw a line forming there.

"I'll go get it," he said, "Why don't you wait here?"

She smiled and nodded and he got up to head in that direction. The memories that had flashed inside his head left him feeling edgy.

He walked through the crowd and worked his way up to the line outside the booth. He stood in the back and then his eyes widened as he saw C.J. approach him.

"What are you doing here," he asked.

She gave him a direct look.

"Going to a concert just like you," she said, "Did you come with Clover?"

He nodded.

"I met Duke here and we thought we might try the mango melon…smoothie."

"I'm getting one for Clover," he said, "About this morning…"

She put her hand up.

"Houston, I don't want to talk about it," she said, "I'm not going down this road again with you."

He sighed.

"I'm sorry…I don't know why I said those things this morning."

"Because everything that you do or say to me is all about what happened in that assignment," she said, "but I'm not into that. I just want to move forward."

"I do too," he said, "but while he's out there neither of us can do that."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, knowing that to be the truth. Matt had come all the way up here believing he needed to protect her. But the truth was, a part of her felt she needed to protect herself from him.

"Matt, we can't do what we did this morning," she said, "I can't pretend that what you said to me never happened."

"They were just words C.J.…"

She shook her head at him.

"They were much more than that," she said, "You were wrong too and it's not even worth telling you why."

He frowned.

"Wrong about what, what went wrong in that operation?"

She tried to remain calm.

"No, by assuming that was all that's been happening," she said, "and that you know everything to know about what happened with Rodrigo and the rest of them."

"C.J...Will's in a wheel chair now because of the decisions you and I made."

She put her hands up.

"Enough…I don't want to talk about this anymore," she said "Just drop it."

He looked at her a long time and then he nodded.

"Fine…but do you think he's going to just drop it?"

He turned away from her because only two people stood in front of him on line and neither of them said anything else.

Both lost in their own versions of the truth.


	10. Chapter 10

When they walked up the winding stairs that led to the princely manor, he gazed at the woman walking beside him.

Thinking that he'd never seen anyone who looked as beautiful as she did now, dressed in a black dress that hugged her figure and showed off her muscular arms with spaghetti straps. Her hair had been curled and held off of her face with elegant clips and her eyes lit up when she caught him looking at her.

When Matt had first seen C.J. in that dress, he'd wanted to charm her right out of it and onto the bed but they had the assignment ahead of them to do and any passionate interlude between them would have to wait. Still, he complimented her on how she looked and she smiled, color flushing her cheeks as she thanked him. He looked quite fine in his black tux even though he loathed the tie and allowed her to fix it for him while they ran over the game plan once again. You could never be too careful in these types of surveillance operations. They were dressed to play the part of guests but once inside the main estate, they had a job to do and the burden was mostly on C.J. He would keep attention off of her while he and Will gained information on those in attendance.

She turned towards him and fiddled with his bow tie again while he tried not to fidget. The scent of her perfume wafted to him and the brush of her hands against the skin on his neck.

"C.J…"

"Houston stay still and let me do this…you're really not being easy you know."

He waggled his brows at her.

"I'm easy enough in other ways."

Her mouth broke into a smile.

"Yes that's true…and we can talk about that after we're done here."

It wasn't supposed to be that difficult an assignment. The two of them had been through much harder jobs, including surveillance operations. But this one involved a federal agency as a client which made it much different. Matt felt unease that he could only take charge for part of the strategic planning but he figured he owed Brock. The door opened and what looked like a butler looked at them.

Matt reached into his jacket and provided his invite into the party and the man nodded and let them inside the entry hall which appeared grandly decorated. They had expected nothing less and their precursory examination was to look for vantage points and Matt spotted a couple familiar faces of what he knew to be other operatives. A man walked up to him who looked of new money.

Matt stuck out his hand and smiled.

"You must be Carlton Rochester…nice to finally meet you."

Carlton smiled and nodded.

"And I've heard a lot about you and your corporation," he said, "I do believe you have an electronics firm we might be interested in acquiring."

Matt chuckled.

"Right to the point, I like that. We can discuss business in a little while" he said, "I'd love to show my partner your impressive setup."

Carlton nodded.

"Sure…just help yourself to some refreshments," he said, "And have a nice time."

Matt and C.J. watched him leave and then he placed a hand on her lower back and led her into the main room where he saw other wealthy looking men with their dates, the men and women having segregated themselves in opposite groups. Matt knew the men would head off to the library to smoke cigars, drink sherry and discuss business while the women would be left to amuse themselves in the opulent mansion. That would give C.J. plenty of opportunity to act, to work her way to the office section where Carlton did most of his business while at home. His wife had died six months earlier and these days, he didn't head into his corporate headquarters much, nestled in the Mexican Rivera.

C.J. smiled at Matt.

"You go and have a good time," she said, "I'll just look around a bit."

He gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Just be careful okay?"

She touched his face.

"Aren't I always?"

And then she left him.

Matt ran into Will and Roy who were already sitting and smoking cigars around a table with some of the other businessmen who specialized in electronics. They looked up at Matt with some interest. Will leaned over towards Matt.

"I don't see him do you?"

Meaning that it didn't appear that Rodrigo or his entourage had arrived yet, but then he'd heard that Rodrigo didn't arrive on time to social galas, which meant that he likely wasn't serious about doing business or to put up a new factory in Mexico. His home base had been further south in Venezuela and he'd flown up in his Lear landing on a nearby airstrip so they knew from documents filed with the aviation division that he was in the vicinity.

"He'll be here…but will he be on his best behavior?"

Will sighed, sipping the sherry that he had refilled.

"I hope so…just want this to be nice and smooth."

So did Matt but his neck prickled in anticipation that it might prove to be anything but…then again he trusted Brock and his men to look after the operation from their vantage points.

One of the men looked over at Matt.

"You interested in doing any business?"

Matt looked over at Will and then across at Roy who sipped from his sherry quietly.

"I'm thinking about it," he said, "but I came down here to get away from the office and enjoy the scenery."

One of the men smiled.

"Yes it's very nice…especially this time of year," he said, "Lots of things to do and to see."

Will spoke to the men around the table after putting his glass down.

"Why don't we forget about business and talk about what's really important," he said, "Fast women and even faster cars."

Matt just glanced over bemused at his cousin but it might not hurt to loosen up the atmosphere to shed some of the formality before doing business. In the back of his mind, he thought about C.J. and whether or not she had yet made her move.

* * *

><p>She sipped from her wine glass in a room where there were chaises and tables in what looked like an entertainment room. The décor was quite exquisite, the walls looking like they'd been carved from trees taken from the local forest and in the middle of the room, there was a fountain, with a statue of what looked like Davis in the middle of it.<p>

One of the women sized it up.

"A bit tacky don't you think?"

C.J. frowned at her.

"What…"

The other woman smiled.

"He's not even anatomically correct," she said, "Michelangelo wasn't quite so modest."

C.J. had to smile at her observation and the woman took that as an invitation to introduce herself. She was an attractive woman older than C.J. but dressed in royal blue with short sleeves that rested just off of her shoulders. A stunningly beautiful diamond necklace accentuated her wardrobe.

"I'm Serena…my husband is in the room trying to get some business done while I amuse myself with the girls."

"Yeah my partner's trying to do the same thing."

Serena smiled.

"It's quite a good crowd here," she said, "Some of the highlights…Lucille over there is married to a man who designs software for military defense. She can be a bit frosty at times and Anna is engaged to the man in charge of the next great gaming expert."

C.J. sipped her wine slowly.

"That's nice…"

"So what part of that industry do you and your partner specialize in?"

C.J. drew on her script, the one she'd rehearsed so many times in her head.

"Oh security…security systems both private and commercial…"

Serena nodded.

"Sounds good…"

Lucille wandered on over with her drink in hand. She looked to C.J. like she'd been downing a few of them since the party started.

"All of our husbands…boyfriends are very important players and we're their props."

Serena flashed Lucille a look before rolling her eyes a bit.

"Hey I'm no one's prop darling," she said, "unless my husband and I are role playing."

C.J. had to smile at that and she sized up Lucille who wore red and a petulant look on her carefully made up face. That woman's cool eyes appraised her.

"Who are you? Haven't seen you in these circles before…"

C.J. just looked at her.

"My business partner is in the room cutting a deal and I'm keeping out of his hair."

Lucille just tilted her head back.

"I'm my husband's equal in every way...not some concubine."

She cast a look at where Anna stood talking to another woman and C.J. knew from intelligence briefings that she was the somewhat younger girlfriend of Carlton. After his wife of many years died, he had decided never to be remarry but it didn't mean he didn't want female companionship.

"So you and this partner of yours…does this extend to the bedroom?"

C.J. nearly blinked at Lucille's bluntness as the woman went to the wet bar to refresh her drink. But she had been ready for just about anything that could happen including bored edgy wives worried about women poaching on their turf.

She sipped her own wine steadily.

"None of your business…our only concern is how we make out tonight and that we leave this shindig with a sales ticket on our firm."

The other woman eyed her with grudging respect and then tilted her face.

"Just be careful…because there are some hard hitters in there though not all have arrived."

C.J. furrowed her brow.

"I haven't seen Rodrigo around…has he arrived yet?"

Lucille narrowed her eyes and Serena looked uncomfortable. She watched as Lucille's hand shook slightly as she brought the glass back to her lips.

"No…Rodrigo's not made his appearance yet but the party's still young."

"What's he like anyway? I've never met him."

Lucille looked at Serena and then at C.J.

"He's a very powerful and many say ruthless businessman who deals in different areas…not a man one can easily forget."

Watching Lucille carefully, C.J. could see that she certainly hadn't succeeded and wondered what their relationship had been like. But enough of the small talk, she had to get moving here.

"Excuse me…but could someone give me directions to the powder room?"

* * *

><p>Matt and Will had been talking about the trip they'd taken to Monte Carlo to do some gambling and to take in the auto racing scene there. Matt had been there years earlier when a friend of his had been driving formula cars and winning a lot of races which upset the male drivers to no end. He'd enjoyed a brief affair with him that had been memorable but when they had reunited at another party two years ago, the embers had clearly cooled.<p>

"So you been to the Casablanca road race," one man asked.

Matt nodded.

"About five years ago…not long after a trip to the Monte Carlo 500."

The man smiled and took out another cigar to light up. The room had filled with pungent smoke which nearly choked Matt who didn't light up himself but he ignored it. The liquor flowed freely and Matt sensed that underneath their casual conversation, were undertones of the deal making that would take place later on in the evening.

Only one player was missing…Rodrigo.

Matt hoped that he didn't opt out of attending the party but if he'd flown into the Rivera, he must be planning to make an appearance but so far nothing…and no signs of him approaching either. He usually traveled with several of his partners including his right hand man; a hardened ex-Navy Seal out of Miami named Milan. While more than capable of serving as some serious muscle, Matt suspected that Milan also was a major strategist in Rodrigo's syndicate. One to definitely watch if he showed up at the party as well.

But so far nothing and it'd been a couple of hours…Roy had left periodically to use the scrambled communication channel to send information to those watching from a distance. He appeared to be on his game and enjoying himself. But then he'd done this for a living for years. Will appeared to be having a good time as well, chatting with the other guests as they sat around a table.

Matt…well he felt uncomfortable as if something seemed almost off-kilter. But he didn't know what that might be…everything seemed to be going according to their plan so far. He hadn't seen C.J. since she went back to join the other women and he wondered how she was doing. Maybe he'd feel on edge until he saw her again.

They heard some commotion in the hallway finally and Matt looked up to see a man with jet black hair and a mustache on his face. His impeccable suit covered an impressive frame, cut with hard muscle the kind that never went soft. The men with him looked equally formidable but then most of them were ex-military from whatever country birthed them.

"Good evening…I was delayed by some business," he said, walking to pour himself a sherry with his men.

Carlton entered the room.

"I see Rodrigo and his partners found their way here," he said, "I'll join you in a moment…and we'll have some entertainment."

Rodrigo smiled and went to the table then turned his head to the man behind him.

"Milan you stay with me," he said, "the others will make sure everything stays secure. You can never be too careful in this part of the world."

He sat across from Matt and Will.

"I hear you're into private investigation Mr. Houston."

Matt smiled at him easily enough.

"It's a hobby of mine but I'm trying to hand off one of my electronics subsidiaries to someone here."

"I see…well I've done some investigation myself and found that your firm is very reputable and cutting edge."

Matt nodded.

"Indeed it is, but one thing it's not going to be is cheap."

Rodrigo looked over at Milan and then smiled.

"I see…I think I'm going to enjoy doing business with you…A partner of mine couldn't be here, but he brought some gifts for the night."

Rodrigo looked over at the door as did Matt and the other men and they saw several young women skimpily dressed in party dresses, their faces gazing around the room somewhat dazed.

"Who are they," Matt asked, "these girls."

Rodrigo folded his hands and put them on the table in front of him.

"They're what you might say are call girls…my partner deals in a higher class of whore and these are well trained you might say in how to please men who pay for their services…but tonight they are on the house."

Carlton tightened his mouth when he walked past the women to join them at the table.

"Rodrigo…I don't want whores in my house…not while…"

"Your mistress is in the other room," he said, "that sweet young thing that you turned to for comfort after your wife died?"

Carlton just stared at him.

"It's unseemly…we're here to conduct business."

Rodrigo tilted his head.

"Then consider them a fringe benefit of doing business with me," he said, "I don't have to return them to my syndicate member until the morning."

Matt glanced over at the women, who looked as if they were barely aware of where they were right now. Probably were drugged by their handlers before being brought here. He had already discovered reasons not to like Rodrigo, but another one was added to that list. The other men looked uncomfortable but Rodrigo just sipped his drink and he and Milan waited for the conversation to get started.

* * *

><p>C.J. slipped out to go to the powder room but after going in there and after going in there a moment, she slipped out again to go find Carlton's office wing. She had an image of the mansion's floor plan in her head but knew if she wasn't careful, she could easily get lost inside the labyrinth. She found a hallway and taking a breath, she looked around to make sure no one was in the vicinity.<p>

Finally she found the wing and moved stealthily down the hallway, wondering if she'd trip off some alarm system. She'd been told that it'd be off tonight because Carlton might slip away from the party to check on some business dealings. A hallway lined with closed doors greeted her and she sighed, trying to count inside her head which door would prove to be the right one, the one that would open if she tried out a certain code on the security keyboard. An operative who worked undercover as a maid here had uncovered it and slipped it to her contact outside while picking up Carlton's dry cleaning in town. The federal agency had key people placed around the Rivera and had contracted some former operatives who had retired down here, their homes paid for by their generous retirement packages…in exchange for if they might be needed to perform a service down the line.

She found the right door or so she hoped, looking around her again before trying out the five digit code. After punching the numbers in, she heard the clicking sound of the lock sliding out of the slot. She opened it slowly and slid inside the room into darkness. She flipped the light switch and saw an oak desk with a chair and several cabinets against the walls that were lined with photos taken of what looked like Carlton and the woman who'd been his wife. They had two children, a son and daughter who were grown up and living their own lives in Europe. She didn't know the details but both of them hadn't visited their father since their mother died.

She walked over to the desk and recalled the combination that Carlton used to access it which his wife's birth date. Not exactly the smartest of choices but then it made her job easier…she knew the disk would be inside but that timing had been everything because Carlton hadn't meant to keep it there for very long and she might not be the only one looking for it

After opening the door nice and slowly, she started foraging through it just as carefully. She saw folders, filing envelopes and some loose photos. She picked one of them up and saw what looked like a scared young woman getting some sort of a mug shot. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, looking like a model only the woman's face had been marked with fear towards whoever held the camera. She flipped it over and saw a number written on the back of it with the word, Excalibur Productions. After a moment, she let it slip from her fingers back into the drawer and focused on her search for the disk. But she more than sensed that Carlton was hardly the reputable, well known businessman he had appeared to be…no he was something else altogether.

The man whose latest business acquisition had just gone public to great fanfare last week had some secrets locked inside his office in his mansion but she was only interested in one of them. So she rummaged through the contents of the drawer further until she felt the envelope that had a hard circular edge of a CD or DVD inside of it. She reached for it with her fingers and then she heard the door click again.

That sound made her freeze but she acted quickly and crouched behind the desk as far out of the light as she could. A man slipped inside the room that was on the phone…his voice not familiar.

"I'm inside…I'll pick up the files from the cabinet on the merger and then have the courier pick them up when he drops by…yes I know how critical they are but it's hard to slip away from the party."

She listened without making a sound herself, even slowing her breathing down, each exhalation done slowly and quietly as she willed him to just get what he came for and leave again.

"Yeah Rodrigo arrived…acting like nothing's happening but the man's more lethal than a viper so I just want to get this over and done with before something happens."

C.J. heard him rummage around some filing cabinet, after he opened it and then he pulled something out before closing it. Then the man having clicked the phone already left the office flipping the light switch off as he left. She still had no idea who he might be, had he been working for Carlton? Was he double crossing him or even getting evidence for the feds, an operative that had been slipped in that she and the others didn't know about? She couldn't think too hard about it because she just wanted to grab the disk, get out of the office and slip back to the party.

* * *

><p>Matt watched as Rodrigo and Milan left the other men to go out and handle some issue that neither elaborated on when they took their departure. He turned to Will who just gave him the same puzzled look.<p>

"I don't know what they're up to," Will said, "but we can't let our guard down."

"I know that…but we've got a plan to follow and hopefully C.J.'s got what we came for already."

Matt hoped that was the case too, he knew at least she was probably trying to fulfill the most difficult part of her assignment. He worried for her especially since he was in the dark having not seen her in several hours.

* * *

><p>C.J. walked back down the hallway carefully and then turned the corner, running into the two men. She looked up to see both Rodrigo and Milan staring at her. A smile curved on Rodrigo's face which bore a thin scar above one of his eyes.<p>

"Hello there…I didn't see you earlier."

She took a deep breath, thinking of the disk tucked in her purse.

"I was on my way to the bathroom to…freshen up but this house has so many hallways and rooms it's easy for a woman to get lost."

Rodrigo flashed a look at what looked like amusement at Milan.

"Yes I can see that…but you're too beautiful to be wandering off by yourself…there's some very ruthless men here."

She tilted her face and looked at him.

"I can handle myself thanks…but I need to get back to the other women," she said, "We were discussing fashion designers."

He reached out a finger and stroked her arm, playing with one of the straps from her dress resting on her shoulder.

"You look just fine in what you're wearing…though I imagine you look better out of it."

She just stared at him indignantly. The man clearly had no manners, or any respect for women but then considering his background…not surprising. But she wanted to get past him, away from his slimy hands and back to the party.

"If you'll excuse me…"

Then he moved quickly and pushed her against the wall, his body hard and muscled against hers while Milan just watched, his own mouth curving into a smile.

"Just a minute…my partner and I want to check this out…you really are a beauty..."

She pushed him away from her, not an easy task but she finally put some space between them. He didn't look offended.

"Okay…but maybe a little later in the party after business is done…we can spend some time getting acquainted."

"No thanks…I'm here with my partner."

Rodrigo's smile widened as he stroked her face with a finger, while looking into her eyes, catching her gaze.

"I'm sure he won't mind…if he's serious about doing business."

She flinched away from him and both Rodrigo and Milan chuckled. As she moved away from them, she heard them talk among themselves.

"I'd like to break her in," Milan said, "Ride her hard and pull her up wet."

The men chuckled and C.J. left them in disgust, in a hurry suddenly to get back to the others.


	11. Chapter 11

C.J. woke up and she'd been in her own bed. Her body wrapped up in sheets and her pillow over her head.

Not that Duke hadn't tried to get her into his bed but she'd demurred after the concert even though they'd traded some kissing. She liked him but when he'd suggested they move the action back to his place, she'd just said no. But after she settled into bed alone later, she wondered if she'd made the right decision. Some nights, she just wanted a man to hold her, to feel his arms around her, the warmth of his body cloaking her from the outside world. Someone to keep the bad dreams at bay while she slept.

Her confrontation with Matt after what they'd shared on the ridge left her prickly and a bit raw so it'd be nice if she had someone soften those edges. And if she had to use some sex to get to that point was that so bad? So she'd lain in bed for a while staring at the shadows on the ceiling, thinking about what it'd be like to not feel so alone.

When Matt had returned into her life, she felt all of that more intensely. She certainly did when she'd been wrapped up in him that morning before reality caught up with both of them.

She still felt the sting. Maybe a night with Duke would have erased it, along with everything else.

Pushing the covers off of her, she finally got out of bed to get ready to go to work. She'd spend another day getting dirty doing work in the nursery in the hot humidity retreating to the herb section with some iced tea. Who would have thought a coastal village would be experiencing heat waves, but at least she wasn't in the tropics.

She checked her phone and she didn't have any messages. From Duke or anyone else so she slipped out of her shirt and panties and headed to the shower. The water felt good and shook the last bit of sleep out of her and she toweled herself off after stepping in the shower. She didn't look forward to seeing Matt at work but she'd just continue to ignore him if he gave her attitude.

* * *

><p>Matt had tossed and turned in his own bed after he'd nixed Clover's invitation for a nightcap and a night in the sack at her place. He told her that he'd meant what he said about not taking their relationship further and she'd said she had accepted it. Still she seemed to push the envelope on that but he just didn't want it.<p>

His phone vibrated next to his bed. He looked at it and saw that it was the feds. He clicked to take it even though he wanted to throw it across the room.

"Hi…who's this?"

"It's Bruce…where are you?"

Matt sighed.

"None of your business," he said, "You don't need to know except that I caught up with C.J.."

"Well the feds want to talk to her since they've been reviewing that botched surveillance operation."

"The feds need to be more focused on keeping her safe and out of the hands of Rodrigo and his men."

Bruce sighed.

"We know about that situation," he said, "I believe Stu and Enrique have both spoken with you about it. We're doing the best we can without her here."

Matt sat up in bed.

"Yeah that's right while Rodrigo's holding an auction to sell her off even before he's caught up with her," he said, "and then what will happen?"

"We could protect her better down here at least through the trial."

"That won't be long enough and you know it," Matt said, "Even if Rodrigo goes down, he's got people everywhere to pick up where he left off and that might include going after his enemies."

"God, this whole case got screwed up after what she did," he said, "We shouldn't have used her."

Matt's body tensed.

"She got the disk. It just went south after that," he said, "Maybe for other reasons…other things that were overlooked."

"So you're saying it's our fault then."

Matt bristled at what Bruce had said, feeling the defensive tone in the other man's voice.

"No…just that I'm not sure what happened or why Rodrigo did what he did…started shooting."

"He's a remorseless killer Matt," Bruce said, "Doesn't need a reason just an opening and she might have given him one."

"Maybe you shouldn't be talking about her like that until you're done with this…investigation."

He heard a harsh chuckle on the other end.

"Why don't you figure out how to handle her and leave the decision about what went right and what went wrong up to the experts?"

Matt paused.

"She behaving herself with you?"

Matt didn't like the insinuation in the man's voice and gritted his teeth.

"She's got a job and a place to live," he said, "and I'm keeping an eye on her."

He heard the other man sigh.

"You'd better be really doing that because if she winds up getting sold by him to another trafficker, no one will be able to keep her safe."

Matt couldn't argue with that, as he clicked off his phone and wondered what to do next.

* * *

><p>C.J. dried her body off and slipped on her work uniform of jeans and a tank shirt to get some breakfast before taking off to work. Sunlight streamed through the window and she knew it'd be another hot day. Damn, she hoped it'd cool down soon but she'd have some shade time today.<p>

Then after her work day was done, she'd be meeting with Miranda at the clinic. That made her a bit on edge because she'd never been to see a counselor before and didn't know what to expect. She'd been interrogated by the federal team of experts after her assignment but she felt it more invasive than anything else and hadn't said much of anything. Even though she really hadn't said much.

But she felt now she had plenty to talk about and she needed to share what she had inside her with someone who would just listen.

Someone who didn't know her background and someone who wouldn't judge her for the decisions she had made.

She had been doing that enough already and with Matt constantly throwing his two cents of judgmental attitude in, she'd had enough of that.

As she ate her oatmeal, she thought about all the warnings he'd given her about Rodrigo and she knew to remember them. That even now despite what happened between them, he still cared about what happened to her.

After grabbing her things, she left the house locking it up tight and looking around her before she headed to her car. She got inside and drove onto the nursery.

* * *

><p>Matt watched as C.J. headed towards the herb sales section to sort out the different types of basil and thyme. She'd always enjoyed cooking with most of them so working with them in their elemental form likely made her feel at home.<p>

The tank top she wore today accentuated her toned shoulders and the outline of her breasts, the same one he'd loved to hold in his palms while he outlined her mouth with his tongue.

But he knew she wouldn't welcome it.

C.J. finished lining up the herbs the way she liked them before heading off to dig up her lunch that she kept in the refrigerator inside the store. She'd made a roast beef sandwich and added an apple and a bottle of iced tea.

Now she sat in the shaded area near the ornamental vines section and ate it. Clover and Matt had been working by the pond again and their chatter wafted back to her on the ocean laced breeze. Obviously their relationship continued to thrive because Matt had found a woman he knew wouldn't betray him.

Duke had called her back several times wanting to go out with her, translation wanting to hit the sheets with her. She hadn't decided yet what to do but she would think about it some more.

She thought maybe the day would come when that's all she could do.

"You are going to finish the annuals before you leave early?"

C.J. looked up at Adela and nodded.

"Sure thing…and thanks for letting me leave early."

Adela shrugged.

"No problem, we got plenty of help during the times you need to leave early."

C.J. tensed as he nodded again.

"If there's ever a problem…"

Adela shook her head.

"This is something you clearly needed to do for yourself and Miranda's a great woman, helped me a time or two."

C.J. wondered if she should have told her boss as much as she did but she didn't want her to think she'd be flaking out on her work. Adela was right, she did need to do this for herself. She needed to feel like she could move forward for the first time in a long time.

"Thanks…and I'll start in on the bonsai plants."

Adela smiled and then headed back to the store while C.J. finished eating. She did enjoy working here even though Matt had crashed the party. Something about being surrounded by nature made her relax and caused the tension to ebb out of her. Even if nightmares woke her up, she'd come to work and sit among the lavender section for a while and find herself feeling better.

Staying away from Matt helped too. He'd made it clear he was going to watch out for her to make sure Rodrigo's thugs didn't grab her but she'd just become a point that he had to make through her safety.

"You are finishing up lunch?"

She looked up at him.

"Yeah…you and Clover need help with something?"

He leaned against a short wall, looking like he was about to get started. She knew she didn't want to hear it.

"No…she's looking at the lily pads making sure they've survived the dredging."

She sighed.

"Look Houston what do you want me to say? There's really nothing left."

He nodded.

"Yeah you've got Duke to keep you happy."

She countered quickly.

"You've got Clover," she said, "and I'm glad for you. You shouldn't be alone if you don't want to be."

And bothering her to boot, she didn't add. But if he'd been so happy with Clover, what had happened between them when they got hot and heavy at the ridge? Feelings that hadn't entirely faded away or maybe something deeply buried that had resurged suddenly, more quickly than either could stop.

"C.J.…what happened…"

She knew what he was going to say, what door he was trying to force open but she just put a hand up to stop him.

"Just stop it Houston, go back to her and leave me alone."

He just stared at her but he hadn't moved. That pissed her off, bringing up feelings from way down deep she hadn't known to be there.

"I mean it Houston."

"I know…"

She almost felt like bolting at that point but she kept planted in her seat, not willing to concede him any ground.

"No you don't…but that's for different reasons, because what really happened isn't what you think. Not that it really matters because what you define as true is everything."

He didn't yield any ground either.

"If you ever want to explain that, you know where to find me."

She watched him walk away, as she fumed at his words. But she couldn't deny some truth to them that she did have to find a way to live with what she did.

* * *

><p>Matt returned to work alongside Clover who looked at him when he returned but didn't say anything<p>

He started moving some potted trees closer in line after the recent sale had nearly depleted their stock. Damn her, he kept telling himself, fueling his own anger. Hadn't what he given her been enough? He felt his muscles tense and his skin burn because while he'd been trying to push some sense in her, he'd really wanted a part of what they'd shared.

"Matt…you ready for another night at the club?"

He turned around and saw Clover looking at him.

"Sure…I'll pick you up around eight okay?"

That seemed fine to her and he knew she would help him forget.

* * *

><p>Miranda took her into her office which looked both comfortable and efficient with shelves filled with all different kinds of books and paintings on the wall.<p>

C.J. looked around as she always did at the simple décor.

"Great place…"

"I picked it up pretty cheaply and renovated it under a local commercial enhancement grant."

C.J. sat on the couch, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

"I don't know what I'm doing here…why I come sometimes."

Miranda looked directly at her.

"Yes you do…you've been thinking about needing to talk to someone about it for a while and you finally reached your tipping point so you did what you needed to do."

C.J. thought about how that made sense. She'd had lain in bed at night for months weighing her options of how to face the rest of her life with what had happened in her past. But she didn't know how to say those first words or how safe it would be for her once they passed her lips.

"It's still so hard…so complicated to even make sense of most of the time," she said, "I can't even really think about it, just feel…"

Miranda smiled at her.

"Most things are complicated…until you start talking about them and breaking them down into their elements."

"Yeah well, that's so hard in itself…when I get to certain parts of it…of what happened."

Miranda jotted some notes and then looked up at her again.

"Then I know we've talked about a few things but why not start from a different angle…when did it start?"

C.J. leaned backward on the couch.

"My business partner and I…we do investigative work and we did undercover for some feds and it got messed up."

"How…something that happened?"

C.J. nodded.

"He and I…we crossed the line between us and we became lovers before the assignment. We both wanted it…we've already talked about him."

"Yes…but everything's like a diamond, multi-faceted and when you look at it from a different angle, the way the light hits it just a little differently, it's like looking at something in a new way."

C.J. nodded thinking that made sense.

"There was a crime lord who the feds were after and they got intelligence that he and his close partners would be attending a party hosted for them…so Houston and I were hired to pose as guests while we did surveillance."

"So what happened with that?"

C.J. paused for a long moment.

"We went to the party…to act out our roles while trying to get information then it all went wrong."

Miranda frowned.

"What do you mean?"

C.J. bit her lips and rubbed her arms.

"Everything went wrong."

"You mean Matt's cousin was shot and badly injured," Miranda said, "and is in a wheel chair now paralyzed from the waist down."

C.J. nodded.

"But that wasn't all that happened was it?"

C.J. just looked at her a long moment and shook her head.

C.J. left the building after her session with Miranda, feeling like she'd left a part of herself behind. The counselor had listened to her for about an hour and hadn't judged her. She mostly didn't say anything except asking a question now and then as if reluctant to break her chain of thought.

She'd said all she could say right now, without feeling the tug of reproach or something greater than that. A lot hadn't been said because she had started off so slowly and at the end of the hour, she had just stopped until next time.

Miranda had given her a journal, a blue spiral notebook really, to write down her thoughts when she felt she needed to examine them more closely. Sometimes they passed through her mind so quickly it was like catching fire flies, but Miranda told her it would help her.

To jot them down quickly without analysis and then to examine them later on when she had more time to do so….which did make some sense to C.J..

But she'd been so new to telling some stranger about areas of her life that she'd kept buried, more content to let people believe untruths rather than learn what really had happened to her that night at the estate.

Her chest felt heaviness when she looked back at a time when she'd felt everything had been perfect. As well as it could be while both of them were pretending to be other people yet these latent feelings between them had surfaced.

She walked out into the lingering heat of the late afternoon back to her truck, feeling like she could use a beer right now. Feelings she had suppressed for so long were creeping to the surface, bubbling from inside her and she didn't know how to stop them. At least the alcohol would numb her for a while.

Maybe she should meet up with Duke and go back to his place. The alcohol would numb her feelings and spending the night intertwined with Duke might made her feel better.

Slipping into the seat of her truck, she still hadn't made her decision so she just sat there for a few moments. Miranda had given her some mental exercises to do to help her fall asleep at night and to deal with the nightmares that woke her up staring into darkness.

"I didn't want it."

Miranda just listened.

But C.J. couldn't say much more than that, not today.

Oh she definitely needed a beer so she headed out to the store and then maybe take the beer and some dinner out to the beach to watch the sunset. That sounded like a plan and she headed out.

The store proved to be quite deserted and she took some pasta and chicken to go along with her drinks and she headed to the cove where she went when she needed some time to think. She had a blanket and some towels in the trunk and even a fold up chair if she needed them.

* * *

><p>Matt had gone out for a run after work, feeling suddenly very restless. Clover had invited him to dinner but he'd begged off. C.J. had left earlier and he'd watched her head out her truck.<p>

She looked so beautiful even dressed in her work clothes, her hair clipped back only slightly, its curls still resting around her face. Adela had given her permission to leave early and then had come out and given him and Clover some extra work. Not that he minded because his thoughts were still dominated by what had happened at the ridge. Her skin felt soft beneath his fingers, her mouth perfect beneath his lips. Until she started pulling away again and pushing at him.

He had gone home and changed into running clothes and then headed out to the beach, to take the dirt trail near one of the parking lot that'd wind through the forest there until it snaked down onto the packed sand. The beach itself likely would be deserted because most people had headed off to a special concert at the club tonight.

Where Clover had invited him but he hadn't wanted to go to see C.J. listening to the music with Duke's arm wrapped loosely around her shoulder. So he'd opted out and gone to burn off his excess energy instead. He'd run so hard in the next hour or so that he'd be drenched with sweat and his muscles tired in a way that would help him sleep that night.

The trees still bore life, the birds singing in their branches where they couldn't be seen above him. The air smelt of redwoods, flowers and more than a hint of the ocean which lay below unseen.

The ocean reminded him too much of the nights he had watched the waves curl and crash on the pearly sand beach with C.J. standing close enough to him he could almost hear her heart beat. She smelled of wild flowers and her fingers elicited sensations inside him that drove him crazy.

Now she didn't even seem to want him to touch her…only when she did, she seemed to hunger for it. Until something reminded her of what stood between them.

The taste in his mouth became bitter and he picked up his pace passing a cluster of ferns and horse tails nearing where the trail forked down onto the beach.

The trail went down straight to the beach and he proceeded as fast as he could run so when he crested the bottom, the feeling of lightness hit him. The way it had been to hold her in his arms and rock against her in his bed. She'd gasp in his ear when he hit her favorite spots and when she came; his name had been on her lips.

What had happened to tear those memories they shared apart?

He ran along the beach, the scenes of the past playing in his head where he didn't want them to be. Why hadn't he seen it, why hadn't he stopped her, why had he failed in judging so badly?

Asking those questions served as a salve for the turmoil inside his head, because he'd pushed back others so hard that he no longer remembered them. No, it had been about betrayal, he reminded himself because…because and something slipped through his defenses, he couldn't consider the alternative.

* * *

><p>C.J. sat on the beach on her blanket sipping her beer and eating her pasta feeling content to watch the ocean crash on shore.<p>

The night of the party she'd been given a job to do and she'd done it. She had found the disk that held the information the feds sought, the purpose of infiltrating the gala. But before they could leave with it, the situation changed on a dime. Then the nightmare began, the one that still had them caught up in its grip. Paralysis in its different forms for Will and his cousin Matt and for her…she closed her eyes sharply.

No she didn't want to remember but the memories started flowing through her anyway, holding her captive once again, miles away from their source.

Matt turned past the dune and looked up suddenly seeing her in front of him and he froze.

He just stood there watching her drinking beer and eating food while sitting on a blanket. C.J. appeared deep in thought and not aware of her surroundings. That made it the perfect opportunity for someone to appear and ambush her before she'd even know what happened. But if she couldn't be careful.

Then his mind nagged at him. He'd been hard enough on this issue with her and so rather than say something to her, he just watched. As long as he did, then she'd be safer. There'd been no signs anywhere that Rodrigo or his men had been hunting for her up around here though with a man like that, he might not provide much in the way of a warning before his attack.

She looked peaceful sitting there, the side of her that he never saw anymore. Her hair blew gently off of her shoulders and she paused a while between each sip of beer taking bites of her food and looking out into the waves that broke on shore. He wondered if he thought of that beach miles away which had witnessed what had been the most memorable moments of his life. They had gone there to iron out the logistics of their undercover stint with the feds but he'd not been able to resist.

And neither could she.

She didn't feel that way anymore about him. She'd frozen him out of her life and from some place deep inside of her. He looked out into the ocean which wasn't sky blue and clear as it had been on the island but was greenish blue cast by a lining of white caps. A wind kicked up some coolness over the heat that had basked the town that day. The water would chill the skin, he knew from having swum in it even on the hottest afternoons.

Then he looked back at her and saw her looking at him.

C.J. thought damn, why did Matt have to be everywhere she looked. It was bad enough she thought about him way too much and dreamt about him too. He looked handsome enough as he stood there and his face had softened. He'd been such an ass since he arrived here and with her own body betraying her with him despite his attitude, she knew she needed to get some perspective.

But when he walked over to her, she had to brace herself in different ways all over again.

"What are you doing here by yourself?"

She heard the reproach in his voice and thought, okay that's how he's going to be again. She just lifted her chin up and looked up at him.

"I'm perfectly fine alone here and in fact I prefer it."

"You're wide open C.J.," he said, "What if his men show up?"

She sighed.

"What if you left me alone and stopped judging every move I made?"

He hadn't expected that question, she could tell feeling a bit of satisfaction.

"C.J., I'm not judging you…"

She interrupted him, her eyes showing some resignation.

"Houston, that's all you do, all the time," she said, "and I don't think you have that right."

He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I'm just concerned about your safety."

She shook her head.

"No…you're just angry and you're resentful at stuff that can't be changed now," she said, "You think you're the only one that wishes it were different?"

He looked more agitated then, was he going to start lecturing her all over again?

"Yes I do…I wished we'd never taken that damn assignment, that I hadn't felt like I owed to an old friend."

She just felt so many emotions well up inside of her, they almost threatened to overwhelm her again and she couldn't let that happen in front of him. She couldn't let him see that struggle for control she'd faced so many times. It'd be weakness, it'd given him a power over here she didn't intend.

"You don't understand Houston and you never will," she said, "but please don't tell me over and over what you think you know. Because you don't know."

His eyes flashed because he hated being told he didn't know something. That was his way of feeling weak.

"C.J.…"

She raised her hand.

"Look I've been meeting with someone, a professional," she said, "Someone who listened to me, who didn't judge me and who's trying to help me sort through a lot of things. But the one thing I learned was to stop apologizing for what someone did to me."

His eyes narrowed.

"You mean Rodrigo?"

She nodded.

"Because there's so much you don't know Matt," she said, "and I no longer feel like telling you."

She looked at him and knew he'd gotten her message. That she'd cut him off from what she felt deeply inside. What she'd tried to talk to him about so many times but he'd cut her off.

"Why…we used to be able to talk about anything."

She sighed, remembering those times but she didn't feel safe enough to do that with him anymore. Everything had changed in a short period of time but if the tension between them were to be unraveled, it would take much longer.

"I know but we're not in that place anymore," she said, "I don't trust you enough."

His eyes sobered up and she knew any words he'd planned to stay wouldn't pass his lips.

"I miss those days."

And she knew from the tone of his voice just then, he meant them but that didn't change anything.

"I'm sorry Houston…but I've figured what I need to do to feel whole again and it's not coming from you. It can't come from you."

That angered him and what she saw sent some sadness through her.

"How can you say that?"

She took a deep breath.

"Because I just need to find my way back so much," she said, "and I'm finding my own path."

He left not long after that and she sat there for a while drinking her beer. She felt depleted just from that short conversation but also lightness over her that she'd been missing. She hoped he'd take her message and give her the space she really needed. Maybe he needed that time to deal with his own issues because she'd sensed that she wasn't the only one who bore scars from that assignment. But Matt had never been that good at admitting anything that made him appear weak to others.

She watched as the sun set over the ocean, the sky moving from rosy pink, to purplish which merged into navy blue which would soon be woven with stars. After she finished her beer, she picked up her things and went back to her car. Damn she wished it could have been different that she and Matt had remained together to build something rather than have been ripped apart. But wishing didn't make things so and life remained all about living with what you've been dealt.

The truck started up and she drove back to her house, which waited for her. She walked inside and flipped her light switch before heading to the kitchen to hit some of that ice cream that still remained. She just took the box and a spoon to the couch, and sat with her feet tucked under her eating it.

Serena had given her some exercises to do before she tried to sleep, to unwind her enough so that she could reduce any tension she took to bed that might manifest itself in nightmares. So she cleared her mind and started them, letting the memories of the day waft away.

* * *

><p>Clover looked up at Matt as they sat on the porch step. He'd dropped by her house after being at the beach and they'd taken some beers out where they sat.<p>

"Matt, you doing okay…," she asked to break the silence.

He looked over and nodded.

"Sure…maybe we can head off to the club and listen to some music."

She seemed happy enough to do that. If he saw C.J. there with Duke or anyone else, he'd deal with it. He had ruminated over what she'd told him on the beach and he hadn't liked it but he knew better than to argue with C.J. when she got like that. Sometimes he felt like she had been ready to tell him something she kept hidden but then she stopped clearly not trusting him with any secrets.

But she'd been talking to someone and if that person helped her sort through things, then that'd be a good thing.

"It's country western tonight…we could do some line dancing."

Matt thought that didn't sound bad, dancing helped him forget at times what he didn't want to remember. But he harbored memories of dancing with C.J. in the privacy of his home, slowly moving to some music on the radio. Then he'd kiss her while she pressed her body closer to his and he'd run his fingers along her back before he clamped them on her hips.

One night they'd started out dancing and wound up against a wall after disrobing to the beat of the music, until their sighs drowned it out as he pressed her as he penetrated her body which wanted him so much. He took a deep breath to stop his heart from racing just at the memory.

Those had been simpler times even in a world of danger. Now the minefields were both more insidious and intimate and he didn't know where to step next without setting one off. Clover started stroking his back while he sat there remembering another woman and he felt like a heel. She was a nice enough woman, fun to be with but she didn't harbor a place in his heart.

But she knew that, he told himself over and over. She had to know that and maybe when she looked at him, she saw someone else too.

After finishing their beers, they got off the steps and headed to his car to drive off to the club, to focus on the present and not the past.


	12. Chapter 12

C.J. finished sorting out the herb collection, focusing on the oregano, both Italian and Greek not to mention the half dozen new species of basil which had just arrived. The aromas of each plant wafted together to create a banquet of appealing odors.

Perfect for cooking, she thought and she'd started her own herbal garden at the place she rented, just a small one in a plot of earth that got plenty of sunlight and shade. Since the herbs sprouted and grew so fast, she'd harvest them soon enough to work into her own recipes. Back in her old life, she had enjoyed spicing up her meals with just the right plethora of flavors, almost to where it felt like creating art. Matt had teased her about her cooking, not that he didn't find it delicious but how she went about it. Both slapdash and methodical in ways that didn't make sense until you saw it play out in front of you. Then she had another convert.

She tried not to think about him so much. Better to work on building that distance between them that she needed to live her life.

Adela walked up to her.

"It's looking nice," she said, "Herbs are one of the largest sellers."

C.J. looked up at her and nodded.

"They're versatile for cooking and other things," she said, "and these new basils will be popular I think."

Adela sighed.

"I thought about promoting them by having some sort of event, like a cook off contest using these herbs."

"That sounds like a great idea," C.J. said, "especially if the prizes were great."

Adela pursed her lips.

"I could come up with a few incentives," she said, "Talk to other business owners in town."

C.J. started carefully sorting out some thyme pots and placed them on the shelf.

"I might need your help," Adela said, "You seem to know a lot about these plants."

"I do a lot of cooking when I've got time or need to relax."

Adela smiled.

"I never thought of cooking as a stress release more the opposite but to each its own."

C.J. thought that a fair enough assessment. She rubbed the back of her neck.

"Thanks for allowing me some afternoons to take off early."

Adela shrugged.

"Don't think anything of it," she said, "You've done a lot of great work since I hired you."

C.J. had found it easy enough to focus on her new life wanting to get away from her old one and everything that had happened. Of course, it had gotten more complicated when Matt had shown up, but she hoped that their conversation yesterday would get him to back away from her. All he'd brought her was pain and recrimination because he couldn't move past his own beliefs about what had happened on the island.

Adela smiled at her and then returned to the store while C.J. continued to work on her garden. She didn't get far before her phone buzzed and she pulled it out seeing it was Duke.

"Hi there sweet thing…"

"Hi Duke…why you calling me?"

A pause, then a clearing of his throat.

"I thought we could maybe get together tonight."

She felt tempted and so did her body which tingled at the thought that a man wanted to put his hands all over it. Maybe that part of her was coming back to life again but she hesitated.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to do that," she said, "I know we had fun Duke and I enjoyed being with you…"

"But…"

Yeah, there was that.

"I just need to spend some time by myself," she said, "Not that you're not a great guy but this is something I need to do."

He sighed on the other end and so did a part of her because she'd enjoyed the time with him but she felt like she'd been using him even if they hadn't hit the sheets.

"Well can't we just get together sometime and hang out," he said, "even if there are other people around."

She considered that.

"You mean like at a party or a festival."

"Yeah…I enjoy being with you," he said, "so think about it."

She realized she could do that and she had no plans to isolate herself.

"Okay I'll do that and get back to you."

After saying goodbye, she clicked off the phone and turned back to her work.

* * *

><p>Matt had run on the beach that morning a couple of miles while the sun had been rising but hadn't started baking the coastline yet. His breath came hard as he pushed through the drier sand away from the breaking waves. The seagulls flew over the ocean and he could see some boats heading out to fish offshore.<p>

He'd heard back from the feds that Rodrigo's lieutenant Milan had been seen in various places and he remembered the burly guy who had been trained to protect his boss. Would he taking over the day to day operations while Rodrigo had to lie low for a while? No one could figure out what would happen to the trafficking organization while the prosecution moved forward with its case against the kingpin.

There hadn't been any word on whether or not Rodrigo's men were closer to finding C.J.. That made the skin prickle on the back of his neck because that just meant that Rodrigo was taking extra pains to keep that information from leaking out. He must know he was being closely watched in different ways and taking steps to protect his moves.

If that meant that his men were already closing in, how would they be able to find out before it was too late? Matt wrestled with that question a lot lately.

At work, he'd been doing more heavy lifting of baby fruit trees planted in containers and Clover had been in the office doing some accounting work with Adela. He'd seen C.J. focused on the herb garden and gave her a wide berth. He knew that what she had said to him yesterday, she meant and so he'd give her that space.

Damn if she could see reason anyway but yesterday, there'd been a difference to her. A rawness in her eyes that he hadn't seen when she talked about how much she needed to find her own path, that she didn't trust him.

Those words stung most deeply because what they'd shared on the island together had been all about trust, even before they hit the sheets. If he couldn't count on her who could he and he always believed she felt the same way. But there'd been an edge in her voice that somewhere along the way that had been lost.

Rodrigo had taken it when she'd been his lover. She must understand that he couldn't reconcile that fact without returning back to the betrayal.

He saw as she left the herbal garden to go to the office, after rinsing her hands on a faucet.

Dressed in faded jeans that molded to her curves and a salmon pink shirt that showed off her toned arms…showing how she could be both hard and soft at the same time. He remembered when she'd had her arms and legs wrapped around his own body while he carried her to his bed. His lips had captured hers in sweetness and sass and couldn't stop tasting her so he hadn't seen his shoes on the floor and had tripped over them.

They'd both laughed as they spilled onto the bed, still wrapped up until he rolled her over on his back, stripped her of her panties and moved his mouth in between her legs tonguing her…teasing her at first which drove her crazy on the bed until he zeroed in on her core of pleasure…the part of her which if he nursed it just right would make her purr.

But when their bodies met in the heat of something more primal than even lust, they hadn't cared, all he cared about was sinking inside of her and all she wanted was for him to fill her. Until he told himself that it had been much more than that.

He sighed as he hoisted another tree and his muscles tensed under its weight. The physical labor had been more a part of his life when he'd been back in college and done construction jobs. But he remembered now how good it had been at making him forget his problems at least for a little while.

But still even as he dropped the plant down in its proper place, a part of him deep inside ached.

* * *

><p>Clover and C.J. looked up at Adela, who had just given them some news about a new purchase order.<p>

"So there's some rich guy that's ordered up a slew of plants for his new estate?"

Adela nodded.

"Yes some millionaire businessman bought up the property on top of the ridge that oversees that inlet near the point."

C.J. listened, mildly curious as to who would move there. She'd seen the impressive house that rested there, but the grounds landscaping had fallen off since the owner had put it on the market.

"They might be interested in hiring a couple of you to work part-time there," Adela said, "Until the owner moves in there."

"When will that be," C.J. asked.

"I don't know yet," Adela said, "I think the guy's leaving it up in the air."

Clover frowned.

"They redid the inside of the house recently," she said, "That's what I heard on the grapevine."

Adela nodded.

"I did too, I wonder what style the new owner favors," she said, "Should be interesting to find out."

C.J. wondered what it'd be like to actually be involved in a project like that but she didn't have a landscaping background. She wondered who Adela would offer up to work there. It'd be two days a week and possibly some weekend days.

Adela sighed.

"I'll let you know when I get more definite details," she said, "and you can sort out who will take the positions."

Clover shrugged.

"I might be able to…but I'll have to think about it."

Adela nodded again.

"Fair enough…what about you C.J.?"

She looked up at Adela, not sure what to say. It sounded fascinating but she didn't' know if she had the right experience.

"I don't know…maybe…sounds interesting."

Adela smiled.

"Well it will be for those who decide to work there," she said, "I don't know much about the new owner. We'll be working with some staff he's sent there ahead of time."

C.J. thought it sounded pretty tempting. She wondered if Adela had talked to Matt about it and whether they would both decide they were interested. If so, could they work together? She thought they'd done well so far as long as they tackled different jobs and no doubt there'd be plenty to do on the estate.

Yes, they could work in the same place but keep their distance at the same time. She knew that she could do that.

So maybe she would think seriously about volunteering, it might be just what she needed.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo waited until Milan had entered the room. His top lieutenant and the guy he trusted most to back him up full force if necessary.<p>

He looked up at Milan who pulled off his shades.

"Any word yet?"

Milan shook his head.

"No, no sign of that bitch yet but she's not as smart as she thinks."

Rodrigo shook his head at him.

"Now, now Milan, be careful with what you call her."

But the lieutenant shrugged.

"That's what she is," he said, "Doesn't matter what her parents named her."

Rodrigo knew that Milan had a lot of contempt for C.J. even before she'd turned out to be much more than a beautiful girl at a party. But then again, he'd used that with such deep skill not even Milan had been aware of it.

Right up to the moment of that weekend, the one where they would begin to teach her what it meant to be a whore.

"When we find her, she'll just be another piece of property," Milan said, "She's doing well at auction."

Rodrigo sighed.

"It'd be better if we already had her," he said, "I might have to figure out some more incentives to get my men to track her ass down."

Milan went over to the wet bar to pour some Scotch.

"The guy she's with," he said, "You know he's one of the best."

Rodrigo fingered his own glass.

"Damn good businessman too before he betrayed me but he'll be in over his head if he tries to stop me…"

Milan didn't argue with his boss but he knew about Matt' history and that to underestimate this guy would be a mistake.

Possibly a fatal one for their operation and one where they couldn't take unnecessary risks.

"They're keeping close tabs on me," Rodrigo said, "but the cover plan's working well."

That would allow him to send his men to try and find her, to bring her back to him so he could deal with her. The beautiful woman with the eyes that could bore right through a man, who had lain on that bed, while he prepared to take her... He'd almost believed…but clenching his hands into fists at his desk, he knew she'd been damn good at saving those who mattered to her. Just not good enough to save herself.

But she'd been hidden from him a while now and it was getting to be too long, his patience ebbed quickly. Milan just looked at his boss, reading his frustration lying beneath his exterior, not sure what to say to him.

Then the phone rang.

* * *

><p>Matt mused about whether or not he should volunteer for the landscaping assignment at the estate that overlooked the ocean. He'd seen it from a distance and also photos of it and it reminded him a bit of the one back on the island. Someone wealthy had purchased it and then wanted to go change everything that surrounded the main house. He could do that, he'd always worked outdoors, construction, landscaping and even a bit of ranch work before he had started his business. He wondered if Clover would agree to take the assignment.<p>

Or whether C.J. would want it….he considered that possibility too. That they might be over there working in close proximity together. Even though they both worked for the nursery now, they had kept their distance since their last couple of conversations and that passionate interlude.

His body tightened as he thought about what'd it been like to hold her body while he'd kissed her, exploring her waiting mouth as if he'd never known what it had been like to do it. Yet at the same time, it had been like coming home and the contradiction enticed him in ways he hadn't been in quite some time. Since…no he couldn't go back and think about the past that he'd shared with her. His only interest was to keep her safe and out of Rodrigo's hands.

Not that she made it easy for him with her stubbornness, didn't she know how dangerous it was out there with a man as relentless and as far reaching as Rodrigo hunting her down? Would she finally figure it out after he'd caught her and shipped her off to a brothel where she'd spend the rest of her life? That thought sobered him because if he made the wrong move…he'd never see her again.

He felt the coldness of that possibility deep inside him and he turned away from those thoughts to go attend to some of the avocado trees. A popular item, he had been pruning the dried branches off some of the latest shipment before putting them on display.

Clover walked by him.

"Hey you thinking about that job offer?"

He looked up at her and nodded.

"Sounds like good money and the place is incredible."

"Yeah it's been empty for a while…too long and the new owner supposedly has definitive plans for the place."

Matt guessed that he would and wondered what kind of direction he would give to those who did his work.

"He's some far flung businessman," she added, "No one's seen him yet in town."

Matt flung a couple of small branches he pulled off into a bag.

"Maybe he's not had the opportunity yet," he said, "What about you, you interested?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know, I got other obligations so probably not," she said, "What about C.J.?"

He'd been thinking a lot about her lately but he tilted his face.

"What about her?"

"You think she might want the position?"

"Maybe…the estate's big enough for the both of us so that'd be fine."

Clover chuckled.

"What's between the two of you," she said, "Sometimes you look like you want to go at it, like fight and other times…"

Her face changed.

"What?"

She paused.

"You look like you want to go at it…in a different way."

Damn, he thought, he'd been more transparent than he thought but Clover had nothing to worry about. He had no intention of tangling again with C.J..

"Clover…she…and I….it's over."

She appeared to digest that but some doubt lingered in her eyes.

"If you say so…does she know that?"

He chuckled a bit harshly.

"I'd say so…I think you're right about the fighting part but that's not going to happen either. We're both professionals at heart."

She folded her arms.

"And that supersedes everything else?"

He nodded.

"Definitely…"

He didn't know if that satisfied her but it wasn't like the two of them were serious and she had to know that. What he'd felt for C.J. back then had been as close to getting serious as he'd ever be and that had blown up in his face.

So no thanks to being close with any woman. That's what he told himself now as he had since it had all gone bad.

* * *

><p>C.J. looked up at Miranda from where she sat in the couch. She'd come for another session, a bit on edge as always but feeling that sense of purpose she had since she made the decision to seek therapy.<p>

"I don't know about him sometimes," she said, "He and I were so close…friends before things changed and then I thought it meant something to both of us but everything got so complicated…"

"With the assignment…?"

C.J. had told Miranda about what she'd been doing with Matt and the feds, because she knew that it'd remain confidential and she couldn't move forward with what she needed to do omitting that part of it.

"Yeah…I never thought I'd screw up my judgment…what happened with Matt weakened it because all I cared about was those moments I was in his arms."

"So balancing work and relationships was difficult to say the least?"

C.J. nodded.

"Yeah you could say that with the addition that it could be fatal for both of us," she said, "but I didn't care…it was like this dam broke down that had always been there blocking that part of my feelings off from him…and myself."

"But those feelings broke loose…"

C.J. chuckled without much mirth.

"They sure did and god, it was so wonderful but like I couldn't get enough and that's when it became dangerous."

Miranda mostly just listened to her except for a question here and there but she took plenty of notes. She never looked fazed by what C.J. told her about her complicated life, but then again, maybe she had heard everything already.

"How so…?"

"He'd killed the woman who he exposed as a plant after his pack of lieutenants had raped her," C.J. said, "that should have been warning enough not to cross him."

"But you did your work," Miranda said, "What happened with Matt was separate from that."

C.J. shook her head slowly.

"Yes I did and it went according to plan at first."

Miranda jotted her notes.

"Then that one time…I told you about when he…grabbed me in the hallway and I couldn't move because his body…I just thought about the ocean, the blueness of it and the whitecaps which lit the top of the waves like diamonds. Anything to not think about what he was doing…because I couldn't lose it you know and endanger the assignment."

"Disassociating yourself from him and what he was doing," Miranda said, "That's not uncommon when someone's conduct is not welcome."

"I didn't want it…none of it," C.J. said, "but I never told anyone about what he did outside the office. We all had our jobs to do, we all knew the dangers and what would test us. I just thought that's how it would be for me…with him and I could handle it."

"You were the professional operative?"

C.J. nodded.

"Well at least for that assignment," she said, "but I was wrong about that."

Miranda nodded.

"So what happened next?"

C.J. pursed her lips and grasped her arms with her hands, settling back deeper into the couch.

"Well I went back to the other women at the party and we enjoyed ourselves talking for a while mostly about how the men had abandoned us for business."

Miranda didn't say anything just listened as C.J. hunted her mind for the words she needed to say next.

"At some point, I left and went to find Matt and the others."

She felt herself start to tremble and hated herself for it, if anyone even the woman sitting across from her could see it. But the next words left her mouth easily enough through a sigh.

"And that's when everything changed…."


	13. Chapter 13

She left the other women in the entertainment room and went to look for Matt. Hopefully, they were wrapping up business and would soon be able to leave, with the disk in their possession. They'd then meet up with the agents and hand it off to them while being briefed on the surveillance job and then head back to the beach house.

They wouldn't stay there for long and sometime in the earlier part of the morning before dawn they'd slip on out of their bungalow to the airstrip where Matt's Lear jet awaited. Will and Roy would meet them there and then they'd head back to the States back to their regular lives waiting for them there.

C.J. smiled when she considered that, but she didn't know what that meant now. After all, things had changed between her and her best friend in the past couple of weeks. Her cheeks flushed a bit as she flashed back to some of those memorable moments they had spent together.

No, she had to focus on their mission but when Matt met her in the hallway suddenly, she went to him. He kissed her softly on the mouth as he slid his arms around her waist.

"Did you get it?"

She nodded.

"How'd it go?"

She paused because she didn't want to get into the details…certainly not right now while they were still in the mansion.

"It went…how are you guys doing?"

Matt smiled at a couple of party guests who walked past them.

"Fine…listen if we're finished here, we might want to think about our exit plan."

She nodded.

"Okay we've still got some surveillance to wrap up here," she said, "Maybe you'd better head on back."

He looked at her intently then.

"Maybe we'd better discuss it first some place private."

They saw the same door leading to some supply room and she nodded before one at a time they slipped inside hoping no one had seen them.

Inside the room, everything else receded away as he grabbed her with his hands and their lips met hungrily, the tension of the evening melting away as she pressed against him, rubbing against his hard body in ways that made him groan.

"Houston…we really shouldn't…"

But he'd picked her up at that point and moved her towards an old desk and this time she grabbed onto him with her legs holding him firm. Suddenly, hearing footsteps outside the door, he stopped and they just looked at each other breathing hard.

"We've got a job to do and we've got to get it done."

He nodded.

"Well how about in a few minutes okay?"

His lips met hers again.

* * *

><p>Later, she smiled to herself as she returned to the other women who seemed to be more bored than anything else, having amused themselves with all kinds of discussion topics. They hadn't seemed to notice her missing at least not most of them.<p>

Lucille folded her arms when she returned.

"Where have you been," she said, "You miss Anna telling about how Carlton planned to take her to the Italian winery he owns when this party is over."

C.J. smiled.

"Sounds riveting…"

Lucille sneered at her.

"What…not good enough for you…you're not even from wealth so what do you know?"

C.J. just shrugged and smiled again.

"Not everything revolves around money…"

Lucille just waved her hand.

"You must be new to all this if you're still saying that," she said, "I hope your partner's smarter or the sharks will eat him up."

Serena moved up.

"Oh Lucille, we're here to have fun not to talk about which guy has a larger caliber size except where it matters."

C.J. hid her smile watching Lucille return to her corner and her wine bottle. All the wealth couldn't be making her all that happy if she was hitting the booze so hard. Serena just shrugged and she and C.J. went to sit back on the chaise.

"So what are the men doing?"

C.J. rubbed her forehead.

"They took a break and I guess Rodrigo and his partners finally made an appearance."

Serena made a face.

"That's not good…I mean the guy's hardcore…"

C.J. leaned closer to her.

"What do you mean?"

Serena paused.

"Oh he's got legitimate business interests but he's got a whole side of his empire…that's not legal…I heard he's heavy in the narcotics trade down here."

Mexico's government had started crumbling from corruption and infighting so the drug lords had stepped in to take charge. She figured Rodrigo was another shark in a large pond of them as they sliced out pieces of the countryside's turf to claim as their own, forming uneasy alliances with some and going to war against others.

"He's in the right place for it."

Serena nodded.

"But it's more than that…or so I've heard. Don't really know the guy except what I heard."

C.J. listened to the other woman and guessed that she knew more than she was telling her. But then Rodrigo's activities often pressed those who knew about them or witnessed them into silence.

After her encounter with him and Milan in the hallway, that didn't surprise her.

Matt and Will talked more with the businessmen and Carlton left for a few minutes and came back. Rodrigo participated in the discussion after he'd returned not long after Matt had left C.J. and took his seat across from him. Sliding as easily into the banter as if he'd never left but Matt sensed a change in him and his own body tensed.

The sooner they could get this done and exit this scene the better for all of them. But he felt uncomfortable being apart from C.J. and as he looked into Rodrigo's eyes that glanced at him, he felt his blood chill. Matt had received the most extensive training when in the military specializing in all forms of acquiring and processing military intelligence. His work as an investigator had only honed those skills…not to mention his more basic instincts. Watching Rodrigo and Milan refresh their sherry in their glasses, he felt uneasy. Not that he minded because he'd be worried if he didn't in an operation like this…but…he looked at Roy and saw the wariness in the veteran operative's eyes.

So it wasn't just his instincts kicking into overdrive.

But when it finally happened, neither saw it coming.

* * *

><p>C.J. had been talking to Serena when she felt sharp footsteps past the door into the entertainment room.<p>

"What's going on?"

Serena looked towards the door.

"I don't know…maybe some folks are leaving."

C.J. got up from where she sat and looked at the other women who didn't appear interested and headed to the doorway. Then she stepped out into the hallway and heard muffled voices from another room growing louder.

Suddenly she realized that the men storming by had realized that the disk they'd been sent to retrieve was missing.

Because someone else had gotten there first…she realized she had a decision to make quickly.

* * *

><p>A group of men entered the room where the men sat and suddenly Rodrigo changed moods and turned towards them.<p>

"What happened?"

One of the men stepped forward.

"It's gone…"

Rodrigo's jaw tensed and Matt watched as he turned to look at Carlton.

"You had promised us the disk…that it'd be waiting in your office."

Carlton suddenly looked flustered.

"Well…that's where I left it for your pickup," he said, "Are you sure your men looked in the right place?"

Rodrigo looked at the man.

"Where did you look Dash?"

The man looked agitated.

"All over the office, beginning with the desk…"

Carlton nodded.

"That's where I had it left…I saw personally to it myself…you should have found it."

Dash shrugged.

"No…nothing there though the desk was a mess…someone got there first."

Rodrigo's eyes darkened as he focused on Carlton.

"Do you know who that would be," he said, "Did you sell it to someone who promised you more money?"

Carlton tugged at his shirt and shook his head. Rodrigo gestured to the men by the door.

"Go get his mistress and bring her here."

The men left quickly and Carlton's eyes widened.

"But…but it was supposed to be there…in the drawer. If it isn't I swear to you I don't know what happened to it."

Matt saw the vestiges of Carlton's power slip away and Rodrigo just stared at him a long moment.

"That might be but if it's not in my possession, I'm taking something else you may value more to jog your memory on what you did to the disk."

Matt knew that Rodrigo would be ruthless to anyone who crossed him and he knew that Carlton knew that too. He glanced at Roy and Will and all they could was watch for now because this hadn't been part of the game plan.

Then he saw something working in Rodrigo's mind and the trafficker gestured to Milan.

"Go get that woman we met in the hallway too."

Matt just watched as Milan left the room to join the others.

* * *

><p>C.J. watched from the doorway where she'd returned to after going to the chaise when she saw the three men come inside. They lunged across the room and grabbed Anna, pulling her towards the doorway as she fought against them.<p>

"Wait, what are you doing," C.J. asked.

The men looked at her.

"This doesn't concern you," he said, "Stay inside the room and continue on with the party."

She just stared at him as if he were crazy while one of the men who grabbed Anna slapped his hand over her mouth to shut off her screams.

"Wait…what's going on here," C.J. said, "Where are you going with her?"

One of the men stopped long enough to sneer at her.

"Her boyfriend lost something that belongs to Rodrigo and he's taking his payment."

C.J.'s eyes widened and just then she saw Milan enter the room.

"Take her too…"

And before she knew it, another man along with Milan had grabbed hold of her while she struggled against them.

"Get your hands off of me."

Milan chuckled mirthlessly.

"My partner needs you too," he said, "His property's come up missing and you were the closest to where it was supposed to be."

She knew then what he was talking about and that she had taken it. So she just tried to think quickly as they moved out of the room and headed down the hallway. Milan still had hold of her when they entered the room and she looked up and saw Matt, Will and Roy just sitting there.

Rodrigo stood up and walked over to the woman, looking at Anna first. Reaching out with his hand and stroking her hair as she flinched. He then grabbed hold of it and wrapped it around his fist. She cried out in pain when he pulled hard until she nearly stumbled as her heels caught the rug.

"Ready to talk now Carlton…I've got your girl right here and if you don't give me the disk, I'm going to hand over to one of my syndicate partners to add her to his stable…you know what that means right?"

Carlton didn't answer but nodded slightly.

"So I need the disk and I won't call my partner."

Matt sat rigid in his seat, ready to act but not seeing an opportunity. Rodrigo moved closer to Carlton.

"We're going to continue this party," he said, "and there will be no more guests."

Milan and the other man arrived with C.J. and Matt's eyes widened when he saw her standing there. So she had been the woman that they had seen in the hallway but she hadn't mentioned anything to him when…he closed his eyes trying not to let fear get away from him. He was professional in all he did pertaining to his business. He would be this time as well, pushing his emotions away and he looked over at Roy and Will and saw them determined to do the same.

C.J. had kept her cool despite being manhandled by two large men. She just looked up at Rodrigo.

"What do you want…why did you interrupt my conversation with the girls?"

Rodrigo stepped closer to her.

"I'll get to you in a minute," he said, "I'm still talking business with Carlton about the property he owes me."

Carlton just shook his head.

"I told you where I left it for you…"

Rodrigo flashed him a hard look.

"I told you what would happen to this sweet girl here if you didn't give it to me."

Carlton's eyes bulged and Matt thought he seemed on the verge of losing it.

"I don't have it…if it's not here; perhaps one of your own men isn't really working for you."

That made Rodrigo even angrier, though he could cage his rage where he could keep control over it. Still, Matt knew he was deadly serious and that he'd kill Carlton and hand Anna off to a trafficker without blinking.

But what was going on with C.J. Why had she been brought here?

Carlton sputtered.

"I don't know what to tell you if I don't know who took it."

Rodrigo looked over at Milan and Dash.

"Do it…"

They pushed Anna to a wall and began hiking up her expensive silk dress. Carlton reacted.

"Wait…what are you doing?"

Rodrigo held up a hand.

"Relax…we're just searching her for the merchandise…for now."

Milan moved Anna's dress upward as she stood there terrified, her eyes seeking out Carlton but her boyfriend could only watch. Another man slid his hands expertly over her ankles, her legs…up her thighs and grabbed her crotch as she flinched while he slipped his hands beneath her underwear in his search. It obviously had an effect on Carlton but Matt knew he was telling the truth, because Matt knew the disk wasn't in the drawer, it was in C.J.'s possession.

Rodrigo turned to Carlton smiling.

"She's nice…a beautiful piece of ass…my partner could make good use of her and he will if you don't turn over the disk."

Carlton just looked helpless, his fists clenched and then Matt saw him slide one hand beneath the table. He wondered if the millionaire was packing and about to try something, god he hoped not. The situation was bordering on meltdown quickly enough already but there was no room to act. He wondered where their handlers were right now while the operation was falling apart in front of them.

"Okay Carlton…we'll just see what a good little whore she is in front of you…Milan…"

The other man moved towards where Anna had been pushed against the wall and grabbed her dress strap, ripping it off of her exposing part of her lace covered breast. She shivered and tried to recoil but he just pushed her harder against the wall with his body. He reached to tear at her dress again.

"Wait…."

Matt turned in surprise at C.J.'s voice as she raised her hand.

"Don't hurt her….Carlton's telling you the truth," she said, "The disk was in the drawer…"

Matt looked to see how Rodrigo would react and noticed he didn't seem all that surprised at what he suspected was coming.

"And where is it now," Rodrigo said, "Was that what you were doing in the hallway when we found you?"

Matt saw C.J. staring at her and inside, his heart felt squeezed by something very cold, like ice as he saw Rodrigo approach her. She stood there and didn't back away, her face unreadable even to him. Her focus on the young woman pinned to the wall by a couple of thugs.

"Let her go…I'm…."

Then a shot broke the silence in the air and everyone turned around to see where it came from and Carlton had pulled out a handgun and fired it, striking one of the Rodrigo's men who sunk to the floor bleeding profusely. Rodrigo pulled out his own gun as did Milan and Dash and another of his lieutenants. Matt's eyes shifted quickly between Rodrigo and Carlton as they stood in an armed standoff.

Rodrigo focused his attention on the party host.

"You just made your last mistake," he said, "Say goodbye to Anna…"

Carlton just aimed his gun as two men grabbed Anna and dragged her towards the door.

"Go take her to one of the back bedrooms…"

Carlton's mouth snarled but his hand holding the gun didn't waver.

"No you don't…stop…"

The men continued dragging the writhing woman and Rodrigo spoke with them while keeping his eyes on Carlton.

"When you get there, do what you want with her," he said, "but no bruising because she'll be someone else's property in the morning."

Carlton started to pull the trigger.

"No….."

But before he could fire, another gunshot filled the room and Matt turned to see a growing crimson stain on Carlton's shirt over his shoulder. Carlton dropped the gun and grabbed his shoulder, trying not to collapse on the table. Rodrigo stepped closer, his mouth curving into a smile which didn't reach his eyes.

"Anna's going to make a lot of men very happy for the rest of her life Carlton," he said, "and she'll have you to thank…"

Before Carlton could respond, Rodrigo fired off his handgun again and this time, Carlton fell on his oak table and remained still. Matt and Will looked at each other. Rodrigo turned his attention on them while Milan and Cash moved closer to where C.J. stood.

"Now it's your turn to answer some questions Mr. Houston…let's see if you can come up with better answers…"


	14. Chapter 14

C.J. drove up the winding road that led to the estate near the edge of the cliff. Redwoods loomed on both sides of the road stretching up into the sky and as she took the bends; they seemed to be closer than from where they stood.

It had been cool when she stepped into her car to head on up there but she knew when she got out at the top, the heat would rub against her face already. She hadn't heard from Matt but knowing him, he'd beaten her to the estate already and probably started talking with its grounds manager.

That's the way it had always been with him.

He had to lead, everyone had to follow or get out of the way but he'd always trusted her to watch her back on an assignment. Even now, as annoying as he could be he knew he'd do his best to keep her safe. But be damn infuriating at the same time.

She had walked out of Miranda's after her appointment and sat in the car for a while trying to get herself together to head on back home. After getting inside the house, she just collapsed on her bed to rest and next thing she knew sunlight was streaming in her window and she had to rush out of bed and get into the shower. She had to slip into her clothing, grab a simple breakfast and head out the door.

At least there hadn't been any dreams, none that she remembered and the morning sun had shown from the other side of her on towards the ocean which shimmered like a mirror that morning with the low tides.

She and Matt would be pretty much on their own at the estate. There might be some people hired to work there and an estate manager but they'd be working closely together. She wondered how that would go and how long it would take them to disagree on something, No, she planned to keep her head down and just do the work and pocket the extra pay when she finished. She didn't know what she planned to do with it like the rest of her life but it'd provide her some cushion to what she'd created. After all, how long she'd stay in the village she hadn't decided but it'd definitely be a while whether Matt liked it or not.

The gate loomed ahead, hard rod iron with elegant concrete walls, and she stopped in front of it and looked over at the monitor eye level with her car before punching in the code to activate the call box to identify herself and why she was here along with passing along some silly code word to prove her identity.

She heard the whirring of the gate opening and after it gave her plenty of berth, she drove in and went to park her car next to Matt' car. Up ahead, she saw him in his jeans and faded chambray shirt talking to some guy so she got out of her car and walked right up to them.

They stood in a grassy area that looked impressive in scope leading right to where the cliff ended. A pool and Jacuzzi were not too far away fenced in for privacy and boasting a waterfall spilling over the rocks and a cabana. The file of photos they had received had provided quite a bit of detail at least outside of the residence.

"Hey C.J. I see you made it here…"

She just shot a sharp look at Matt, masking it with a smile

"How long have you been here?"

"About ten minutes…Carlos here was just telling us about some of the schematics of the work they need done."

She stood listening as Carlos described a wonderland of different sectioned off areas of flora and other plants that would mirror different environments, including rain forest which they already had, tropic which would be more difficult and desert…that sounded nearly impossible without climate control measures.

Matt looked over at her.

"I told Carlos that some of what he asked for could be quite complicated and expensive but he insists…"

Carlos who dressed in black cut a pretty imposing figure just there looking the part.

"The man I work for has a very specific plan for this estate," he said, "You see he's a bit homesick for where he's from and this was to e a very special retreat for him."

"I see," C.J. said, "Well maybe we can walk the property and see what special needs will need to be taken care of first. It's very impressive by the way."

Carlos nodded.

"Yes, my boss looked far and wide for this property," he said, "He's just been notified of its purchase. His name's Gunthor and he's originally from the Ukraine but he owns properties everywhere."

C.J. and Matt looked at each other.

"Sounds interesting," Matt said, "Will he be here to inspect the work?"

Carlos nodded.

"He's involved in an intricate business transaction right now but it should be wrapping up soon," he said, "Then he'll be flying here to set up."

"What type of work does he do," C.J. asked.

"He's an importer," Carlos said, "He deals with the acquisition and disposal of merchandise."

C.J. knit her brow that sounded rather generic but as long as she was paid for the work, no need to ask too many questions. She looked over at Matt and he seemed to be studying Carlos carefully, his face neutral.

"Okay, I'll take you on a tour of the grounds now and you'll see what needs to be done in three dimensions."

Both Matt and C.J. fell in behind Carlos as they started walking.

* * *

><p>C.J. collapsed underneath a sprawling tree with her lunch. Damn she felt tired and the heat seared the air around her, air that had already been soaked by the ocean breeze leaving it muggy. Matt had taken off his shirt while they'd been working on preparing one area to plant perennials for a Mediterranean section, and as always, he proved to be a damn impressive sight. She had to keep herself from staring at his muscular build but doing like just wasn't an option for her.<p>

The tour of the grounds itself had been impressive. The acreage loomed widely and as they thought, ended at the jagged peaks of the cliff, creating an eye dropping view of the beaches below, and the waves that curled up. There had been an old tennis court, with cracked pavement and rusted fencing that would be ripped out and replaced by a facility more suited for martial arts and boxing than hitting a tennis ball back and forth over a net. It seemed that Gunthor had been a fighter of Olympic caliber some years back and still punched a bag and sparred to keep fit.

The pool area would have its landscaping touched up to include a plethora of bright colors from tropical flowers that she thought with some coaxing and tender care might grow in the climate. But most of what looked almost like wilderness in some places would be untouched though Gunthor had requested some manicured plots of roses surrounding a fountain.

That certainly was doable and Matt had called the nursery to start ordering some of the plants that would be part of the landscaping. C.J. just took a notepad and started mapping out different areas into grids to transfer to a computer software program later on.

And then they had started preparing a plot closest to the house…working closely together but keeping their thoughts to themselves. C.J. kept thinking back to her appointment with Miranda when she had put words to what had happened to someone else the first time.

Someone who listened until she had finished totally exhausted and barely aware that she still sat in the office and hadn't been transferred over a thousand miles away. But she felt better now and she set to work, sweating up a storm as she started shoveling the first plot closest to the mansion.

She wondered about it, how many rooms it had and who would live inside of it with its new owner. Did Gunthor have a wife and kids that would call that place home or would he house a clandestine mistress or two keeping his private life a secret from his family? Neither would shock her but she looked at the stony walls up to the windows on the second floor. She imagined that it looked majestic inside the walls, with all kinds of rooms and corridors.

After all, it had cost a pretty penny.

"Hey you are breaking all ready?"

Matt who carried a layer of dirt on him that caked on his arms walked towards her, his chest gleaming with perspiration and lightly haired. She looked up at him.

"I'm just fueling myself for this afternoon," she said, "I thought I might get the plot dug and ready to be turned over with some fertilizer tomorrow and then take another look at the pool area."

He arched his brow.

"Intend to take a dip?"

She just wrinkled her brow at him.

"Matt, I'm here to work just like you," she said, "So I'd appreciate it if you'd get off my case."

He pursed his lips.

"I'm just passing along that this Gunthor guy sounds like he wants most of the work done before he arrives."

She folded her arms.

"It'll be done if you spend time working and not getting on me."

His mouth quirked.

"Haven't done that in a while," he said, "but okay, you check out the pool. I'll map the fountain."

She nodded and then watched as he walked away and she saw him go back to talk to Carlos who'd left them alone most of the time, only occasionally checking on them. She wondered about him too, but she'd be too busy working to do much more than engage in idle curiosity.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo looked up at Milan after getting off the phone.<p>

"That's a new player in the auction," he said, "He's going to bid high enough to end it."

Milan smiled.

"You mean over $1.5 million?"

Rodrigo nodded, looking down at a photo of C.J. on a bed, just before he joined her.

"He owns over 100 brothels throughout Europe and Asia," Rodrigo said, "but he's not decided what he'll do with her if he wins."

Milan leaned against the doorway, folding his thick arms.

"Does it matter as long as she's spending the rest of her miserable life as someone's whore?"

Rodrigo frowned back at his right hand man. Yes, he wanted her to pay for what she'd done to him but this guy…he hadn't known he'd want to throw a huge wad of money for a woman like her. It didn't make sense he'd just lock her up in some whorehouse somewhere unless instead…maybe he planned to keep her for himself.

"This guy's hard on his women," he said, "She won't last very long."

Milan chuckled.

"Isn't that the way that you like it," he said, "So what if he does win her?"

Rodrigo drummed his fingers on the desk.

"That's not all of what he told me," he said, "I did share with him that the merchandise wasn't currently in our possession but was in…transit and he said not to worry about it, to leave the acquisition up to him."

Milan shook his head.

"You mean he wants to track her down."

Rodrigo nodded.

"Said that's part of the fun for him," he said, "And his bid…it's double the current price and it's probably going to be enough. It wouldn't surprise me if he's already found her…though he didn't say so."

Milan shrugged his shoulder.

"He buys her, he finds her, he makes sure she get what's coming the rest of her life," he said, "it seems that your problems are gone in one sweep."

Rodrigo nodded as if to agree but inside his mind, he didn't feel so sure.

* * *

><p>As C.J. continued working with Matt to renovate the landscaping at the mysterious estate, she wondered about the man who had just purchased it. Some rich guy with a family maybe he wanted to stash somewhere private while he set out to conquer the business world. So many power brokers like that around, those who dealt in both legal and illegal trades, others blurring the lines in between by doing both.<p>

Like Rodrigo and the men he had employed.

Carlos had continued to issue them curt instructions, some verbally but most in writing, some said to be straight from the new estate owner himself, named Gunthor. Definitely a European sounding name, possibly from what had once been the Eastern Bloc. She wondered what business he worked in and then asked herself if she really wanted to know. She and Matt were hired to do the work and not ask questions, at least not those involving the landscaping job.

But she hadn't even seen any photos of the lord of the manor as he might be called during different times. She stood there wiping her brow after preparing a plot of land to grow some perennial seedling that would be planted, which next year would produce rows of flowers in different shades of the rainbow. The soil had to be turned over and some fertilizer mixed in with it to have the nutrients required for the plants. Matt had let her pick up a hoe and shovel and handle that part of it while he surveyed what would be a mini rain forest around the waterfall and lagoon pool. He hadn't said much to her but then that'd been par for the course since they started the job. Probably would rather be paired up with Clover so they could fool around on breaks, there were certainly enough nooks and crannies on the property to guarantee privacy, not to mention what looked like an orchard that had overgrown itself with old growth but still had some fruit trees trying to survive inside its stone walls.

She wouldn't mind taking on that challenge as she thought it held some potential and Rodrigo had an orchard on his island that grew figs, olives and some wild grapes. She had met up with Matt several times in the shadows near the corners where no one could see them…just for a few stolen moments away from their assigned covers. Looking back now she couldn't believe the chances they had taken because if they'd been caught…

No she couldn't think back to those days even as her sessions with Miranda she had relived some of them.

"How's it coming along?"

She looked behind her and saw Carlos dressed in more casual attire than he usually favored standing and watching her. She brushed the dirt off of her hands on her jeans and looked back at him.

"I just finished prepping the dirt," she said, "I'll water it down a little and the seedlings will be arriving and ready to plant tomorrow."

He nodded as if the answer pleased him and she believed him to be older than she first had thought, in his forties and it was clear that the guy who he worked for had put a lot of trust into him and his abilities to oversee the renovation of his new property. He started to leave and she thought of something.

"I noticed the orchard…though it looks like no one's noticed it for a long time."

Carlos studied her and then nodded.

"Used to be mainly peaches, plums and the like," he said, "but Gunthor wants to tear them all out and replant it with other types of trees, olives and some tropical fruit."

She frowned.

"That might be tough in this temperate climate," she said, "It's cloudy too much of the year."

Carlos didn't seem too concerned.

"My boss…what he wants, he gets," he said, "You…you look smart enough to find a way to do that."

The man sounded resolute in what he told her and she knew that Gunthor would expect her to try. Maybe she could talk to Adele about some ideas to make that work when she returned to the nursery.

After Carlos nodded again at her and walked away, she looked up across the grassy lawn and saw Matt walk away from the area of the lagoon. He had taken off his shirt exposing his muscular chest sprinkled with dark hair and tanned by the sun. His jeans caked with dried dirt. She saw him talk with Carlos a moment and then head in her direction. She took a deep breath preparing herself for whatever he threw at her. It had gotten to be a way of life for her.

As he approached, he appeared to be inspecting her work. She arched a brow at him waiting for him to say something.

"How much do you have left to do?"

"Not much…it'll be ready when the seedlings arrive tomorrow."

He nodded so maybe he liked her answer.

"You'll need help planting them?"

She shook her head.

"Nah I'll be fine," she said, "I'm not the one who has to turn the pool area into a tropical paradise."

He grimaced at her words and she figured he wasn't having an easy time of it. But he could commiserate with Clover about it later on, she didn't want to listen to it.

"It's coming along," he said, "I might be able to talk Carlos into telling his boss that maybe subtropical might work better in this climate."

She wondered if he'd have any luck.

"That would work better but this Gunthor guy seems to have his mind made up on how he wants this place to look before he arrives."

Matt didn't look too impressed.

"He'll see that it's the right alternative," he said, "So what are you doing next?"

She wished he wasn't standing there talking to her like that with his shirt off. After all, she might have broken it off with him but she was still a woman, and he looked damn sexy with his jeans hanging low on his hips exposing even more of his impressive muscles.

Breathing became a little bit more difficult much to her annoyance so she looked away for a moment before answering.

"I'm going to start in on the orchard," she said, "I guess it was pretty much abandoned by the previous owner and Gunthor wants different trees put in there."

"Figures..he buys an estate and wants to remold it into something else from another place," Matt noted, "Easier said than done."

"Well he's paying us good money," she said, "to get it done."

Matt looked towards the house.

"He's having a lot of renovation done inside," he said, "Lots of movers in and out the past couple of days and construction. I heard the place needed work all the way down into the basement."

She shrugged.

"His money…probably pretty loaded it looks like."

Matt nodded obviously agreeing with her assessment.

"I wonder what he does to make so much money," he said, "and if he's really moving here."

She looked at him sighing.

"I think we'd better stop speculating about our boss and get back to the work he's given us to do."

He just looked at her for a long moment with an expression she couldn't quite read before nodding and walking away from her. She just watched him thinking that it'd be too easy at least in a physical sense to walk after him and show him at least how much her body missed him. Especially remembering about the orchard back on the island…but then she'd remember other things she had pushed out of her mind.

After all, her affair with Matt had come at a very high price.

She felt herself beginning to sweat as the sun warmed the humid air and she got up to fetch a bottle of iced tea.

Matt had walked away from her thinking how much he had wanted her just then and how she had just looked so uncomfortable to be around him. Did she really hate him that much?

He had been watching her when he had left the lagoon to fetch supplies and she had been so diligent in her work she hadn't noticed him. But he couldn't work hard enough not to notice her.

He knew he'd have to convince Carlos that tropical landscaping in the pool area might be too difficult to pull off. Maybe Carlos could convince him to change his mind but from what it seemed, Gunthor had his own idea on how to do everything, from his business to his property renovation. Matt wondered what it'd be like to finally meet him. Hopefully when Gunthor did inspect the property, he'd like the work. Matt looked at his watch and saw that he had several hours still to put in before he'd head back to the nursery. Clover had wanted him to go with her to the club to hear a jazz act tonight but all he wanted to do was go home and soak under a long hot shower…or looking over at C.J., maybe it'd have to be a cold one.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo looked over at the photos that Milan had tossed on his desk.<p>

"Very lovely," he said, "The perfect place to keep a whore."

Milan smiled at his boss.

"He's dumping a lot of money fixing it up," he said, "to be the place to hide his secrets."

Rodrigo knew the importance of that, because there were certain areas of a man's business and his life he couldn't share with anyone else not even family. Especially not family and Rodrigo kept a lot of secrets from his own wife and children who really didn't need to know more than they were told anyway. His wife never asked any questions about where he went most of the time he was away and what he was doing even now that the law had come after him. She simply remained quietly in the background in some faraway estate taking care of the children he barely knew. He had to put them away in his mind so he could focus on what he had to do to extricate himself out of this legal mess. His lawyers kept warning him that it'd be tough that he needed to lie low and lay the successful and very legally minded businessman and distance himself from his other pursuits.

But Rodrigo couldn't take that advice just yet. He had loose ends to take care of after all including that involving the bitch and her lover. As long as they lived and walked the earth as if what they'd done to his life was little consequence, he would plot their downfall until he could carry out his plan, which would be very, very soon.

Milan sighed putting the papers back in an orderly stack.

"It's a shame I could have had use for a woman like her."

Rodrigo smiled knowing that Milan had enjoyed his time with her, a gift for his loyal service but neither of them needed her at this point, all they needed for her was to pay for her crimes against them. Just the thought that it would happen soon and he'd have his signature on it made Rodrigo giddy.

Enough so to think about throwing a party, maybe the man who purchased her at auction would like it if Rodrigo threw him a housewarming. Yes, the more he thought about it, the more he became invested in that plan.

With two very special guests invited of course.


	15. Chapter 15

Matt waited for his cousin in the visiting area of the rehab center. When Matt had passed through its double doors, he'd been impressed with the facility. He'd met the doctors, the nurses and the therapists who seemed very concerned and committed to helping his cousin recover from his spinal injury. They were sensitive to his history and his PTSD diagnosis, including his therapy for that in his structured program and had taken the time to discuss Will's care and therapy with him.

Will had wanted to make the trip from L.A. to this cutting edge rehab center up in San Francisco because he wanted to get back on his feet again. Matt knew the odds were long against him and he knew that for the first few months, his cousin had fought against the surgeon's prognosis that he'd spend his life in a wheelchair. There was just no convincing him otherwise and any attempts to suggest that maybe he should create more realistic goals was met by hostility by Will just before he'd shut them out behind the wall he had erected around himself.

Matt had been familiar with that wall when he had first found Will and had brought him home, through his suicidal period when they had finally crumbled nearly sending him over the edge of a skyscraper. But over time and with much love and patience from those in his family he had made a lot of progress in addressing his demons and trying to rebuild his life and identity in a world that had changed so drastically in his absence.

But after what happened in that estate in Mexico, it had seemed as if his cousin had gone back to square one.

* * *

><p>Not during those few frantic hours when medics flown in on a chopper scurried up to put him on a stretcher and prepped him for the 30 minute helicopter ride to the trauma center. Matt had been beside him most of the time while medics stuck him with needles for IVs and monitored his vitals.<p>

"How you doing buddy…?"

Will had opened his eyes when he heard Matt's voice but they had him on his stomach and he couldn't see him.

"I don't feel any pain cuz, shouldn't I be in a lot of it?"

Matt had closed his eyes at that briefly because he knew what Will didn't and that was that he'd taken a bullet wound to the lower back. The medics had fussed over it but given that he had lead still lodged inside him, they wouldn't do much except try to insure that the bullet didn't shift its position during transit.

If Will couldn't feel anything that meant one thing, the spinal cord was involved. But whether it had been severed by the bullet or merely bruised, only a doctor could determine that and that was quite a distance away.

"Oh god…I just feel numbness…I can't feel my legs."

Matt impulsively reached over and grabbed his shoulder.

"Do you feel that…?"

He thought he saw a slight nod.

"Yes…yes I do…that's good right?"

Matt didn't know how to answer his cousin while the paramedics continued to work on getting him ready for a quick transport. Roy had gone off to make phone calls to contacts he had who knew the best neurosurgeons. The plan was to stabilize him at the trauma center and then do another quick transport to a surgical facility in San Diego to remove the bullet. His life wasn't in immediate danger and his vitals were strong.

"Where's C.J.?"

Matt had seen her being examined by a medic just as he'd been for a couple scrapes and a cut on his face that had been butterfly stitched already. He shrugged off any advice to get checked out at the hospital focused intently on his cousin.

"She'll be at the hospital with me."

The surgery had gone well within an hour of when Will had touched down in San Diego, with the hospital OR prepped and the surgical team, one of the finest waited his arrival. But the doctors' prognosis had been guarded.

The bullet had nicked Will's spinal cord in the area of the lumber vertebrae which was why he had no sensation from the waist down. The cord had swelled in response inside the spinal column that shielded it. After carefully extricating the bullet, the surgeon had treated the cord with some newer medication to help facilitate the healing process. It had shown promise in cases where there was still viable cord tissue at the area of injury.

Whether or not Will would respond to it could take weeks or months to evaluate whether the procedure had succeeded or failed. Matt had spent hours waiting with Roy and C.J. for the surgeon to come out after the surgery. He and his uncle hadn't talked much and his conversations with C.J. had been even more limited. She sat apart from him and his uncle in her seat seemingly someplace else.

Brock had joined them and expressed his regret at Will's injuries and Matt had felt anger fill him at his friend for how the operation had gone down but he was still too focused on his cousin who lay on the operating table.

Matt would have given anything that his cousin would walk again. But it wasn't up to him and that left him feeling helpless when Will remained paralyzed. Not much could be read into that at first because if he regained his legs it would still take months and a grueling regimen of physical therapy to get there.

Will had started working on his goal from the moment he woke up from surgery. It was as if the surgery, being bed ridden in the hospital were but an interruption to his life…the one he had tried to live…when the one he'd spent years trying to create inside his head to keep from going crazy hadn't panned out.

But it didn't take long for a man who had survived on patience to become inpatient with his progress and then it had gotten ugly for a while. Matt hadn't been there through much of it, he'd been traveling the globe trying to hunt down those who had put his cousin in a wheelchair.

Several months of his life spent doing that and a couple of Rodrigo's lieutenants that had eluded the dragnet were rounded up, even as their boss' team of lawyers worked around the clock to keep him from spending the rest of his life in prison or even going on death row for an untold number of murders committed on his watch.

None of which could be tied enough to him to guarantee him death by lethal injection. Some of the people Matt knew to be dead had just vanished and never been found…but not all of them.

* * *

><p>"Houston…"<p>

Matt looked up from where he sat in the waiting room and saw Will wheeling his chair to him. He'd insisted on using a manual chair so he could put all the intensive strength training in his core and upper body muscles to work.

"Will…how goes it?"

Will gestured him towards some French doors that led to a small patio outside which would afford them some privacy. The sunlight warmed them as Matt sat down to visit with his cousin.

"I'm doing better…the therapy here's so intense it's kicking my ass but I feel like it's working."

Matt sighed.

"Will…"

"Yeah I know it might not get me my legs back," Will said, "but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to get out of this chair."

Matt noticed the change in his cousin, because only a couple of months ago he'd never admit that his hard work and the surgery might not pay off the way he wanted. He'd have cut off anyone sharply who even suggested that he might not ever walk again.

"I get that Will…I know what it means to you but your job's still waiting when you get out."

Will chuckled, his hands resting on his wheels.

"Look I know you mean well but I'm not sure your line of work is for me," he said, "I might go back to focusing on my plans to be a counselor vets…maybe I'll focus on disabled vets."

Matt considered that.

"Sounds like a plan."

"There's a lot of guys who see combat who come back with shattered spines and blown off limbs," he said, "I know what it's like to have your whole world change because of what happens in a split second."

Matt looked at his hands.

"Will I'm sorry about what happened that night."

His cousin held up his hand.

"Don't apologize…I went into this knowing exactly what I was getting myself into and I could have said no."

Matt sighed.

"I did pour on some pressure and you didn't ask questions."

"Because you're my family…you and Dad and C.J…."

Matt leaned closer to him.

"We're all here for you Will, for as long as it takes," he said, "whatever life throws at you and whatever you give back to it."

Will digested that and nodded.

"My dad's been a regular since he rented that condo by the bay and C.J.'s been here a few times since she moved up here."

Matt's eyes narrowed.

"You knew about that?"

His cousin looked right back at him.

"Yeah…she dropped by after she settled in that village. She works at the nursery."

"So do I now."

Will rubbed his forehead.

"You two getting along okay?"

"We're getting along," Matt said, "She's the one putting up barriers."

"You can't change what happened and neither can she."

Matt fidgeted in his chair, the leather squeaking beneath his weight.

"I'm doing this to make sure Rodrigo and his thugs don't find her," he said, "I don't know about the rest of it."

His cousin just paused.

"You know I thought I had a real good thing going on with Deanna…that she and I…well we'd just gotten together before…"

Will's voice ebbed off. His memories of those days perhaps catching up to him…after all she hadn't stuck around him long after he started lashing out at everyone around him. Matt had missed that part of it while searching for Rodrigo's men.

"She really left you."

"Not really," Will said, "I pushed her away. I guess she could only take so much before she said she needed to give me some space. But I haven't heard from her."

Matt remembered that day they had spent together on the boat just before the assignment. A deep affection seemed to exist between the counselor and his cousin. But it's not like he'd been around to see what had gone wrong.

By the time he had gotten back to L.A., C.J. had already taken off not leaving much about why or where she'd headed.

"What about you and C.J.?"

Matt blinked his eyes at his cousin's question.

"What about us? I tracked her down with the news about Rodrigo and she told me to keep away from her."

Will shook his head.

"Matt, I know we missed a lot of years together but I never took you to be such a jackass when we were growing up back in Texas."

"What did you just call me?"

Will didn't retreat but then that wasn't exactly his style.

"You heard me cuz… This whole attitude you have towards her now," he said, "As if she did something wrong."

Matt shook his head dismissively.

"She didn't do anything wrong and I never said that she did."

Will remained quiet for a long moment as they sat there together, the only sound being birds flying in and out of the tree branches.

"You don't blame her for what happened to me do you?"

Matt shook his head.

"No…I blame Rodrigo for that but after what happened when you needed us, where was she?"

Will sighed and Matt saw more than a little anger defining his features then.

"Now hold on cuz…what the hell kind of question was that?"

"A fair question actually," Matt said, "I mean she was there but not really…and then she just took off one night."

Will just stared at him.

"So did you…you left town in your jet to go hunt down Rodrigo's men and no one knew when you were coming back."

Matt sighed again.

"That was different, they had to pay for what they did and the feds didn't seem interested in tracking them down."

"So you thought you'd try…to go out and find them and bring them in to custody like some commando."

"Someone had to and once they caught up with Rodrigo, Brock and his agents seemed to forget about everyone else."

Will shrugged.

"He was the big player Houston, and he could lead them to the rest if they could get him to cooperate."

Matt shook his head.

"He didn't seem interested in doing that and that was before his lawyer got him out of jail and he disappeared."

"Anyway while you were gone, C.J. put up with a lot of what I was dishing out to everyone when things weren't going so good."

Matt narrowed his eyes at his cousin.

"What do you mean?"

Will looked away for a moment.

"I'm not proud of the way I acted when I thought I might never get better," he said, "I got really depressed and I got really angry…at everything and everybody. You know Deanna had dropped out of sight…kind of my fault for pushing her away but well, C.J. got a lot of that too."

Matt stroked his jaw with his finger, thinking back to those days which he'd missed. He'd been too busy moving; too busy tracking down leads in hopes of finding some bad guys that hadn't been busted after the feds finally broke up the party.

"But she put up with it, I don't know why. She came back even during the time I told her not to bother and when I tried to bait her, she just wouldn't bite except…"

Matt listened to his cousin talking about all that he'd missed out when he'd been out on his hunt. By the time he'd returned, something had changed with his cousin, something that had left him with a better outlook.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Will shook his head.

"I'm not blaming you cuz. If it weren't for you and the others, I'd still be in that hellhole rotting away. Now I'm back with my family and even if I never get out of this chair, I'd never change anything."

Matt knew his cousin spoke honestly with him on that fully aware of the challenges and struggles which still lay ahead. But then Will had been a survivor, he'd had to be just to make it until someone came to find him.

"But you Houston…you've really made a mess of your own life over what happened."

Matt felt defensiveness tense his muscular frame. He tried to control the tone of his voice not wanting to get into it with him.

"How so…?"

Will paused a moment choosing his words.

"You have a woman out there who loves you and you love her…now don't deny it because I knew you both before I went missing and afterward. And I saw the two of you on that boat that day."

"That was then Will."

"Yeah well, when I returned to civilization out of that hellhole, I saw how things between you had changed from way back when. Then you went and got engaged to Elizabeth and I thought this guy just doesn't get it."

Matt bristled when that subject came up.

"I loved Elizabeth…it just never would have worked out between us and we were smart enough to figure that out before the wedding got crashed."

Will snorted.

"Yeah right cuz… I'd hoped that was when you figured out that you need a woman who can handle you and love you even when you run off chasing danger."

"I don't chase danger…I'm an investigator, it goes with the territory."

Will nodded.

"I understand that but I also know that you enjoy that part of it and that'll scare a lot of women."

"I think it scares C.J. sometimes."

Will shrugged.

"But she works alongside you and she's had a few close calls herself based on what I heard."

Matt flinched when the litany of them ran through his head. She'd been shot three times and it had gotten harder for him each time even though she seemed to shake her injuries off and returned to the field after the surgeon cleared her.

"Yeah well…you nearly got killed with this last assignment."

Will grew silent then, just resting his hands again on his wheel chair and making little movements back and forth.

"Houston, did you ever talk to her about what she experienced that night?"

Matt blinked his eyes.

"Of course…the assignment was a bust and we did try to sit down and reassess…"

"No cuz, that's not what I mean and I think you know it."

Will just looked straight at him and he called it right, Matt did know what he was talking about it but he didn't want to get into it now.

"No she hasn't said much about it."

"Did you ask…and I mean nicely like you give a damn?"

Matt felt the anger rise up inside him and he forced it down. Why did Will have to ask him something ridiculous like that? Of course he cared about his best friend; he had the time he'd known her. But right now, it was almost like she didn't want him around, like she hated him. No, that was probably too strong a word to use but he didn't recognize the woman he'd known nearly forever.

She'd become a stranger to him.

"She doesn't invite questions, in fact she's told me to go to hell a few times."

Will's mouth quirked into a slight smile.

"You probably deserved it," he said, "I thought she'd do the same to me a time or two but she didn't. Probably doesn't feel as comfortable doing that with me as she does with you."

Matt sighed.

"She's not the woman that I knew…it's like I came back and everything completely changed."

Will sighed.

"You're right about that," he said, "I've changed…she's changed. It's what you do when survival comes first."

Matt furrowed his brow. He did get what his cousin meant by that, had been in that situation a few times himself including back in the military.

"I understand that…"

"Do you?"

Matt nodded.

"Then maybe you can cut her some slack and let her make her own decisions."

"Even if she makes the wrong one and it gets her killed, or worse she disappears forever?"

Will folded his arms looking at his cousin.

"That night…what's it done to you Houston? Given you bad dreams? We already knew it drove you across the globe."

Matt remained silent a long moment but finally responded…his voice a bit jagged.

"We went in with a plan and then everything went south…Carlton got killed…Anna…"

He put his head in his hands just then and Will just sat there waiting, showing the patience that had gotten him through so much.

"There was nothing you…or I could do about that," he said, "Everything happened so fast…didn't even know I got hit at first and that they'd taken the women to the back."

Matt pursed his lips as he remembered that too, but so much had been happening, and his first instinct had been to kneel beside his cousin who lay on the rug, his blood staining it quickly. Roy had more focus, more control and had somehow gotten them to stop from finishing Will off and C.J...

She'd been the calmest of all of them even while Milan and Dash had taken her out of the room leaving the men alive or dead alone.

Matt hadn't seen her after that, not until the siege had been broken up by the feds who had finally got wind that something had gone horribly wrong with their perfect strategic plan and had begun some form of communication with Rodrigo.

Even though they hadn't been willing to negotiate…most of the talking had been done by one of Rodrigo's own lieutenants named Nikita.

"Yeah it was hard to know what happened when it did," Matt said, "and then those hours after when the feds were trying to get us out of there."

Will paused.

"They sure did a lousy job of it didn't they?"

* * *

><p>Matt remembered back to that night while his cousin lay pale and still on the floor and there wasn't anything he could do once he realized that at least he wouldn't bleed to death. Roy had found some towels behind the wet bar and they had let Matt use them to staunch any blood flow but it seemed that the bullet lodged near his spine had done most of that. Still, Matt knew enough from his rudimentary medic training that any sudden or wrong movement of Will could change all that and maybe even kill him.<p>

"Will…you just stay right here with us," Matt said, "We missed so much time already…don't die on us."

He hadn't known if Will could hear him. He didn't know that Roy had been trying to coolly assess their new situation even as his son lay shot and he didn't know where the hell they had taken C.J.

Rodrigo and Milan had been in and out of where they were, standing over them and telling them that stunt would get them killed as soon as they found an exit plan in a mansion surrounded by armed feds.

"You thought you were so smart coming here and thinking you could take my property," Rodrigo said, still holding his gun, "but now you're going to die in here all of you…well maybe not everyone."

Matt gritted his teeth.

"This man needs to get to a hospital…if he dies, they'll put you up on murder charges and you'll go to the death chamber."

Rodrigo didn't look impressed.

"No…he's going to die here and there's nothing you can do about it," he said, "Then you'll die the moment you're no longer needed to get us out of here. Your girlfriend on the other hand…I haven't decided."

Matt had frozen inside when he heard Rodrigo mention C.J.

"If you hurt her…"

Rodrigo put his hand up.

"Far from it…she's sitting comfortably with the other women in the entertainment room," he said, "Probably discussing inconsequential topics…but if the feds play their cards right, we might release them."

Matt had closed his eyes then, thinking of C.J. being released safely on the outside.

"I never thought he'd lie about that."

"About what…?"

Matt took a deep breath and then released it.

"About releasing the women…"

* * *

><p>Matt had left Will not long after that but remembered his cousin's words. He promised he'd be back to see him and he knew that he would be soon. His cousin wheeled the chair alongside him as he walked back to the double door entrance to the building.<p>

"Hey go easier on her," Will said, "Remember what they taught you in football."

"What's that?"

"That sometimes the best defense is a better offense…remember that the next time she comes at you."

"I'll try to remember but you haven't seen her like I have lately."

Will stopped suddenly as they stood near the parking lot.

"That's where you're wrong cuz," he said, "You see I know what's going on with her. She told me."

Matt was stunned by his cousin's words.

"She did what?"

"You heard me. I forced it out of her and as soon as she told me, I hated myself for doing it."

Matt ran a hand through his hair.

"Then tell me…what's going on…what the hell happened that night?"

Will shook his head slowly.

"I promised her I wouldn't and I meant it Houston," he said, "You're going to have to get her to tell you and you've already damn close to making that impossible for her."

Matt sighed.

"I'm not trying to hurt her."

Will smiled.

"I know cuz…believe me I do but I hurt a woman I cared about enough to push her away," he said, "Don't do the same with C.J. You've got so much together, you could still have everything…but the ball's in your court and you got to use to wisely. You lose her…she's not coming back."

Matt sobered after listening to Will, knowing down to his marrow that his cousin spoke the truth.

"You have a choice here. You can either be right and lose her or you can be the man I know you are and be the one taking the risks here…because if you love her even if it's just as your best friend, you owe her that."

"Will…"

"You owe yourself that too."

Then he wheeled back in the building leaving Matt alone.


	16. Chapter 16

C.J. sat on the beach, an iced tea bottle in hand. After her session with Miranda, she hadn't wanted to hit anything harder. Despite what Matt might think, she was being careful now that she knew Rodrigo was hunting for her.

But she had her life to live too and for her, that meant building a new one away from everything that she'd known at least for now. If Matt would just understand…and go back home to where he belonged.

To a place that remained home for him.

Miranda as usual had left her with plenty to think about after the session. She never spoke that much just listened and interjected a question every once in a while but she gave her these assignments…not at all what C.J. had expected when she started seeing her. She thought she'd spend her hour lying on the couch and then walk away when her time was up. But she had to jot things in this notebook about how she felt and Miranda left her with these questions which didn't always make sense until she thought about them later on.

Like right now.

A vision flashed in her head of when she had heard the gunshot and saw Will collapse on the floor, on his stomach. A stain appearing on his back through his shirt, and she saw the look on Matt's face when his eyes fell on his cousin, his body tensing because he wanted to stop the man who had just coldly aimed his gun at his back and shot him down.

But if he did, more people might die and that's what stopped him. His years of training as a military soldier and later in his investigative work…even when it nearly killed him… She knew that Matt being an action had to rein himself in hard at times like when she'd been shot while they both were trying to extricate a young heiress from a religious cult. The pain had nearly broken her and would have if he hadn't been there to coax her with his voice and his touch to not slip away.

Damn she had needed him to live then and he'd been there, he'd risked his own life to save hers and he'd been there, scruffy looking with a face laced with stubble which she traced with her finger.

But he'd been there holding her hand helping to guide her back.

She felt more adrift now than she had back then. What had happened to her hadn't been much different than being shot. But not quite because it's not like a few hours on the operating table would save her.

The sun was beginning to sink towards the horizon where it would turn into glorious shades of red, orange and finally a tinge of pinkish purple until darkness took over. The winds had died down and the ocean appeared like a disc in front of her, perfect to look out and watch for hours.

The dune she sat on had been created by the last winter storm and now provided her a means to see around her, and to be seen.

The sound of the gunshot just stayed with her, reverberating inside her head and Matt…she'd seen him look helpless before but it tore deeply inside her to see him then looking at his cousin. She'd pushed aside her own horror and shock to force calmness in her voice because she knew he needed that.

"Houston…no…"

He had looked at her after she spoke quietly to him and he had nodded slightly. He knew that anything he did might put everyone in jeopardy. She knew that his experience and extensive training would take over his emotions.

Rodrigo turned towards her.

"What did you tell him?"

She just stared at him.

"You want him to give you trouble or do you want to get out of here?"

Rodrigo approached her.

"I want you to shut up and go with Milan to join the other women," he said, "I'm not done here."

C.J. felt torn when he said that because she didn't want to leave Matt or the others…she didn't know what Matt would do.

"Milan…."

The other man came over and she knew she had the choice to fight or so with him but she also knew she had no choice. Rodrigo reached out his hand to stroke a tendril of her hair while she fought to stay still.

"I'll see you later…."

Then Milan had taken her away and she hadn't seen Matt again until…

* * *

><p>"Is this seat taken?"<p>

She looked up and saw Duke approach her wearing his faded jeans and beach shirt. She still didn't know much about him but she liked it that way.

"Nice day to come out to the beach?"

She nodded, liking the way the heat of the sun stroked her skin and the memories of the day slipped away. He sat down right next to her.

"So how's the job at the estate going?"

"It's going fine…the place is beautiful. It just got neglected for a while but it'll come back with some hard work."

"The trustee just sold it not too long ago."

C.J. brushed a tendril of hair off of her face.

"Yeah to some wealthy guy," she said, "Don't know much about him really. Just that he's got a whole lot of cash he's spending fixing the place up like some tropical paradise."

"Really…?"

"Oh yeah, he's renovating the pool area into a lagoon with exotic plants that will be difficult to grow here but he's not pulling any stops."

"Met him?"

She shook her head.

"Not yet…Don't know if he's living alone, has a family with him or is going to use it to hole up with some mistress."

Duke smiled.

"A man of mystery…wouldn't be the first in this town," he said, "Sometimes people come here to lie low for a while."

"I suppose so…it seems like a nice place to get away from the rest of the world."

He gazed at her suddenly from where he sat.

"Is that why you're here…I was born and raised her so I always knew it was home."

She looked away from him out into the ocean.

"I have a whole other life Duke…I just needed some time away."

"A guy was involved in that life right?"

She nodded looking down at her hands.

"Yeah …and he's here now…you've met him."

Duke nodded.

"This Houston guy…the one who's seeing Clover."

She nodded.

"That was some time ago."

"Doesn't seem that long ago to me…"

She just looked out into the ocean again.

"Sometimes it seems like forever…"

* * *

><p>They'd gone to the market in town even though it had been raining. Just one of those squalls off of the ocean that rose up in the afternoons. She'd just thrown on a summer dress which was bright with color and molded to her figure before she and Matt had left the bungalow.<p>

They'd gotten in the car and drove down the winding road that led away from the coast briefly and through some low riding hills where there was lush forest and occasionally men leading cows across the road. There were quite a few farms and ranches interspersed with the rain forest. It'd been idyllic at times even though they knew they'd come down here with a job to do. Now they were going to pick up the latest specs from a flower shop in town.

"You think he's arrived yet."

Matt knew she was talking about Rodrigo. The latest intelligence had been that he'd been set to leave his compound in Venezuela for the Rivera. The party was just a couple days away. C.J. had just purchased her dress and she and Matt had been going over and over again their action plan. In between time spent doing other things of course.

"Should be on his way anyway," he said, "They'll be tailing him from the time he does touch down."

She gazed outside the window at the scenery. Her silence must have attracted his attention.

"You are having second thoughts?"

She turned her face to look at him, noting the lines of concern on his face. The same one that had opened its eyes and looked at her this morning when the stream of sunlight coming through the blinds reached the bed they shared.

"No…it's just that operations like this always leave me a little nervous when we don't do all the planning."

"Yeah I know…but we're in good hands with Brock and his agents," he said, "and the information at the estate could be devastating if it fell into wrong hands."

Like Rodrigo's. But they didn't know what was in all that they needed to find once they hit the party. Brock had read off a list of documents, flash drives, CDs like it wouldn't require breaking a sweat to collect it all. That was going to be her job because the men would all be accounted for doing the dealing and the women would be sent off to amuse themselves somewhere.

"I don't know Houston…I don't know him like you do."

The leather seat of the car squeaked as he shifted his position.

"What's there to know C.J.," he said, "Brock and I go way back…I met him at Rice on the team and then when Will and I went to the Middle East he was assigned in Bagdad with me."

In the green zone but spending most of their time out of it, C.J. thought, remembering that there had been much danger in Matt's assignment and Will hadn't even made it back with him.

"He also helped me try to track down Will," Matt said, "and last year, his information helped me know where to find him."

C.J. hadn't known that part but if that were the case, then Matt would feel like he owed him big time. But the prickling on the back of her neck wouldn't go away and she felt fear, which had no place in this kind of job and it wasn't even mostly for herself…

She was afraid for the man next to her because something had happened that she swore would never happen. Something she'd fantasized about often somewhere inside her mind in a safe place but somehow it had all become real.

But the reality had put the speculation of what it'd be like to get involved with him in its proper place. After all, she and Matt had spent hours last night in bed, running their hands over each other, letting their fingers memorize each other's planes, lines and she smiled to herself just thinking about it. It was times like then when she could forget the danger of what lay ahead but in the morning, it all came back.

"I just don't know Houston…these past few days…"

He reached over to drift his fingers over the back of her neck, caressing the skin there which made her tingle inside.

"Yeah I know…

And she knew he understood quickly that somehow in the past week, what had started with a few looks and even fewer words had upped the stakes quite a bit in ways neither anticipated.

They'd reached the town and C.J. had gone to do some shopping in the open market, where farmers brought their produce including tropical fruits while Matt went to pick up the specs. She felt the warm humidity in the air around her that was progressing towards stifling heat. A swim in the ocean when they returned might help relieve that. She watched as mostly women inspected what was on sale trailed by smaller children and she smiled.

A few tougher looking men dressed in dark clothes stood near a building talking with each other and she wondered who they were but soon enough Matt returned and she smiled at him as he slipped his hand in her own and they continued shopping for some food.

Just like an ordinary couple on holiday even if that weren't the truth. No they were there to do a job and what had erupted between them, that was just part and parcel of working on the edge miles away from home. Wasn't it…and what would happen to them when they did go back to L.A.?

"I got the info C.J.," he told her, "Everything's proceeding right on schedule."

She nodded silently, her stomach tightening. Somehow she didn't find his update reassuring but she swallowed away her concerns and trepidation and focused on the here and now in this reality where she and her lifelong friend had found their way to each other.

If only for a little while.

* * *

><p>C.J. sighed as she remembered those simple moments while sitting months later and miles away on a beach she'd never seen until more recently. The man who sat beside her hadn't said anything in a while. Suddenly, she looked up and saw him walking down the beach, close to the edge of where the waves broke and heading towards her, dressed in faded jeans and one of his University athletic shirts.<p>

Her eyes stung a little bit watching him, because she remembered them walking down a beach together in gentler times.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo sat near the phone in his office, the one inside the building that no one would ever think to look for him. He'd paid enough of the right people money stashed away in one of his many international accounts to keep their lips sealed and to keep the feds away from him. Let them go look under every rock and behind every corner, all futile efforts because he had no intention of going back to jail to await trial.<p>

Milan walked into the room.

"Two million dollars," he said, "That's the final price for your little whore."

Rodrigo smiled and nodded.

"Good work…now if we could just track her down."

"Not to worry…the buyer said his guys already have a fix on her," Milan said, "He'll handle it from here but he's open to the party."

Rodrigo frowned.

"How did they find her so fast?"

Milan sat in the chair in front of him.

"You know they're the best at tracking," he said, "You used him a time or two yourself."

Yes, Rodrigo thought, back in the simpler days before the competition of fighting for a piece of the narcotics trade had split most of the original cabal up into different splinter groups. They still had a loosely tied syndicate but more and more, they were running up against the human traffickers and this guy had been a rising star quickly amassing quite an impressive resume of brothels and whorehouses all over, first Eastern Europe and then outward to the rest of the continent and then into Africa and Asia.

"What are his plans for her?"

Rodrigo shrugged.

"I imagine he'd want to keep her for his private collection," he said, "and maybe put her on a timeshare."

Milan chuckled.

"He said he'll keep us updated and tell us when he does pick her up."

"And what about her boyfriend…?"

"He did mention something about him being close to her," Milan said, "He'll take him off of your hands."

Rodrigo sighed.

"I plan to be there when that happens…at this party."

Milan nodded.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," he said, "I also talked with our suppliers in Mexico…they're shipping some more product into the country."

"Good… I want my business rivals to know that I'm back in business…that the feds have not succeeded in shutting me down."

Milan leaned forward.

"You'll need to be discreet so they don't track you down."

Rodrigo chuckled.

"I've taken many measures to make sure they'll never do that. I have no intention of spending the rest of my life in prison and what I'm looking forward is to making sure those who thought they could break me pay for it."

* * *

><p>Matt saw C.J. sitting with Duke and didn't think he liked that much. But then what could he say about it because of the way he'd been acting? His cousin Will had a way of putting him in his place now, just as he had in the old days. He'd thought about his words on the drive back to his place. Then he hadn't stayed there long before deciding to take a walk on the beach. He had run about eight miles through the foothills that morning so he'd gotten his workout in and just wanted to unwind from the day. He'd been relieved to see that Will's outlook on the latest obstacle that life had thrown him had brightened but he hadn't known until today that when he'd taken off, his cousin had been so emotionally fragile. No joke considering his history since he'd been liberated from the war lord.<p>

But he hadn't noticed that so intent he'd been on catching up with the bad guys, killing a couple of them and yet still failing to catch up to them. Like Milan and Nikita who still remained at large.

Seeing her there made his throat swell up as if he couldn't breathe for a moment. She dressed casual and her hair blew gently around her face from the sea breezes. The most beautiful woman he'd known only he'd taken it for granted for so long.

Her skin silky soft like her hair and her mouth intoxicating, burning his skin one moment and soothing it the next, driving him to distraction. What happened between him had been so intense that even their professionalism hadn't been able to rein it in; in the atrium surrounded by tropical plants or in the empty office or…he knew that had just made it more dangerous to him. But that hadn't been her fault, the feelings she elicited from him and the judgment lapses. He's been there too.

Even right now watching her from a distance, all he wanted to do was to sweep her into his arms, carry her to a secluded spot by the dunes and peel that clothing off of her while his lips tasted her tangy skin. It'd be too easy to let everything else that had come between them slip away like the tides and make love to her as if the world hadn't collapsed around them that night.

He swallowed hard as he approached her and she looked up at him. That mixture of too many emotions to separate out and define in her eyes, her body tensed and he didn't know if she'd stay or take off.

"Houston…"

* * *

><p>Those long hours turning into days after the siege had been the hardest.<p>

Will had been rushed off on a stretcher surrounded by a medical team to the OR and when Matt had tried to follow, the surgeon had blocked his path. They'd all traveled from one hospital to another where a team awaited.

"We'll handle it from here," the man said brusquely, "You go wait in the room over there."

Then the double doors had closed and Matt had turned to look at Roy and went to join his uncle for the all too familiar vigil. C.J. hadn't been there and he had no idea where she was, not having seen her much during the past frantic hours where his attention had been focused on his cousin.

When he looked up at some point and finally did see her, she was in a chair across the room, her feet tucked beneath her and her arms wrapped around herself. She no longer wore her black dress but had changed into some old jeans and a sweatshirt having changed on the Lear Jet. Brock had gone off to get them all some coffee and Matt watched him offer it to C.J. but when she looked up at him, she just shook her head.

She didn't look friendly but then maybe all the tension in the room then had defined her reactions to people. She certainly didn't say much to him until later on, they all gathered around the surgeon who told them just like she'd kept to herself on the plane ride. For the several hour flight, she'd just stared out the window quietly not noticing him sitting next to her and on the drive from the airport to the hospital she'd just sat and listened to him and Brock make small talk.

The news had been guarded; that the surgeons had removed the bullet from Will's spine but with all the bruising and swelling only time would tell. Roy had gone with a nurse to recovery to sit with his son while Matt and C.J. had gone back to the hotel. She had gone into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, and he heard her run the shower for quite a while. But then there hadn't been much time for them to clean up after the siege had ended.

She emerged later wearing some sweats that she had bought from the hotel with the insignia on them and gone to the couch in the suite. He'd gone to join her but as he tried to slip his arm around her, she flinched.

"No…please…I just need some space."

He nodded and retreated thinking that they were both coming down from what had happened, the siege, the raid and then the hours spent not knowing what would happen to Will. But she just curled herself up tighter, closing herself off to him.

And that had only been the beginning.

If he had known then that it wasn't a temporary reaction on her part, he might have been more assertive in finding out what had changed between them. When she had retreated to her bedroom at night, she'd gone alone. He hadn't pressed the issue because he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't welcome him.

Now months later, she had pulled so inside herself, had become a mystery to him that he had reacted badly to what had come between them. He didn't know what that was; no he knew it had a lot to do with Rodrigo. After all, the description about the woman he put up for auction had included a tattoo that Matt figured most people didn't know existed. He did because he had discovered it while easing her underwear off of her and then had traced it with his finger, never even guessing that the professional lawyer who's always been his best friend would ever get a tattoo.

It had been one of a few surprises she had in store for him.

She got up when she saw him now and brushed her pants with her hands. Duke stood up too and looked at Matt.

"Hi there…"

Matt said hi and then looked over at C.J. who gave him a small smile while digging her hands in her pockets.

"I need to talk to you but if now's not a good time…"

Duke sighed.

"I'm getting ready to leave," he said, "I got to get in some more hours back at the store."

Matt nodded and C.J. said bye to him as he took off down the beach and then she turned to face him. Her face looking guarded and her posture still more rigid than he'd like but he knew he was partly responsible for that.

She just stood there watching him and then she folded her arms.

"Okay, what do you need to talk about Houston?"


	17. Chapter 17

Here's the latest installment of this FF. Hope you enjoy reading it. Stats are down so i have no idea if anyone's reading it, lol. But I've enjoyed writing it.

* * *

><p>C.J. looked at the man she'd known most of her life and folded her arms, waiting for him to speak.<p>

"I mean you got my attention."

Matt just looked at her standing there, her hair blowing in the soft breeze and bit her lip. He remained quiet for a moment as if gathering himself.

"What'd I do wrong now?"

His eyes narrowed at her.

"Nothing…you didn't do anything wrong."

She nodded.

"Good…then what," she said, "What do you have to say to me that doesn't involve it being my fault for something I did or didn't do?"

He sighed.

"I went and visited Will."

She relaxed and smiled a little bit.

"That's great…how's he doing," she said, "That rehab center looks great."

Matt nodded.

"He's doing well…working really hard to get out of his chair."

"I hope he does…but life doesn't always work out the way you want."

She looked out at the ocean again, the waves breaking gently on shore. Birds flying to and from the water.

"I think he's prepared for that," he said, "He just wants to give it his best shot and if it doesn't give him his legs back at least he tried."

"True…I want the best for him," she said, "He's had such a tough life…hasn't had much time to breathe."

Matt nodded and they both knew what Will had been facing even after getting rescued. Readjusting to a world which had moved leaps and bounds past him had been rough for him even without his near suicide. But things had been looking up for him in recent months, going back to school and meeting Deanna…before it came crashing down again.

"He deserves to be happy Houston," she said, "If anyone does, it's him."

She felt the sadness in her voice but she knew that the only way to survive life was to deal with the blows that it sent you, to try to wrestle the best you could with its challenges. And Will had a family who loved him to support him in his struggles. Matt just looked at her and she didn't know what he was thinking right now.

"Yeah he does…but what about you?"

His question startled her and she just stared back at him. His eyes told her that he wanted an answer but her own mind was coming up with an exit strategy. He seemed aware of that.

"C.J. don't go…I know that's what you're going to do."

Damn, she thought, but after all he knew her very well and she knew him better than she knew anyone else. But her body just tensed up.

"Why…why are you asking me about whether or not I deserve to be happy," she said, "What does that mean anyway, why does it come down to who does or doesn't deserve a good life?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and she knew that her question had irked him.

"How long have we known each other?"

She just looked at him when he asked that but his eyes had that way of seeking out the part of her that few people knew existed.

"Since we were kids…since my parents died and I moved from Austin to live with that family outside of Houston."

The state had made her their ward because her parents hadn't left any arrangements for her care in case anything happened to them and didn't have any known living relatives. So she'd spent some time in a group home before they matched her up with the Butlers. When she moved onto their ranch, they put her to work immediately as another hand but she had gone to the local school and that's where she'd met Matt and Will.

"Yeah…you beat up that bully on the playground," Matt said, "because he made fun of your parents."

She shrugged.

"They were gone but you don't have much if you don't have family," she said, "That matters more than anything."

Matt nodded. His father had meant the world to him growing up even though he'd been away from home base much of the time on business trips.

"C.J…you still have a family. You have Uncle Roy, Will and you have me."

She tilted her face looking at him warily.

"You've been talking to Will haven't you," she said, "about what happened that night."

He sighed.

"He mentioned that you talked to him about it but he didn't say anything specifically."

She exhaled her body relaxing because she hadn't wanted him to know what she hadn't told him. But she kept waiting for him to say something which would lead her to tell him to get out of her face and back to L.A. After all, wasn't that the game that they'd been playing since he tracked her down?

"Some things about me aren't for you to know Houston."

He didn't like the sound of that. She could tell by reading the lines that just etched themselves in his face. The one that she loved looking at as they lay side by side underneath the sheets. She loved tracing its features with her fingertips reading him in a whole new way.

Not to mention the way he looked at her…the way he used to look at her.

"What's going on here C.J.," he said, "It wasn't long ago we were closer than we'd ever been since we met."

True, and when she spent that week with him on the Mexican Rivera, she felt closer to him than she ever had with anyone. Wrapped in his warmth, his soft breath against her skin she felt so safe, so wanted. Like nothing bad could ever happen to her or to them. Wishful thinking as it turned out because he hadn't been able to protect her at all.

"That was then, this is now Houston," she said, "and I need my space…I need you to just leave…because looking at you…"

She stopped then and turned her back to him, shutting him out. Hoping that when she turned around, he'd be gone like a magician's trick. But instead, she felt his hand on her shoulder to turn her around to face him again and she pulled away, harshly enough to make him drop his hands.

"Hey C.J…"

She shook her head.

"Just don't touch me….please…."

His eyes blinked at that word because it's the first time she'd said it to him since he got here.

"Okay…I don't know what's going on with you," he said, "Did you tell Duke to keep his hands off of you…what about the guy at the club?"

She felt anger fill her, so not needing to watch a man who had once been her lover pull the jealousy act in front of her. Acting as if he'd owned her at one time because she'd invited him in her bed and inside more than just her body…

"Just stop it Houston," she said, "You've got no right to tell me who can touch me and who can't."

He paused for a long moment as she watched him.

"Did I say I did?"

She ran a hand through her hair.

"What did you want to ask me Houston?"

She'd listen to him as long as she could stand it and then she'd walk away from him. Watching him, she saw something there that he knew that she might try to run. Tough, if he thought he could stop her.

"I was wondering if you'd go out with me sometime."

Her eyes widened, not what she'd been expecting. She thought he might have come up with some new reason why her actions had messed up that assignment not to be asked out on a date.

"Why Houston…we haven't even really spoken to each other since…"

He sighed.

"I took off to look for Rodrigo's men."

She brushed a strand of hair back.

"I know…"

"You weren't there when I came back."

She pursed her lips studying his face. Nice of him to point that out but then again, she'd already said everything she had to say before he left.

"Houston…I just had to get out of L.A…Some of Rodrigo's men almost caught up with me there."

"I know and I should have been there to protect you."

She snorted.

"Protect me…I don't need that. You can't protect me…you can't protect Will…and you just need to accept that."

His jaw clenched again. She knew just how much he didn't like being told that he couldn't stop bad things from happening to those he loved. But he wasn't superman and she was no longer the woman he'd known for years. She looked in the mirror in the mornings and a lot of the time saw a stranger staring back at her.

"C.J…"

She put one of her hands up.

"No…just don't…don't act like you think you know what's going on here…because you don't."

"I want to…so why don't you tell me?"

She looked at him a long moment, because a part of her wanted to tell him, wanted everything she'd kept inside of her to spill out in all its ugliness. But then when he looked at her, would that be what he saw? Then he would know how much she really changed from the woman who'd spent a week in his bed in Mexico.

"No…this just isn't a good idea for us to pretend that all this didn't happen…that we're still back in that beach in Mexico."

His face softened.

"We're still best friends aren't we just like we've always been?"

She didn't know how to respond to that because the damage that had been done to their tightly woven relationship built on years spent together in good times and bad. But she missed what they had shared so much only there was no going back for either of them was there? Too much had been said…and done.

"C.J…"

She sighed.

"I don't know Houston. I just don't know about anything anymore and I don't trust what I thought I knew."

She saw something that looked like sadness move quickly inside of him. A second she saw it clearly in his eyes, the next…like she'd imagined it.

"You can trust me."

"Can I? Since that night you've been on the offensive Houston," she said, "as if I did something horribly wrong…like put Will in that wheelchair."

His voice grew quieter.

"You didn't do that but you haven't been honest with me about what did happen," he said, "I know I was so focused on Will…"

"Houston you had to be, he just got shot in front of both of us."

"Yeah everything fell apart so quickly…and the feds left us hanging while they tried to negotiate to get us released."

She nodded.

"Only Rodrigo and his men…they're not interested in bargaining for what they want."

He couldn't argue with that, so he just stood there. Indecisive which he hated, being a man of action sometimes on the turn of a dime when a life was in danger…but right now he stood frozen. She saw something in his eyes which made her think that he had figured out a few things since she'd last seen him. Since he visited Will…

"Houston, let's just forget about it," she said, "I'll see you tomorrow at the estate."

She turned around to go and he didn't try to stop her this time at least not with his hand.

"C.J…what happened with him," he asked, "What happened after they separated us?"

She stopped just then, her insides feeling cold suddenly, the darkness threatening to shut out the sunlight around them. She couldn't face him, even though she knew his eyes implored her to do that. Her body just wouldn't cooperate.

"Houston…just let it go okay," she said, "What happened in the past can't ever be changed. We just have to put it behind us and go on with the future."

"You didn't answer my question."

And that made her turn around to glare at him, her eyes flashing.

"Yes it did…"

She walked away from him then and he didn't do anything to stop her.

Matt sighed as he watched her walk back towards where the beach met the bike trail and the parking lot. His head swum as he tried to digest what had just happened. The woman who left him didn't look like the stubbornly hostile C.J. he'd met when he arrived her, nor was she the coolly detached woman who'd walked out of the siege in Mexico. The one who had pushed away every emotion she'd had just before she pushed every person away with clipped words and chilly silence.

No he'd just met someone else who baffled him just as much. Someone a bit closer to the woman that he had loved and made love to but just when he thought she might be letting him in, she pushed back even harder.

The moment he mentioned Rodrigo and the time she'd spent away from Matt and the others while they dealt with the crisis of Will's injury.

She's always had a stubborn streak, back to the day he'd met her in the schoolyard. She'd just put away the toughest bully in their class with some deft punches and when the kids had gathered around her like she was their hero, she had just shaken her head at everyone and walked off to go find her book that the bully had snatched out of her hands.

Matt had found it first and picked it off the ground, looking at the well worn cover and seeing that it had been by Charles Dickens. He then dusted it off with his shirt careful not to crease it further and walked over to give it back.

When she saw him, she just looked him over carefully and then took it from him, offering him the briefest of smiles. She then thanked him politely and headed back to the tables to resume reading while the kids around her played. He'd gotten to know her slowly after that, helped greatly by the fact that they lived on neighboring ranches. She'd worked as hard as any grown man, rode better than most on her paint mare and over time, they became close friends. Matt had his own scars to deal with including his childhood kidnapping that left him fearful at night, something he hid from most everyone around him.

But not her, and as they spent hours sitting in the loft of his daddy's barn or out under some tree on one of their spreads, they talked about so many different things…he his attempts to regain his confidence after the kidnapping and she, the loss of her parents.

Through the years, they shared everything with each other like the best friends that they were and he felt comfortable telling her anything, knowing that she would always be his best friend no matter what.

Sleeping together had deepened that even further which hadn't been what he'd expected at all. The passionate interludes were intensely pleasurable and left him feeling wonderfully spent but it was the time spent snuggling together wrapped up in each other's arms where they'd talk and share things that they hadn't before.

But now they'd become strangers and she'd just walked away from him again.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo got on the phone line to talk to the winner of his auction. It had gone better than he expected, with the final bid being $2 million and the search for the bitch being handled by her new owner.<p>

Milan had told him that the phone call had been for him so he picked it up.

"I hope this is good news…"

"Yes, I have indeed found my new whore," the other man said, "and I've already made arrangements on what to do with her."

Rodrigo felt excitement fill him.

"I hope whatever it is, the bitch gets exactly what she deserves."

He heard a sound on the other end like reproach.

"See that's what is wrong with you Rodrigo and why it's wise for you to stick to narcotics," the man said, "You could never handle the sometimes harsh logistics of human trafficking if you get too emotionally involved in your merchandise."

"You don't understand," he said, "This bitch and her boyfriend brought the feds into my operation and they must pay."

The man sighed.

"Whatever…I will take possession of the merchandise and she…it will no longer be your concern."

Rodrigo heard the cold formality in the man's voice which didn't surprise him because he was known for it through his trade which stretched globally. C.J. wouldn't have a chance once she wound up in his hands no matter what he had planned for her.

"About the party…"

"Ah yes…you and Milan and the other partners will be invited," the man said, "and I will auction off my new merchandise including her during the party."

Rodrigo sighed.

"What about the boyfriend? You think you can handle him?"

The man on the other end laughed.

"You send me another shipment of that new designer drug; I'll make sure he not only is at the part but that he has a good seat right before he gets a bullet in the head."

Rodrigo listened to the man on the phone and knew he'd never want to get on his bad side. He wasn't considered one of the most ruthless traffickers for nothing but he'd built a formidable empire buying and selling in human flesh.

* * *

><p>C.J. made it home after leaving the beach and walked into her bungalow, heading to the kitchen to pour herself some wine. She needed to relax after that encounter on the beach with Matt. Who the hell did he think he was hitting her with those questions as if he cared? He hadn't expressed any concern in where she had been during the siege so far even when it was clear that Will would survive.<p>

She showered and then after toweling off, changed into some sweat pants and a tee-shirt. Grabbing her wine, she headed into towards the front porch to sit out and relax as the heat cloaked the town even after the sun went down.

Matt could be so pigheaded sometimes but that's one reason why he'd become one of the top private investigators. But it cut her to the core the way he acted on the beach; she just had one thought in her head to get away from him. It'd be too easy to just give it up, to fall back into his warm embrace, to kiss him as if they'd never been apart and resume their affair. But at some point if she slept with him, she'd have to tell him a few truths and then look at his face to see his reaction.

His very first reaction before he worried about how she'd see him.

No, she couldn't face that not with everything that had already happened. She'd just have to keep him at a distance like she had been doing.

"Hey you…"

She looked up suddenly and saw Clover approach her from the sidewalk.

"Hi there…"

Clover smiled as she sat down in a chair next to her.

"You got some more of that wine?"

"Sure…I'll see if I can find a spare glass," C.J. said before going inside.

She got the wine and the glass and took it outside so that Clover would pour herself a drink.

"Men…."

C.J. looked at her quizzically.

"What do you mean?"

Clover sighed.

"I mean Matt of course," she said, "You know he's a great guy, hot looking and damn he can kiss…"

C.J. couldn't argue with that, her body couldn't either because it would mold against him every time their lips met.

"So you're not going out with him?"

Clover shook her head.

"Not seriously…I gave it my best shot but he backed off," she said, "I guess he's been thinking of someone else."

C.J. sipped her wine.

"I'm sorry…I know that I kind of alluded that we had gone out but it wasn't that much of a relationship…just a brief affair."

Clover gulped her wine down and poured another glass.

"I thought as much…did Matt ever really get serious about anyone?"

C.J. paused.

"A couple of times…when he got engaged," she said, "but it didn't work out."

Clover nodded.

"It hardly ever does when a couple get together and want to be serious," she said, "That's why I stopped looking…but I still hope."

C.J. smiled.

"Yeah I know the feeling," she said, "But Houston and me, there's no longer anything there."

Clover didn't look too convinced.

"Well he's not over someone in his past," she said, "Trust me, I know what a guy's like when he's still hung up on a woman."

C.J. just looked at her glass.

"So do I but I'm sure he'll get over it real soon if you're interested," she said, "Maybe you'll just have to be patient."

Clover narrowed her eyes.

"You're awfully supportive for an ex."

C.J. shrugged.

"I care about him a lot…I do want him to be happy and if it's with someone else, that's fine."

"Really…"

C.J. picked up more than an undertone of skepticism in Clover's voice but she didn't understand, most people didn't understand how it really was between her and Matt.

"Like I said, I just want him to be happy," she said, "He's family to me."

* * *

><p>Matt drove back to his own bungalow and thought about her the whole way. Not just the woman on the beach but the one he'd kissed so thoroughly that his knees had buckled and his body had sung from her hands all over it. The scent of her cologne when they'd danced in the moonlight away from everyone else until they hit the sheets. He hadn't spent most of his life thinking about her in that way, as more than a friend, but it consumed him now.<p>

After walking inside his house, he grabbed some Scotch and ice in a glass and after pouring mixing the two, he took his glass out to the porch to watch the sunlight fade. He'd tried to meet her halfway and she bolted, so what could he do? He just knew he had to do something.

So as the sun began to set, he begin to think like an investigator working on a critical case, laying out a strategic plan and then putting it into action. So that's what he set out to do here so he could breach her defenses.

He sipped his drink as he put his mind to work and then out of nowhere came one word, and a face.

Serena.


	18. Chapter 18

Matt thought about Serena, the woman who had attended that party. She'd been the one who had been dressed in blue and had been married to one of the businessman cutting a deal in the other room.

Or so they had believed. It had come out later that this woman and her husband hadn't been what they appeared to be. Any more than in the case of him and C.J. But he still knew very little about her and her background and Brock refused to elaborate even when Matt had asked about her and the other guests at the party.

Still C.J. had spent most of her time in the back room with the other women at the party. The men had smoked cigars, drank liquor and were there to wheel and deal; while their dates be they wives or girlfriends were just there to be accessories really. C.J. knew that when she had dressed for the part. When he saw her there decked out in that sexy dress and looking both elegant and beautiful he had almost opted out of going to the party.

Until he told himself that once they finished the assignment, there'd still be plenty of time to get her out of her dress.

Only nothing had gone according to carefully laid plans.

He thought about that while drinking Scotch on the porch as he'd done so many times since it all happened. How many times had he woken up in a sweat so sure his cousin had died from that gunshot wound or that the guns aimed at his own head by Rodrigo's men had been fired? Sometimes it'd taken him a moment or two to realize he was still alive and not back at the mansion.

Nightmares were nothing new to him, going back to when he'd been a young boy. Then later on when he'd lost Will while they were in the military and then…when he'd been kidnapped as an adult. He'd learned to accept them as a part of his life so the fact that he'd experienced a few after the botched assignment didn't faze him.

He reached for his cell phone and called up Brock. The agent picked up the phone call after the second ring.

"What's up…you getting anywhere with her?"

Her, meaning C.J. He didn't feel like getting into that with Brock.

"I need more information on Serena."

A pause resulted.

"Why do you need that?"

Matt sighed.

"I know she's not just a guest at the party," he said, "was she even married to the man who came as her husband?"

More pausing and the irritation inside Matt grew.

"What's there to say," Brock said, "You don't need to know anymore about her."

"Why…why can't you tell me? What are you not saying, was she an agent too?"

Brock sighed.

"Not…exactly at least not for us."

Matt digested that information.

"What does that mean?"

"Exactly that, she didn't work for the feds."

Matt heard the impatience creep into Brock's voice but he didn't care. He didn't know why his old friend was keeping information from him. It didn't make any sense now that the assignment had been over.

"So who did she work for?"

Another pause and Matt didn't know if he'd get his answer.

"I can find her on my own if I have to do that," he said, "so you might as give me information."

"Why do you want it Houston, she doesn't have much to do with what happened."

Matt sighed.

"I just want to ask her some questions. Get her perspective on what happened."

"She answered our questions when we did the review."

Matt felt frustration increase and he tried to hold it back. He needed answers from a man not eager to give them, even though they'd been lifelong friends.

"I have some of my own."

* * *

><p>C.J. settled back on the porch, enjoying the sunset which had done little to dispel the heat of the day. The crickets in the brush and the bullfrogs from a nearby stream filled the air with a cacophony of noises that were soothing and reminded her of where she had grown up. Nights like this were best spent relaxing under the moonlit sky filled with a blanket of stars as far as she could see. Despite her time spent living in L.A. and Boston, she'd never been a city girl, preferring the time she spent living in a rural setting.<p>

She and Matt both had that in common and he'd gone off and bought a movie star's ranch when they first relocated to the golden state. Two ranch hands from back in Texas had joined him along with horses, cattle and other animals. The perfect place to unwind after a hard day working in the city…until they'd decided a couple years ago to live in the city closer to their office building.

Until she came here, she hadn't realized how much she missed life away from the chaotic routine in a polluted city.

She'd sipped a couple glasses of wine even after Clover had left her after they'd talked for a while.

Clover had been bummed that Matt hadn't returned her overtures but there was no convincing Matt to do anything he didn't want to do. But she'd been surprised to learn he didn't fall into bed with Clover quickly because when he broke off his serious relationships that had been his modus operand.

Not that what they shared together had been all that serious.

She heard a bird singing in one of the trees and scurrying in the brush but other than that, nice and quiet. That left her trying to do some of the exercises that Miranda had assigned her to do. Mostly just muscle relaxation exercises, the ones which started with tensing and relaxing different muscle groups beginning with her toes and working her way on upward to the much tougher ones that sometimes knotted in her upper back and shoulders.

So she started with her toes, closing her eyes and imagining that she were sitting on a beach near a tropical forest with crystal blue water lapping up to her feet. She winced when flashes of her and Matt in Mexico hit her suddenly. They'd spent the evenings walking on the beach sometimes after hitting one of the coastal restaurants with seating right on the beach, some lively music intermingling with the crash of the ocean. A couple of times they packed up their own dinner to cook over a fire and eat together near one of the dunes.

Maybe if she imagined herself doing something else that didn't remind her of him. Her phone rang and she picked it up. She didn't recognize the number.

She listened for a moment and then heard a woman's voice.

"Hi, is this C.J.?"

That she did recognize, but why was Deanna calling her? After all, she had pretty much dropped off the canvas after Will had pushed her away after getting shot.

"Yeah it's me…is this Deanna?"

A pause.

"Yeah…look I'm not sure I should have even called you but I needed to talk to someone."

"About what, walking away from Will…?"

Deanna sighed.

"I know it might be hard for you to understand but I needed some time to think."

C.J. heard some regret in the woman's voice so she decided to cut her some slack. Not that it was her position to judge her anyway; more than one relationship had been damaged by that night.

"Okay so you've been thinking."

"Yeah, things got really tough there with Will."

C.J. remembered those earlier days.

"I know but he really needed you."

"He pushed me away…hard until I did the only thing I could which was to give us both space," Deanna said, "I never intended to stay away forever."

"Okay…but does he know that?"

Deanna sighed again.

"I didn't leave him with much explanation," she said, "but I should have known better than anyone. I mean I'm a counselor for PTSD in vets, many of whom are severely injured in combat."

"But that doesn't make you immune from your feelings," C.J. reasoned, "You got scared with what happened overnight and you took off for a while. It happens."

Surprise laced the other woman's voice.

"So you understand then?"

Yeah, C.J. did get it better than most and better than Deanna could know. After all, she'd done the same thing with Matt. Only she hadn't reached the point where she felt ready to turn around and come back.

"Will's really hurt by what you did," C.J. said, "but I think he understands it."

"Did…Did he tell you that?"

C.J. remembered her conversations with him where they were talking about deeply buried, intimate things before they realized it.

"He told me a few things. We were all just trying to deal with what happened."

Deanna paused again.

"I do love him you know but I'm trying to figure out how to make it right."

C.J. heard the emotions in the woman's voice and knew they were sincere.

"Then just go visit him…he's in the rehab hospital in San Francisco and he's doing really well."

"I think I will…and it doesn't matter to me if he ever walks again," Deanna said, "I think I just needed to realize that's not why I fell in love with him."

C.J. remembered back to the day they'd all four of them been out on the boat and she knew that Will had been very taken with Deanna too.

"Sounds like a plan then…for what it's worth; I do know he cares deeply about you."

Deanna paused.

"So is Matt back yet from his trip?"

C.J. sipped from her wine glass.

"Yeah he's up here with me," she said, "We're both working in the same place."

"He left so suddenly I remember," Deanna said, "Almost as if he had something to prove against those bad guys."

C.J. thought that was as apt an assessment as any of the situation.

"Some of them slipped away from the feds so he decided to go out and track them down."

He'd killed some of them too but no need for her to go into that. Matt had returned sure enough but everything had changed between the two of them.

"What about you C.J.?"

She had expected the question so she had her answer prepared.

"Great…doing very well," she said, "I needed to get away from L.A. for a while and it's perfect here."

"That's good so you and Matt…you living together?"

She didn't answer right away.

"No…we're no longer together."

Another long pause.

"Oh…I thought…"

C.J. knew what Deanna had thought, that she and Matt had been committed in some way to one another but the week together had been just that, brief and bittersweet. Life had its own way of ending things.

"In fact we're at odds."

"Why, I mean you seemed so close to one another?"

C.J. sighed.

"Yeah well life happened…the assignment where Will got hurt…everything changed for us after that."

"Maybe you just need time to sort everything out and talk about it."

C.J. knew it was much more complicated than that. They weren't talking unless it was about Rodrigo's escape and plans to wreak his revenge on both of them. Matt had pushed whatever issues he had with her aside just enough to focus his attention on keeping her safe. Because that was an instinct he had woven deep inside of him, the need to protect those who were his family. But as far as working out what happened between them…not ever going to happen if they couldn't even face each other without fighting or fleeing.

"Maybe…but maybe too much time has passed."

"No…if I can find a way to make it work with Will, then you can with Matt."

C.J. rubbed her forehead, taking in the other woman's words. Sounded easy enough until you got into the logistics.

"I wish…I wish that assignment had never happened," she said, "That Houston just said no to his friend but…deep inside I know him well enough to know he could never do that."

"Will told me how he was buddies for years with that agent, Brock."

"Yeah they go way back but Houston hadn't seen him in a while, then he shows up asking for a favor."

C.J. felt the familiar anger in her voice and tried to push it back down. It didn't come easily.

"Hey we can't change what happened," Deanna said, "but I do know I'm going to find some way to make it up to him…to make it clear my leaving wasn't about him. I just needed to figure things out myself."

* * *

><p>They talked a while longer and C.J. wished her well in her visit to the rehab hospital. Deanna had driven up and settled in a nearby hotel leaving her departure open ended. C.J. hoped that the two of them managed to work through their differences and get back together. Deanna had been so good to Will before the shooting and she'd just gotten scared. But at least she owed up to it and came back to face it…and the man she loved. Will loved her back. C.J. read it on his face, heard it laced amid the bitterness that had been in his voice after she left.<p>

At least Deanna was facing her issues, which was more than C.J. could say herself. The comparison stung but she didn't push it away. She thought about what Deanna had said and damn she wished she could just do it. Go up to Matt and really talk to him about everything, about her feelings and about what had happened that night. But she couldn't do that, something stronger than her need stopped her in her tracks every time.

Her body ached to be held by him, enclosed in the warmth of him with his hands wrapped around her. She wanted him to hold her while she fell asleep and be there next to her when she woke up. She needed him to chase her demons away.

No…he wouldn't welcome that, wouldn't want that at all if he knew the truth.

C.J. hadn't struggled as Milan gripped her arm and with the burly guy named Dash brought her back to the entertainment room. The other women, Lucille and Serena included looked at her surprised.

Anna was nowhere to be seen.

"Go sit over on the chaise," Milan commanded.

He released her arm and she walked over to sit down with the others. But she stared at him.

"Where's Anna?"

His lip snarled.

"That's not for you to know," he said, "The boss has other plans for her."

C.J. had felt the chill rush through her body then and felt fear inside of her, threatening to gnaw at her resolve, the professional side of her that kept calm and rational even in the most difficult and dangerous situations. As unpredictable as a case could be, she and Matt had to be ready for anything to happen and it had kept them alive and safe most of the time.

But she didn't feel safe here. No not at all. Will had been shot in the back. She's seen Matt react and it had taken everything inside of her not to scream. But as shocked as she was by what unfolded, she had to remember the assignment because that was how to stay alive and get out of there. One moment of panic and it'd be over for everyone.

"Doesn't the boss want her," Cash asked.

Milan smiled.

"Yeah when he's not so busy," he said, "He'll be back here to lighten things up."

Cash looked back at C.J.

"She's a beauty but I've got my eyes on that young thing."

Meaning Anna.

"It looks like we'll be holed up in here for a while," Milan said, "Might as well enjoy the entertainment."

Both men laughed before leaving the room. When they were gone, Serena just looked at C.J.

"What happened out there," she said, "I thought I heard some shooting."

C.J. rubbed her eyes, trying to erase what they'd seen but she couldn't do it. No matter how she tried, the images remained etched in front of her even when she closed her eyes. Will falling to the floor bleeding and Matt trying to act but then guns aimed straight at his head stopped him in his tracks. She just watched, her heart in her throat and her body tensing to wait for the guns to be fired and for Matt to fall next to his cousin.

No! She couldn't let that happen but her own body felt paralyzed and some tense moments passed before the standoff ended and Rodrigo told his hostages that it would be futile to play hero and try to stop them. She'd looked at Matt and she knew the both realized the same thing. That the group of them and all the guests were caught in a confrontation between Rodrigo and his thugs and the federal agents stationed outside the mansion.

Then Rodrigo had ordered Milan and Dash to take her to the back and her eyes fell on Matt's face just before she left the room. They focused on each other so intently that she was unable to look away and nearly stumbled over her feet as Milan tugged on her hard. She tried to swallow away the fear that began to consume her.

God, what if she never saw him again? What if this was it, the last time that the two of them looked at each other? After all these years they knew each other, had seen each other through good and bad, was this the way it would end?

"Yeah Rodrigo and his men shot one of the men," she said, "and took the others hostage."

Serena nodded.

"Then we're hostages too," she said, "What's it going to be, will they want ransom, a safe passage out of the country? I'm not sure how these kidnappings go."

C.J. chuckled mirthlessly.

"It depends on what they want and their objective," she said, "You can't lump them all together."

"You sound like you know."

C.J. shrugged.

"So I've heard and read anyway," she said, "but with the wealthy crowd here it must be for ransom."

Serena sighed.

"My husband and I have a high net worth but it's not easy to liquidate."

C.J. tried to smile but all she could think about what was going on in the other room. Was Will still alive and what was Matt doing? She knew he hated feeling helpless without power to do anything and that his cousin might bleed to death in front of him. But she knew that no matter what his mind would be working quickly to strategize what to do next. He'd never been one to panic in a crisis, in fact they seemed to thrive in them. His only weakness being when those he loved were in peril.

She just had to do her part and scope out her environment to seek out anything that could be useful for them to act against those who held them captive. Matt might have faith in Brock and his agents but she believed they'd have to rely on themselves.

"Serena…we're going to have to think of how to get out of her."

The other woman widened her eyes.

"You can't be serious," she said, "These men are brutal and god knows how many of the men have been injured or killed."

C.J. sighed knowing they didn't know everything but she couldn't just sit there. In that respect, she and Matt were alike. She just wished she knew he was okay. Lucille walked over to join them.

"What's going on here," she said, "Who are these men?"

C.J. and Serena looked at each other.

"They're drug traffickers Lucille and I think our host is of the same ilk."

The other woman scoffed.

"How could you say that," she said, "My husband would never associate with such low life."

C.J. paused.

"Carlton's dead…Rodrigo and his men shot him and another man and they're in control now."

Serena just sighed.

"God knows what's going to happen to us," she said, "What do they have planned?"

Lucille rolled her eyes.

"To let us go…it's just a squabble over a deal. The men will iron it out."

C.J. looked at her incredulously.

"Iron it out…One man's dead, another wounded, haven't you heard what I just said?"

Lucille just stared at her.

"I have…but you exaggerate," she said, "They would never harm us. We just have to wait for it blow over."

Whatever, C.J. thought, after all she had tried to warn her and she had better things to do like try to help Matt and the others any way she could to get them out of here.

So she shut out Lucille and her dismissive words and began her strategizing by scanning her eyes around the room looking for anything useful.

C.J. leaned back on her porch thinking back to the night. Lucille of course had learned otherwise that a nightmare had begun to unfold. But then none of the women had been as they appeared, window dressing for their husbands or lovers.

Ironic considering she thought she'd been the only one there playing a role.

Now she played a different one and Matt had no clue what was really going on with her. He could never know. She had realized that when she'd saw the look in his eyes when he prepared to leave town to hunt down Rodrigo's men who got away. She'd been so afraid for him but he didn't get that, not knowing if he'd make it back.

Even before she realized she couldn't be there waiting if he did. She got up from her porch, stretched her arms in the warm night before going inside her house.

Closing the door after slipping inside, then closing the one inside her heart.


	19. Chapter 19

Matt got on his laptop to do his homework which was to track down one shadowy agent running under the name of Serena. Brock hadn't been much help insisting to him that he didn't need to talk to her. Matt got that his old buddy didn't want him to find her but he didn't know why.

Not that he could worry about it right now because he had to put his computer skills to work to dig up a way to contact her. His skills weren't as formidable as C.J.'s but he might be able to get by and find Serena or whatever her name turned out to be.

He'd have to head out to the estate to put in another day working there with C.J. The project had loomed large in the beginning, seemingly impossible to tackle but they'd broken it down into manageable jobs and soon enough, it started looking better. The property had been on the market for a while and thus hadn't been properly maintained especially the grounds where trees and bushes ran wildly and vines snaked across their trunks before intertwining with the branches.

The computer search led him to a database that he and C.J. had accessed quite a few times and he entered her name hoping to get lucky. But she had proven to be elusive so far.

"So you're Mr. Houston the financial wizard?"

He looked up at the beautiful and older woman standing in front of him at the party. C.J. had been talking to Will when Matt had run into Serena.

"I don't believe I know you."

She smiled widely then and held out her hand.

"I'm Serena…My husband's the financial whiz in the family but I do enjoy these galas."

He hadn't known how to respond to that. She had seemed lighthearted when she saw it but he saw shrewdness in her eyes.

"Nice to meet you…what else do you do?"

She tilted her face looking at him.

"I do have a small business in cosmetics," she said, "but I'm branching out into a more holistic approach to skin care."

He nodded.

"Huge market for it," he said, "You have a backer?"

She chuckled at him.

"You making an offer," she said, "You sure don't waste any time."

He smiled back at her.

"Listen, maybe later on in this shindig, you and I can get together and talk business."

She paused and then nodded.

"Okay…let's do that…"

Only that opportunity had never arisen because of what had happened instead. He hadn't even seen Serena until he saw her standing by where C.J. had been sitting getting questioned by a paramedic.

But he needed to find her now to answer the questions burning inside his head.

* * *

><p>C.J. drove her truck on the winding road to the estate in the morning, after picking up some breakfast in the café in town. Adela had told her that she might need her later to shelve some incoming shipment of herbs so she would be heading over there in the early afternoon. She didn't know about Matt just that he'd be trying to tame a flock of trees that had turned into a twisted jungle.<p>

She'd be working on the area by what would be a rose garden, which didn't seem to fit in with the tropical motif the new owner had going but didn't ask questions. As long as she got paid and it kept her busy for a while, who was she to argue? The scenic drive provided a breathtaking view at its higher points of the ocean which sent waves towards the beaches. It'd be great to stand on the edge of one of the cliffs and just feel the ocean breeze on her skin, to hear the gulls and other boards fly over the water.

Matt would probably already be there working. He hopefully would be so deeply involved; he wouldn't even notice her arrival. After what happened on the beach, she just didn't want to have another go around with him over the past. After she had walked away from him, she couldn't stop thinking about the night of the party when she'd been forced to leave him after Will's shooting. She'd wanted to pull away from Milan and Dash and run back to him but of course that hadn't been an option. But then she thought, she'd go back and sit in the room with the other women and the most agonizing part of it would be the slow passage of time spent waiting to be let go.

Of course, she wouldn't trust Rodrigo or his men to do that so she'd be spending the time back there planning on what to do, how to work with Matt and Roy to get out of the estate alive. God knows it didn't look like they could trust Brock and his men to accomplish that.

But as it turned out, she hadn't spent that much time in the other room or it hadn't seemed that way at all. She focused her eyes on the road to get away from her own thoughts as she neared the top where the estate overlooked the natural bay.

Carlos nodded at her as she drove through the gate and onto the drive that would take her to the stately house that had already undergone extensive renovation and restoration before they even started working there. There had been some remnants of work being done, a scaffold here and there against the walls but the place had really undergone a lot of work by a skilled contractor.

She parked her truck and got out to head to Carlos to tell him she'd be working on what would be the rose gardens starting with the tea roses. He looked her over as she approached without smiling.

"Good morning."

He just nodded back and pulled something out of a note ledger.

"You're going to work on the rose gardens?"

She nodded back at him.

"Sure thing and the plots should be done today and then we can start working on the soil."

"The what…?"

She sighed, flipping a strand of hair back.

"At the plot where we're going to put in the roses," she said, "The soil's not capable of giving them what they need without supplementation."

"Okay you need to do that," he said, "My boss was very specific about how the roses should look."

Yes, C.J. knew that because she'd seen the intricately designed specs which had been faxed to the nursery when she'd been there the other day. She referenced it when placing the order for the flowers.

"How long to fix the soil?"

C.J. shrugged.

"Not long at all," she said, "if I can get started after digging the plots, we'll get it done sooner."

He appeared to find logic in that and started to leave before turning around again.

"Oh…my boss…he's going to come to town to inspect your work," Carlos said, "and when it's completed and approved, he plans to throw a gala for a housewarming."

"That sounds nice," C.J. said, "This place will be ready for him to show off to his friends."

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and saw Matt dressed in his usual jeans and tee-shirt already dampened by sweat. The morning sun had started to heat the air around them and the humidity had already begun to rise.

"I'll be getting started. I've got work to do at the nursery so I won't be here all day but Houston…"

Carlos sighed.

"He's not staying the whole day either," he said, "He told me he had business to attend to later this afternoon."

C.J. nodded, thinking maybe Adela had work waiting for him back at the nursery too. With that, she headed towards the garden plots. She passed a fountain that was bone dry and a stack of disk shaped objects which were to be stepping stones for a pathway through the rose garden. She walked and then she saw Matt head towards her.

"You finally got here."

She sighed.

"Good morning to you too," she said, "I'm leaving by mid-afternoon."

He nodded.

"So am I so we'd better both get real busy."

She watched him walk towards the area where he had been crafting the lagoon, his jeans molded to his thighs and other parts. Flashing back to when she learned just how many seconds it would take to undo them made her cheeks flush. She really couldn't be thinking of him like that so she went to work.

* * *

><p>Matt looked over at where C.J. went to pick up a shovel to start digging more of the plots for the roses. It'd be hard work but when he'd volunteer to give her a hand to get it done faster, she'd vetoed that to the quick. Told him she didn't need any help and that she could handle it herself.<p>

Then she'd turned her back to him and walked away, looking beautiful as always in worn jeans and a long sleeved cotton blue top that had faded to grey. She had a body that was strong and supple yet curved in all the right places. Just so in places so a man could grab hold of her with his hands and draw her towards him. No good remembering how soft her skin felt when he stroked it with his fingers, the scent of her shampoo and how it felt when their lips met. His heart beat quickened just thinking about it. Watching her work, she clearly had no idea about the effect she had on him.

But any thoughts of educating her on that, no he couldn't think about that. What they had shared in Mexico had stayed there except for the fallout of what had happened. He thought about the message that he'd received that morning, a possibility that he could have located Serena.

When Brock had refused to help him, Matt had started working his way down the list of agents at the federal agency and finally he'd found one that responded to his arm twisting. Enriquez had just sighed on the other end of the phone when Matt had pressed him for that information. But that didn't matter because after a few rounds of volleying, he'd finally given in. As it turned out, she did go by Serena in her world which usually was in Canada but she'd be at a conference in Berkley in a day or two. He couldn't believe his luck in catching her.

Damn, the heat and humidity had cloaked the area of the estate and he'd taken breaks to sip his bottled water and brush the sweat off his face. But he'd been making progress with this whole rain forest deal. He wondered if this Gunthor had a family who would be living here or whether he'd stashed them elsewhere and this was some kind of business hangout. Carlos revealed very little about his boss, just barking out directives to both him and C.J. and anyone else who might be working that day.

Another gardener showed up named Hollis who focused mainly on cutting brush around the clubhouse out back and hacking the overgrown grass, which overlapped onto the walkway. He didn't seem to have much to say, being a younger man referenced by Adela.

He stopped to reach for his brown bag that he had tucked out of the sun and inside it, he had a grinder he'd picked up in town. His body had worked hard and hungered for some fuel even in the heat.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Matt looked up dressed in his bloodstained tuxedo at Serena who looked disheveled. She had been standing with C.J. some distance away.

He just looked at her, kind of dazed as the adrenalin still ruled him.

"I don't know. It's pretty serious. Bullet's in his spine."

Her brows knitted in concern and she lightly grabbed his arm with one of her hands and looked at him.

"Are you okay?"

He couldn't answer that question. His muscles ached with tension and some cuts stung when the blood dried. His knuckles ached from striking the blows and some of his fingers on one hand felt swollen.

But he was alive and he was standing.

"I think so. I saw you there with C.J."

The woman gave him a blank look and then she nodded.

"Yes, the paramedics are looking over her," she said, "They should be done by now."

Matt rubbed his jaw line with his thumb.

"Look, how is she doing?"

The woman just looked at him, her eyes frozen and her mouth moved.

"I don't know. We were separated for a while and I only found her after it all went down someplace else."

He hadn't known what she meant exactly and she didn't elaborate. Just gave his arm a firmer squeeze and smiled slightly before walking away. He hadn't gotten any better answers since.

But when he saw her again, he'd get her to answer his questions and wouldn't leave until she had done that. Anything to get to the truth, the one that Will had hinted at, the one that he already knew.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo buttoned his cufflinks looking in the mirror. In the reflection, he saw the bruised and battered woman lying in the tangled sheets of his bed. She'd been dropped by the night before as a gift for the night by some partners from Montreal and he'd made good use of her.<p>

She'd been a young thing, not much older than his eldest daughter. Blonde hair spilling around a heart shaped face and this time he had sent a woman tastefully dressed. Expensive lacy lingerie hugging her figure, that's what he had seen when she stood nervously in front of him.

Not that she had liked what he asked her to do, none of them did but in his world men gave the orders and women obeyed them.

Did as they were told without question or comment even as he degraded their bodies, he thought with a smile as he reached for his tie.

Now his wife, being a woman from the old world she wrested power through the male members of her family, her grandfather, father and brothers but when it came to her husband, he had kept her on a tight leash. She ran the household, took care of his heir and spares and other than that he had little to do with her once all the children had been born.

Milan stood at the doorway and after eying the woman lying on the bed, looked at his boss.

"Gunthor called. The work on his estate is going on as planned."

Rodrigo adjusted his tie not looking at him.

"Good. I can't wait to see what's been done to that place," he said, "I saw the plans and they were ambitious but then Gunthor was always a man who could get things done."

Milan heard movement coming from the bed.

"I think she' waking up."

Rodrigo put the finishing touches on his tie.

"Good…she's due back in a shipment to Vegas later today."

The woman struggled to sit up but her hands had been tied behind her back.

"I guess Wyatt is happy with your decision to send him hefty shipments to sell off weekly."

Rodrigo shrugged.

"A big clientele on the strip," he said, "Takes some of the workload off of our operation. Syndicating is always the better way."

"Oh god…."

They both turned to the woman twisting on the bed, what she once wore strewn across the bed.

"How was she?"

Rodrigo smiled.

"She was suitable for my purposes," he said, "but I won't be using them again."

Milan chuckled.

"I'll take her off your hands then."

"Do that and you can take a piece of her yourself if you like before handing her over."

Milan grinned.

"I might just do that."

Rodrigo watched Milan grab her arm and pull her off the bed. She stumbled because her of the restraints. He had thought about getting involved in the more lucrative human trafficking industry but so far hadn't taken the leap because of all the more complicated logistics involved not to mention the alliances required. In narcotics, there wasn't anyone to compete against him in this corner of the world. But with trafficking human flesh, he'd have to start from scratch, not an enticing prospect unless…

He could skip a few of the usual steps and enter in near the top or at least at mid-level. Perhaps auctioning off the bitch for $2 million had helped elevate him into a better vantage. Still, he had to give it some careful thought before jumping into another line of business.

* * *

><p>C.J. sat with Serena in the room, their bodies tense as they waited to see what would happen next. It'd been an hour since Milan and Dash had brought her back to the others. Lucille had been driving them crazy with her insistence that it would all work out once the men worked out any disagreements that had led to the gunplay.<p>

"It happens sometimes that way," Lucille said, as she sipped more wine, "They'll sort it out, they always do."

C.J. rubbed her forehead feeling the tightness in her neck muscles moving upward. She'd been more than on edge since this assignment had gone south. Her mind working quickly on different strategies but she was away from the others and one of them might lay dead or dying…her eyes closed momentarily at the thought.

But with time on their hands, she just looked up at Lucille.

"How well do you know Rodrigo?"

The other woman's eyes widened enough so that C.J. knew she struck a nerve there.

"Know him…what do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said, how well do you know him?"

Lucille looked around and saw Serena's eye brows arched inquisitively. The other women sat on various pieces of plush furniture without saying much. Probably doing what their husbands and lovers had told them to do when problems arose.

"Well we've met…at parties of course…but…"

"When did you start sleeping with him?"

Lucille's mouth opened in what looked like shock.

"What…how dare you say such a thing," she said, "I only bed my husband or…okay maybe a young guy here and there but they are of no consequence."

C.J. sighed.

"I don't care about them. I'm talking about Rodrigo."

Lucille looked around the room again before reaching for her wine glass.

"I…he…we were lovers but only for a little while," she said, "He's a very domineering man, calls all the shots and well…that doesn't work with me."

"But you slept with him anyway…to help him or your husband?"

Lucille sputtered.

"My husband…why would I help Rodrigo…?"

C.J. just looked at her directly.

"I don't know Lucille, you tell me," she said, "You tell us whatever we can use to get us all out of here."

"I don't know anything except that he enjoys inflicting pain on his women," Lucille said, "and calling them his whores."

That didn't surprise C.J. not after her encounter with him in the hallway.

"I saw the men take Anna past this room," Lucille said, "Now she's a gold digging little tramp. I can see them sniffing around rich men a mile away but…"

"But…where did they take her?"

Lucille's hand shook as she sipped more wine from her glass.

"She's going to be taken away to be someone else's whore," she said, "Maybe for a bunch of men somewhere where she'll never be found."

"How do you know this Lucille?"

A pause followed.

"Because I know he's done this before," she said, "and if we don't do as they tell us, they'll do the same to anyone of us."

C.J. sobered when she heard that. She knew that men like Rodrigo would use threats like that to keep women in line but still abuse them regardless. It was a game that they played and she knew that Rodrigo played it well from the dossiers kept on him and his operations.

"Someone might have already been killed."

Lucille shrugged.

"Wouldn't be the first time…"

C.J. looked over at Serena who'd been listening.

"We've got to figure out what to do."

Then they heard some footsteps and looked up to see Milan and Dash standing at the doorway. A sense of foreboding sent prickles on the back of C.J.'s neck then as they walked towards them.

C.J. opened her eyes with a start. She'd just closed them for a brief period of time while trying to relax a bit from the hot day. But some memories she thought she'd put away had hit her suddenly. The sights, sounds and even smells rushed through her head, making her dizzy. She held onto the tree to support her.

She didn't sense him coming up behind her.

"C.J…"

She spun around and looked at Matt.

"What do you want?"

He stood there watching her and she knew it was him, the investigator.

"I just thought to ask if you needed any help here."

She looked back to where the rose garden plots were slowly taking form.

"No…I'm fine," she said "Besides you have enough work to do with the lagoon."

Matt nodded.

"This owner sure has some unusual landscaping ideas."

"Houston…I'm here to do a job," she said, "If he wants to put a whole grove of fruit trees, who am I to argue?"

He looked at her sheepishly.

"Actually there's an orchard in the spec sheets that came this morning by fax."

She rolled her eyes, because it was getting a bit ridiculous but again, none of her their business.

"Like I said…"

"I know anyway…when I came on over, you looked like you were in deep thought."

She looked at him oddly.

"Not really…just taking a break from all this heat. Who would have ever thought it could be this hot up north?"

"Yeah I know…listen I'm almost finished and then I got to head off on some errands. You need anything?"

She gazed into his eyes and saw that he meant it and her tone lightened.

"No…I'm fine. Besides I got to go soon too to do extra work at the nursery and…"

Check in with Will who'd be receiving an unexpected visit from his ex-girlfriend pretty soon. He nodded.

"Maybe we could catch some dinner at the diner afterward."

She narrowed her eyes, brushing her hair back.

"I thought you'd be out with Clover."

"No, I'd rather just catch some dinner and make it an early night," he said, "It's been a while since I did so much yard work."

She had to chuckle at that because though he'd done time in construction that had been some years back. Maybe like her, he'd settle in a heated bubble bath to soak sore and tight muscles at the end of the day.

Well except for the bubbles of course.

She wanted to say no to him and then go into all the reasons why not if he pushed the issue but instead she nodded.

"Okay maybe just a short dinner."

"Then it's a date…"

"No it's not Houston…but maybe it'll be a meal shared between friends instead okay?"

She saw his mind work as it always did before he nodded and left her to return to his own work. As she watched him go, she hoped she hadn't just made a bad decision.


	20. Chapter 20

C.J. had watched Matt as he got into his truck and left to go on his errands. She'd be cutting out soon enough herself to go finish up some work at the nursery. Her muscles ached and her body felt coated with dirt from working on the rose garden but she'd do a couple hours sorting herbs and then head on home to shower another day's grime off of her.

So she dug some more to widen the plots that she had created so that after they were finished, she could work the soil including treating it with fertilizers and nitrates depending on what was needed. The estate had been pretty much abandoned for the past year or so with only rudimentary care until the new owner purchased it. She hadn't met him yet, nor did she even know his name. Just that he must have some seriously deep pockets to afford such an extensive renovation or more like reinvention.

Carlos approached her.

"How much longer do you think it'll take to finish?"

She looked over at him while wiping her brow. Damn, it had turned out to be a hot and humid day, the ocean breezes offering little relief.

"The digging will take a couple more hours but I need to leave early," she said, "I'll be back to finish it."

Carlos sighed.

"The guy just took off," he said, "So might as well call it a day."

C.J. just nodded and put down the shovel to go and get her things to take back to her truck. She looked around at the span of land around her, marveling at the amount of work that had been done restoring it. After she got into her truck, she drove away from the estate. Her truck hugged the curvy rode with the coastal scenery on one side and the emerald fields bordered by trees on the other. Not too many vehicles on the road just another pickup truck coming in the opposite direction. She always looked for signs of trouble even before Matt had showed up here thinking she was not taking precautions and leaving herself wide open. It bothered her to no end that he treated her like that now. All the years they'd worked together, including in their investigative firm, he had always trusted her judgment, depended on her to watch his back as she did with him. They'd been the perfect team but that was before they'd become lovers.

When they surrendered to their feelings, they'd greatly complicated their relationship in ways even she hadn't anticipated.

The heat hit the back of her neck even inside the truck and she turned into the town limits heading back to the nursery. She knew Matt wouldn't be there and that'd make it much easier. Clover said that she'd done most of the passion vine plants but that left still the herbs.

She pulled her truck into a parking spot and saw Adela talking to one of the landscapers. The woman looked up at her when she got out of the car.

"You're back."

C.J. nodded.

"I put in a half day so I could finish up the herbs."

"Okay that'll work," Adela said, "I got a huge order for basils and English Thymes."

C.J. smiled.

"Got plenty back here so that shouldn't be a problem," she said, "Just let me get started."

She walked back to the corner where the herbs were all lined in their starter containers on the ground. Sorting through them, she'd separate the thymes from the oreganos from the Basils and chives. The odors of each plant wafted up to her nose and she smiled, thinking she might pick some of the herbs in her own garden to create a pasta sauce for dinner. But for now, she got busy at work.

"Hey you get a lot done today?"

She looked up and saw Clover standing there looking pretty fatigued.

"Yeah…Houston…well he and I have got a lot done," she said, "Still more left to do."

Clover scratched her jaw line.

"He didn't come back with you?"

C.J. shook her head.

"He had some errands," she said, "He didn't say if he'd be dropping by."

Clover shrugged.

"He and I might go to the club tonight," he said, "Duke mentioned he knew the band playing there tonight."

Ah Duke, C.J. thought remembering she had some voice mails from him on her phone but she didn't know when she'd return them. She'd thought about having a quiet night at home cooking some dinner and then hitting the porch to do some reading while drinking a glass of wine or two.

Before hitting a hot bubble bath to ease the soreness out of her muscles and turning in for the night.

"So do you want to join us?"

C.J. paused and then shook her head.

"I think I'll pass," she said, "I'm pretty tired from today…maybe another night."

Clover just nodded and started to leave then stopped.

"You really don't mind that I'm going with Matt do you?"

C.J. just looked at her and saw what looked like concern on the other woman's face. She liked Clover and they'd gotten along very well since she'd been here. Besides, it was Matt's decision to make what woman he went with not hers. She felt a lump in her throat but swallowed. No, she wasn't going to go down that path which led to a past that was gone forever.

Her body tingled from the memory of his hands on her, sliding across her skin, teasing her until he gripped her waist, drawing her closer to where their lips could touch. Once they did, she knew she'd never be able to push him away.

"So you're okay…?"

C.J. brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Sure…look we've always been great friends," she said, "but whatever we had it's in the past."

Clover didn't look like she totally believed her but C.J. didn't know what else she could say that would convince everyone.

"Okay…I just didn't want to step on your turf," Clover said, "Though I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere with him."

C.J. rubbed her forehead.

"He was engaged about nine months ago," she said, "He took a while to move past his breakup with his fiancée."

Clover nodded.

"I can understand how that might be hard to do," she said, "I had a broken engagement myself but you can't stay in the past forever."

C.J. knew that to be true as much as she wished sometimes that she were back in the past, lying in bed snuggled in the arms of the man she wanted so much. They'd watch as the sunlight streaming through the window's blinds would start to fade and listen to the soft crashing of the incoming tide against the shore.

They'd talk about everything and nothing but one thing they would do would be to talk about the assignment. Because they would have agreed not to do it together, then tell Brock no thanks.

But you couldn't take back the actions that you did or the words said and wishing for that wouldn't accomplish anything.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Clover said, "I think there's going to be some more annuals coming in."

C.J. watched her go, thinking how carefree the other woman looked. It'd been so long since she felt that way herself.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?"

C.J. turned around to face Matt who stood by the doorway out onto the wooden deck where she'd stood by the railing looking out towards the ocean as still as glass. Barely any sea breezes had crept inland and it looked to be a hot and muggy day. She didn't turn to look at him.

"Not much…how much longer until we have to meet Brock?"

Matt walked up right next to her and she felt his shoulder brush hers but she still didn't look at him.

"A few hours…listen if you still feel concerned about the game plan you need to tell me."

She sighed.

"Houston…I'm fine with it," she said, "I just want to make sure that every angle is covered and that we don't run into any unexpected surprises."

"Can't do much about that," he said, "It's part of the job."

She paused.

"I know but this job worries me Houston because it's much different than anything we've done before…not the surveillance or wearing a cover. But who we're doing it for."

Meaning that they didn't do much contractual work with the federal government but hadn't done any at least not connected with their investigative firm. But there'd been a first time for everything as he had told her more than once.

She wished she could believe that this was the right decision, and now she knew that it had broken what they'd had between them.

He slipped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to him, and that helped her feel better for now. But she couldn't shake her concerns and he pushed forward with their plan.

Now…she had to live with it and what had happened, and him being here didn't make it easier. She wished it were simple enough to just fall back in his warm embrace and forget everything that had happened. Yet when she saw his face, she was reminded. Not to mention not being honest with him about all of it. Like when anyone got too close to her, any man she wanted to jump out of her skin.

Everything had changed for both of them in one night and there might not be any going back.

* * *

><p>Matt looked at what he'd written on a piece of paper, the phone number that had been given to him belonging to Serena. He sat inside his truck and picked up the phone, to press in the keys that he hoped would help him reach her.<p>

Finally someone picked up.

"Hello…"

"Hi is this Serena?"

"Who's this…who's asking?"

He paused not sure he remembered what the woman he had met at the party had sounded like. Their conversation hadn't been that long and he tried to recall everything that had been said. But the voice didn't grab him as being familiar.

"This is Matt Houston," he said, "I'm looking for a woman named Serena. We were at the same party a few months ago."

Silence greeted him. He thought he heard some movement on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Wait a minute, why are you asking for her?"

Matt furrowed his brow.

"Isn't there a woman by that name there?"

An even longer pause…

"Yes but she's not here at this time," the woman said, "She travels a lot away on her business."

Matt wondered just exactly what she really did for a living. She clearly wasn't the wife of a wealthy businessman who had gone to a party that exploded into violence. Any more than he or C.J. were whom they pretended to be. But she hadn't worked for the feds, so who did she work for?

"When will she be back from her business trip?"

He heard a sigh.

"Mr. Houston…she doesn't take calls from people she doesn't know."

"That's okay because I do know her," he said, "We met the night of a party. I was with a woman who she spent a lot of time with at the party when…"

He didn't feel like explaining how the whole thing had fallen apart.

"Just tell her that we spoke for a few moments," he said, "and that I need to talk to her about what happened when she was with other women at the party including C.J."

"C.J…?"

"She's…"

But then that would be difficult to explain as well because none of them were who they appeared to be as it had turned out.

"Okay…I'll tell her and I can give her your phone number if you'd like."

"Yes…that'd be great."

He gave it to her and after she told him she'd deliver his message, he clicked off the phone knowing all he could do was wait. He knew he needed to talk to her because he and C.J. had been separated for most of the party. Except for those rare moments when they had been together. Nearly slipping out of their assigned roles because something stronger had been getting in the way and it'd been difficult to rein in even though he was the consummate professional.

It had nearly been dangerous for them even before their lives had been on the line. But something had changed and he'd been so caught up with what had happened to Will he had missed it. And during his time hunting the bad guys down that had slipped away, he'd been away from what was going on in L.A.

The phone rang.

"Hi Uncle Roy…"

"Hi nephew, how's it going?"

Matt sighed.

"I'm working on this estate that someone just bought with C.J. and there's no signs of Rodrigo and his men so far."

"That's good but you have to be careful," Roy said, "The intelligence is that he's lying low somewhere with some remaining lieutenants and ready to make his move."

Not what Matt wanted to hear but exactly what he'd expected.

"I'm doing all I can but C.J.'s being pretty stubborn," he said, "She refuses to leave and she doesn't want me here."

Roy paused.

"How much have you even talked to her since that night?"

Matt didn't respond to that right away.

"Or at least since you returned?"

Matt reacted.

"She wasn't even here when I came back," he said, "She'd taken off already."

"Matlock, she's not the same as she was before the party," Roy said, "She was restless before she left."

"She told Will what was going on but he won't tell me."

"That's because you need to hear whatever is going on with her from her," Roy said, "You owe her that."

"Uncle Roy, I've tried that."

"You need to keep trying," he said, "I know it's hard but you need to be the one who gives in here."

Matt ran a hand through his hair.

"I know…it's just not easy for me."

"It's because you want to go in and fix things and you can't," Roy said, "but you can listen to her and make it clear to her that whatever she tells you, you'll still be her best friend."

"She's my best friend…but it's a bit more complicated than that."

If his uncle was surprised, he didn't let on.

"I figured that but that's why it's so important that you swallow up your pride and be the man that she needs."

They hung up not long after that and Matt thought about what his uncle had said. He knew that he was right, that he had pushed C.J. too hard and put her on the defensive but he'd been mostly worried about her being wide open while Rodrigo tried to hunt her down. Not to mention trying to sell her into slavery, his body tensed at the thought. No, that wouldn't happen, he would make sure it didn't but he knew she needed more from him than protection. If he hadn't been angry…and he didn't think now it had even been at her. But she'd borne the brunt of it.

He had to do what his uncle said because she was the most important person in his life. He just had to figure out how to do it.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo looked on the television monitor at the woman working in the garden, digging holes in the dirt. She wore faded clothes but that didn't hide the fact that she was a beauty, whose body would please the man who had purchased it. She brushed some hair out of her face as he watched.<p>

Knowing that she had no idea anyone was watching.

Gunthor had been right about tracking her down and this video from a surveillance camera, one of several that had been installed before she and Matt had started working there proved that. She looked even lovelier than at the party even dressed down and a part of him regretted not keeping her for himself. But the auction had taken place and now she had an owner.

Watching her push the shovel into the dirt he knew she had no idea what lie in store for her and Matt. And once she did, it'd be much too late. No one crossed Rodrigo and got away from it.

No one not even a whore.


	21. Chapter 21

"Damn," she said not for the first time since she'd decided to fix one of the wooden shelves that displayed the herbal collection. The wood had been sturdy once, but now it had weathered overtime and pieces of it had already broken off. C.J. had finally decided that she would tear what was left of it off and build a new one. She'd done that, been lucky enough to find just the right piece of wood, right dimensions and even coloring with the others that hadn't fallen apart as much. She sanded it a bit, weathered it and then within a couple of hours, got it attached to where she'd put the plants. Not the best construction job but it'd keep the plants from toppling to the ground.

But she banged up her fingers, wedged them tight in cracks in the shelving and pulled some skin off more than once. Construction wasn't her thing, what she'd learned she'd picked up from Matt who had spent some summers doing jobs with a friend of his father's. Matt hadn't shown up here but then again, he'd had errands most days it seemed as Adela had a list of items she needed picked up for an upcoming sale. The both of them had worked on the estate but on their off days still put in plenty of work at the nursery. She'd thought it a bit odd that the new owner of the estate didn't want them out there every day since they were on a deadline but Carlos had told them that on days when other workers were coming out to do their assignments, it would just be a waste of time for them to show up as well. Whatever, she thought, to be honest her body needed some downtime in between the grueling days she put working that job.

Clover had gone into town to deliver some roses to a woman who was starting a new English style garden on her back lot and Adela had been in and out dealing with mail order clients. That left C.J. pretty much alone in her section and now she sat there drinking from her water bottle as sweat beaded down her neck and soaked the back of her cotton shirt. It'd been quiet except for the occasional birds flittering in the tree branches and the humming of bees getting nectar from the flowers which left her alone with her own thoughts.

She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck still sore from yesterday. And not just from working at the estate but from her session with Miranda. They were entering a new stage of therapy that the counselor felt she was ready to tackle and that would ultimately lead towards desensitization of what drove her fears. But that involved delving deep inside of her to the places she had tried so hard not to access during the past several months. Memories that were painful, too damn much so and some of them had once been so wonderful. She'd close her eyes tightly to push them backward whenever they threatened to slip through the cracks.

It didn't help that every time she looked at Matt she remembered. The feel of his arms wrapped tightly around her holding her close to his warm chest, the soft breath on her skin and his aftershave, woodsy and so masculine. The softness of his voice and how his mustache tickled her skin when he kissed her, and the many other sensations experienced by her during the best period of her life.

One better left in the past, she kept telling herself. That was only one way she kept her feelings at bay. Because they didn't surface by themselves or at least not for long and they'd become so intertwined with the worst moments of that same life.

She tested the shelf one last time before adding the containers of herbs on it. It held just fine and she smiled at her work.

"Hey you nearly finished there?"

She looked up to see Adela standing there holding a bag of what must be starter seed packets. There had been a great demand for those for smaller vegetable gardens.

"Yeah I think this will work," C.J. said, "though these herbs sell out so fast."

Adela nodded clearly enthused.

"Great isn't it," she said, "I've got a new stock of Basils coming in later this week and the chives and oregano will be replenished tomorrow."

"Good, I can help you then," C.J. said, "I don't go back to the estate until the day after."

"How's that coming along?"

C.J. pushed a tendril out of her face.

"Really well," she said, "Carlos has been directing us based on orders he's getting from the owner though it's changed quite a bit since we started."

"Have you met him yet…the owner?"

C.J. shook her head.

"No we haven't," she said, "He's due to arrive to approve the final details of the renovations but Carlos hasn't given us a date."

Adela shrugged.

"He sounds so mysterious but it's probably just another rich guy keeping a secret place to stash a mistress and a whole other life."

C.J. didn't know much about the guy who had purchased the property but she hadn't given it much thought. She'd been so focused on the work she'd been doing and that kept her busy enough. She hadn't been used to this type of arduous work but she enjoyed it, mostly because it stopped her from thinking too much.

About her own life and its complications…though of course having Matt there nearby didn't help.

"Maybe he'll throw a house warming party."

C.J. knit her brow.

"Yeah I think he mentioned doing something like that actually."

Adela brightened up.

"Well that'll be a lot of fun," she said, "the inside of that old mansion underwent extensive renovation. The owner shipped his labor in including the contractor and architect but bought his materials in town."

"It looked really great from what we saw on the outside."

Adela sighed.

"How's Matt handling the work?"

C.J. just looked up at her.

"Great…he's always loved working outdoors and he's put a lot of time into turning the pool area into a lagoon."

Adela shook her head.

"The fancies of the wealthy," she said, "our neck of the woods has its own beauty…still he's given us quite a bit of business."

"So do you want to go to the party?"

Adela smiled.

"If he throws one sure…I'm always up for a great time."

C.J. had heard stories about her so she had no doubt about that. But she felt a wave of unease fill her suddenly at the thought of it. After all, it had been several months since the last party she'd attended. Not as a guest, but as a freelancer for the feds with a job to do. She closed her eyes momentarily and they felt damp when she opened them. No, this time it would be different, a celebration as a reward for all the hard work done.

She looked up at Adela, brushing her hands on her jeans.

"I'm finished here," she said, "I think I'll wash up and head on out."

Adela smiled.

"Sure…this looks really nice. Now go home and relax or better yet go out to the club and check out that jazz act that just breezed in town today."

C.J. bit her lip, almost tempted because she so loved sitting and listening to the soothing beats and rhythms of good music with her eyes closed to the rest of the world.

Maybe if Duke wanted to…but then she didn't want to give them the idea that she'd get serious with him or anyone else and what if he wanted more from her than she could give him…? No, she'd just stay home after picking up some takeout from the diner. She didn't really feel like hitting the kitchen and cooking a meal.

So after cleaning up, she headed back to her truck to drive home.

* * *

><p>The woman picked up the phone on the second ring and Matt knew he'd found Serena.<p>

"Yes this is her," a voice said carefully.

Matt wouldn't have expected anything less from someone who hadn't been any more real than he or C.J. had been at the party.

"I'm Matt from the party," he said, "We met earlier before…"

A sigh greeted him.

"It all fell apart," she said, "I knew that the job had its risks but I never thought it would turn out to be such an unmitigated disaster."

One way to put it Matt supposed, but it had nearly cost Will his life and could still cost him his legs.

"Yeah…well I think the Feds consider the losses to be acceptable, the damage collateral in nature."

She sighed.

"You really believe that," she said, "You had a young man with you who was shot in the back and hauled off in a helicopter. You had to watch that happen and not be able to stop it."

Matt flashed back to the sight of Will collapsing on the floor bleeding profusely. He almost wanted to break his fall but he couldn't do that. No, one wrong move and then he likely would have joined his cousin on the ground.

"He's doing fine…he's in rehab undergoing extensive therapy to get back on his feet."

"I hope he succeeds," she said, "That should never have happened."

Matt heard more than a trace of bitterness in her voice. Against the fed who had left them exposed inside the mansion?

"No it shouldn't have but it did," he said, "but that's not all that happened."

She paused on the other end of the line.

"You're right about that."

Then her voice drifted off. He swallowed and his throat felt dry but he had to push forward.

"That's what I need to talk to you about," he said, "but I can't do it over the phone. Where are you?"

She paused.

"I'm back East but I'll be flying out to San Francisco on business tomorrow. So maybe if you're close."

He scratched the back of his neck.

"I'm an hour away," he said, "I can meet you some place."

"There's a tea room by the harbor," she said, "We can meet there at noon."

"Okay I'll be there," he said, listening to the address, "It's not far away from the rehab hospital."

"Matt…are you sure you want to talk about what happened that night?"

He heard a tone of warning in her voice that sent a chill through him.

"I need to find out what you know," he said, "C.J…and I we spent so much time apart during that whole siege. I was focused on Will…I didn't know if he'd make it. When they took her to the back…she was gone."

"I know…you only did what you had to do," she said, "and so did she."

Matt didn't like the sound of that and his stomach tightened.

"What do you mean…?"

She sighed deeply this time.

"I'll tell you tomorrow…okay but I'm warning you now, it's not going to be a pleasant meeting."

He figured as much already but he had to know the truth.

"I gather that but I need to find out the truth."

"Did you talk to her about that night?"

"No I haven't," he said, "Things…things are very different between us now than they've ever been…and I've known her most of my life."

She paused longer this time and her voice softened as she spoke.

"You're right, things are very different," she said, "She's different…she came to that party as the woman you know and she left as someone else."

Matt rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I need to know why…."

"I'll tell you but you're not going to like it…but I'll see you tomorrow."

She hung up after that and Matt clicked off his phone closing his eyes, images filling his mind. Swimming so fast through his head, he couldn't make any sense of them but each snapshot filled him with dread.

Still he knew what he had to do.


	22. Chapter 22

Will looked up at Matt who sat across him in the garden outside the French Doors of the rehab center. Roy had been sitting with him earlier but left them alone when Matt showed up.

"She thinks you hate her."

Matt looked up at his cousin.

"C.J…how could she think such a thing?"

Will folded his arms.

"Because of the way you've treated her," he said, "You blamed her for what happened to me and that's so unfair. She had nothing to do with it."

Matt sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I know that…but I blamed Rodrigo and the others who put you in that chair."

"I'm not going to be in it forever Matt," he said, "I'm making progress every day and I'm getting closer to walking."

Matt knew how strongly Will held onto that and his doctors and therapists had been encouraging but he still had a long road ahead of him just to get out of here.

"Yeah…I know and your job will be waiting for you."

Will nodded and then moved ahead with his train of thought.

"So you're meeting up with Serena after you leave here?"

"Yeah…I need to talk to her about what happened that night."

Will paused.

"Yeah you do…"

Matt's eyes narrowed at him.

"I don't know why you just can't tell me what C.J. told you."

Will paused for longer.

"Because it's not my story to tell," he said, "and I told her I wouldn't tell anyone. I had to do that just to get her to talk to me and I don't think she told me the whole story."

"Well Serena better shed some light on it," he said, "I'm not sure she even wanted to meet with me."

Will leaned forward, his eyes serious.

"You have to promise that you're not going to do something crazy when you find out."

Matt rubbed his jaw line with a thumb listening to his cousin's warning. What did he think he was going to do, and then he remembered he had taken off on a cross country quest to hunt down the men who had shot his cousin.

"How bad is it?"

His cousin looked away and a chill went through Matt. And then he realized not for the first time that it must be very bad.

"It's the kind of event that can change a person's life forever Matt," he said, "and it's changed her into someone else."

"I know…and I know that part of that's my fault."

"You were very hard on her," Will said, "much harder than you had a right to be."

"I was angry and I guess I got scared with what happened to you," Matt said, "and not knowing why she changed so much overnight."

"Matt…she's still C.J."

Matt shook his head.

"No she's not…not the woman I have known most of my life," he said, "She's angry most of the time, very defensive and she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"That's not true…she's just like you angry and scared," he said, "and trying to figure out how to move forward from what happened."

Matt rubbed the bridge between his eyes.

"I guess Serena will shed some light on that," he said, "At I hope so."

* * *

><p>C.J. had woken up and headed down to eat breakfast in the diner before heading over to the nursery where she'd be working by herself. She'd finished the herbal section and was moving on to the vines, including different species of Passion, Morning Glory and others to do the task of carefully separating plants where the vines had intertwined melding them together. Given the size of the shipments, that might take her the rest of the morning.<p>

So she sat on the ground and set to work, deftly moving her fingers to gently unwind the tendrils from where they had gripped the plants. Sweat broke out on the back of her neck before long as she progressed through the Passion vines, which reminded her of another place and time.

She and Matt had been sitting on the patio near the bungalow eating breakfast of one of his favorite style omelets and slabs of bacon. Her body ached pleasantly from spending a night in his arms and in his bed. She'd woken up still wrapped in his embrace and with his scent.

"Morning…."

She had smiled when she heard his voice, a bit gravely in the mornings and had moved in his arms to where they faced each other, their eyes a couple of inches apart.

"Morning Houston…"

He reached out to finger a tendril of her hair, looking at her.

"So you up for some breakfast…?"

Her smile widened.

"After last night…yeah…a big breakfast…"

He sighed still playing with her hair.

"You know how much I care about you don't you?"

She knew that more than she knew anything in her life.

"Yeah…and the same goes for me Houston," she said, "It's just that…"

"What?"

"I don't know what comes next for us," she said, "We've never done anything like this before."

"No we haven't," he said, "but now that we have, I don't want to go back."

Neither did she but surely he must know how complicated they had just made their relationship because how many friendships between men and women even tightly knit ones like theirs had been messed up when sex came into the picture? She didn't want to think about what might happen if they hooked up, then broke up and couldn't even be friends anymore. She couldn't let that happen with them, losing him as a friend would be worse than losing him as a lover.

"You're not going to lose me," Matt said, "Not ever…but when we finish this job and go home, I want us to be together and to figure out what to do next together."

That sounded so nice, she thought the feeling still permeating her body months later even with everything that had happened that had destroyed all that. A part of her thought about what it'd be like to have continued on with a relationship with him, god how much different life would be than now if only…

But she felt the familiar coldness fill her body. No, she couldn't change what had happened and she couldn't make it go away. All she could do was try to integrate it in her life in a way where it would no longer control her. Miranda had been helping her with that but this part of her therapy, the desensitization part unnerved her. She had left her last session feeling so damn raw and tired after having to relive some of the emotions she'd fought so hard to keep buried, from showing to anyone. But she trusted the therapist.

But what about Matt, it broke her heart that she didn't know how to answer that anymore. No, she couldn't let him or anyone else see that part of her that had been broken.

* * *

><p>Matt left the hospital to head where he'd be meeting Serena and he parked his car outside the restaurant. Heading inside, he looked for her trying to remember what she'd looked like the night of the party but didn't see anyone resembling her. The waiter seated him in a booth and he ordered an iced tea.<p>

He braced himself for what she might tell him and wondered if he wanted to hear it. But he had to listen to her, to find out what had happened to C.J.

And what he had done wrong.

Because if something awful had happened to his best friend on the assignment then it had been because he hadn't done enough to protect her, to make sure that she'd been safe. But he'd been so focused on his cousin after the shooting had started and hadn't thought of much else. He tried to remember the first time he'd seen her but it had been when she'd been wearing something over her dress and being looked at by a paramedic. It had been rudimentary but she hadn't been hurt, hadn't needed medical treatment and at some point had joined him at the hospital with Roy so they could begin their vigil while Will underwent surgery.

But she'd spent most of those long hours sitting by herself away from the others, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. He'd thought she'd just been worried like he'd been but now he knew it must have been something more than that.

"Hi Matlock…"

He looked up suddenly and saw Serena standing there. He hadn't even heard her approach. Her hair was worn up in a bun and she dressed much more casually in cotton slacks and a silk blouse, different than the night of the party. She sat down to join him and ordered a tea.

"You're here…I wasn't sure if you really wanted this meeting."

She looked directly at him.

"I didn't…but I know that you're looking for answers about someone you really care about and I can help you with that."

He looked at his ice tea glass.

"I do have questions, I just don't know if I want to hear them answered."

"Yes you do…underneath it all you want to help your friend," she said, "Because she means so much to you."

"I haven't acted like it lately," he said, "I've been a jerk to her and now she doesn't want much to do with me."

Serena smiled and he saw something akin to compassion on her face.

"It has nothing to do with you," she said, "It's what happened that night when Rodrigo's men came for her."

"She'd gone back to wait with the rest of the women, I thought."

"Oh she did and we did talk," she said, "but they'd taken Anna screaming right past us and we didn't know what happened. She said a man had been shot."

"My cousin…he's in a wheelchair now."

"I'm sorry…there was a lot that happened that night," she said, "and the men returned and it was clear who they wanted to go with them…I don't know why they picked her but they did."

Matt felt his stomach tightened.

"Why…why did they take her?"

Serena paused for a long moment.

"You know why…and you know what they did," she said, "and I did when I saw her again…"

Matt felt his heart drop to the point where it hurt inside his chest, almost like it had stopped beating. But he still was alive looking back at Serena.

"Oh my god…"

He couldn't find anything else to say, the horror just swam through him as his suspicions became reality inside his head.

"She was standing in the room when I found her," she said, "but her dress had been torn and she was trying to find something to cover herself. The commandos were running through the building but I guess they hadn't secured that section yet. The men had gone and we were alone. So I helped her find a robe in a closet so we could leave…"

Matt covered his face with his hand, his mind still reeling, the words becoming more and more difficult to say.

"Did she…did she tell anyone…any of the paramedics?"

Serena shook her head.

"I doubt it," she said, "She didn't want to tell anyone. She didn't even tell me any details. She just…well she blamed herself for what happened."

"Blamed herself why?"

"You probably know the answer to that better than I do because you know her."

Yeah he did know her very well and he realized that she probably would blame herself in the midst of the operation going so badly, Will getting shot and knowing that if he died, Matt might do the same thing, blame himself. But he had only cemented it for her with the way he had treated her.

"I need to talk to her."

Serena sighed.

"You need to listen," she said, "and let her tell you when she's ready."

"I don't know when that'll be considering how she's feeling about me now."

"Give her some space Matt and I think she'll let her guard down," Serena said, "and you'll know everything."

Matt left her not long after that and drove back to San Francisco thoroughly shattered by his meeting with her. His heart beat hard inside his chest, his breath had become harsh and his muscles had tightened into knots. His hands into fists as rage had filled him too. If he had known what had happened to her when he hunted Rodrigo's men down, he would have killed them all. But he couldn't be tempted to go out and punish Rodrigo, he had to do what he failed to do that night and protect her.

But he had to earn her trust first and he thought of how to do so during the drive back to her.


	23. Chapter 23

She didn't answer her phone when he called it and he wondered if she'd gone out. He called Clover and she mentioned that C.J. had said she might go to the club after all and meet Duke there. He grimaced at that news but when Clover had asked him to join him there, he agreed.

"It's a great music act Matt and I thought we could just go and hang out."

After clicking off the phone, he headed to shower and get dressed up in some casual jeans and a shirt. But his mind still swam with the information that Serena had given him. Part of him wanted to approach her about what he had learned but he knew she'd hardly welcome that and likely would push him away.

As she had been doing since the night of the party.

He left the house and headed to the car, to drive to the club. When he arrived there, he saw that it had begun to fill up with people eager to hear the latest jazz act. He recognized the name of the band having seen them perform in L.A. Clover had got them a table and he went to join her after ordering a beer. The musical trio was still setting up and the place was milling with people talking by the bar before the show started. He looked around for C.J. but didn't see her.

"Hey why don't we get some of those delicious ranch style chicken wings before it starts?"

Matt knew it didn't mean his style of ranch chicken wings, barbecued in his daddy's special sauce but he felt hungry so he nodded, sipping his beer.

"Good then…I can't believe they're performing here."

Matt just sat there and listened to her while drinking his beer. She didn't seem to notice that he didn't say very much. But his mind was on his meeting with Serena and what she had told him. It was on how much he wanted to get into his car and drive off to find Rodrigo and just kill him. No questions asked, no hesitation, he could show the trafficker as much mercy as he had shown Will and C.J. But he knew he couldn't leave her here alone because Rodrigo had been busy trying to track her down. And he didn't want to leave her alone.

"So how much longer do you think it'll take to finish the work at the estate?"

Matt leaned back in his chair watching the activity around him. The music would be starting up soon and still no sign of her.

"I'm not sure yet," he said, "Every day we're there, Carlos starts handing out the change orders."

Clover shrugged.

"It shouldn't be much longer," she said, "Word is around town that the guy's coming in to check the place pretty soon."

"Well there was a lot of work already done on the house itself," Matt said, "I haven't seen the inside yet but the exterior looks impressive."

"Yeah…didn't think that place would ever get sold," she said, "But Myrtle told Elise who told Cynthia at the beauty shop that this businessman from overseas…he had an accent…he just dropped a chunk of money on the place. All in cash."

Matt figured the guy had plenty of that to spread around because of the renovations taking place. Almost like he had a bottomless expense account but beyond that, he didn't know much about the guy. He just hoped that he'd sign off on the work that he and C.J. did so then they could think about going home.

Back to L.A. and their lives there. The feds had promised them protection from Rodrigo and his men but Matt didn't trust that much. He just knew that they couldn't stop living their lives but then he remembered how much everything had changed. Will was in rehab in San Francisco with Roy living close to him and C.J. had been adamant about not going back to L.A. with him. In fact, she'd told him more than once in no uncertain terms to go back himself.

Not that he was about to do that.

"I hope it's a big party," she said, "and he invites the town and not just those in the upper crust. Of course I could snag an invite from the mayor's brother."

Matt just listened to her talking, but the hairs on the back of his neck started tingling at what she said, only he wasn't sure what set them off. He trusted his instincts; they'd served him very well keeping him alive in combat zones and in the more dangerous investigative assignments including those that didn't start that way.

But so far the work on the estate had gone very smoothly.

"Do you think that he'll actually be living there," she said, "and that he has family?"

Matt sipped his beer.

"Don't know…haven't heard much about him actually," he said, "except that he's an importer and built a fortune doing that."

* * *

><p>Rodrigo ate his dinner that someone else had placed before him on a table where he sat with Milan. They had spent the afternoon by the pool where he swam laps to keep his fitness sharp before the two of them engaged in a strenuous kickboxing workout. Now that he was out of jail, he had to expect that some of his rivals would try to move in on him believing him to be vulnerable. They might even try to eliminate him. But anyone attempting to do that would be in for a nasty surprise because he hadn't lost any of his edge, physical or otherwise since the raid.<p>

Milan looked up at him.

"Gunthor's a very patient man," he said, "but then he'd have to be since he's paid to have so much work done on that estate."

"He's very particular what he surrounds himself with," Rodrigo said, "I'm the same way and he's paid handsomely to take care of our problem."

Milan nodded.

"So he wants to arrange for the pickup himself," she said, "Mr. Houston can be quite difficult to control as we discovered the night of the party."

Rodrigo chuckled, slicing up his filet surrounded by sautéed vegetables.

"I think as long as C.J.'s there to motivate him to behave himself, he should be the easy part of that."

Milan smiled.

"Yes he is fond of her," he said, "and that can be used against him."

"He won't live long enough either way," Rodrigo said, "He'll be less of a problem when he's dead."

Milan sipped his cognac.

"And what about her…? You know what will happen if she's in Gunthor's position."

Rodrigo smiled widely wiping his mouth with his napkin.

"I know exactly what will happen to her," he said, "but I can't let that interfere with conducting business and I think his plans to add her to his private collection will put her to good use."

"What about you? Do you think this will wind up on our doorstep when the feds find out what happened to them?"

Rodrigo shrugged.

"No…Gunthor promised to be discreet with his plans," he said, "but he did say he would be throwing a party for his housewarming and that we're going to be invited."

Milan shook his head.

"Is that really wise?"

Rodrigo ate another piece of the filet.

"Perhaps not…but then life is about taking risks is it not," he said, "and I really want to see the two of them get what's coming to them."

Milan nodded.

"Okay then but we're going to have to be careful," he said, "make sure we'll have an exit plan if things heat up."

"Of course, I didn't become a success in this business without being careful…and by making sure that anyone who crosses me pays a harsh price for that."

* * *

><p>C.J. walked into the club and looked around, seeing Duke sitting at a table by himself near the front so she headed towards him. But then she looked over and saw Matt sitting next to Clover. At least they were apparently back on again. She didn't begrudge him that because he deserved to be happy and maybe if he was, he'd lay off on her.<p>

She bought a drink at the bar, just a vodka the first of several she'd be drinking while listening to the music before she and Duke left the club afterward. After working at the nursery, she'd driven home and jumped in the shower before dressing in some nice black jeans and a button down red top. The crowded atmosphere put her on edge, a bit too festive for her taste but that was all part of desensitization therapy right? You had to immerse yourself back in the situations that scared you. She intended to do as much of that as she could do. Her life that she left behind and wanted so much, she just had to take it back.

So she gulped back some of the vodka before she walked on over to where Duke sat. He looked up at her and she smiled at him before sitting down next to him at the table.

"How you doing?"

She put on a smile.

"Great how about you?"

"Business has been booming…you know that the new owner of the estate on the hill has been buying up a lot of our product."

She rubbed the back of her neck.

"Yeah he's been keeping us very busy," she said, "Houston and I took a couple of days off but we'll be going back soon."

"How much time left?"

"Don't know. I'm still in the middle of doing the rose beds even before the plants arrive."

Duke smiled at her.

"Haven't seen very much of you lately."

She paused, not wanting to get into the explanation why.

"I've been very busy with work and…"

"But what about after work," he said, "I called you a couple of times and you didn't call back."

She smiled again.

"I'm here now aren't I," she said, "so let's enjoy ourselves okay?"

He just sipped his drink and she tried to focus on the musicians warming up in front of them. But she saw Matt in her peripheral vision and didn't like that at all. Too many memories of better times they shared before…before it all went bad. So she tried to focus on Duke instead as she sipped her drink and then ordered another one.

* * *

><p>Matt looked over to where C.J. sat with Duke in front of him. They looked like they were enjoying themselves and he told himself to be happy for her. But he didn't do very well with that and had to stop himself from going over there and cutting in on Duke. The last thing that he knew he should do but he couldn't help himself…not after what he had just found out what had happened.<p>

"Matt…there're getting ready to start playing," Clover said, "I think I'll go get us some of those chicken wings."

He watched her go and then he sat there, his body tensing with holding back from getting out of his chair. She looked happy enough with Duke and he seemed engaged with her. She sipped from her drink in between. She had made it clear to him that she didn't want to spend time with him when it wasn't necessary and he knew he couldn't blame her for that.

But still he watched, remembering a time when everything between them had been so much different. A time that now remained out of reach.


	24. Chapter 24

The wind blew in from the ocean as it always did since they'd been staying in the bungalow. They'd eaten some lunch on the deck after spending a day to themselves exploring a nearby village. After they had picked up the latest directive from Brock, they'd returned and cooked up something on the barbecue.

Nothing complicated just some burgers and potatoes Texas style.

Will and Deanna had walked up the staircase from his own place further down the beach and joined them. He had brought some salad that she'd made along with some good vintage wine.

"I thought we'd kick back in style," Will said, "Anyone got a corkscrew?"

Matt went to find one and C.J. looked over where Will was sitting. Matt's cousin looked much healthier than she'd ever seen him and she knew that this time on the beach adjacent to a tropical rain forest had done him a world of good. He reminded her of how he'd been when they were all younger, before they had gone off in the divergent paths of their lives. Back before Will had disappeared and had been presumed dead for over a decade…

But when they had found him alive, he'd been rail thin and his body covered with sores and old scars that told them he'd been tortured over the years by his captors. He'd come to the brink of despair including literally more than once and they'd come so close to losing him all over again

Not now…his face lined with happiness, his eyes sparkling. His body's frame had filled out, and with exercise his lean muscular build had returned. It had been as if that other Will hadn't existed at all. Deanna had helped Will put it behind him and Matt caught his cousin looking at the woman beside him and knew that he was falling for her. He'd smiled at the thought of that because if anyone deserved the kind of joy and happiness that family could bring, it had been Will.

"Hey, I think I'll try some of that dessert cake we picked up earlier…"

Matt watched C.J. go to get it to prepare it and her capable hands unwrapped the paper while he went to get the fixings for the burgers.

"Sure…it's a great day to eat outside isn't it?"

She chuckled and tucked a strand back looking at him.

"It's always a great day here…"

Matt jolted out of his reverie and saw that the jazz band had stopped playing and had taken a break. Everyone else had gotten up to refresh themselves on food or drink, talking and laughing. Clover had started talking to someone that she knew and he saw C.J. across the room with Duke. She sat back in her chair with a drink and listened to him. He felt his body tense, wanting to go over and talk with her and this time he got out of his chair and headed in her direction. She looked up at him as he arrived.

"Hi there…great jazz act isn't it?"

She nodded, glancing over at Duke who got up from his chair.

"I'll go get us some of those chicken wings…be right back."

She watched him leave and then turned to look back at Matt.

"Great music…good company…did you come here with Clover?"

"I met her here," he said, "We're just here as friends."

She sipped from her glass.

"That's fine; you don't need my permission to go out with her."

He just looked at her, watching her wince a bit as she swallowed from her glass and then she put it down.

"How much have you had so far?"

Her eyes flashed at him.

"None of your business," she said, "but only two glasses."

"That stuff packs a pretty powerful punch."

She picked up her glass again.

"And you would know right?"

Matt heard that tone in her voice that warned him not to push an issue with her, especially since she'd been drinking. That puzzled him because she'd never done more drinking than a margarita here or there, or some beer or wine to unwind at the end of a hard day's work.

"C.J…if you need someone to give you a ride home afterward…"

She put the glass down.

"I can get myself home…but thanks. I'm here with company and I'm fine."

He sighed.

"I didn't say you weren't…"

She smiled slightly.

"No you didn't even ask…but I am. Been working hard and you know I like to listen to some good music to relax."

He did know that about her, they'd gone out to concerts in L.A. and she loved all types of music. She would gather around the piano back at the office when Murray would sit down and strike up some melodies.

"Yeah…that work at the estate is pretty tough…long days."

"I like that Houston," she said, "Keeps me busy too busy to…well you know…"

He was about to ask her about that when Duke returned with a dish of chicken wings and sat back down again. Matt watched her smile at him and touch his shoulder.

"Look if you need anything…"

Duke looked up at him.

"She's got me to help her. No need to do anything."

Matt shot him a direct look.

"Like I said C.J. if you need anything…"

C.J. had started working on the chicken wings, putting a couple on a plate.

"Like I told you Houston…I'm fine…"

With that he walked back to his table where Clover waited for him. She had brought him another beer and some of what looked like taquitos.

"I thought they would be nice," she said, "They're going to start up soon."

He picked up one to start eating it, his eyes glancing now and then over at where C.J. sat with Duke.

* * *

><p>C.J. had watched him go even as she served herself some of the wings. Really Matt didn't have to worry about her but she knew he did it out of habit. She could take care of herself, by herself. And she could handle herself with Duke.<p>

She just hadn't decided how she would handle herself with him as she sipped from her glass.

"Your past with him," Duke said, "It's not still an issue now."

She shook her head quickly.

"Oh no…it's all in the past," she said, "See over there, he's moved on hasn't he? So have I."

Duke smiled and reached out to stroke one of her hands.

"That's great…listen you want to head to the beach when this is over? Take a walk, maybe head on back to my place…"

She bristled at his words, sweat breaking out on the back of her neck.

"I…maybe…I haven't decided yet."

He pulled his hand back.

"Okay then but we've been going out…"

"Not really…more like meeting up."

He sighed.

"You know what I mean…and I think you're one hot woman."

She tilted her face at him.

"How would you know that? You barely even know me."

He smiled looking her up and down, in that way that men appraised women, almost as if they were grading them. C.J. had grown used to that and she would now. She did need to move forward with her life and that meant…

She picked up her glass for another sip.

"How many have you had?"

She put the glass down looking at him.

"You too? I'm just fine. Why don't you go refill your glass?"

He shook his head.

"I want to remember what happens after we leave the club. People mainly drink hard liquor like that to forget."

She looked down at her glass.

"It's just tequila and I haven't had much."

His hand reached out this time to stroke one of her arms.

"So smooth and soft," he said, "I'm looking forward to…"

She willed herself to remain still while he did that but it wasn't easy. It just reminded her, no she had to shut her mind off. She forced herself to smile.

"Me too Duke…"

But inside, her mood changed to dread.

* * *

><p>Matt looked over at where he saw Duke touching C.J.'s arm and her reaction. Her body rigid, her face…maybe he should go over there again. No, no she would turn on him if he did that and it might push her away again. He'd done enough of that lately.<p>

"C.J.'s a big girl. She knows what she's doing and the music's starting up again."

He looked over at Clover who had been watching him.

"I know that but…"

He couldn't finish that sentence of course so he picked up another taquito.

"Look I know you…I aren't serious or anything like that," Clover said, "but nothing says we can't have some fun like I said."

He sighed.

"I don't play that way..."

She folded her arms, bemusement on her face.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't done casual."

"Not anymore…"

That quieted her down and he reached for his drink to sip from it. The words that Serena said reverberating inside his head. The truth still remained out of his reach mostly because of his own doing as his cousin kept reminding him but was there any way to bridge the gap? He'd have to find a way, if only to convince her that he'd been acting like a jerk the past few months.

"She looks happy enough with Duke. I think she's into him."

The musicians started playing again and Matt settled back in his chair trying to forget. Times like this were always dangerous because you get too relaxed and the mind would wander back to try to work open doors that had been shut.

* * *

><p>C.J. listened to the music as she sipped from her drink, her body feeling its effects. Her mind grew fuzzier which suited her fine. Tomorrow she could return to what her life had become but tonight she just wanted to forget and be someone else she used to know.<p>

At least the woman she'd been before all this had happened. Before she'd let down her guard and fallen for someone who resented her now, and before the night of the party that had changed everything. Duke moved his chair closer to hers and put his arm around her and she let him, trying to relax and listen to the soothing melodies of the jazz.

All her memories of similar times would just have to remain at bay. Times spent dancing closely to music on the beach as wind chimes sang behind them. Wrapped up tightly in a man's arm, inhaling his scent as he pulled her closer to him imprinting her forever.

Only forever hadn't lasted very long and had ebbed away when real life intruded leaving her alone surrounded by nightmares that clung to her.

She needed someone to make them go away and the man beside her, whose cologne reminded her of someone else could do that if she'd let him.

So she'd do just that and let him.


	25. Chapter 25

He walked her out to the truck after the music show had ended. She's been a bit unsteady on her feet, but felt his hand resting on her back.

"You can't drive…"

She sighed, her vision growing a bit blurred.

"I know…you said something about a walk on the beach so let's go for a walk someplace."

Duke cleared his throat.

"C.J…"

She turned to look at him.

"You aren't going to go all noble on me," she said, "Because that's not what I need right now."

He touched her face gently, then cupped his hand on the back of her head and pulled her closely. That was more like it she thought. His mouth brushed against hers, like a whisper and she responded back thinking she could almost do this…if he'd only lead her slowly into it like a pool of warm water so she could get used to it. She relaxed a bit and slid her arms around him drawing him more closely. Yes, this felt good, it sent sensations through her that she'd missed so much, it almost made her feel safe again.

He released her from the kiss and she felt her breath try to catch up. He just looked at her carefully.

"So you do want to come back to my place," he said, "We can skip the walk…."

She nodded and smooth her hair back off her face with her hands.

"Sure…I guess I'd better not drive," she said, "I did drink…a bit."

Probably more than she should have but she didn't want to say that, the kiss had made her feel good again. Almost…no not like that but it good enough. She followed him to the shotgun side of his truck and then she heard footsteps behind her.

Familiar sounding footsteps, the pair that belonged to a well worn pair of boots that belonged to a man she knew better than any other. She knew that Duke had heard them and had turned around so she did also. Matt stood there by the truck but by himself. Where was Clover?

"Houston…"

"C.J…what are you doing?"

She sighed, looking back at him.

"I…Duke…we're leaving now."

"I can see that, but you shouldn't be going with him."

All the niceness that she'd felt before slipped away like a door shutting out the light. How dare he tell her what she should and should not do, who did he think he was anyway?

The man who had watched her walk away from him and where his cousin lay bleeding but didn't know what followed next.

"And why not Houston," she said, "It's not like I'm telling you not to go home alone am I?"

She felt the anger roil inside her, soaking up every fiber of anything inside of her. She thought she'd put it all way but when she saw him…she went back. Each stitch she had woven in the part of her she still knew came unraveled each time he looked at her. Damn him for that.

"No…but I'm not drunk."

Her eyes flashed and her anger increased. She tried to hold it back, her muscles tensing even more as she tried to choose her words. Once they slipped past her lips, they couldn't be taken back or forgotton.

"So…you think just because I drank, I can't take care of myself? Houston, I've seen you drunk more than a few times…"

When his guilt over the loss of his cousin had threatened to spill over…when his daddy had died…when this fiancée or that lover had paid the price for his vocation…when Elizabeth had left him at the altar…

"It's not the same. If Duke here had any concern about you, he'd drive you home and not back to his place."

She folded her arms.

"I asked him to take me to his place."

Matt rubbed the back of his neck.

"All the more reason for him to drive you home."

Duke put his hand up.

"Hey if the lady wants to go home I'll drive her there," he said, "If she wants to come back with me, then she will."

C.J. shot a look at Matt and noticed that she wasn't the only one trying to hold back anger…only his was different. She'd seen that look on his face before when he believed that someone was trying to hurt those he loved.

"Not while she's been drinking," Matt said, "Come on C.J. I'll take you back to your place."

She shook her head.

"No…I'm going with Duke," she said, "if you want to help me Houston, then butt out."

Duke narrowed his eyes.

"You heard what she said, maybe you'd better leave now."

But Matt didn't move at all let alone walk away and C.J. watched the emotions play out on his face. Anger, frustration but also others that while she watched them appear, caused her own eyes to sting…no she wasn't going to show anything in front of either man.

"I'm not leaving until I know she's okay."

She looked from one to the other, her hands gripping her upper arms while they competed for her. Then she saw another time when she'd been standing between two men, her dress torn away and the room had grown smaller.

"How much money do you want?"

"How much have you got…"

She closed her eyes then, trying to keep her breathing from slipping away from her again. Her vision blurring, her skin on her arms and legs tingling.

"She's fine," Duke said, "she wants to come back with me to my place don't you…"

Now she didn't know what she wanted, it had felt so good earlier when Duke had kissed her, his fingers caressing her face but now…she looked around her but the lot looked empty.

"I…look maybe you'd just better leave Houston…"

"Not until I know you're safe…"

Those words rang in her ear…safe? She didn't know what that word meant anymore. It had meant keeping her distance from everyone, keeping quiet and now she was in the parking lot with two men who both wanted something from her.

"Houston…I'm never going to be safe…"

She saw the impact her words had on him.

"So there's nothing you can do Houston. After all, that's what you like to do, keep women safe. But it doesn't always work does it?"

"C.J…"

She looked at both men feeling indecisive for a moment. If she went with Duke, he'd take her to her place and she could give him what he wanted from her. She could force herself to feel something…to push everything else away.

She could leave with Matt and he'd take her back to her place and then tried to get answers to the questions on his face, ones that she didn't have to give him. Then she made her decision on what to do.

"I'm fine…just go…both of you…I can find another ride home."

The two men just looked at her.

"I mean it," she said, "I…"

She looked over and saw Clover walking out to her car.

"Hey Clover…can you give me a lift?"

The other woman nodded and she started to walk away from both men. Neither of them called out to her. She knew they watched her as she got into Clover's car on the passenger side as they would watch the car drive away.

She didn't have to look to see that.

Matt looked up to see a woman looking at him at the nursery. He'd headed to work the next day and hadn't seen C.J. Adela said something about her driving to the next town to check on some inventory for the upcoming sale.

"You work here?"

Matt nodded and started to get back on his feet. He'd been fixing a shelf so it would better support the potted geraniums.

"You need any help? You are looking for anything special?"

She tilted her head clearly appraising him and then she nodded.

"Some tea roses…Adela's place has always had the nicest ones…I'm working on a side garden this year."

He brushed his hands on his jeans and told her to follow him. When she saw the assortment of them in different colors, she smiled and started looking at them, stroking some of them gently with her fingers as she commented on the different colors.

"These will go nicely with the others," she said, "Rosy pink and red go nicely together."

"Yeah…well I need to get back…just come get me and I'll help load them up and take them to the front."

"Thanks…you're Matt aren't you?"

The fact that she knew his name startled him.

"Yes I am and you're…"

"I'm Miranda…I'm a counselor…I specialize in trauma cases."

He nodded but didn't know how that would lead her to knowing his name.

"Have we met…before I came here?"

"Oh no…but C.J. is one of my patients."

His eye brows shot up at the mention of her name. Then relief filled him because if she were seeing Miranda that meant she was addressing what happened to her.

"I see…"

"Does that surprise you?"

"No…not really," he said, "I'm happy that she's gone to someone for help."

Miranda pursed her lips.

"Then you know…about what happened with her?"

Matt chose his words carefully.

"Some…but not all of it," he said, "Not much of it really…only that when we got separated that night…the night of the party something happened to her."

Miranda paused and he saw the concern in her face. That told him that she genuinely wanted to help C.J. but she probably had figured out the challenges of helping someone who didn't want it.

"Yes it did and she's working through it but it's very difficult," she said, "Most women who experienced what she did don't even try to seek help."

Matt's stomach dropped as it often had in the past several days.

"She doesn't want it from me….in fact she acts like she hates me."

Miranda nodded. She looked at him with compassion and he found himself warming to her.

"She doesn't hate you Matt," she said, "She doesn't even hate herself though sometimes she believes that. She's torn…among other things."

"Torn…torn by what?"

"Have you ever wanted so desperately to tell someone something but you just can't because the force that won't let you is stronger?"

Matt thought about it and then nodded.

"There have been times I felt like that," he said, "but C.J…she somehow got through all that and helped me realize I could tell her anything. She knows it's that way with me."

Miranda nodded again.

"Yes she does on one level…she's just got to work through that," she said, "She does care for you so much but it's hard for her…that's all I can say because she's my patient. But I think it would help a lot if you'd remind her of a time before it happened when she felt loved and safe in the world."

Matt remembered what it had been like when they'd been together at the bungalow on the beach before the night that changed everything.

"Then maybe she'll talk to you," Miranda said, "She's at the stage I think where that'll help her heal."

Matt felt his heart wrench.

"What happened to her?"

Miranda smiled at him.

"She needs to tell you herself and she'll do that when she believes she can survive it."

Matt thought about that when he returned to working in the shaded area where the ferns grew. Even though they grew abundantly in this region, they still sold them. Adela walked up to him.

"You are going out to the estate tomorrow?"

He nodded.

"Yeah Carlos says the tiles are in for the pool area and I have to start prepping."

She nodded.

"C.J. will be there too," she said, "She'll be starting with the roses. She might need your help even if she doesn't ask."

He smiled at her thinking about the next day when he'd put his plan into action. He had most of it inside of his head, all he had to do was iron out some of the details.


	26. Chapter 26

The roses when they arrived looked even better than she'd imagined. All different colors, each of which held a different meaning. White, for purity, yellow for friendship and for her home state of Texas, red for passion and her favorite, orange a combination of different colors that she loved. As for the blue roses, she wasn't sure what meaning they held but they would look gorgeous intermixed with the others in the plot of earth she had so carefully prepared.

She had done all the digging, the soil treatment to help give it the nutrients it would need and the sectioning out so that there would be some rhyme and reason for the arrays of roses even if it didn't look like it. Now she had to get the roses in the ground and that would require some help. She looked around for Matt who had arrived earlier and had headed to work in the pool area which was actually starting to resemble a lagoon. Carlos had been out to check up on them a few times but had spent most of his time inside the house. Some delivery men had arrived and he had spent most of his time tending to them. Not that she or Matt needed him watching. They had planned to put in a full day's work and then each of them had their own plans. She had told Duke she'd be working late at the nursery to prepare for the upcoming sale.

That was partly true.

The roses sat there waiting to be planted and she saw Carlos watching her from across the grassy area. He must have come out of the house. She wondered if the owner had been in touch with him and figured that he must have and so it was more than likely that some of their specs would change.

She just hoped that the new owner wouldn't change his mind about the roses.

Her favorites, the orange ones of course would go in last. She remembered when she had graduated from law school at the top of her class and Matt had delivered a display of them from half way across the world in some military base. He'd been going through so much then since the disappearance of Will and that hadn't been long after the designation from him had changed from MIA to KIA. She thought that news would break him.

It had almost broken her.

She knew that it could have been him and not Will and she knew that most days he wished he could take his cousin's place but she couldn't face that.

"Hey you need any help there?"

She looked up and saw him standing there. His shirt already drenched with sweat. It'd been one of those mornings where the heat rode the humidity once it came off the ocean. They'd brought plenty of water and sports drinks which they kept in an ice chest in the shade. He tossed her a Gatorade which she caught.

"Thanks…maybe if you can spare the time," she said, "I know that you're busy with the lagoon."

"I can use a break," he said, "besides I got some tiles that are being prepped. Can't do much there for a while."

She nodded and gestured towards the rose bushes.

"Well let's get started," she said, "I was thinking the yellow first."

He smiled.

"That'd be perfect."

So they moved towards the bushes that awaited planting. He hefted one and she did so, mindful to avoid the thorns.

"Soil looks good and ready…use bone meal?"

She glanced over at him.

"Yeah and some peat moss with it. It took some working but they should grow well here."

He handled the bush well and moved it towards the hole dug for it, resting it inside. He ran his hands gently over it to make sure it'd settle well. Then he checked his work.

"Not sure how it goes with the whole rainforest motif on the other side."

She chuckled, rubbing her forehead after she put her own bush down into the earth.

"Yeah…he's certainly got some interesting landscaping ideas," she said, "But he's paying us well."

Not that either of them needed the money. They both had more than they knew what to do with but she'd been trying to forget that for a little while. As well as other things.

They worked for a couple hours straight not talking very much and then after the heat got to be too much, they broke to refresh their drinks. She grabbed hers and settled underneath a shady tree not too far away from where they'd been working. A couple rows of roses now were planted and soon would grow beautiful flowers. She hoped the new owner would be pleased.

Matt settled next to her and she just shot him a glance before taking a sip from her bottle. The flavored liquid felt good as it cooled her throat. She had gone to the water faucet and dampened her shirt to wipe the sweat off of her face. Matt had stripped his own off to do the same and she glanced at the muscles on his chest, the ones she had enjoyed running her hands over in different times. Tracing the silvery scars where bullets had penetrated the skin and muscle, one had nearly taken him away from her. But she had her own scars too and overtime they had faded but not entirely. When he had removed her shirt that first time and looked at what had been covered, she waited for his reaction to her scars but he hadn't cared. His attention had been elsewhere.

Her body ached from the exertion but she felt good otherwise.

"So what's on for tonight?"

She looked over at him as he sipped from his own bottle. He'd replaced his shirt after drenching it again with the water so it'd cool him off as it dried in the cool breeze that had began blowing onshore. She just shrugged at him.

"Not much…working late…"

"What about after work?"

She felt her body tense up at that question. An innocent one really, he was probably just curious.

"Home…cook myself some dinner and just relax…after a long warm bath of course."

He digested that and she wondered what he thought.

"What about you?"

He gazed over at her.

"I'll probably do the same. Clover…she wanted to go out tonight to the club…"

Her body tensed and she wondered if he noticed.

"So you are going to go out?"

He looked down at his drink for a moment then back over at her.

"No. No I'm not."

She bit her lip.

"Why not…she's very nice Houston and she likes you an awful lot."

He nodded.

"She is nice and I enjoy going out with her."

"Then what's the problem?"

He paused.

"Because she's not you."

Matt looked at her when he said that and watched the emotions swim across her face. She didn't expect that from him he could tell. But what was he supposed to do, pretend he didn't want to be with her? He watched her react, for his words to penetrate the layers. Her body had tensed again and her brow furrowed. She had moved ever so perceptively further away from him. He saw surprise first, a hint of a smile that matched an arching of her eyebrows but before he could savor that, then came the fear. It had its way of removing everything else in its path and then he knew would come anger. Not at him but to him because it needed a target.

Once close by, not one miles away.

"C.J…"

She maneuvered around to face him better.

"What Houston…what do you expect me to say?"

He paused briefly this time just enough to catch his breath, not long enough to lose her to what had grabbed hold of her and wouldn't let her go.

"Nothing…I just wanted you to hear it."

She sighed, shaking her head.

"No…no you didn't. This is because of what happened the other night."

He closed his eyes briefly. He had to tread cautiously and he still didn't know how. Nothing he had ever been trained to do, had ever done successfully had prepared him for what had happened with her.

"No…this is because of what happened between us," he said, "before…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. Neither of them could do that.

"Houston…we can't go back to those days," she said, "Everything's changed. Things will never be the same again."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"C.J…they're going to find Rodrigo," he said, "and this time he's going away."

Matt hadn't told her that he wished he could leave right now and go hunt the bastard down and end his miserable life. But he couldn't fool her.

"Houston…you want to leave and go kill him right now don't you? Only you'll be playing right into his hands."

He knew that but that's not why he didn't go after Rodrigo. He wouldn't leave her alone and exposed and she needed him right now whether she admitted it or not.

"I know but I'm not going to let him come after you or hurt you."

She looked away from him and he couldn't see her face.

"It's a little late for that."

She started to get up and leave him, to do whatever she needed to put that distance between them again. But he reached for her arm.

"C.J…"

She tried to pull away from him.

"Let me go…"

He shook his head at her.

"No…"

She reacted quickly to that.

"I mean it Houston…I will kick the shit out of you if that's what it takes."

His eyes didn't leave hers.

"Like you couldn't do with him?"

She looked furious with him then and tried to pull away harder but he wouldn't budge.

"Why won't you let me go?"

He just looked at her as he refused to give her what she wanted.

"I'm not giving you up…You're too important to me and this is just tearing you up."

She shook his hand off of her but didn't stand up. But she did shoot him a dangerous look…he couldn't blame her. He was treading awfully close to that place she didn't want anyone to go.

"Who are you to say what it's doing," she said, "I'm dealing with what happened in my own way. Just like you did…when you took off to hunt those men down that hurt Will…the ones you killed."

He took a deep breath.

"I wasn't thinking C.J. I was reacting and I shouldn't have gone after them. I should have been with you."

She looked confused.

"Why…Will was the one who got hurt…the one who might never walk again because he took a bullet in the back."

He tilted his face looking at her. She wore all kinds of emotion on her face and she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever known.

"Will's going to be fine whatever happens in rehab…but what about you?"

She pushed a tendril of hair off of her face.

"I'm doing the best I can Houston…this woman's helping me."

He nodded.

"Miranda…she came by the nursery the other day."

She sipped from her bottle.

"Yeah well…you don't need to worry."

He reached out with a hand to rest on her shoulder and she let him.

"I do worry…because I'm your best friend."

He wanted to say more but his instincts told him to wait.

"Okay then but then you just have to accept that I'm not the same as I used to be," she said, "and I don't think I'll ever be again."

He heard the resolve in her voice but he heard some sadness intertwined with it.

"I don't think any of us are the same," he said, "but I do know you're a very important person in my life and I'm not walking away from that."

She looked at him and his heart caught in his throat the way that she did, but she covered it with a smile and then got on her feet again. After brushing the dried earth off of her jeans, she started to move back to where more roses waited.

"We'd better get back to work cowboy unless we want to stay here all night."

And so he joined her.


	27. Chapter 27

C.J. unlocked the door of her house, stepping inside. The coolness of its interior offered her some relief from the sun that baked outside. Damn, it had been hot today and humid though thunderstorms were forecast for just before sunset. Sometimes the weather reminded her of life back in Texas and sometimes…

She swallowed back that daydream. What had happened in that bungalow on the beach during a couple memorable thunderstorms. The clouds would rush in from seemingly nowhere and shroud the sky in darkness. The air would tingle your skin and then it would be time to seek shelter before the skies opened up. The rain that fell had felt both cool and warm at the same time and provided relief at least for a while after it dispersed and they'd walk on the beach, the scent of flowers in the air.

Matt had left the estate to head back to the nursery to check on an order of rubber trees of all things that would be planted not far from the lagoon area. This Gunthor guy certainly had some eclectic tastes when it came to landscaping. But she'd enjoyed watching the estate come back to life, like artwork on blank canvas and knowing she played a part in that. The roses had nearly been planted and would soon take root and given time would provide lovely for those who would walk down the footpath and admire them.

She still had some orange roses she had saved for last.

The work had left her feeling grubby and her skin stung from getting stuck by some of the thorns. It wasn't possible she thought to work with roses without their defense mechanisms kicking back. Not much different than people, Miranda might say.

And she might be right.

But what was she supposed to do, she thought as she wandered into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of chilled iced tea. She didn't know to act differently and she knew that frustrated Matt even though he didn't show it. How could it not? It frustrated the hell out of her. The iced tea felt cool against her parched throat and she gulped down one glass and then another. What she felt like doing now was jumping into the shower and then figuring out what to eat. Her muscles throbbed as they always did but she knew that would pass, her body had adapted to the work she'd given it to do to forget.

She needed to do that for so long because the images had been relentless at first. If she let them, they'd seize control of her and leave her immobilized. No, she didn't want to turn into someone who was terrified of everything and everyone including the man she loved. But wishing didn't make it so and all the pushing back that went inside her head just left her aching at the end of the day.

Over the months, she'd gotten quite good at it and during the days…she could forget the past and focus on each minute of daylight. She'd almost feel like herself again and then night would fall...and the fear would begin to creep through her body.

Nights still belonged to him, the man who had stolen so much from her. In her dreams, she lacked the control of the tight reins she used while awake to live in a world that remained the same even though she had changed. The control that she had lost that night that she had to fight so hard to regain the next morning when she awoke believing she was still back in the past.

She finished her iced tea and went to shower.

* * *

><p>Matt finished his own shower in his house and then went to check his computer for emails. He found a couple from Murray giving him updates on an upcoming merger of his corporation, not that it interested him much except for the money it could provide the foundation. Murray had asked him some questions and he'd have to check with C.J. for the answers.<p>

Then he saw the attachment and after reading it, sighed. He'd need both of their signatures before sending it back to Murray by fax. Luckily he had brought some necessary office equipment with him and he put it in the spare bedroom. Not that he wanted to use it much or even be reminded but in situations like the one Murray just threw at him it couldn't be avoided.

Which meant he'd have to drop by C.J.'s to get her to sign it and he didn't know if she'd be home. She might have changed her mind and gone out…alone or with Duke. That thought bristled him but he knew that he had no right to tell her what to do…certainly not after his own behavior. Her defenses were up at full strength and he had no one but himself to blame for that.

He changed into some faded jeans and an old work shirt and thought maybe if he brought a peace offering? Yeah that might do it; he could stop by at the diner and pick up some of famous chili burgers. He smiled as he got ready to do just that.

But what always sobered him was his conversation with Serena about what had happened the night of the party. The part of it he hadn't known about and still a part of him wanted to keep it that way. But something inside him much larger needed to know, needed to hear it from her whenever she felt ready to tell him.

If she ever felt she could tell him.

The phone rang and he went to pick it up.

"Hello…Brock is that you?"

"Yeah Houston…am I interrupting anything?"

Matt took his phone call in the living room.

"No…I'm on my way out but it can wait…"

He heard Brock sigh.

"Rodrigo's got a buyer for her," he said, "and he paid a high price."

Matt felt his heart sink almost to the point where it weakened his legs but he steadied himself. After all, he knew this would be the outcome of Rodrigo's insane plans for revenge. The thing that gnawed at him most is that they still didn't know where he'd gone or who he'd hooked up with to remain a threat when he was supposed to be locked up.

"Who…what…?"

"We don't know…now look we do have a mole in there," he said, "but this guy's not always easy with his information. But he's one of the best."

Irritation rushed through Matt.

"So why did you keep that information back?"

"Matt…you're a freelancer…you're not one of us."

Matt sighed, as if he needed to be reminded of that. After all, the collateral damage was much higher on the independent contracting side of the botched operation.

"Look, I need to know who this guy…"

Brock's reaction was quick.

"No…no you're not on a need to know with him…just let him do his job and we can stop Rodrigo."

Matt chuckled without mirth.

"Like you did during the party? Damn, you left us hanging in there to try and survive…"

"Hey I did get you all out didn't I?"

Not nearly soon enough as it turned out, but Matt didn't tell him that. His mind was too busy working quickly. He needed to find out more about this mole because he needed to know how the feds were going to keep Rodrigo and this buyer of his from going after C.J. If they were getting closer, he had to step up the measures to protect her.

"You did…"

The rest had to wait because Matt had his own suspicions.

"And that will continue to happen Matt, you have my word," Brock said, "After all we go way back…"

Matt knew that to be true but that didn't mean he might not come back with tough questions for his college buddy later.

"Look I'm going to do my best to make sure these guys get caught before they can hurt anyone else."

"They've already done enough," Matt said, "and if they do drop by here, I'll be ready and waiting for them before they can even get close to her."

Brock didn't respond. He didn't have to because he knew Matt was serious, when it came to protecting his family.

Matt clicked off his phone to head on out. But if Rodrigo and anyone else showed up, he wouldn't sit on his hands waiting for the feds to ride in and rescue them.

* * *

><p>Milan looked at his boss who sat at his desk. He'd been on the phone for an hour talking with one of his heaviest narcotics customers. Saying that the next shipment of meth would be stashed away in a special cargo hold on one of his business jets flying to Montreal.<p>

Milan knew that to be true because he had checked on the loading of the cargo himself. He would be paid extra for the trouble. Rodrigo offered him part of each shipment and he took it as a bonus.

This latest shipment would be one of the largest yet but Rodrigo had placed men carefully in the Customs divisions of several different countries who were huge sales markets for his product. The meth was mostly for the downtrodden customers who couldn't afford to fork out bigger cash for the designer stuff. But the meth had been treated with a hint of the more expensive to try to get the customers hooked.

Rodrigo finally got off the phone.

"Milan…tell me about the Montreal shipment."

"Not much to say boss, the plane took off from Miami International an hour ago."

Rodrigo nodded and then sorted through some paperwork. In his line of work, to launder his more illicit trade with paperwork from his legitimate business was necessary. He had hired a staff of creative accountants to do just that.

"Gunthor's nearly finished in Europe."

"So he'll be flying back to the West Coast soon?"

Rodrigo nodded.

"His merchandise will be waiting for him," he said, "I've much enjoyed that surveillance camera system that got set up."

Milan smiled.

"I imagine so…the two of them have worked very hard on the landscaping," he said, "It's a shame that they won't be able to enjoy the fruits of their labors."

Rodrigo shrugged.

"It's better that way…Gunthor has said he will host a party for his clients. And we are both invited…I told him to keep Matt alive until then."

"You really think that's wise?"

Rodrigo's smiled.

"Oh yes…I want myself to be the last person he sees before he dies…after he's fully aware of what's planned for her."

Milan grinned too.

"A perfect ending to his miserable life…god knows he's made ours difficult enough."

Rodrigo rubbed his hands together.

"I'll be perfect…Gunthor's a very imaginative man...in different ways to die."

Milan shook his head.

"Matt's not an easy mark Rodrigo," he said, "He killed some of your best men."

Rodrigo's eyes darkened a moment.

"True…but his weakness is those he loves and we'll have her so controlling him shouldn't be difficult at all."

"You have a point but…still to underestimate him."

Rodrigo sighed.

"Would be a huge mistake but it won't happen," he said, "No Milan, it will be perfect just like it was that night…Gunthor will enjoy his prize very much…just like we did.."

Milan's smile weakened a bit and he cleared his throat.

"Yes…yes indeed."

Rodrigo moved his chair back to leave it.

"Now I've got to go and do that conference call with the London Cabal. Are you sure you've got a secured line?"

Milan nodded, and the two men left the room.

* * *

><p>C.J. sat on the living room sofa drinking her iced tea. She'd gotten off the phone with Chris back in L.A. who had called to tell her about her new boyfriend David. C.J. was happy that her friend had found much deserved happiness but a part of her…remembered what it had been like.<p>

Maybe she would go out tonight…return Duke's calls and go out with him. Listen to some music, do some drinking and then back to his place. Her body tingled at the thought, but she needed to put what had been done to her behind her and Duke, he wasn't someone that she cared about…she liked him but the stakes weren't as high as they had been with…she sighed and reached for her phone.

Then she heard the doorbell ring and her hand froze. She didn't know who that might be as she wasn't expecting visitors. Maybe Duke had gotten off early and decided to drop by to go out. That might work out better than calling him so she got off the couch and walked to the door to open it.

But it wasn't Duke who stood there, it was Matt.


	28. Chapter 28

"Houston…"

He stood there at her doorway waiting to be invited inside.

"I should have called…but I just brought you over some paperwork to sign so I can fax it back to Murray."

She saw that he carried a folder in his hand and as for the other?

"Houston, you brought food didn't you?"

He nodded.

"Just some of those chili burgers from the diner," he said, "We might have to go over the specs a bit."

She looked at him and then moved to the side so he could enter the living room. They went to the kitchen so that she could get out the iced tea while he got some plates for the food.

"Want to eat out on the back veranda?"

"Okay…it's cooling down a bit," he said, "but it might rain later."

She shrugged.

"Should be done by then. I imagine you've got other things you want to do so this won't take long."

He cocked a brow at her.

"You in a hurry to get rid of me…?"

She smiled.

"No…but I'm sure you are to go out and have some fun."

He took the plates and she took the drinks and they headed out the French doors in the back to the veranda. There was a table and some chairs so they sat down, looking out into the yard which backed up into a meadow.

"Smells great…"

She reached to pick up her burger. It tasted as delicious as she knew it would.

"This is great…thanks. Now what's this about the documents?"

"Just the usual…Murray's handled most of it but he needs the final signoffs from us."

She nodded.

"I know it's more difficult for him that we're not there."

Matt sighed.

"Don't worry about that. Murray's handling everything just fine."

She knew that but she still felt some guilt. She had taken off out of L.A. without thinking of how it might impact others. Not that Matt had been around but a part of her thought she should have waited until he got back. Except for the fact that she couldn't face him. So she had left and maybe it had been about running away.

But he had found her anyway.

"I know…but a part of me does miss L.A."

"But most of you doesn't want to go back…"

She put her burger down.

"It's not like that Houston," she said, "It's more complicated."

"I know."

She sipped from her iced tea and looked at him, seeing the lines on his face which told her he was concerned about her.

"I'm not sure you do and I don't really want to talk about it."

She heard the tightness in her throat appear in her voice and the way he looked at her, she knew he was thinking. But as much as he thought he knew, he didn't know much.

"Okay I'm here on business after all…so after we finish with dinner, I'll show you those papers I want you to review and sign."

She could deal with that side of him right now. The part of him that didn't try to figure out why she had changed so much but then as she watched him eat, she knew what she missed so much.

"Sure…and then you can get them back to Murray."

They ate in silence until they were both finished and then she had reviewed the papers with him out on the veranda. The air still felt quite warm, laced by humidity. She knew that it would rain soon, driving them both indoors. So when she was satisfied with the contracts, she signed and dated them, handing them back to him.

He tucked them away in the folder and put it down, seemingly not interested in leaving to go spend the rest of the evening elsewhere. She looked at him puzzled.

"Houston…?"

He sighed, looking straight at her and what she saw in his eyes made her heartbeat quicken but not for the right reasons. Not because the sight of him blew her away and left her not wanting to let him go. She felt afraid and she hated that, she hated being so afraid and trying to push it back all the time.

She hated being afraid of him most of all. But he smiled at her, his brown eyes soft and his face relaxed, though his body remained tense. She felt like that was her fault for pushing him away, not noticing that he had stopped pushing back.

"Did I…?"

He shook his head as if he knew what she was going to say…maybe. She hoped that he would leave now…but then she wanted him to stay. She didn't know what she wanted…except to go back to life before the night of that party.

Only that wish could never be granted.

"No…I'm just wondering if we're ever going to talk the way we used to," he said, "when we shared everything and didn't hold back from each other."

She ran a hand through her wavy hair. The humidity made part of it curl against the back of her neck which felt damp beneath her shirt. From the humidity, or something else, she wondered.

"Houston…I…we were never totally sharing everything. We had parts of our life that were private even from each other."

He nodded as if he knew that but she knew he was thinking back to the week that they'd spent together on the beach. So did she, her body remembered what they had done and sometimes it pushed against the fear but it never broke through. How could he understand that?

"I know that but what we did share was very special to me," he said, "and I know it was to you too. I don't think I'm imagining that C.J."

She glanced away a moment feeling the familiar tightening of her throat, almost enough so that if she sipped her drink she might feel it.

"It was Houston but things have changed."

He didn't need to be reminded of that. She knew he felt the wall between them as acutely as she had since that night.

"There are things that you just could never understand."

There, she had just added a new layer to the wall she had erected between them with adhesive more effective than mortar. She saw him struggle with his own emotions on his face, because he knew that about her. She knew that when she saw his face. But he sighed, his eyes never leaving her, watching her own emotions playing out on her face.

"I know but I'd like to try."

She rubbed her lips together, her hands finding each other to clasp tightly in her lap. Damn, when he looked at her like that it was almost enough to make her weaken.

Almost, just not quite…it wasn't like she didn't want that. It's just that every time she did that, she saw Rodrigo and what he'd done to her. Then she'd pull back into that safe part she had constructed inside her so she could get up in the morning rather than curl up in a ball underneath the covers. She hated that one man could hold that kind of power over her, which went beyond physical.

"I know…but it's so hard to even talk about it," she said, "It's like when I do, it's happening again. Everything, everything I saw, the sounds, smells like I've been sent back."

He processed that, she knew he did and she knew that didn't come easily. He did it for her, because he loved her.

Or the woman she used to be.

"I'm so sorry if I do that just by being around you," he said, "but we go way back, we've shared so much. You're the most important person in my life."

She believed that and she heard the pain, the trace of wistfulness in his voice for what once had been but could be no more. She felt her own eyes sting and thought, damn I can't show him how much his words hurt even as they're meant to heal.

So she looked away when she blinked her eyes and felt tears.

"You have to know I'm always going to be here for you…no matter what."

She nodded but it felt automatic. She didn't know how to explain that it felt like those words were for someone else.

"Houston…I'm not that woman anymore," she said, "I'm not the little girl who you saw on the playground at school in the sixth grade. I'm not the woman that you used to know, who was your partner…and I'm not…"

The most painful part of all but she had to say it.

"I'm not the woman who shared your bed," she said, "the one who you made love with…I can't….I mean whenever I even try to remember….and it's not you or what we shared…because you're right, it was special. Most special but it just hurts…it hurts more than you could ever imagine."

Her voice started to shake as she struggled to get those words out, scared to even look up at him not wanting to see what she knew his eyes held but he had to understand.

"C.J…"

She finally did look at him because something in his voice made it impossible not to do so. His face etched in pain, but he saw the concern that overshadowed that, for her.

"Houston…I think I've said enough."

He shook his head.

"No…no you haven't. I don't think I know what you expect me to say or do that keeps you from sharing with me what happened."

She rubbed her forehead with a couple of fingers, feeling the tension there.

"I don't want to hurt you…and I know I've done that already."

She sensed he wanted to touch her, to stroke her hair back in that comforting way of his but he didn't do it, giving her space.

"You haven't done anything," he said, "I've been an ass to you and I had no good reason to treat you as badly as I've done."

"Houston…"

He put a hand up.

"No…whatever happened…wasn't your fault…and I treated you as if it were…I think because I couldn't face that I was responsible for what happened to you…and Will."

She narrowed her eyes.

"How so Houston…how can you say that? Rodrigo and his men did evil things because they're evil people. How does that make you responsible?"

He paused as if her questions stopped him and then he closed his eyes momentarily. The sadness on his face told her that he did blame himself for all of it. So her hand shaking, she reached out to touch his shoulder with it. He opened his eyes when she did that but his face…she felt her own insides tighten watching him.

"It wasn't your fault. Can't you understand that?"

She saw him struggle with his belief otherwise. He'd always been one to blame himself when assignments went so horribly wrong.

"No…it was…I thought I'd planned out everything," he said, "Went over and over the game plan, had every angle, every possibility considered but…"

"You didn't because you couldn't Houston," she said, "You're human, that's all. I didn't help you as much as I should have…we're partners and I didn't do my part."

He sighed.

"You didn't want to do the assignment and I should have listened."

She tilted her face.

"I went through with it didn't I," she said, "It's because I wanted to do it. It's just that…that week, it didn't go like I thought."

He smiled at that.

"Yeah me neither," he said, "but I wouldn't change anything. Not ever."

She nodded, believing he meant it. But they couldn't go back to the past, all they had was the present and she'd been trying so hard to find her way. Because….but she couldn't tell him that.

"I know…it'll always be the most special time in my life," she said, "but we can't go back."

He almost looked like he'd protest but he nodded slowly.

"No but we can move forward," he said, "I meant what I said C.J. I'm always going to be there for you and somehow we'll find a way to work through everything."

She looked away momentarily.

"I don't know how long that's going to take for me," she said, "I'm trying so hard but Miranda said, it's going to take time…a lot of time."

"Okay…I'm a patient man."

Oh she knew that about most things. Being an investigator accustomed to stakeouts that lasted hours or days he had to be. But this was something entirely different.

"I don't want to hold you back…from what you want."

His hand moved towards her face this time to stroke a strand of hair off of it. His eyes never off her.

"What I want is right in front of me," he said, "I realized it that week we spent together and nothing's changed."

She shook her head.

"Everything's changed…I'm not even sure who I am."

"I know…"

She sighed.

"You think you know."

He cupped her jaw with his hand gently and she looked at him. Damn, he really did sound so sure of himself. Hadn't he been listening to what she had told him?

"I know that you're my best friend," he said, "and that I want more than that but I'm not going to push you. You tell me what works for you and I'll listen."

She tried not to chuckle at the earnestness in his voice. He was a great listener among other things.

"I'll think about it Houston…that's all I can do."

She didn't know how he'd respond to that, would he challenge her? But he just nodded again and got up from where they sat.

"Come on, let's go back to the house," he said, "I did bring some dessert after all…and I think it's getting ready to rain."

She knew, she could smell the promise of it in the damp air, carried by a sudden breeze from the ocean.

"Okay…I think I can do that…"

So she followed him in the house just when the first heavy rain drops started to fall.


	29. Chapter 29

She watched the rain drops fall, gently at first and then more heavily from the safety of the doorway out to the veranda. Matt and she had gone inside the house just as the incoming storm threatened to erupt above them.

"It's really coming down out there."

He stood just behind her, she could feel his presence but she kept her attention on the rain striking the veranda including where they had sat to eat dinner. She realized that they had left their plates and glasses outside to get wet.

"Just leave them there," he told her, "Why don't we go inside?"

She followed him into the living room where they saw the rain streak across the windows and heard it rattling down on the roof above them. The storm wouldn't last long, they never did in the summer time and when it was over, the clouds would break up allowing the moonlight to stream through and the air would feel refreshing, with the day rinsed away.

They both sat on the sofa inches apart and she tucked her feet underneath her after kicking off her shoes.

"You know you can go…I'm fine."

He just looked at her, and she saw that he hadn't escaped the rain soon enough. His curly hair had gotten wet and drops of water clung to his face. She imagined she didn't look much different, she felt the wetness permeate her shirt too. But it felt good, cooling her skin and she relaxed against the couch. She watched him shake his head at her.

"I'm not in a hurry...and you're not fine C.J."

She folded her arms mostly to keep calm, because his words and his assuredness behind them in his eyes…pissed her off more than a little bit.

"I'm fine Houston…I certainly don't need to have you decide that for me."

He reacted to her defensiveness but she didn't really care.

"C.J…I'm not…"

"Yes you are Houston. If I told you I'm okay then I am. You should trust me."

He sighed.

"I do but after what you just told me outside…I'm not just walking away."

She heard more than concern etched in his voice. His eyes had been watching hers as she had spilled those words mostly because she couldn't contain them anymore where she had stashed them away. Doing whatever she needed to do just to survive each day…to get through each day.

"Okay…didn't you say something about dessert?"

He brightened up then and got up off of the sofa to go fetch some decadent chocolate cake. She knew that just by looking at it and when he handed her a piece of it with a fork and a napkin, she knew she'd be in heaven once she tasted it. Chocolate had always been one of her weakness and damn him for knowing and remembering that. He started eating his piece too.

"This is great Houston…thanks…and for dinner."

"You're very welcome," he said, "I miss this C.J. spending time together and just forgetting about the rest of the world."

She heard the wistfulness in his voice and she knew on some level that she'd put some of it there…without meaning to do. But he had to understand that everything had changed that night and the time since.

"Me too Houston…but I told you why it'll never be the same."

He nodded at that.

"Maybe…"

"Not maybe Houston…"

She saw him trying to digest that. He'd always been used to fixing things for people when he wasn't out rescuing them. Even she on several occasions when her life had been in danger…but this time no one had been able to rescue anybody. Not for Will and not for her and at least Matt had been able to keep Will from dying until they were finally rescued.

But she had been all alone with a monster.

She felt her eyes sting but he wasn't looking at her. He ate his cake thoughtfully while she finished hers. They both put their plates on the table by them at about the same time. He rubbed his forehead then with a couple of fingers and she knew he'd been thinking.

"Houston…you did what you had to do," she said, "Will was lying on the floor bleeding…and dying. He would have died if it hadn't been for you."

He nodded, but still looked pensive.

"But what about you…I saw them take you but then I heard Will…in pain."

She nodded.

"Yeah I know…I saw him while they took me away," she said, "I was so scared Houston…so scared that would be the last time I'd ever see him…and you…if I never saw you again…"

She felt wetness in her eyes that time.

"I felt so angry…and so scared…I couldn't think about what it'd be like if I lost you," she said, "I didn't think about…where they were taking me."

He looked away from her then and she knew he remembered too. He'd gazed up at her as they took her, their eyes meeting for one moment. Time that passed too quickly for anything to be said even silently just by looking…and when he'd been out of sight, she'd said a quick silent prayer for him and the others. She hadn't prayed for herself.

But Matt nodded, his face looking grim.

"I was scared that Will was dying…I'd just found him again after too many years thinking he was dead…Uncle Roy was right there watching his son bleeding to death."

"But he didn't," she said, "He made it because you saved him."

He grew very quiet then, looking down at his hands.

"I didn't save you…"

He'd said it so quietly she didn't think she'd even heard the words right. But then he repeated them again louder, this time looking at her face. His expression looked so stricken then that her heart skipped a beat.

"Houston, you can't save everyone…Will was going to die…and there's nothing you could do for me to stop…"

She placed her hand over her mouth trying to stop the flow of memories from slicing through her again. Suddenly she felt like running again, her muscles tensing, her body springing into flight.

"Excuse me…"

And then she was gone.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo looked up to see Milan standing in the entrance to his office. He had moved once again to keep one step ahead of the dragnet that pursued him. Not that it would because he had his own means of keeping tabs on what move it would make before it did. It was amazing what even those who had taken an oath to protect and serve would do if you waved enough cash in front of them.<p>

"What is it?"

Milan leaned against the doorway.

"Gunthor's on the line," he said, "he wishes to speak with you."

Rodrigo picked up his glass of scotch.

"He still is heading to his new estate?"

Milan nodded.

"Yes, he just has some matters to handle on his end," he said, "I think another one of his mistresses got caught betraying him."

Rodrigo sighed, shaking his head.

"I told him to be careful," he said, "to keep them young, naïve and stupid."

Milan shrugged.

"This one was that but she was stupid enough to cross him…not that she'll have much time to learn from that mistake."

Rodrigo didn't think so. Gunthor wasn't the forgiving type, the punishments he dished out were both imaginative and ruthless.

"I thought he already had a favorite," he said, "an intern perhaps?"

Milan nodded.

"She didn't like the idea of being outsourced so she got rid of her competition," he said, "finally a mistress as ruthless as her master."

Rodrigo laughed.

"How poetic," he said, "Gunthor's going to have to learn that in the pursuit of pleasure through control and dominance, one can't neglect his business empire."

Milan nodded.

"He'll be arriving at the estate to collect his purchase pretty soon," he said, "and he said that he wants us to attend his soiree."

Rodrigo drank from his glass.

"I'm looking forward to that," he said, "and seeing what Gunthor has in mind for that traitorous bitch."

Milan went to pour himself a drink to join his boss.

"You are going to miss her at all," he said, "after all, the night of the party…"

Rodrigo smiled.

"Yes I will always have that…she's a fine piece for any man…what did you think of her?"

Milan's hand stopped while he poured the drink but then he finished. He picked his glass and sipped it.

"I…I found her to be quite special," he said, "I figured when you put up for auction, she'd prove expensive."

Rodrigo nodded.

"I'm sure Gunthor will get a nice return on his investment," he said, "though he says he's got no plans to send her to one of his whorehouses."

"Keeping her for himself or a select clientele," Milan said, "She'll last a bit longer that way."

Rodrigo went to pour himself more Scotch feeling suddenly in a celebratory mood. He couldn't wait to come out of exile just enough to slip into Gunthor's housewarming gala.

"Anything else boss…?"

Rodrigo looked up at Milan and shook his head.

"You can take the rest of the day off," he said, "but call up Estella and tell me I'll need one of her best whores tonight."

"I'll do that…good night…"

Rodrigo watched Milan leave and then settled into finishing up the Scotch at his desk before he had to continue working on his plans to expand his empire beyond drugs, to what could prove to be even more lucrative. After all, drugs could only be sold once…

Not so with humans.

He'd have to keep an eye on Gunthor though. He wasn't ready to move in on him yet but maybe in the not so distant future…

Milan stepped out into the hallway and heard his phone vibrate. He took it out and looked at it, seeing a picture of a phoenix. Then he went outside of the building to get into his car.

* * *

><p>Matt walked down the hallway to where he knew C.J. had gone when she left him. He headed towards her bedroom. She'd left the door open and he saw her lying on the bed curled up in a fetal position, her body shaking.<p>

Watching her like that tore him up inside all over again. Her words to him had been meant to shut him out but when she'd opened up just a little bit…he'd pushed too hard. He hadn't known what to do to reach that part of her that she'd tucked away from him and the rest of the world.

But as he looked at her there, he knew what he needed to do now.


	30. Chapter 30

"Hey C.J…"

Her voice came out of the darkness.

"No don't…I don't want you to see me like this."

He had started to approach her on the bed because he felt that she needed someone to just hold her tightly and not say anything. But now she pushed against him even as she lay there defenseless against her memories.

"I'm not leaving…I told you that."

She remained silent.

"I'll just sit right here…"

The mattress gave as he sat down on the edge.

"And listen if you have anything to say…"

She just remained quiet but he knew her mind raced inside of her. It'd been like that for him when he thought he'd gotten Will killed all those years ago. It'd been his fault that his uncle had to bury his son in an empty grave, with just a marker. On Veterans' Day he had often visited it but he hadn't known what to say.

Nothing he thought could ever bring him back. Until the day he'd gotten that phone call from the informant who had worked for the crime lord that kept Will in a cage almost as a pet. Sometimes miracles did happen and people returned from the dead.

But he'd spent his years in between so twisted inside in ways he never showed to anyone. C.J. saw through him at times and if it hadn't been for her watching over him when his emotions threatened to spill over his reserve, he didn't know where he'd be. His heart had been in his throat when Will had been shot and it had been a roller coaster ride even after the feds raided the estate.

Will had been strong willed enough to survive the bullet wound but his spinal cord had been damaged. The doctors couldn't say exactly how much or how much of it he'd get back. He might never walk again, they said but they hadn't known his cousin.

"We all love you C.J.," Matt said, "Will, Roy and me and your friends…we care about you so damn much."

He felt the sting in his own eyes at saying that. The people he had listed were those she loved so fiercely herself she'd die for them if necessary. He knew that about her.

It'd been awfully close a couple of times including with him. Not just the bullet wounds that she had taken for him but in other ways. Too many ways to count.

"I know…but right now I don't know what to do."

Her voice soft and resigned which told him how tired she felt right now…he realized how much of it he had missed.

"I don't know how to survive…I know he's coming after me but I don't know if I want to stop him."

A chill filled him at her words because she sounded as if suddenly all the fight had gone out of her. She had been working though some really hard therapy. He knew because he recognized her in himself when he'd been trying so hard to cope with losing his cousin and being left alive to ruminate over what he did wrong the rest of his life. Sometimes all his emotions tangled up inside where he kept them hidden from the world, threatened to erupt all at once. Pain, rage, sadness and fear, he couldn't distinguish one from the other which had paralyzed him.

"I'm going to protect you…"

"How…he's out there and he's coming for us and he's already taken from me…what else does he want?"

Matt knew he wanted to finish them both off, the only witnesses who would definitively put him away for good if they lived to face off with him in court. But now that he'd gotten loose…Rodrigo wouldn't stop until he got his revenge.

For him that meant death, a bullet to a head, being shoved off of a cliff to a quick end. But for C.J. Rodrigo had something else in mind…and Matt wouldn't ever let him get close enough to hurt her again. Some things were worth dying for and protecting the woman near him was at the top of his list. But there were things worth living for and he so wanted to live.

"Houston…I don't want anything to happen to you," she said, "I want you to get out of her and be someplace safe."

His answer came quickly.

"Not without you," he said, "My place is here."

"But I put you in danger by not going back to L.A.," she said, "I just can't face my old life there…not with everything that's happened. It's all changed and I'm not her anymore."

She meant that she didn't feel she was the woman he worked alongside solving cases and conducting business deals before all this happened. The woman that he had spent the most incredible week of his life with on a tropical coastline…before the night that changed everything…

"You mean everything to me," he said, "You always have and nothing will ever change that…not for me."

He heard her sigh deeply and he wanted to move closer but she needed her space.

"I know…I feel the same way about you but it's all different now."

"Not for me," he said, "nothing will ever change the way I feel…ever."

"Houston…you don't know what I did," she said, "but there was no other way."

Her voice sounded ragged, raw and the emotions tore through him.

"I know that…Rodrigo and his men, they were in control not us," he said, "and it was like that since even before that night."

She paused.

"We were set up…only I don't know who to trust…"

Matt sighed, because at this point, his suspicions had only grown that he hadn't been told everything about the assignment they had accepted. Mac…Brock and the rest of them might just have viewed them as a means to an end. He did know that they had been after Rodrigo for so long, waiting years for the right time to break his operation wide open…and now if he had branched out into prostitution...

He knew that the man who had bought C.J. from him might be waiting for his prize and if Rodrigo didn't deliver, that could generate conflict between the two of them. If that happened, would it buy more time to find Rodrigo? Matt hoped so because there weren't any fresh leads on his whereabouts yet he sensed that he might be getting closer. With a man like Rodrigo, they wouldn't know he had arrived until it was too late.

"I told him…I told him about it…"

Matt furrowed his brow.

"Told who?"

"Brock…afterward…"

Matt remembered that she had slipped away from the hospital for several hours once they knew Will had survived the surgery.

"You told him about what happened with Rodrigo?"

"Yes…I…I didn't know what to do," she said, "When Serena came in the room, I knew that we were going to make it and that it wasn't the end."

"So what did he do?"

She paused for a long moment.

"It doesn't matter now…but he said it would hurt the investigation."

Matt narrowed his eyes.

"What…how? If Rodrigo hurt you then that should add to ensuring his conviction."

"He said it would look like entrapment," she said, "that his lawyers would use it against the government because we were hired as their agents."

Matt felt incredulous. What the hell would Bryce be talking about, how could the nightmare that she had experienced with Rodrigo possibly damage the feds prosecution of Rodrigo?

"Entrapment…how so…you were his hostage thanks to the feds..."

She curled up even tighter on the bed.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," she said, "It won't change anything."

Matt knew that he had to let the subject rest…for now. But he had a few things he wanted to ask Brock when he crossed paths with him.

"Can you hold me?"

He blinked his eyes surprised but he didn't hesitate. He moved onto the bed and drew her close to him so she could tuck her head underneath his chin. His arms wrapped around her as she relaxed against him.

"Sure…as long as you want."

She settled against him and he knew that she closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo looked at the man who had entered his office. Tall, with dark hair and a mustache, the black outfit he wore sheathed a muscular frame. One honed through intensive training from back in his military days and he'd never lost that edge.<p>

"Congratulations on your winning bid," Rodrigo said, "I believe you won't be disappointed when you see her."

Gunthor sat down in a nearby chair.

"I hope not," he said, "though I would have bid much more because I hate the feds. To own one of them to do as I please…I'd pay millions more for that pleasure."

"She was an independent contractor for them."

Gunthor shifted in his seat.

"Do you think that matters," he said, "Milan has been telling me about her when he's been the liaison between our businesses."

Rodrigo smiled at him from his chair.

"You've become a great success…as far as legitimate businesses go, you picked very well."

Gunthor nodded.

"It helps that I enjoy that side," he said, "as much as my other line of work."

Rodrigo refreshed his glass from the vodka bottle on his desk. Gunthor had declined any offer of a drink because he'd be flying his jet.

"How are your wife and children?"

Gunthor smiled.

"Living at the estate far from here," he said, "I shield them from the unpleasant side of the world as much as possible."

"And your mistresses…?"

"I have uses for them too."

Rodrigo nodded as Gunthor appeared to have a ready answer to all his questions. But few people dared to cross a man like him. He had his ruthless moments, he could slit a man's throat one moment and host a business dinner the next.

"Will you be heading to the estate soon?"

"Ah yes…as soon as I finish a project," he said, "I'm waiting to hear back from my liaison. She's with the project manager now."

"Working very hard for you?"

"Yes…though lately most of it's been on her knees."

Rodrigo knew what Gunthor expected from the women who he kept. He envied him that ability to get so much use out of them.

"I'll see you at your party then," Rodrigo said, "I look forward to it and by then you'll have your prize."

"I look forward to that," Gunthor said, "and I have a surprise or two as well."

Rodrigo smiled knowing that Gunthor meant what he said and he couldn't wait to find out what was in store. He heard movement at the doorway and looked up to see Milan standing there.

"What is it?"

"I have the reports," Milan said, "I think you'd better see them."

Gunthor stood up to leave as both Rodrigo and Milan watched before getting down to work.

Rodrigo had plans of his own regarding his own future and soon he would be on his way.


	31. Chapter 31

Matt woke up during the night and looked over at the woman sleeping beside him. She'd curled up against him without knowing it, right where she belonged. It'd been too long since they'd slept together like that and he hadn't realized until now how much he'd missed it…and her.

But when she woke up, he didn't know how she'd react. Would she be scared and pull away from him, would she leave the room and run away? He still didn't know everything because what she'd told him had been piecemeal so far. His mind tried so hard to fill in the gaps and that just led to ugliness that made him want to recoil.

Not from her but in a way that made him want to go hunt down Rodrigo and kill him. It's not like he didn't have enough reason knowing that out there the ruthless drug dealer was out trying to hunt them down. He'd never let him get close enough to hurt the woman lying next to him.

Only a few months ago, they'd been together in a way he'd never imagined would happen for them. He'd learned that what he thought he'd wanted in life paled next to the reality of what he'd found with her during that week spent together in Mexico before…

He felt her move closer to him and he put his arm around her to pull her closer. She placed her head on his chest, still asleep. His cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket. He saw that it was Will. He pulled away enough from C.J. very gently as to not disrupt her sleep but he hated doing it. But he didn't expect Will to call him.

"What's up cousin?"

"Not much…Dad and I were watching a movie…but it's almost lights out."

Matt heard the humor in Will's voice.

"So how's rehab been treating you?"

"Been kicking my ass…but I think I'm going to get out of her ahead of schedule…"

He heard the excitement in his voice and he couldn't wait until that day arrived but would he still be in a wheelchair or back on his feet? The doctors had been uncertain of his prognosis but they'd been hopeful more lately because of his amazing progress.

"You need to get it kicked Will…and you need to talk to Deanna."

His cousin was silent a long moment.

"She cares about you Will and I'm learning that when a woman cares about you, you don't turn your back on her."

Will sighed.

"I don't know…I don't know what she wants or what she's prepared to face in case…"

Matt knew he meant in case he remained paralyzed from the waist down the rest of his life.

"You got to let her make that decision herself and not make it for her."

"Yeah well, easier said than done…"

Something Matt did understand.

"I get that Will…I do…I treated C.J. the same way and I had no right…"

"Damn straight you didn't," Will said, "I can't believe what an ass you were to her."

Matt sighed, knowing his cousin was right.

"I know that but I'm with her right now and she's okay…she's asleep."

Will responded quickly.

"She's not okay…she's still reliving what happened to her that night…just like happened to me."

"I know…and I got to figure out what we're going to do about Rodrigo."

Will sighed.

"He's pretty well connected," he said, "If he wants to remain out of sight, it's going to be tough to track him down…"

"He's going to show up here sooner or later," Matt said, "We're both here and he's got his sights set on C.J."

"Then you got to get some guys down there to protect her…and you."

Matt rubbed his forehead.

"Brock knew about what happened with her."

His cousin met him with silence.

"He didn't want her to say anything about it to anyone…worried it would jeopardize their case."

"How…how in the hell could what Rodrigo did hurt the feds' case against him?"

Matt paused.

"They'd find a way to blame her for it," he said, "Rodrigo's lawyer would go after her and the feds…some kind of claim of entrapment."

Will swore immediately.

"That's damn crazy…thinking he could get away with that."

"He might…if he's able to buy himself top legal counsel…at least that's what Brock must be thinking."

"You talk with him?"

"Not yet…but I'm calling him in the morning about it…and tell him what I think."

"He's your friend Houston," Will said, "I'm sure he's just thinking as a professional but he's wrong."

"Of course he's wrong…C.J. didn't do anything wrong…something horrible was done to her and…and I couldn't do anything for her…or you."

Will sighed.

"Houston you can't talk like that," he said, "Bad stuff…horrible stuff happened and none of us could stop it. Not her, not me and not even you…what's important is how we go on with our lives…and not give those thugs any more than what they've taken."

Matt looked down at C.J. who wore a peaceful look on her face.

"I plan on doing that…after Rodrigo's taken care of so he can't come back and hurt her."

C.J. woke up and opened her eyes listening to Matt on the phone.

"If that means killing him myself…I will if it comes to that…and there won't be any second chance for him this time."

"Then if it does come to that…have a plan and don't go at it alone…my father will help you and others…I wish I could do more myself."

"You got to concentrate on mending yourself and getting cut loose from that place."

C.J. started to sit up and Matt looked over at her. Her eyes lit on him with concern.

"Houston…what's this about killing Rodrigo…I don't want to lose you to him…"

Matt sighed.

"Will, I'll let you go and call you back later when I have that plan."

He clicked off his phone and turned to C.J.

"You sleep okay?"

She nodded.

"I meant what I said Houston…I don't want to bury you over this…I don't want to tell your family that you're gone."

He stroked a tendril of hair off of her face.

"Won't happen C.J.," he said, "I'm planning on being very careful."

"Houston…it's not going to matter because if you make one mistake with him…"

"It's only if he shows up here," he said, "I'm more than willing to let the feds take care of him unless he pops into town. I'm not going to let him near you."

She nodded.

"Okay…but don't do anything without telling me okay…because then I'll be upset with you."

Matt knew she meant it and he stroked her face with his fingers looking at her.

"Okay then but since it's not tonight…why don't we just relax a little bit…we both got to go back to the estate and do some work and you look like you need some rest."

She pursed her lips.

"You are planning on staying then?"

"If you want…then yeah I'm staying."

She slid her arms around him and hugged him closely, inhaling his scent. He hugged her back and they settled back down on the bed, her resting her head on his chest. She did feel awfully tired and she slept better in his embrace.

Matt held her as she nodded off again. He felt more than a little restless but he'd keep his promise to her and not go looking for Rodrigo but…he knew that the man would spare no time and expense to hunt them down and he felt pretty sure the drug lord was closing in on them.

He hadn't heard from Brock, Enrique or any of the others. But he wasn't waiting for any alerts or help from them. When it came to C.J. he wouldn't wait for danger to come knocking, he'd more than meet it up front.

Gunthor settled back in his seat as his Lear jet flew him to San Francisco Airport. He'd catered some steak and potatoes onto the plane which was luxuriously furnished almost like a hotel suite. Even a bedroom in the back of the cabin where he'd left to eat some late night dinner. He'd been flying from London and gotten a lot of work done while his mistress kept him busy relaxing in between.

Rodrigo had called him earlier to tell him that he and Milan would be at the party and he thought that they would both enjoy it. He didn't trust either one but he knew a good business deal when he saw one and buying that piece of merchandise from Rodrigo…it had taken quite a bit of capital but he could afford it. He'd called his assistant Carlos who told him that his estate would soon be ready for his arrival once he conducted his business in the Bay Area city. Then he'd fly the Lear to the small airport outside the town near his new estate and settle in for a while.

The room where he'd keep his prize had been finished and Carlos had emailed him photos to prove it was to his specifications. He would have a group of other young women from one of his stables to keep the men entertained after business had been completed.

A woman with long dark hair joined him, wrapped up in a blanket.

"Why did you leave me?"

He sat while she joined him on the couch and then he cupped her face with a hand.

"Because I have work to do before we land," he said, "My first meeting is an hour later and then I've got a conference call to China."

She shrugged.

"Sounds like all the more reason to relax while you can."

He perused her coolly.

"You want to help me relax?"

She tightened her hold on her sheet and nodded. He maneuvered himself so that he had her pinned to the sofa, unzipping his pants to pull out his erection. He thrust it inside of her while grabbing hold of her hair tightly pulling it so she cried out.

"Oh…ouch…"

He chuckled.

"I though you liked that edge of pain from me."

"I…I…god…"

He had thrust his hips pushing himself inside her wetness, the couch shuddering under their bodies. She sighed against him and he knew that it wouldn't be difficult to please her. He thought about what would happen in San Francisco and then after he completed his work there and headed to his estate.

Carlos told him that the woman had been working on his gardens, planting roses and other flowers. The photos looked impressive. But he hadn't paid a couple million for her landscaping scales …no he had other plans for her. Exactly what he wouldn't decide until the night he collected his property.

"Oh Gunthor…you're sooo….hot…"

She shuddered against him and he knew in a moment he'd join her…but as often was, his mind was elsewhere.


	32. Chapter 32

C.J. fell asleep after telling Matt not to go after Rodrigo. The dreams hit her as they usually did, drawing her into their lair until she was unable to escape.

Just as it had been with him that night when they had separated her from the other women.

"It's time for the real party to start," some guy told her.

The two men got her up and she went with them. Rodrigo awaited her as she knew he would and he walked up to her and touched her face with one of his hands. She flinched to get away from him but the two other men held her tightly.

"You're not going anywhere until we're finished."

She just stared at them.

"What do you want?"

He moved closer gripping her hips with his hands until his face was inches away.

"You know what we want," he said, "and you're here to give it to us."

She pushed against him suddenly, repulsed by his nearness, his touch.

"Get away from me."

His face hardened and next thing she knew, he slapped her on the face hard. He then grabbed her chin with one of his hands and forced her to look at him.

"You move, you fight, and you won't get out of here alive and neither will they."

She just stared at him, a captive audience.

"You understand?"

C.J. woke up suddenly and the bed was empty. Matt had gotten up and she could hear some activity coming from the kitchen. He must be cooking some breakfast, she thought with a smile. Her heart had been racing when she'd opened her eyes because at first she thought…but of course she was miles and months away from her dream. Still it always returned during the hours of night when her guard came down. When she'd fallen asleep, Matt' arms had been around her tightly and she'd been wrapped in his warmth. Feeling safe and secure in a world that was anything but-still at least for a little while.

She got up and grabbed a robe to go and join him. Sure enough when she walked in the kitchen, she saw a mess of eggs frying in a pan on the stove while the counter was littered with his attempts to make what looked like omelets.

"I found some of your peppers."

She nodded.

"Looks good…we have to head on out there today."

"Yeah, there's a ton of landscaping still to do with that lagoon he wants around his pool."

She picked up two pieces of bread and stuck them in the toaster.

"Yeah I'm about done with the roses," she said, "Then I'll be in that orchard or at least I think that's what it is."

Matt worked the omelet as the sounds of it cooking filled the kitchen.

"I hope Carlos has an updated itinerary for us," he said, "and when the master of the residence is expected to arrive."

"By the time we're finished I assume. I'm curious about him."

"This Gunthor character and what he really does for a living?"

She nodded. Obviously Matt had the same questions about their boss as she did.

"Major importer I've heard and read but a man of mystery too," she said, "He was in _Forbes_ a couple months ago when he expanded his base."

Matt got some plates for the omelets and filled them with what looked and smelled delicious.

"He's based in Europe so I wonder why he bought the place."

C.J. looked at him knowingly.

"We both know…guy probably has girlfriends stashed all over the globe," she said, "At least that's the gossip."

She knew there'd be even more of that when he finally arrived among the people living in the town. Other businessmen with loads of cash and capital had bought up beachfront property outside of town but none quite like Gunthor.

"That's just gossip."

"He wouldn't be bringing his real family here," she said, "He'd keep them safe and under secure guard somewhere back home. A man like him, someone could come after them for money or a piece of what he owns."

Matt sighed.

"If he were doing anything illegal, but he seems straight up, a legit businessman."

C.J. hedged. She didn't know enough about Gunthor to answer that. She'd learned not to trust anyone she didn't know well. Many powerful and wealthy men had secrets and she didn't think Gunthor would prove any differently. Hopefully his secrets involved a mistress or two or maybe a hidden financial stash in some offshore bank account but well, the guy was just mysterious.

They ate breakfast as sunlight streamed through the window. It looked to be another scorcher of a day out on the estate.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo looked up at Milan.<p>

"They'll never find me here."

His lieutenant shrugged.

"They're out there looking," he said, "Maybe you need to go further underground for a while."

Rodrigo just smiled.

"I have no intentions of missing Gunthor's house warming party and seeing that bitch get what's coming to her."

Milan came into the room where Rodrigo had mixed orange juice with some vodka and was eating huevos rancheros and roasted potatoes.

"It might not be safe."

Rodrigo lifted his fork.

"No Milan I will be there," he said, "Besides Gunthor promised he'd ship in some nice whores for the party's guests."

Milan poured himself some juice in a glass.

"I've heard he's put together quite a collection," he said, "He opened up a new brothel in Amsterdam and another in Oslo."

Rodrigo nodded.

"I've been thinking of going into whores myself, but I'd never go onto his turf. Gunthor is very smooth and polished but he's ruthless underneath…not far removed from where he came from."

"Well he had a hard life growing up," Milan said, "His mother a dying whore…his father, well it took quite a while for him to admit he had a bastard son."

Rodrigo nodded.

"Not much different than many lives," he said, "but his ruthlessness comes from elsewhere. He'd be like that even if he grew up spoiled in the wealthiest of circumstances."

"You could partner with him in running whores."

Rodrigo sipped his drink.

"No…Gunthor doesn't do partnerships. He's a bit of loner. He'll align himself with someone just enough to get what he wants from him."

"There's a ton of money in it."

"I know and there are other channels in the trade. Children…in some of those countries where the men have died in wars…soldier fodder to be used."

"Lot of money in that too…"

Rodrigo looked at Milan and knew his right hand man was ambitious. Oh not enough to turn on him at least not right now. He knew how to keep men like him in check, to keep them from wanting to branch out on their own using what they've learned. And Milan wasn't the hardest of men to keep happy as it turned out.

"But the women," Rodrigo said, "That's the part of it I want…once my troubles are done here of course."

"Once you get C.J. and Matt out of the picture," Milan said, "There won't be anyone left to give you trouble. The feds case against you isn't the strongest."

Yes, they'd been caught during the raid at the party but Rodrigo's men had been able to eliminate a lot of the narcotics and some of the cash flowing there. And once his lawyer started poking holes in the kidnapping cases, including entrapment it might just all fall apart like a house of cards leaving him free again.

Free to do what he wanted including branching out in any new business ventures. He wouldn't step on Gunthor's toes but that didn't mean he wouldn't compete with him. Still for now, he needed to keep that close to his chest.

* * *

><p>Gunthor hit the hotel in San Francisco, the gym first and then the sauna. He always trained hard, honing his body to keep his edge. He had a lot of business rivals out to take what he had built the first moment he showed any weakness.<p>

The woman was waiting when he returned of course. She would be his date for the night since his latest girlfriend was otherwise occupied. He didn't trust women enough to keep one around for long. As for his wife, she was behind a locked compound on his island estate.

He missed it sometimes only retreating there several times a year. He'd grown up without parents so he knew his children would survive. Better for them not to be mixed up in his business, it made them less vulnerable to his enemies.

The woman, a redhead looked up at him.

"You're not too bad looking…"

He appraised her coolly.

"You are making someone a fortune with what you've got between your legs," he said, "but if you don't respect me, I could impact your stock value."

She looked at him, her cocky smile dimming somewhat. Good, he thought, no woman ever spoke that way to him and he had ways of keeping them in line. She would understand that before long.

"Where are we going?"

"You're staying here until I return. You can go down by the pool and get some sun if you want or head to the spa but I'll be back later and I expect to see you in the clothes I've chosen."

She shrugged.

"As long as you don't smack women around…"

He stared at her.

"I don't do that unless it's absolutely necessary," he said, "There are other ways to get my point across of who's in control."

If she didn't believe that, she'd find out later if she tested him. She'd find out rather quickly as they all did…

But he'd be thinking about the prize waiting for him at his new estate, the one he'd paid quite a chunk of cash to possess. He'd find out soon enough if he made a good investment. He'd get a problem off of Rodrigo's hands and that would buy him more time to figure out how to handle what he knew to be a man intent on poaching his business.

Rodrigo wanted in on whores even if he didn't admit it. Gunthor had his own ways of dealing with poachers too.


	33. Chapter 33

C.J. looked at the roses which she had just finished planting. All different shades of the rainbow including her favorite, orange, and she went back to fetch another bottle of water. She took off the lid and drank most of it down at once, the liquid easing her parched throat. Matt had disappeared into what looked more and more like a lagoon on some tropical island.

She finished her water and looked up to see a vehicle heading towards them. She recognized it as Clover's and saw the woman park the car inside the gate and get out of the car. Clover looked around her almost in awe and C.J. had to smile. That had been her impression when she'd first seen this place even before they had started the landscaping.

"Hey where's Matt?"

C.J. looked up at Clover.

"He's over in the area by the pool."

Clover nodded.

"Yeah he told me the guy who bought this place wanted to set up some kind of jungle paradise. To have enough money to go crazy with it."

C.J. smiled.

"You met him yet?"

C.J. shook her head.

"No but he's going to inspect it when it's done."

Clover sighed as she took in the surroundings and took in Carlos who was watching the two of them from underneath a huge tree. He had his clipboard with him and C.J. knew he'd walk up to her soon with more adjustments in the landscaping plan. Gunthor seemed to change his mind frequently it seemed.

"I heard he's a wealthy but mysterious man," Clover said, "but then with all that money, he can buy his own privacy."

And security, C.J. thought because she knew that Carlos supervised the installation of a rather sophisticated alarm and security system which would turn the estate into a fortress. Carlos kept most of the information on that under wraps.

"You don't mind if I'm dropping by to see him do you?"

C.J. arched her brows, why would she mind? She knew that Clover had designs on Matt and that didn't affect her. After all, she didn't think what she said to him would really change anything. Matt needed a woman who could give him what he needed not someone like her who was still trying to come to terms with what had happened some months ago.

"No…I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

Clover looked happy enough about that and she left to go find him. C.J. watched and then went to get her lunch, a sandwich she'd picked up at the deli. She unwrapped it and ate it on her feet taking in the view of the clear day and the ocean that stretched to the horizon.

Matt looked up and saw Clover approach him. She smiled and he got up and brushed off his worn jeans. He'd been training some vines to wind around so that they'd appear to have grown that way in some rain forest. It had been a long morning and his muscles ached a bit from crouched on the ground.

"You look like you need a break."

He reached for his water bottle and wiped his forehead. The sweat soaked the back of his shirt.

"It's about time for lunch…seen C.J.?"

She nodded still smiling.

"She's got the same idea…say I was thinking maybe we could go to the club tonight."

Matt brushed the sweat off his forehead and put the bottle down.

"I don't think so," he said, "I think I'm going to have an early night. I'll be tired by the time I'm done here."

She nodded slowly.

"I could make you some dinner. We could make a quiet night at my place."

Matt knew how she wanted it to end but he'd told her that he wasn't interested in that kind of relationship. He thought she'd accepted that but she had that look in her eyes that he recognized.

"Hey nothing has to happen," she said, "We could just go casual…watch a movie or something."

He sighed.

"I don't think so…"

She pursed her lips.

"Is it C.J…?"

He paused, sipping his water again. It sure had grown hot during the morning and humidity clung to the estate like a blanket. She waited expectantly for his answer.

"She and I…we've been best friends since we were kids…"

"I know that," Clover said, "but I thought anything you shared was in the past."

Matt hedged remembering what he'd said. But a lot had changed since then. Since he'd tracked her down here and started uncovering the truth behind what had divided them.

"It's complicated and I like keeping my life simple as possible."

Clover shrugged.

"Okay then…well if you change your mind."

Matt didn't figure on that happening but he nodded and then went to fetch his lunch to join C.J. He and Clover then walked over to where she sat finishing up her own food. He knew that she'd been hungry like him having worked hard despite the heat.

"Clover…what are you doing here?"

The other woman joined her by sitting near the tree.

"Just coming to check on your work," she said, "You've really changed this place and I didn't think that was possible."

C.J. shrugged.

"It's been abandoned for a while," she said, "but it wasn't completely neglected."

"I imagine that the money must be good," Clover said, "Adela said that the new owner dumped a lot of cash at her when he needed someone to fix it up."

Matt wondered about that.

"Did he know her?"

"No…I guess he knew we were the only landscaping business in town."

Matt frowned.

"I wondered why he wouldn't bring his own people to do the work but I'm not complaining. It's been great even though the days are long."

"We miss you at the nursery but you're almost done right?"

He nodded.

"The owner's going to throw his shindig in about a week or so Carlos said…he should be arriving in town before that."

Clover smiled.

"So you finally get to meet the mystery man? I heard he's loaded but somewhat reclusive in his personal life."

"He's got a family," C.J. said, "I think he keeps them on an estate on an island near Italy."

Clover frowned.

"I heard he keeps them on some fortress somewhere far away. Must have to worry about kidnappers for ransom and the like."

Matt figured as much. He learned firsthand the hard way what could happen when you came from money and people wanted it. Even kidnapping a child wasn't beneath them. So he knew that a man like Gunthor would surround those he loved with armed guards and plenty of security to keep them safe.

"I wonder if he's got a whole other life outside family and that's part of the secrecy."

"That's possible," C.J. said, "but I'm here just to do the job and it's coming along nicely. I'm sure he'll be pleased."

Matt nodded.

"He's made enough changes to the original plan," he said, "Carlos comes up with them every day when we arrive."

C.J. chuckled ruefully.

"Sure does…for a businessman who's the top in his industry, Gunthor seems more than a little indecisive."

Not to mention that there was so much of the renovation that they didn't know about including what had been done inside the mansion.

"He had a whole team inside the house I heard," Clover said, "No one from town was hired for that job."

Matt knew that the work done probably included a top of the line security system so he'd probably have his own trusted people to put that together. The fewer people outside his circle that knew about that the better…

He looked forward to meeting this Gunthor guy and maybe find out a little what made him tick.

* * *

><p>Rodrigo turned to Milan.<p>

"You dumped the body?"

Milan nodded.

"You almost attracted a crowd," he said, "But I managed to slip her out and drop her in the ocean."

"She won't drift back to shore?"

Milan shook his head.

"Not before the sharks find her," he said, "There won't be enough left to ID her."

Rodrigo nodded.

"Good then…she struggled too much," he said, "I had to punish her."

"You strangled her," Milan said, "You lost control."

Rodrigo sighed as both men walked through the French Doors to look out into the vast ocean where the body of one more inconsequential life had been added. The helicopter trip had taken 20 minutes and dropping the brunette in the ocean hadn't taken long.

"I couldn't help it," Rodrigo said, "She crossed the line…besides we've got enough brunettes of her type who know how to obey orders."

"In the brothels yes…"

"There are plenty more out there," Rodrigo said, "Enough on her, any word from Gunthor?"

Milan straightened up.

"He's in San Francisco…supervising his renovations at the estate including some special additions."

Rodrigo grinned.

"He's a strange guy but he's rich so that makes it easy to hide."

Milan put his arms on the concrete siding looking outward.

"He's a little bit poorer," he said, "but he seems to want in the trade."

Rodrigo sighed.

"I know and I'm not sure he's got the disposition for it," he said, "He's better with designing drugs than with our brand of commerce."

"Is there room for him," Milan said, "It's getting quite competitive."

"I don't know…I still don't know how serious he is about it."

"Oh he's definitely serious. Gunthor never plays around with any of his ventures."

Rodrigo paused.

"That's what concerns me. He has the capital to move in and taken over a huge portion of it," he said, "We'll have to find a way to keep him in check."

"You're hardly in a position to act…with these indictments."

Rodrigo waved his hand.

"I'm not worried about that," he said, "the feds have yet to even locate me and I've ensured that they won't."

Milan shook his head.

"It's going to be tough to beat when you do."

Rodrigo smiled.

"Milan…I think you need to have more confidence in me," he said, "It's taken me years to reach the top and I have no intention of giving that up…see how I handled that traitorous bitch."

Milan had to concede that but concern still colored his perception. Rodrigo knew he had to work on his lieutenant because he needed him…for now anyway. At least until he got off of these ridiculous federal charges.

The phone rang and he picked it up. He looked over at Milan.

"It's Franco," he said, "He's got a shipment coming up from South America."

Milan nodded and left the room leaving his boss to do business and then to make a phone call of his own.


	34. Chapter 34

Gunthor inspected the latest blueprints to his estate. He had ordered Carlos to send him what had been finished so he could decide whether or not to change his mind. After all the planning, he wanted the estate to be perfect in its restoration.

In front, it looked very impressive and the landscaping came along nicely thanks to the hired help. The man who would die and the woman he now owned. The one who'd live in his estate inside the cage he had built underneath the ground floor.

The one not included in any of the blueprints. No one would ever know it existed except his chosen guests. After what had happened a year ago, he couldn't afford to take any chances, couldn't make any mistakes to lose this prize.

Someone had betrayed him, had betrayed the others and Rodrigo had assured him he'd find the interloper in their midst and execute him or her. But Gunthor didn't know how much faith he put in the other man's investigative skills. He had tried to find the other woman but it was like she had disappeared in thin air. But he knew it only looked that way, life being filled with illusions after all.

The phone rang and he knew it would be Rodrigo.

"So how's it looking?"

Gunthor smiled to himself as he had been pleased.

"It's going very well," he said, "Ahead of schedule. I'll be on my way soon after I'm done with business here and I'll get my first look at her."

"She'll be worth it," Rodrigo said, "She'll be a handful at first but you know all about that."

Indeed Gunthor did, but he hadn't become such a success in his new venture without taking a hard hand with everyone around him. He had proven to be a difficult boss but he also rewarded those loyal to him.

"I know…which is why I haven't decided whether or not to kill the other."

"You mean Matt," Rodrigo said, "It's up to you but he's very dangerous unless he's neutralized. You'll never be able to trust he's not behind you."

Gunthor chuckled.

"There's another ways to do that besides killing him," he said, "The threat of death or even torture will get that bitch to behave as I want…if she chooses to act up."

Rodrigo sighed.

"You are pretty ruthless underneath your Armani but that's why I like you…that's why I stopped the bidding on her when I did."

"Wise choice…I would have probably bid higher but I wouldn't have been happy about it."

Rodrigo paused and Gunthor knew why. In the past, Rodrigo had lorded over him but those days were numbered and he'd be subordinate to the man that would replace him. If Rodrigo was smart, he would know he had a choice. To yield his position readily or to be forced in that position, with the former being the easiest of course. But Gunthor would do what was necessary to take his place and he believed Rodrigo got that loudly and clearly.

"She's there right now finishing up the roses for me," Gunthor said, "in all the shades I asked. I've seen the footage and I have to say she's quite a beauty."

"Very beautiful…and even though she'll fight you, you'll enjoy yourself with her."

"No, I'll make it clear to her that lover boy will pay the price if she doesn't do as expected."

Gunthor had the means to compel anyone around him into doing as he wanted. The one who had gotten away hadn't changed that. If anything it had him more resolved and more deadly as a result when it became necessary.

"If you ensure he can't escape," Rodrigo said, "but Matt is nothing if not crafty."

"It won't be enough. Because I'll have her…"

Rodrigo knew that he never made idle promises or threats. This Matt would be no match for him.

"By the way have you found the traitor in your midst," Gunthor said, "I told you I wanted that done."

Rodrigo hesitated and Gunthor had his answer.

"No…not yet…he's proven to be hard to find," Rodrigo said, "but I have my best men looking for him…or her."

"You'd better find this person," Gunthor said, "before I run out of patience and decide on a method that's more scorched earth than you'd like."

He knew Rodrigo understood him. But he couldn't take any chances given that this betrayer in their midst had gotten the upper hand on them, something that couldn't ever be repeated if he were to survive let alone thrive in this business climate.

"We're doing our best."

Gunthor knew Rodrigo's best might not prove to be nearly good enough and he didn't relish having to take that job over but he didn't have a choice.

"We'll see about that," Gunthor said, "I'll contact you later."

"Right," Rodrigo said.

Gunthor clicked off the phone not nearly satisfied. Serious changes were going to have to be made and there would be some casualties in the mix.

Rodrigo shook his head as Milan walked into the room with two glasses and some scotch from the bar.

"Time to relax and celebrate," Milan said, "The latest purchase was a success. A dozen units for $5 million at auction."

Rodrigo's eyes widened a bit. Better results than he'd anticipated because it had been a higher class auction with merchandise that would draw in more cash once opened for business.

"Good…A couple of brothels in Rio and a private collector in Zurich are waiting for their orders to be filled."

Milan's eyes brightened.

"Got a bonus for you," he said, "Some sweet young thing that walked down the wrong street in Paris."

Milan dropped a photo of a young blonde girl about 18 on Rodrigo's desk, nicely shaped and wearing a bathing suit. Rodrigo felt himself go hard just from looking at her.

"She's waiting in your suite."

Rodrigo nodded and Milan sipped his drink looking at his boss.

"Milan…you take her first," he said, "Then if you like her, you can keep her."

Milan paused.

"I don't think so," he said, "She's earmarked for you boss."

"I think I'll sit and watch," Rodrigo said, "That can be as…stimulating. Put on a good show for me and I'll reward you."

Milan looked uncomfortable.

"I'll do that…"

"Good I'll enjoy watching you break her in," Rodrigo said, "almost as much as you will doing it."

Milan nodded.

"Okay…and as to the search for the traitor…"

Rodrigo waved his hand.

"I'll take care of that," he said, "Let's go collect your prize."

Milan followed him, he knew that but as with all things, this was a test and he sensed the other man knew that well.

* * *

><p>C.J. walked by the mansion back to the car with Matt joining her.<p>

"You ever see the inside of that house?"

She shook her head.

"No…but I heard it underwent extensive renovation," she said, "Must be quite impressive."

"I hope we get a tour after we're finished."

She nodded as she reached her car and got inside it to head back to the nursery as he did the same.

That night she struggled to sleep. God she was exhausted from working hard all day in the heat but somehow she just couldn't drift off. Matt had left the nursery not long after they had arrived joining Clover at some night club. It didn't look like they were an item but when she had invited him, he had accepted.

C.J. didn't know how she felt about that. She knew she wanted Matt to find someone and be happy. Yet…a part of her remembered what it'd been like in Mexico, when they'd become lovers. She'd wanted it so much, wanted him which made seeing reason difficult.

She wanted him still. But so much had happened. The undercover job that had turned into a nightmare had ripped into the fabric of what they had shared. At least their friendship was still intact but she still felt more tentative around the man she'd known most of her life.

Laying back in her bed, she gazed at the ceiling watching the shadows move across it. He'd never understand everything no matter how much he believed. If he knew the whole truth about what happened to her that night, he'd never would be able to look at her as he had in Mexico.

Serena had known pieces of it because she had found her after the commandos had seized the mansion. She had helped her get dressed in some clothes found in the closet. Her own had been ripped off of her by the men who had picked her out as their entertainment. Rodrigo and Milan…the worst of them.

She closed her eyes to shut them both out and that night. When she'd been forced to leave the other women to join Rodrigo and some of his men in the neighboring bedroom, she'd feared the worst but it didn't seem real until she faced Rodrigo.

"You're mine for tonight," he said, "I watched you all night and wanted a piece of you."

He'd stroked her face, her neck as if he owned her and she knew that night that he did. Nothing could stop it. Will had been shot; Matt and Roy were busy trying to save his life. She was separated from everyone she knew, not knowing what would happen to them.

"Milan…you'll have to wait your turn."

The other man chuckled harshly.

"Put on a good show boss."

She stood there as Rodrigo tugged on her dress, breaking the zipper off and forcing it down her body. He liked what he saw beneath it.

"You really dressed up to party tonight didn't you? Were you saving it all for him?"

She knew he meant Matt so she said nothing.

"Just pretend you're a whore and you'll get through this…"

It made her sick what Rodrigo said but she had no choice.

"Your friends will get through this," he said, "If you give me what I want."

She swallowed noisily, her throat dry as sandpaper. Rodrigo's hands moved over her lingerie, baring her. She heard fabric tear but it happened to someone else.

C.J. jolted herself awake and heard footsteps in the hallway. She jumped out of bed and went for her gun in the bureau. Damn, if she was going to be helpless in her bed as she had been that night at the mansion.

She heard the footsteps get closer and she aimed her gun to kill.


	35. Chapter 35

C.J. aimed her gun at the man who emerged from the shadows in front of her. Her eyes widened.

"Houston…?"

He had his hands raised slightly just staring at her.

"Who else…?"

Fury rocked through her.

"What the fuck are you doing here wandering in my house," she said, "I could have shot you."

"Yes I can see that."

"I should have shot you…"

She felt angry at him right now, because she had come much closer than she'd like to doing that. But what did he expect, getting inside her house while she tried to sleep? Waking up from another nightmare and hearing footsteps…she'd thought for a moment that Rodrigo had found her. She had already started planning her escape and if that meant shooting the man in the hallway so be it.

But it had been Matt and why…

"What are you doing in my house?"

He sighed.

"The window in your utility room," he said, "It was open."

She thought back to when she'd last been in there doing laundry. Had it been closed or open, she couldn't remember. But she still held her gun at him while her mind worked.

"Open?"

"Yes open and it could have been someone else besides me in your house while you slept."

She lowered her gun finally.

"God, I didn't know…"

"You have to be more careful," he said, "We've got no idea where Rodrigo is or what he's doing including the feds."

She snorted.

"I wouldn't expect much from them," she said, "given how much they've messed up so far."

"Me neither but I'm not thinking about them, I'm thinking about you and keeping you safe."

She nodded slowly. She did believe that even though it really was too late. She'd never feel safe again not even if they caught Rodrigo.

But they weren't even close to finding him and she knew he was out there looking for her and Matt right now.

"Okay but if you do that again Houston, I'm going to shoot you, get that?"

He appeared to understand how stressed out she had become and how she struggled to keep afloat in a world that would never feel like the one she knew. Everything had changed for her and for him too because this changed woman in front of him had done that. Until she felt she had her life back, he'd be there with her.

"Got it…so did you get any sleep?"

She shrugged.

"A bit before the nightmares started," she said, "I'm used to them or at least that's what I tell myself."

He sighed, looking at her thoughtfully.

"Is this lady…Miranda really helping you?"

She thought about it and nodded.

"Yes it's really helped to have someone to talk to about everything that happened," she said, "someone I can trust."

Almost as soon as those words slipped out, she regretted them. But he didn't look hurt or upset by what she said.

"Listen Houston, I didn't mean it like that."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I know what you meant," he said, "I felt the same way when I had been kidnapped. Everyone wanted to help me but they couldn't. I needed someone outside of my family and friends to mostly listen and then give me some good advice."

She remembered that turbulent period of his life…both of their lives because what happened with one impacted the other. They were linked together by something much stronger than a steel chain.

"She does help a lot but there are some things I have to sort through myself."

After saying that, she told him she was going to brew some chamomile tea to help her sleep and he told her that he'd stay overnight if she liked. She bit her lip considering it but she thought she didn't want to be alone right now. As long as he understood her limitations and had no expectations.

"I know I've been hard on you and I'm sorry," she said, "but I've just been dealing with a lot since that night and I'm doing the best I can."

She poured steaming water into both of their cups, to steep the tea.

"I know that," Matt said, "I think you should do what helps you C.J. and I'll support you."

She smiled at him because that meant a lot to her and though things had been rocky between them lately, she knew he'd been looking out for her.

They went into the living room to sit down on the coach.

"I'm going to talk to Brock in the morning," he said, "I'm going to find out what the feds Will do if Rodrigo of this new buyer of his show up."

"I don't expect much from anyone," she said, "I know you don't like to hear this but Brock betrayed me…I think he betrayed all of us."

Matt looked away and she knew he didn't like hearing that but she wasn't going to soft peddle the issue anymore with anyone let alone him.

"We're on our own no matter what you might think…"

Matt sighed heavily.

"I do know that…I realized that when I went after Rodrigo's lieutenants on my own. Brock called me a loose cannon but they sat there with their hands tied."

She sipped her tea hearing the frustration in his voice. He and Brock had been friends after all going back a ways. But Brock had his alliances to his fed bosses and they would always come before his friends even Matt.

"If I had known what happened to you…"

She closed her eyes with that because she knew he'd had killed more of Rodrigo's people and he might have never been back because he'd still be out there hunting him down.

"Houston, I'm glad you came back," she said, "I was so scared one or more of them would shoot you first…and Will, he needed you…your uncle…"

"You needed me too," he said, "I came back because of you and Will."

Will hadn't known whether or not he'd walk again, he still didn't know but at least things looked hopeful. Deanna had called earlier that day leaving a message that his therapy had definitely improved in the past week. That news had made C.J. happy but it wasn't lost on her that this meant that maybe Will and Deanna might be working their way back together again.

She looked down at her cup.

"He's doing a lot better," she said, "Getting closer to getting out of that chair."

"I know…he's certainly hopeful and I hope it works out for him. He's been through so much, he was just getting his life back after losing so much of it."

She slid a hand on his shoulder.

"He's a survivor Houston. Just like you."

He responded by caressing her face with one of his hands looking closely at her.

"And what about you…?"

She took a deep breath.

"I'm trying my best to be one too but sometimes I just feel like a shell of myself…"

"C.J., you're much more than that…"

She sighed.

"I know but every time I think about what I was, I remember and that's just too hard sometimes."

She saw the emotions work across his face when he heard her words.

"Then let me help you…"

She smiled.

"You are…but there's still a lot I have to do on my own…like you did after your kidnapping."

He appeared to understand that as they drank their tea. She felt sleep again, her body starting to relax. She stretched out a bit and Matt wrapped his arms around her. She didn't fight that, she found herself welcoming it and being close to him. Not as close as they had been but a start.

* * *

><p>Milan walked into the suite where Rodrigo had moved to earlier in the day. It wasn't safe for the wanted man to remain in one place so he had his hired help scout out digs for him and clear them for his use. This suite wasn't as luxurious as the last but then it wouldn't be much longer…<p>

But first the bitch would pay as would her lover. He wanted to be there when that happened at Gunthor's new place that would house another one of his secrets. The businessman had been on the cover of _Forbes _magazine for all his successes. But as usual, the media never got the entire story. Gunthor paid those closest to him all too much money to sell him out.

Plus they'd never live long enough to spend it before getting their throats cut.

Rodrigo looked up at him as he stood in the doorway.

"You like my new place?"

Milan remained uncommitted.

"It'll do…but you won't be able to stay here long."

"I won't have to," Rodrigo said, "Gunthor's house warming party's coming up."

Milan smiled.

"They are always memorable and this one looks like it might outdo them all."

Rodrigo shrugged.

"He does his best but he's a long way towards making his mark."

"Gunthor's had a few false starts but he'll rise to the top. If you don't know that, you're underestimating him."

Rodrigo shook his head.

"I never do that with a player like him," he said, "but I'm not handing over the keys to the kingdom. I took care of that traitorous bitch who thought she could play both of us."

Milan nodded.

"Working for the feds the whole time," he said, "but finding her body didn't scare them off."

Rodrigo went to the wet bar to pour another drink. His third of the day already but he needed to ease the tension out of his body. Being a wanted man wasn't an easy situation after all.

"Occupational hazard boss," Milan said, "You know the feds are coming up with all kinds of ingenious strategies to infiltrate and bring down our organizations."

Rodrigo made a face.

"Good luck…right now a setback of course but not for long," he said, "and as soon as Gunthor has his little soiree I'll be off to some unnamed country in South America."

Milan listened to his boss who seemed overconfident to him. But then Milan had his own plans.


	36. Chapter 36

C.J. showed up at the estate early the next morning and marveled at how it looked what with the landscaping that they'd been busting their butts doing for the past month. Her rose gardens were nearly finished and she'd be starting on the next thatches of color that would expand past it toward the orchard filled with peach, plum and fig trees. Somehow she knew it'd all work when it came together even though Carlos came up to them with changes in the plans nearly every day. Whoever this Gunthor guy was, he seemed somewhat indecisive.

He was a major player in the business arena, his conglomerated experiencing tremendous growth in the past several years. She'd been reading up on him online. He had offices all over the world, hundreds of employees on the books and a wife and children holed up on some estate on an island off of Greece. Must be nice she thought, but the company's portfolio in the import/export business was very impressive…that which she did know.

She was certainly sharp enough to know that Gunthor's business empire was like an iceberg, meaning that only parts of it were visible above the surface. Most of it was hidden away beneath it, in clandestine fashion. She'd learned that from some of the jobs that she and Matt had taken with federal agencies including that very last one.

Matt arrived a few minutes after she did and they just nodded at each other. Not much need to say much of anything after what happened the other night. She started off wanting to kill him for breaking inside her house only to find out a window had been open probably by her. Then she'd wound up taking him in her bed not for sex but to help sleep. As much as she hated to admit it after everything that happened, she still slept much better wrapped up in his arms.

She didn't have any dreams either.

But she still had to keep him at arm's length…she was trying damn hard to work out her issues with Miranda but the more she tried, the deeper they penetrated into what had happened, the more she fought back without meaning it. She wanted so much after all to put that last assignment behind him and for Matt to stop serving as a reminder…alas, easier said than done.

He's removed his shirt again when it'd gotten so damn hot and the ocean breeze did nothing but add to it. His body looked as good as it felt underneath her fingers when she'd been running them over every inch of it, following up with her mouth, taking in the tanginess of him and hearing his groans. She sighed picking up the shovel and going out to dig some more, turn over the old earth before fertilizing it for the next rows of flowers.

Carlos walked over to her. She looked up at him, beads of sweat already forming on her face and sighed.

"More changes…"

He shook his head.

"No…Gunthor will be arriving later this afternoon…to look at what you've done."

She tried to keep the surprise off of her face. She was beginning to think he'd never show up until the eve of his big gala.

"Really…I hope to meet him at last."

Carlos smiled.

"Oh I'm sure you will. He's eager to meet you…and Matt too."

She nodded.

"I should have the soil prepped by the end of the day," she said, "Still waiting on some of the starter plants."

"That'll be fine," Carlos said, "I'm sure he'll be pleased. He'll be here helping with the planning of the party. He's coming off a rigorous business schedule and needs time to relax."

"Will he be bringing family?"

Carlos just paused a long moment.

"No…they keep to the island estate," he said, "The children follow busy regimens for personal development."

"I see….well it'll be nice to meet him still. I look forward to it."

Carlos left her and she continued working and then looked over and saw Matt working on the project he'd started after completing the lagoon. It looked to be a gazebo that would be next to a fountain still to be built.

She left to walk over to check out his work. He rubbed his forehead with his shirt and just stood there looking magnificent without it.

"So how's it going on your end?"

He sighed.

"God, finally got the lagoon finished," he said, "but Carlos just told me boss man is showing up today."

"Yeah…finally," C.J. said, "I can't believe it after all this time…I thought we'd never meet the mystery man."

"Very successful businessman," Matt said, "all over the world…did you see the write-ups on that guy?"

So she hadn't been the only one up doing research on him.

"Yeah but I don't know…how much of it do you think is legit?"

Matt sighed.

"I don't know and we're off the clock remember?"

Yeah she remembered that and that it'd been quite a while for her. But still, unanswered questions about Gunthor nagged at her. Blame it on the day job, she thought as she went to fetch a water bottle from Matt' ice chest.

"So you locking up your place up at night?"

She put the water bottle down and looked straight at him.

"I always do that Houston…that window..I must have just forgotten."

His face grew serious.

"You can't do that C.J.…even if we're not working the trade, we've still got a very dangerous man hunting you."

She sighed, rubbing her arms.

"Like I can forget Houston? I never get to forget about it. Remember that…"

She started to walk away and he followed her to grab her arm but she shook his grip off.

"That's not what I meant C.J.," he said, "I just want you to be careful and stay safe."

"Neither of us are really safe Houston," she said, "He could come after you too…"

Matt looked doubtful.

"I don't think I have what he wants but you do."

A well of bitterness clogged her throat and she struggled to swallow it. Did he have to remind her of what…but then reason caught up and she realized that wasn't what he'd done.

"Rodrigo's no doubt been busy even if he's gone ghost on Brock and his guys," Matt said, "I just hope that doesn't mean he's close."

C.J. always assumed he was that already and kept her guard up. She had no desire to be in his clutches again. She'd die before that happened and she'd kill too.

She was more certain of that than anything else in her life right now.

* * *

><p>Gunthor sat in the back of his limo leaving San Francisco heading to his estate. Carlos had assured him that the renovations were on schedule. He hoped so, because that would just leave them to be finished so he could plan his gala.<p>

He had been most displeased with Rodrigo for losing his prize but knew he owed him because a year or so earlier, he'd been in the same circumstances. It's been his turn to lose one of the women he'd put up for sale to pay off a debt. A pretty little number with a body made for doing only one thing, he'd made sure of that himself.

He glanced at his phone and saw that Milan had called him. God, he hated him but had to work with him because he'd become Rodrigo's right hand man since the former one had been shot to death, probably by Milan. Assorted members of Rodrigo's band of lieutenants had died. The former assistant who had become his lover had been executed for betraying him along with her contact with the feds. That's what had after all, brought this lovely creature he'd acquired into his world in the first place.

The photo of her could never do her justice. He couldn't wait to see the real thing and his body tightened as he thought of everything he wanted to do to her.

He picked up the phone and called Milan.

"What's up…must be something important if you're wasting my time."

"Rodrigo's men will be at your disposal if you need them."

Gunthor chuckled.

"You can't be serious…if it weren't for me, your boss would still be sifting haystacks for needles out there. I told you I will handle it from here out and I will most enjoy myself in the process…now is that all?"

He just wanted to dismiss Rodrigo's underling and get on with his party planning. He had looked forward to his brief vacation from his exhaustive work schedule. It'd been a tough couple of years, a betrayal here, a merger there and a trail of dead bodies, some of which would never be found. But then that was the price of doing business and rising up as quickly as he did.

"Yes…except that Rodrigo and I will be at your gala and look forward to seeing what you've had done with the place."

"You should be…my new whore's working on it right now with her former lover," he said, "They will be my special guests of course."

"I thought you'd just kill him."

"Oh I will…but not before he'll watch me auction off her to my guests to enjoy for the rest of the night…by the hour."

Milan paused.

"You've got no mercy do you…"

"Of course not…we both know it's wasted in this line of work."

Milan left him and Gunthor clicked off his phone with a smile. Soon enough he'd be at his estate and the games would begin.


	37. Chapter 37

C.J. wanted to eat lunch alone underneath the tallest tree in a cluster of them near where there'd be rose gardens. She had worked hard all morning, her shirt sticking to her skin layered by sweat and dirt coating her skin including her lips.

She'd almost finished with the rose bushes and she had the marks to prove it where the thorns had poked her skin drawing blood in a few places. She'd splashed water over them and after stinging for a while, they'd quieted down. The roses didn't look like much now, just rows of ragged bushes looking like skeletons which would soon turn bright and colorful in so many hues.

That's how Gunthor wanted his garden to look according to Carlos. He might have changed his mind on the schematics but he never did with the roses. She wondered more about their mysterious boss, the new owner of this estate. It'd been abandoned for quite a few years and was now slowly being brought back to life.

Matt had spent most of the day tiling he areas around the renovated swimming pool. She'd seen him wiping his face crusted with dirt with his shirt after using water. His chest looked impressive and she remembered how his skin felt rough underneath her finger tips, how soft the whorls of dark hair felt beneath her hands when she palmed his chest as she kissed him hard on the mouth. She swallowed suddenly, her throat feeling parched so she reached for her water. Damn herself for feeling this way about a man who'd cut himself emotionally away from her because of what he'd thought she'd done the night of the party.

But then she couldn't blame him totally…she'd cut herself off first and through talking to Miranda in their sessions she knew that keenly now. What else could she do after what Rodrigo had done to her? She'd felt as if a part of her soul had been ripped away forever…that it remained with Rodrigo and the very worst part of him remained with her. She couldn't think about anything that had mattered so much before without remembering what Rodrigo had done.

Miranda told her that was a normal part of having PTSD and that it could be treated…over time and that she could be desensitized to anything that might trigger, often innocently the trauma she kept inside of her.

"Hey C.J.…"

She felt startled not knowing that Matt had left his own spot to approach her. She willed her body to relax not wanting to give him any hints that his actions unnerved her. No good could come from him knowing…it'd just increase the gap between them.

So she grabbed her water bottle and took a long sip out of it before staring up at him.

"What's up Houston?"

He leaned against a tree, still shirtless which meant of course her eyes had been drawn to his fantastically rugged build. She was a woman after all, even if most of the feelings that defined her as one had been shut down.

"Just getting ready to head on back," he said, "Adela called me and told me there's another shipment coming in."

She got up and brushed her hands on her jeans.

"You need help?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. No doubt he felt as beat up as she did after another long day working to whip this estate into shape.

"Probably wouldn't hurt…I know you've got some more work to do here with the roses."

She shrugged.

"It can wait…"

She didn't want to tell him she didn't want to be left here alone. Even with Carlos…and some of the other hired hands…she felt vulnerable without Matt around…even though most of the time she didn't want him there. Nothing made sense to her these days so she didn't get herself caught up in this paradox.

"You sure…?"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You don't want me to help you? Because if you don't, you can just say it…"

He frowned, pulling his shirt out of his back pocket and slipping it on over his body where it clung to his muscular frame.

"That's not what I'm saying and it's not what I'm thinking either," he said, "I just thought you'd be worried if you left your job undone."

"I'll be back in the morning," she said, "You know the owner might be here by then. We might get to finally meet him and get some of our questions answered."

He didn't seem surprised by her comments but she knew he had questions too about a man who was paying them quite generously to fix up an estate he hadn't even seen yet. Not much details had been revealed about him either…just that he was a very wealthy, very powerful businessman. He kept his family on an island estate in the Mediterrean not far away from Greece. This likely would be where he'd stay while conducting business on the West Coast or perhaps to entertain prospective clients or partner.

"I hope we learn more about him when we meet him."

She knew it didn't matter if that happened but it'd be nice. She'd heard talk that he planned to throw some type of soiree…a housewarming party. They'd find out soon enough if that were true and who'd be invited.

"Maybe he's not as mysterious as we think," she said, "Maybe he's just very guarded about his privacy like most men in his circumstances."

Matt didn't answer right away which meant he had his own theories. She didn't expect him to share them with her as he might have before…but then she didn't want to think about the past, to dwell on it.

She just wanted to take each day one at a time and that went for nightmares as well.

* * *

><p>Gunthor looked at the steak dinner that now sat in front of him elegantly set courtesy of room service. He'd checked into the most exclusive suite at his favorite hotel in San Francisco not long after the jet landed at the airport.<p>

He'd thought about heading to the estate early to surprise those he'd hired to oversee the renovations but felt tired from his flight so he opted to spend the night in the city and then head out the next day on the scenic drive. After dropping off his overnight bag, he headed to the gym to do a vigorous workout on the machines and then soaked in the hot tub on the deck outside the French doors in his suite.

While eating, he received a phone call from one of his partners, Lucian who reported to him on some business dealings in Thailand. The auction had led to some very nice purchases for a new establishment opening up in the business district of Bangkok. They'd already met with the police commissioner and paid him enough for him to look the other way and to rough up the competition while still taking protection money from them.

"Good, I'm happy to hear that we didn't waste any money…."

Lucian sounded pleased too. He should be, his association with Gunthor had made him a very wealthy man in his own right.

"There hasn't been any news about her…Marie…no one's seen her at all."

Gunthor clenched his jaw, not what he wanted to hear but she'd proven elusive to his attempts to track her down. Meaning that she must have help but who? He wondered where she'd gone and whether it was true that she had a baby due soon.

God, determining paternity of such a child wouldn't be easy…he remembered everything that had happened. It wouldn't do him any good to mix himself in that situation any further but he couldn't help himself sometimes. Even though he prided himself on his consummate control, when it came to the possibility of his flesh and blood being out there…

"Hey Gunthor, any word on your new purchase…?"

He sighed, the conversation on better footing. He leaned back in his chair picking up his glass of scotch with his other hand.

"Yes…she's at the estate nearly every day helping to renovate it," he said, "She'll find out the true nature of our business relationship soon enough…and by then it'll be too late."

"I'm sure it will be most satisfactory but if you ever tire of her…we've got plenty to do with someone of her ilk in Bangkok."

Gunthor grunted.

"You've got enough local women to keep an army happy."

"True…but if we hadn't been partners…I'd have bid on that sweet piece myself so just remember…"

Gunthor knew he'd never part with her not to a two-bit wannabe climber like Lucian. Yeah he needed him right now but he'd cut him loose soon enough after cementing his control of the sex trade in South Eastern Asia.

Until then he had plenty to do closer to home and plenty waiting for him at his new estate only hours away at last.


	38. Chapter 38

C.J. woke up to what looked unfamiliar to her.

The darkness cloaking the room, save for a sliver of light coming in through the window and the distant sound of a car driving down the street.

So different than where she'd just been, some place she had known.

She'd been in a plane with Matt flying back to San Diego after the disastrous operation in that villa off a beach in Mexico. Roy had gotten into a separate plane to fly with his injured son Will to a trauma center in L.A. to undergo more surgery to better assess the condition of the bullet wound in his spine.

Matt had been so damn edgy since he'd gotten on board, the anger never leaving him since it'd started and she knew that it'd only grow. She couldn't stand to be near him right now…his body so tense, and the growth of beard on his face attesting to where his attention had been focused.

She sat by the window, curled up to keep her own body from going rigid. Anything to soothe the soreness in her muscles from not ever being able to relax even to sleep. Watching Matt get up and pace within the confines of the Lear Jet when it hit cruising altitude…she just couldn't do it.

"How much longer," she heard him ask when they were still on the tarmac.

The federal agent said he was awaiting clearance from his boss. She knew what Matt wanted to do, he wanted to go track and kill the men who weren't caught. The ones who slipped away from the dragnet or who partnered from behind the scenes. No one knew just how big Rodrigo's operation stretched after all.

She bristled remembering his name because to know that much about them threatened to bring it all back to her. The tidal wave of images had nearly broken her each time so she'd figured out how to push them back so they wouldn't destroy her. She needed to be strong for all of them, for Will was family and to lose him, she'd never accept it.

"C.J…"

She heard his voice not believing he'd addressed her. In the last several days they'd barely spoken. He'd been so wrapped up in his cousin and she with her memories. Sometimes when she'd remembered what it'd been like those final hours of the siege, she just couldn't look at him.

If she did, she might slip and betray everything so she put a smile on her face as she looked at him.

"Houston, what is it?"

He paused as if indecisive and then he sat next to her in a seat.

"I don't know if he'll ever walk again after what they did."

She heard the rawness in his voice and braced herself. She'd touch his shoulder to comfort him but she didn't want to touch anyone.

Because if he touched her in response…no, better to keep herself at a distance, to focus on Will or Matt. Anyone but herself.

"They'll do the best they can to help him," she said, "and he's very strong…he has to be to survive everything that's happened to him."

She didn't know if that comforted him or not…very little did these days.

"The ones who got away…."

She waited for the rest not that he needed to finish.

"Houston…they got most of them. They got Rodrigo…"

That last word took most everything out of her and at that point he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. She imagined he hadn't slept, neither of them had even when they hadn't been sitting in uncomfortable seats in the waiting room at the hospital or doing brief vigils by his bedside in the intensive care unit.

"They have him in protective custody in case anyone tries to take him out…," he said, "I doubt he'll talk."

"Maybe if they offer him a deal."

Matt gritted his teeth.

"No deals…."

He looked up at the agent for agreement but the man just sighed.

"You're not thinking of cutting a deal with him already…"

The man hesitated.

"Not for me to decide but he's going to have a lot of information on his operation including its reach," he said, "We need to find all the books and files he and his partners kept to use as evidence."

Matt didn't seem to like that much. C.J. rubbed her hands together and looked at the agent.

"What about the women," she said, "The ones he kept…will anyone go looking for them?"

The man paused and cleared his throat.

"Why yes of course…they're his victims after all," he said, "the testimony that they can provide will prove invaluable…"

Not good enough. Not nearly enough.

"No…I mean how will you help them? After what he and other men did to them? That'll be with them the rest of their lives."

Matt glanced up picking up something in her voice which she hadn't meant to show anyone. But her eyes were on the agent.

"Yeah…well…we'll deal with that as well…of course we will."

She sank back in her chair closing her own eyes because if the images returned…then she heard his voice again.

"C.J…"

Almost in question but she shook his head pushing him away again. If he knew the truth…it'd just get him killed.

When she woke up she remembered that time in the airplane which felt like a lifetime ago. She'd been more lost back then than now but she knew how quickly that she'd succumb to it all over again if she allowed herself.

She heard the phone ring and went to answer it.

"C.J…?"

It took her a moment to process it.

"Houston…what's the matter?"

A pause followed.

"Nothing…I just woke up and thought I'd call you."

She felt that familiar bristling.

"I was asleep Houston…"

Sometimes a lie was just easier than the truth.

"Sorry…I'll let you go…."

She sighed.

"No…I'm up anyway," she said, "So what'd you want to talk about?"

"Not much…guess we'll be meeting our mysterious boss tomorrow…," he said, "He's supposed to arrive by noon."

"I wonder what he's like," she said, "What I've heard about him is probably not true…except for the part about him being a very rich and successful businessman."

"Got estates all over the world besides this one…but he's putting so much money into it."

C.J. didn't read much into that. People who had tons of money often spent it in ways others might call frivolous.

"It's his money Houston…besides it's starting to look nice."

Matt couldn't argue with that not when he'd contributed quite a bit of sweat and time into that process.

"Carlos said he plans to throw quite a soiree after it's done."

C.J. had heard that too and that those who renovated the house might be invited to attend. She'd have to think about that, parties just weren't on her list of things she wanted to do.

"I heard he throws great parties…"

Matt sighed on his end.

"I think I've been to enough of them to last me a while…"

"Yeah me too…"

That brought some silence between them because there still were some topics to avoid.

"C.J…I know it's been hard…"

She took a deep breath.

"Houston it's been hard on all of us. We're all still trying to make sense of it."

"Yeah but I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed it," he said, "If I could do it differently…"

"No Houston…nothing you did was wrong," she said, "Will needed you so damn much. His life…if it hadn't been for you and Roy, he'd had died there."

Matt paused weighing her words.

"But what happened to you…"

She rubbed her forehead.

"Houston…I don't want to talk about it," she said, "It wouldn't change anything and we just both did what we had to do to get through it."

"All right…but if you ever want to talk about it…"

"Houston…that's what Miranda's for," she said, "and she's really helped me a lot. There's no need for you to worry."

"What if I want to worry?"

"It won't help me…I just have to get through this myself," she said, "It's not about you, it's about me…I wish you could understand that."

He paused longer.

"All right…I'll see you tomorrow then…"

She didn't know how to respond except in one way.

"Good night Houston…."

Then she clicked off her phone to go to bed.

* * *

><p>Matt just stared at his phone not believing the way she'd closed him off yet again. She couldn't seriously think about going through what had happened by herself. She needed him and if he'd been a jackass in the beginning, he'd make up for that now.<p>

If he could just figure out a way to get her to see that.


	39. Chapter 39

When she first saw the man who owned the estate, she thought he hadn't matched her expectations.

Gunthor stepped out of the car in front of the house where both Matt and C.J. had been standing and talking with Carlos about the landscaping. She'd just finished the last of the roses and awaited her next assignment.

A bottle of water quenched her dry throat first as the day had proven to be another in the slew of those that blanketed the coast like a warm washcloth. She'd taken a glance at him and saw in one moment why so many people respected him and some others feared him.

He stood just over six feet tall but was built like he'd worked outdoors most of his life. Yet just by the way he moved and took in everything, she knew he'd received specialized training. His hair jet black, his eyes dark and missing nothing she knew that many women would be drawn to his looks.

Handsome didn't cut it, he was magnetic but then maybe that's what helped earn him his fortune. He stepped forward when he saw her and reached his hand out. She found that he gripped her hand strongly and studied her carefully.

It made her feel self-conscious and a bit on edge. He did the same with Matt though in a different way than with her. But then maybe he'd had a reputation as a ladies' man, she couldn't remember it. No wait he was married, not that it necessarily met anything.

"It's good to finally meet you," he said, "I've heard great things about your work."

His voice naturally matched the rest of him. She tried to smile back but found it difficult. Something about him…the way the power emanated from him. Definitely someone to keep you on your toes, forget that at your own peril.

"Likewise…"

He smiled at that.

"Why don't you give me a tour then of what's completed?"

She nodded and she and Matt walked with him explaining the renovations in the new rose gardens as well as the lagoon. Gunthor asked questions and they answered them but he seemed satisfied with their work.

They walked to the edge of the bluff that overlooked the beach where the tides came into shore. The ocean stretched like glass today as far as the horizon. She could make out the sailboats and some fishing boats floating where it was cooler than it was onshore.

"I'm planning to have a party…when the estate is finished."

C.J. nodded.

"We heard about that," she said, "It should only take about a week."

Gunthor smiled.

"I will be inviting many people…a house warming and you two will be on the list."

C.J. hadn't expected that.

"I…"

"You will be coming won't you? I insist…as a reward for all the work you've both done."

Something nagged at her.

"You're already paying us very generously for the labor…"

His mouth twitched.

"Not nearly enough…I am most impressed with how this place has been transformed since I purchased it. Come on, the party will be catered by a restaurant from San Francisco and there will be entertainment…"

C.J. glanced at Matt and noticed he was focused on Gunthor. She wondered what he was thinking.

"You can come alone or bring dates," he said, "unless the two of you…"

She shook her head.

"No…we're not…"

Matt glanced at her, his eyebrows arched slightly at her words. She just looked away from him, thinking whatever had been between them…it was long over right?

"Okay…I look forward to seeing you there," he said, "and for what will come in the day's ahead with the renovations. I know I've left this estate in good hands."

Matt clenched his jaw.

"You've built quite a reputation for yourself in your field."

Gunthor tilted his face.

"As have you Mr. Houston…Oh I've read a lot about you and your rise in the business world was nothing short of remarkable."

Matt paused.

"Why thank you…"

"I do know what it's like to not want to be in your father's shadow," Gunthor said, "A son's got to make his own way in the world and prove himself."

"My daddy taught me to work hard at whatever I chose to do."

"Likewise…though he died when I was younger than you," Gunthor said, "I'd like to believe he is satisfied."

C.J. couldn't imagine why his father wouldn't have been but then she didn't understand much of what it meant to have a father. Hers had died when she'd been a little girl, a long time from knowing how she'd turned out. Just being absent had helped shape her life…though she never stopped missing him.

"You built an empire," she said, "that's also helped many people."

Gunthor sighed

"Yes it has…but my father said more than once that service to others is the rent we pay for occupying this world. I try to live by that."

C.J. understood that adage. She and Matt did that themselves through the charitable foundation that was set up before Bill died. They both used their skills to do pro bono work for clients who couldn't pay their fees.

"I have some calls to make," Gunthor said, "Nice to meet you and I look forward to working together."

He shook their hands again and then walked towards the house. Both of them watched him go and C.J. wondered what Matt had thought of their boss.

"Seems like a nice enough fellow," Matt finally said, "in an industry like his, it's hard to remain that way."

C.J. couldn't argue with that.

"Houston…he seems like he's grounded well enough," she said, "Very guarded about his family outside his father but I can understand that."

The wealthy and powerful had to be that due to the fact that their assets made them targets for criminals who might resort to kidnapping or worse to grab them. Matt had learned that the hard way growing up being abducted as a small boy.

"I know…it takes a special woman to be able to handle that kind of life and the scrutiny it attracts."

"Or man…"

"Yeah…that too," he said, "I heard he throws elaborate parties…lots of good food and the best in entertainment."

They started heading back towards the lagoon.

"You going Houston?"

"I'm thinking about it…come on C.J. it'll be fun…something we both need and a reward for our hard work."

Her eyes narrowed.

"What makes you an expert in what I need?"

She'd felt the old defensiveness she wore now pop up not that she welcomed it. It wore her out because it never took a break or allowed her to do that.

"C.J. I'm not an expert on you or trying to be…I just think you should go that's all."

She sighed, trying to relax a bit.

"I'll think about it…but I don't think a party's what I need. I had enough of them."

He didn't respond to that. There wasn't much to say really that wouldn't get those walls of hers raised again.

"He seems to want you to come…"

She tried to force casualness in her voice.

"Oh really I didn't pick that up…what makes you say that?"

"Just a feeling…"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Houston I'm not interested in him…I'm not looking for anything…"

"I know that…"

She looked directly at him.

"From anybody…I think I'm done…"

She watched him digest what she said, his eyes widening slightly. But for once he didn't argue with her.

"Because someone hurt you?"

She glanced away for a moment.

"He did more than that," she said, "Ever feel like something's broken inside of you and can't be fixed?"

He looked at her carefully in a way she hated. She wasn't one of his enigmas to decipher. She wasn't a case to be solved.

"C.J…I do know what that's like," he said, "I spent years feeling like that…and I remember who helped me come out of that dark hole I felt trapped in."

She softened at the hint of his past in his voice.

"Then you know well enough there are times to just leave it alone Houston…"

She walked away from him back to her rose garden.


	40. Chapter 40

She didn't know he'd follow her back to the roses. Back where she'd spent weeks preparing the soil and then planting them in orderly rows. Following the color scheme that he requested.

"They're very beautiful," he said, "You've done just as I asked."

She absorbed the soft and clipped timbre of his voice. The man had sophistication but she could tell it hadn't been there his whole life. Somewhere back in the beginning, he must have grown up under more modest circumstances to say the least.

His eyes were those of a fighter first, but he'd become a predator as well. In his line of work, he targeted smaller companies, watched them carefully for a while and then pounced on them at their most vulnerable.

She imagined he won them most of the time and simply added them to his growing empire. He had become one of the most powerful businessmen in the world during the past decade, she'd been doing the homework on him that she did on anyone. Never could be too careful but with him she didn't uncover very much. He'd married into another family and housed his wife and any children on an estate built on a rocky island in the Mediterranean.

His family probably didn't know everything about his life and he preferred it that way. She watched him talking to Carlos who took him inside to give him the master tour no doubt.

Matt walked up to her drinking from a water bottle.

"You finished?"

She nodded.

"I'm heading on back to the nursery," he said, "Adele's got a shipment of more roses coming in since Gunthor's purchased everything in stock."

"He sure did but he knew what he was doing," she said, "They look beautiful…and when they all bloom, it'll be a sight to see."

"You heading on back?"

She nodded again.

"Duke called me," she said, "He wants to go out tonight…to the bonfire."

"Clover…she wants to go too. So we'll see you there."

She turned to walk back to her car and he watched her go.

"C.J…"

She stopped and turned around to look at him expectantly.

"I'm sorry what I said back there…I was way out of line."

She pursed her lips.

"Yes you were Houston….but I shouldn't have dumped on you like that. What's going on with me is my business not yours."

He shook his head.

"That's not true…I care about you a lot…and what happened…"

She cut him off.

"It happened and nothing will change that," she said, "I'm trying to move on with my life and Miranda…she's helping me with that."

"She seems like a nice woman."

"Sometimes…Houston…other times she's more brutal to get me to talk about things…well that are difficult to think about let alone put into words."

"If there's anything I can do to help…"

She sighed deeply.

"No Houston…you can't help me," she said, "I need to work through this by myself…no one can save me and see with you, that's always what you want to do."

"C.J. I…"

"You don't even realize that's what you're doing most of the time but you are…and I don't need it."

He looked frustrated at her words. But she wasn't about to soften the truth for anyone even him…especially him.

"So what can I do?"

She smiled slightly.

"Just be my friend Houston…sometimes that means just leaving me alone…"

He watched as she headed back to her truck, not able to accept that she was once again putting distance between the two of them.

The bonfire attracted a large crowd and C.J. showed up with Duke just after sunset. She looked out a the horizon which now looked the shade of burnt umber which would be fading soon into a mosaics of pinks, purples and finally blackness lit up by a mess of stars.

She noticed that Matt had arrived with Clover who'd brought a blanket for the two of them towards the back of the crowd. Barbecues had been set up serving fried clams and oysters along with crab sticks and other delicious items.

* * *

><p>Duke took her hand in his own and gestured on her to follow him towards the sand dunes.<p>

"Let's go have our private celebration…"

Her body tensed.

"Duke, I don't know…we should stay here and watch the bonfire…"

He tugged her closer and kissed her on the mouth, brushing his lips against her first and then intensifying it so that she barely felt his hands around her waist. She felt just as charged suddenly wanting him too. They broke for air.

"Okay let's go…"

He grabbed the blanket and they headed towards the sand dunes.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want."

She looked at him then and smiled, trying to steady the trembling she felt throughout her body.

"Stop talking and I'll show you what I want."

They walked faster.

The man watched as the couple headed towards the sand dune. He had his orders after all…to keep her within sight until the night of the party.

They neared a sun dune which hid them from everyone but him and the man spread out the blanket on the sand. Soon enough they were in each other's arms, kissing and their bodies molding together. The woman reached forward to help the man remove his shirt revealing his chest in the moonlight. He slid his own hands up her thighs inching the fabric of her summer dress baring more of her.

He reached for his camera knowing his boss wanted him to record every detail of his brand new toy.

* * *

><p>Gunthor got off the phone with one of his security men, Zach who had called in to report from an assignment that Gunthor had given him in Europe.<p>

Unfortunately, the news wasn't very good.

"I don't think she's on the continent," he said, "Even Milan said he hasn't seen a sign of her in months."

Gunthor sighed.

"I don't know if I can take his word for it," he said, "I still don't trust him and now he's working with Rodrigo…"

"You're paying me so much money and I haven't found much," Zach said, "I don't know if I can keep taking it."

Gunthor chuckled.

"Don't tell me you're developing any sense of honor now," he said, "I've got Brant in Brazil on a tip that someone's keeping her there. I've never had one get away from me before now…I must find her. My competition is using it to undermine me."

"Then I'll finish up here and wait until you decide where to send me. She was a sweet thing wasn't she? Never had it so good…she was golden."

"She had some unusual talents…that were very much desired…but I will find her. And in the meantime, I'll enjoy my brand new piece."

"Ah, your big high-priced purchase…how's she looking?"

"Better in person than in the material," he said, "Well worth hosting a party for in her honor…one she won't quickly forget."


	41. Chapter 41

Rodrigo laughed as he looked up at Milan.

"I'm looking forward to Gunthor's party. I think this is the happiest I've ever seen him since he lost that last prize."

Milan remained neutral, wondering if his boss expected him to comment. But he knew better than that, he had secrets of his own he'd never reveal.

"I've got some business to finish up here and then we can fly out there," Rodrigo said, "I want to see this woman of his…the whore who tried to betray me."

"She'll fit in better with Gunthor's operation than your own."

"I think so too. I would have liked to have shipped her off to Brazil to work down there but I couldn't turn my back on the money."

Milan agreed.

"You get a chunk of cash. Someone else has to do all the work."

Rodrigo chuckled and then looked closely at his lieutenant.

"And what will you get out of it Milan? I see you're not interested in attending Gunthor's soiree."

Milan shrugged.

"You've been to one of his parties, you've been to all of them."

Rodrigo leaned forward.

"It doesn't have anything to do with that…misunderstanding the two of you had last year does it?"

Milan bristled inwardly but showed nothing.

"No…not at all. We cleared the air between us. I've proven my loyalty above reproach."

"That's not how I heard it," Rodrigo said, "but as long as you do right by me, there won't be any problems."

Milan understood that but as always he had his own agenda. But he'd stayed out of this auction unlike the earlier one.

"There shouldn't be…now that the woman's in Gunthor's possession."

Milan walked over to look out the window to the scenery below them. Rodrigo had found a good place to hide out where the feds couldn't reach him. Like any self-respecting international trafficker, he had his own people infiltrating most of the federal agencies. If one got flushed out by the other side, two more were in to replace him by the end of the week.

Most feds couldn't be turned but there were always those to be seduced by more cash in one week than they'd see in their pension plans.

"She was a hot one wasn't she Milan?"

His lieutenant frowned, not looking at his boss. No, he couldn't agree with that. The images flashed through his head of Rodrigo's men fetching her to bring back to him. She'd struggled against him until he'd laid out the terms of her surrender.

She gave him what he wanted, then he wouldn't kill her friends. It hadn't been a promise he intended to keep but the feds' raid prevented him from making a liar out of himself.

"You enjoyed her too didn't you?"

Milan clenched his hands. That had been one of the secrets kept from his boss. His time with the woman after Rodrigo had left them alone hadn't gone quite as his boss had expected.

Not even as himself had planned.

Rodrigo didn't wait for an answer. He was already focused on making arrangements to attend the party without being spotted by the multiple law enforcement agencies hunting him around the world right now.

* * *

><p>C.J. woke up in her own bed back at the house. Despite what had happened with Duke at the bonfire, she'd not stayed the night with him. He'd dropped her off and she'd made herself some chamomile tea after showering and putting on her pajamas.<p>

Matt and Clover had left about the same time she and Duke had and she didn't know where they headed. They weren't really serious about each other, she knew that but Matt did like his companionship.

It'd been exciting last night with Duke on the beach. She'd felt a rush of anticipation and desire to follow through on it but afterward, she felt empty again. All the sensation rushed out of her to be replaced by the familiar numbness. Maybe that was progress, that she was able to feel something if only for a little while.

She got up to get some breakfast only to hear the doorbell ring. She went to go answer it and saw Matt standing there.

"Houston…what are you doing here so early?"

He walked inside without invitation. His face ridged with lines, nothing but serious.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay…"

She furrowed her brow.

"I'm fine…what's this all about? Did something happen?"

Matt paused.

"You left with Duke…"

Was that it, she thought.

"You left with Clover and I'm not showing up at your house asking you the same questions."

He scratched the back of his neck.

"I drove her home. I'm not seeing her. We just went out as friends."

She sighed.

"I know that but Houston, I…Duke and I don't really know what's going on with him."

Matt frowned.

"How well do you know him?"

She brushed a strand of hair back, a little taken aback at the tone of his voice.

"I know him about as long as you know Clover," she said, "I like him, he's nice and he's fun and I had a really good time with him last night…but he dropped me off here."

"C.J."

She snapped at him.

"Why are you asking me these questions? As if you have any right to do that. If I want to see Duke…or anyone else that's what I'm going to do Houston."

"I know that…I just want you to be careful."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Don't patronize me. I'm always careful. I always handle myself well in any situation. I can do that as well as you can…"

He put up a hand.

"I didn't say you couldn't C.J. Like I've been telling you, I worry about you. You've been through an awful lot."

"Yes I have and I'm handling it Houston. I'm taking each day one at a time and I'm doing what I can do to make it clear to myself that I have a life. If that includes having relationships with men…then that's my call not anyone else's."

"Okay… I know that. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to tell you when I'm concerned. I'm your friend…"

She saw the look in his eyes and softened.

"I know. It's just that with everything that's going on, those men looking for us. I still need a little bit of space right now. I can't handle it otherwise. I've got to make my own decisions or I'll never trust my ability to do so."

"C.J…this doesn't have anything to do…"

She shook her head quickly enough.

"No…really it doesn't…and I have to go into the nursery and handle some new orders for Adela so if you excuse me…I'll see you later."

He sighed and walked out the front door.

"If you need to talk C.J…my door's always open…"

She smiled.

"I know…I'll see you later."

Then she watched him leave with a heavy heart.


End file.
